Reviews

At the outset of World War II, Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union signed a Non-Aggression Pact, whereby they agreed to partition Poland. Germany invaded first, then the Soviets. This movie deals with the horrible consequences.

About 12,000 Polish army officers were taken into Soviet custody, and massacred at the Katyn Forest. These were mostly reservists. In civilian life, they were educated, middle-class, professional people. To the Communists, that made them potentially dangerous--the kind that they usually eliminated after taking power.

This is a true story, a great tragedy seldom mentioned here in the US, but one that is well-known in Eastern Europe. This movie belongs in the same category as The Killing Fields, or Schindler's List. We must never forget the victims of Katyn.

This movie is about pair of Brazilian police rookies who join an elite team (similar to our SWAT teams) called BOPE. The training is so rigorous that only a handful complete it. BOPE officers go into the worst slums in Rio de Janeiro to arrest drug dealers and gang members. They are, as the narrator explains, a very different breed from the regular police.

Rio's police force is rife with corruption and incompetence; BOPE's job is to fix out-of-control situations that the other cops have messed up. BOPE is judge, jury, and executioner. Suspects don't have the rights and protections that they do in the US.

The narrative style and direction strongly resemble the films of Martin Scorcese (Mean Streets, Goodfellas). The pacing is perfect. You feel like you're right there in the slums of Rio, watching the action. I guarantee that no one will be bored for one minute. Anyone who likes The French Connection, Maria Full of Grace, Traffic, or New Jack City should definitely see this. It will be ranked among the best movies of this genre.

This movie was playing at the Union Station cinema in Washington, at 7:30 on a Saturday night. The place should have been completely packed, but it was nearly empty. We soon learned why.

Unearthed has a generic, by-the-numbers plot crammed full of the same old tired horror-movie clichés. It had no direction to speak of. The camera work was amateurish at best, and the dialog nearly incoherent. The camera was pointing all over the place, providing an occasional glimpse of something like a face, a vehicle, or a building. Most scenes were too dark and cluttered to make out anything clearly.

Don't even imagine that this stuff belongs in the "so-bad-it's-good" category. Those movies at least have some originality, humor (even if it's unintentional), and other qualities that make them stand out. They are the kind of movies that people remember, whether they want to or not. Unearthed has nothing worth remembering. I can barely recall even one single scene; the only thing I can remember clearly is waiting for it to be over. It seemed to drag on for several hours or more.

Very soon, this thing will be dead, buried, and totally forgotten. May it rest in peace--FOREVER.

Many of the younger readers here may not remember the murderous regime of Idi Amin, dictator of Uganda. I was in college when he was deposed, in 1979. Shortly before that, I saw a good documentary about this tyrant, titled Idi Amin Dada. If you mixed scenes from this new movie with the scenes from that documentary, it would be hard to tell which is which. Forrest Whittaker is so convincing that you soon forget that he's an actor.

The story is told from the perspective of a young Scottish doctor who goes to Uganda for his first job. Fresh out of medical school, he's very bright and motivated, but naive. He meets Idi Amin through an accident of fate, and becomes his personal physician. At first, the dictator seems to be a good man--a man of the people. I won't give away any more.

If this movie gets no Oscars, then something is seriously wrong. Just beware, it contains some disturbing scenes of violence and gore. Not for the timid, but a real gem.

As most of you know, the dialog in this movie is all in Latin and Aramaic, in order to lend it some kind of "authenticity". Those two dead languages must have posed real challenges for the actors. Anyone familiar with Christian mythology knows the story anyway, so you can dispense with the dialog. The soundtrack is rather dreary and depressing, too.

So when I watched this movie, I turned the sound off and put on some music instead. My selection was some excellent Dixieland jazz. Good time music. Party music. For a gore-and-splatter movie like this, my drink of choice is a Bloody Mary. I make them very strong. About halfway through the show, I ran out of vodka and switched to gin. It was just as good, either way.

Anyhow, back to the movie. Where was I? Other reviewers have pointed out some of the movie's many flaws. Mel Gibson's anti-Semitism is plainly evident. And he's hard on the Romans, too. I couldn't resist thinking about that scene in The Life of Brian when the rebel leader asks "What have the Romans done for us?"

The violence and gore are so grossly exaggerated as to be unbelievable. No one could have survived the brutal treatment that Jesus receives long enough to get to the Crucifixion. Everything in this movie is carried to absurd extremes. In short, it's nothing more than a propaganda film.

It's not even good propaganda; the obvious intent here is to preach to the converted. It was made for them, not to convert any skeptics. In fact, the movie has little to say about Jesus' life, or his teachings. It barely touches on these subjects, and even then it's only through a few brief flashbacks (they provide just enough time to pour another drink).

If you want a real historical film about this subject, see The God Who Wasn't There, by Brian Flemming. There is no solid historical evidence that Jesus actually existed. The so-called Gospels are simply recycled versions of more ancient myths about other gods and prophets.

For gore, splatter, torture, and sadism, this movie ranks way down my list. See Bloodsucking Freaks, Hostel, Cannibal Ferox (aka Make Them Die Slowly), Premutos, The Burning Moon, Violent Sh*t, Man Behind the Sun, The Untold Story, or Dead Alive. They are all better than this junk.

Well, after several drinks I began to forget what a piece of trash this movie really is. In fact, the music provided an excellent sound track, and made it very enjoyable. Sometime, I'll try watching it again with some Bourbon and some modern jazz, or perhaps some tequila shots and salsa music. Maybe I'll eat the worm during the Crucifixion scene.

Thomas Edison said "Religion is all bunk". I agree, but sometimes it can still be entertaining.

An independent film-maker in New York City eats at McDonald's three times a day every day for a month, just to see what happens to him. At the outset of this experiment, he is given a medical exam--and found to be in excellent health (at least physically, although his vegan girlfriend seems to question his mental state).

This movie is not exactly scientific; it relies upon a "sample of one", the personal experience of an individual. But it's entertaining and insightful just the same. And a controlled scientific experiment, using thousands of test subjects doing the same thing, would probably yield similar results.

In addition to his personal experience, he researches the fast food industry and its effects on society. As other reviewers point out, Eric Schlosser's book Fast Food Nation (Perennial, 2002) explores this subject in much more detail. Fast food and physical inactivity are directly linked to the growing problem of obesity.

This is a cautionary tale for our times, a wake-up call. In the final analysis, your health depends on you--NOT Washington, Wall Street, Madison Avenue or Hollywood. If you don't believe me, just ask any vegan.

Do you have a teenage daughter? Tracy, the pretty blond protagonist of this story, starts off as the kind of girl that every family would love to have.

Then she meets the "coolest", most popular girl in her middle school, and starts on a downward spiral. I won't divulge where she ends up. But suffice it to say that every family hopes that their daughters don't go there.

Thirteen is original. Made more for parents than for teens, it is one of the better movies this summer (OK, I guess that's not saying much). If you enjoyed Kids and The River's Edge, then see this.

The Holy Mountain is best described as a stream of consciousness--like a really weird dream. It's the kind of movie that keeps you watching just to see what happens. You never know where it's going next. Some parts are certainly better than others, but every scene has something memorable about it.

Jodorowsky is part Luis Bunuel (An Andolousian Dog, Viridiana), part Fellini (La Dolce Vita, 8 1/2, Amarcord), and part David Lynch (Eraserhead, Blue Velvet). If you enjoy those three directors, you'll probably find this one worth your while. But if strange, off-beat art films leave you cold, don't bother with it.

Anyone familiar with the work of Andreas Schnaas (the Violent S**t series and Zombie '90: Extreme Pestilence) knows what to expect. Of course, I mean over-the-top gore, a plot that lampoons splatter movies, generally poor acting, and dialogue that must be hard to say with a straight face.

Nikos the Impaler is no different. It's about a character similar to the real-life Vlad Dracule (a.k.a. Vlad the Impaler). At the beginning, his enemies kill him--but not before he swears to return. And sure enough he does, through an unlikely chain of events, in present-day New York City.

Look for references to other Schnaas movies. Also watch for a cameo appearance by Lloyd Kaufmann, president of Troma Productions. Just don't take this one seriously, and you'll enjoy it.

Anyone who enjoyed the other early James Bond movies (Dr. No, Goldfinger, You Only Live Twice) should see this one. It's done in the classic style, with all the elements of a good Bond movie.

Sean Connery is in top form. The female cast is excellent (and can even act). The villain is typical: ruthless, amoral, but also very intelligent and courageous. He also has some manners. Of course, he works for SPECTRE, the sinister international terror organization. The stunts are great, the weapons and gadgets are super, and the settings make you want to go there.

Of special note to military/aviation buffs: this one features footage of the British Royal Air Force Vulcan bomber, which saw many years' service during the Cold War.

After a while, the Bond movies became rather old and stale. But the original 007 flicks with Sean Connery are classics. And they're still entertaining.

This is one sequel that is worthy of the original. It has plenty of action and a dose of humor. If you enjoyed the first two Terminator movies, see this one.

Arnold Schwarznegger is a very limited actor. But this is the perfect role for him, the one that made him a huge star. His stiff, deadpan manner would be a drawback in most roles, but as a killer robot he's very convincing.

Without the direction of James Cameron, I thought this might not be as good as the other Terminators. But it is. Of all the summer blockbuster movies, this is the best (OK, maybe that's not saying much).

Don't expect a masterpiece--just sit back and have a good time.

Goldfinger set the tone for all the Bond films to follow. It has the best villain (with the best sidekick), and the most famous scenes of all the Bond movies. If you see just one Bond flick, this should be it.

Like many movie buffs, I consider Sean Connery to be the best James Bond. He plays Bond perfectly. He's serious, but not too serious. He's cunning, but not infallible. He's not fearless, but is able to keep a cool head in any situation.

The early Bond movies may seem dated today. It's all been done so many times since. The world has changed, too. But they were fresh and original, in contrast to the later movies which ultimately became stale and cliche-ridden. Besides, the death of producer Albert R. Broccoli took a lot out of the newer Bond movies.

Many, especially younger filmgoers, fail to understand that these movies are all rather tongue-in-cheek. That's why the satires of Bond seem like second-rate imitations. It's hard to satirize something which was not really serious in the first place.

One last thing: When you see this movie, be sure to have a dry martini in your hand--shaken, not stirred, of course.

No doubt about it, this is among the year's best movies. Peter Jackson's direction is superb. The performances are outstanding. The battle scenes are magnificent. And the New Zealand scenery is simply gorgeous (as good as in any movie I've ever seen).

Not having read the novels by J.R.R. Tolken, except The Hobbit, I cannot say how faithful the movie is to them. But it seems shorter than its three hours. It NEVER drags.

Having three of Jackson's early movies (Bad Taste, Dead Alive, and Meet the Feebles), I can attest that The Lord of the Rings is a significant departure for him. Not only is it his first big-time production, but it is the first serious movie Jackson has made. The others are pure camp. And be forewarned: the earlier Jackson movies are definitely NOT for kids. But for adults, they are great fun.

That leads to my final point. The only thing missing from LOTR is Peter Jackson's twisted sense of humor. Perhaps the subject matter does not lend itself to it. But the film could use a bit of comic relief.

This is a chick flick. But it's one of the most intelligent that I've ever seen. It makes one think, not merely fantasize or get all emotional.

We've seen films and documentaries about female escort services. This is the first one I know about a male service. It calls to mind the old song Just a Gigolo.

Andy Garcia plays a talented but unsuccessful writer. His novels, admired by the critics, somehow don't sell. Desperate to support his young family, he feels compelled to find some other line of work.

And then there's the sight of Mick Jagger in a three-piece suit -- almost worth the price of admission. It's a fine, nuanced performance. It seems consistent with the Jagger persona, in an odd way.

If you want quality drama devoid of the usual chick flick cliches, this is for you. That is, if it's playing in your town.

This movie is about Master Sardu and his infamous OFF off-Broadway show, known as the Theatre of the Macabre. "Macabre" is an understatement. His "show", or whatever you call it, is an over-the-top display of sado-masochism. If the Marquis de Sade were active in the theater, this is the kind of thing he'd put on.

And the rest of the movie is in the same vein -- pardon the pun. The stage show is a mere warmup to the horrors that follow. Sardu and his partner Ralphus plumb the depths of human depravity in ways seldom, if ever, filmed before or since. It's hard to imagine anything more sick or depraved. Or fun.

Fun for me, anyway. I fantasize about doing the same things Sardu does to the people I loathe. They don't need to be named here. It's a purely vicarious pleasure that appeals to certain individuals.

But for "normal" people, this film is nearly unbearable. If you have any sensitivity, squeamishness, or compassion, it is truly beyond bad. You may think you've seen everything. So did I -- until I saw this.

If Bloodsucking Freaks has a theme, it is sheer nihilism. If it can be compared to any other movie (a debatable proposition), I would say it's Make Them Die Slowly, Cannibal Holocaust, Street Trash, The Burning Moon, or works of Andreas Schnaas.

For better or worse, it is highly unlikely that anyone will ever attempt anything like this again. Some will find that comforting.

At first, I thought this would be just another dumb, cliche-ridden "chick flick", especially after one of our local movie critics panned it. How wrong I was!

This movie is a joyous celebration of life, love, family, food, and fun. Of course, it's not totally original. And it could be about nearly any large traditional family, whatever its ethnic makeup.

But it's exceptionally well written, directed, and performed. Also, it's devoid of explicit sex, nudity, violence, or perversion. Definitely an excellent movie for a date, or for a quiet evening at home with the family. Finally, it's a fine appetizer before having a traditional Greek dinner.

If you enjoyed My Big Fat Greek Wedding, check out Zorba the Greek. It's a classic film starring the late Anthony Quinn.

The title of this film should be translated as "This has occurred near you" or "This has occurred near your home". How they came up with "Man Bites Dog" is beyond me.

In any case, this is an exercise in voyeuristic violence akin to Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Violent Shit, Natural Born Killers, and A Clockwork Orange. If graphic violence and sadism turn you off, then just skip it.

The movie is about a team of Belgian student film-makers who follow Benoit, a local sociopathic killer, as he goes about his business -- robbing and killing innocent (mainly older) people. They are not only vulnerable, but generally possess plenty of money. Evidently, many Europeans still stash a good deal of cash around the house rather than investing it. Maybe it's to avoid taxation (as in Juzio Itami's Japanese movie A Taxing Woman).

Gradually, the film-makers go from passive onlookers to active participants in the most ghastly crimes. Showing no empathy for their many victims, one of them breaks down and cries when another crew member is killed. It's an us-vs-them mentality -- and "they" are ordinary citizens rather than criminals.

During the process, as in other films of this genre, the viewer begins to feel as if he himself is becoming a participant. As Holly Willis' notes on the cover put it: "It is at this moment that we recognize our complicity as spectators in the spectacle we are viewing." This is one of the reasons why so many find this type of movie so repugnant. But for me, it's an excellent catharsis -- a vicarious way to vent my suppressed anger, hostility, and frustration. It's excellent therapy, and cheaper than seeking "professional help".

It may be hard to find this one for rent (I own it on laser disk), but it's well worth the effort. Just be careful about who else is allowed to see it -- NO CHILDREN PLEASE!

M*A*S*H was released in 1970, and is actually more about the Vietnam War than the Korean War. Placing the movie in its historical context, one can make perfect sense of it. It came out as the American people became increasingly disenchanted with the war in Southeast Asia. President Nixon had ordered the invasion of Cambodia, sparking huge anti-war protests -- including the one at Kent State where several people were killed by National Guard troops. The civil rights movement, hippie movement, sit-ins, urban riots, the Manson trial, the sexual revolution, and the beginning of modern environmentalism provided the backdrop for this movie's initial release.

Robert Altman's first (and greatest) success, this film uses a format best described as a "slice of life". It is episodic rather than plot-driven. Don't expect a dramatic climax; this movie is about the journey rather than the destination.

The doctors arrive in Korea to serve out their one-year tour of duty, and decide to make the best of it. Amid the terrible suffering of the sick and wounded, they try to preserve their sanity. For its time, just after the introduction of the new MPAA rating system, this film had some very risque moments. Today, we might consider it fairly tame. But it still has a lot to say.

M*A*S*H is a true landmark anti-war movie, along with Catch-22, Dr. Strangelove, and Paths of Glory. Significantly, its release was almost simultaneous with that of a very different kind of war movie: Patton. The latter is about the days when our forces had a well-defined enemy, a clear moral imperative, specific objectives, and full public support. The contrast between the two films reflects that between Vietnam and World War II. See both of them, and the lessons become clear.

By the way, if you have not seen the lame, boring sitcom based on this movie, then don't waste your time. You haven't missed a thing.

No doubt, Red River is one of the classic Westerns -- right up alongside True Grit, Stagecoach, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, High Noon, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. John Wayne, Montgomery Clift, Walter Brennan, and Joanne Dru all turn in first-rate performances under the direction of Howard Hawks. Hawks and John Ford were the two best Western directors of their time (hard to say who was better).

Tom Dunson, John Wayne's character, stakes out his turf in the West Texas scrubland, far from any town. He decides that this is as good for cattle ranching as anywhere. The rest of his wagon train moves on.

From there, it's a tough, uphill battle to build a herd, but he does with the help of his sidekick (Walter Brennan) and adopted son Matt (Montgomery Clift). Following the Civil War, the defeated South no longer provides a market for beef. Poor Southern folks just can't afford it. So Dunson decides to drive his cattle to market in Missouri, to feed the Northerners. No one has ever tried such a long cattle drive before. Along the way...well, I won't give away what happens.

Even if you're not a big fan of Westerns, this is one worth seeing. Movies don't get much better than this.

Stormy Monday has a fairly routine plot, with a few odd twists to it. What makes it special? Three things.

The atmosphere of the movie makes you feel as if you're having a nice evening out on the town, making your way from pub to pub. You can almost taste the beer, and smell the smoke. Most of the story is shot on location in the old Newcastle city center. If you're in the right mood for something like this, then it's perfect.

Secondly, the characters are interesting and engaging, yet enigmatic. You want to know more about them. None fit the typical Hollywood stereotype. Sting, Sean Bean, Melanie Griffith, and Tommy Lee Jones (a relatively obscure actor then) are all in top form.

Third, if you enjoy jazz, then this is a must-see. In that regard, it is comparable to The Cotton Club, Round Midnight, or Bird. The visiting Polish jazz band reminds me of the struggling young musicians in Leningrad Cowboys Go America. This was clearly made by someone who appreciates good music.

This movie, released in the late 1980s, may be hard to find. But it's worth it.

Ever go to bed shortly after a meal of hot, spicy food (for example, Thai or Indian curry)? You probably had difficulty sleeping soundly, and maybe some strange dreams. Lying there in the dark, in that half-awake, half-asleep state, is the closest thing in real life to Eraserhead.

This dark, nightmarish piece of work is surreal, like the early work of Luis Bunuel (e.g., An Andalousian Dog). The plot, if it can be called that, seems to have been drawn from someone's subconcious mind. It almost seems to have been dictated by someone under hypnosis.

Eraserhead can be interpreted many different ways. And while David Lynch has made a number of other films (each one rather bizarre), none have attained the cult status of this one. That's because of its unique, dreamlike quality. You can watch it over and over, and each time get something new out of it.

Some of the imagery is very disturbing, and not for the squeamish. You have to see it to believe it. For best effect, watch it alone, late at night, after at least several drinks.