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Mr Yakamoto
Reviews
Trash Humpers (2009)
Oh Trash! Give it to me! Give it to me!
Trash Humpers is a cathartic and beautiful film which portrays its heavily anti-establishment main characters not as an affront to the mainstream but as some kind of mutated, retard afterbirth of society that exists on a completely different path from the mainstream. The entire premise of Trash Humpers seems to pose the question 'what if instead of suppressing our human instincts to maintain society and the greater good, we all just acted on our most basic needs and feelings from moment to moment?' These characters are absolutely and completely unfettered by other people and simply do whatever they want all the time, which makes them a kind of romantic, devilish spectacle to watch.
The film's extremely low grade VHS footage is hypnotizing when blown up on a pristine 35mm film print. If anything, I'm glad that Trash Humpers will preserve evidence of the now almost extinct VHS era. You simply will not see anything quite like this anywhere else and seeing it in beautiful 35mm is a totally unique experience not soon forgotten.
Wheeler (1975)
Your Brain WILL Explode
A powerhouse of terrible 80s cinema, you will have to re-examine your entire life after you see this film. Possible the finest example of how not to edit together a chase scene, and how to not make it less than 45 minutes long. The "psycho" comes off more like a cross between Slim Whitman and Barney Fife. Slick is definitely one of the greatest hillbilly roles ever attempted and is a finely crafted gem of character acting.
If you are a fan of absolutely terrible 80s cinema, this film is not to be missed!
Highly recommended.
Signs (2002)
Worst Plot Ever
Ok imagine this, you are part of a super advanced alien colony that needs to attack another planet to survive. You decide that Earth looks good enough so you start heading towards it. You finally get there and all looks good, you have the planet in your grasp, until wait! oh no! You forgot that you went to a planet that is 90% water and water makes your freaking skin melt off. This movie features some of the biggest plot holes i have ever seen and some of the crappiest aliens also. I think the thing that bothered me the most about this movie (no not M. Night Shyamalamandingdong's pitiful attempt at acting) was the scene in which one of the aliens was beaten mercilessly with a baseball bat and did absolutely nothing to stop from being killed. These are the same aliens that could jump up on 10 foot high roofs in a matter of seconds and yet they apparently cannot do anything but stand still when being beaten over the head with a bat. I will give this movie some credit however because if you look past the bad acting and the retarded aliens there are a few scenes with very good cinematography. Lastly, I hope to God that if the Earth is attacked by aliens in the future, they are the ones from this movie so all you have to do to survive is stand by a freaking sprinkler.