Change Your Image
kainsbishop
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Crimes of the Future (2022)
A dull pizza cutter- all edge, no point.
I found it interesting that a lot of reviewers said they couldn't follow the storyline. I followed it just fine; and it was entertaining enough. Didn't get to the Inner Beauty Pageant- maybe Cronenberg is planning a sequel? His self insert of Viggo's character Tenser was a little too obvious. The 'embracing technology is changing our inner selves' metaphor was okay, I found it more intriguing in Videodrome- though after James Woods defection over to the RWNJ space, I can't recommend anyone who hasn't seen it watch that one.
I will say this, Crimes of the Future kept my attention. The body horror isn't really all that horrific- although maybe that's my 49 year old jaded world view.
The payoff... wasn't there. I saw it coming, for one- and the conundrum of whether the evolution was self induced or 'natural' was never resolved, although I suppose that was a Cronenberg's point.
Not for everyone- but if you like trippy scifi with lots of loose ends, give it a go.
The Sandman (2022)
When the Creator of the original Endorses the Character Changes...
Neil has endorsed every character change, so all of you 'go woke go broke' can go pound sand. Gaiman writes intriguing characters and if he's on board with any changes, then nobody has a reason to complain. The original comic was woke as hell for the time (yes I did that on purpose)- and this is a great show.
The Batman (2022)
For the love of Kane, EDIT this tedious mess.
****spoilers ahead****
Unpopular Opinion- Making the Batman into a PG-13 copy of Saw/Se7en with a 3 hour run time bored me to death. I do not understand all of the hype. On top of that; Batman lost.
Riddler got away with 90% of his plan- the only miss was recruiting Bats to his side/killing Bruce Wayne.
The story was all over the place- and every time I felt like they were amping up the tension, we were treated to long expository scenes of Gotham... yeah, we get it, it's a Gothier Gotham than Burton's.
Batman devotees will love it, of course. And I'm sure the story was a lot tighter in the comic book- but in the end, this wasn't a Batman I could root for.
No complaints about the casting or acting- all was done pretty well except for Dano's monologue. I feel like this Anonymous style Riddler wouldn't have spent an interminable amount of time laying out inner thoughts a therapist would have failed to drag out of him. His exposition was the ongoing riddles and Bat cards sprinkled throughout the movie.
Points for production values and pure style.
Dune (2021)
The Dune I've been waiting for!
Visually arresting, stunning in it's grandeur and scope. The casting was all star, but not one character seemed miscast. The visuals of this film will be examined for years. Timothee Chalamet delivers a believable Paul Atreides- a young man who can tell he is on the precipice of becoming something more than a God.
I just wanted it to keep going and going. If number two fails to be funded, it will be one of the most colossus misses in Hollywood history.
Infinite (2021)
We've seen this movie before. There can be only one.
Start with Highlander, add a lot of Wanted- sprinkle in some Underworld, some 007, and replace the Infinity Stones with an egg; and voila; you have Infinite. Mark Wahlberg was miscast in this; because I kept expecting him to talk to his vehicle as it morphed into a robot.
I have no problem with paying homage to other tales, after all is said and done, The Hero's Journey is the Hero's Journey... but this one doesn't add anything that we really need to see.
Do yourself a favor- watch any of the other movies or franchises I mentioned... except Wanted. Wanted still sucks.
Brand New Cherry Flavor (2021)
So Much Promise... then Fizzzzzzzzle
I really loved this- the first few episodes were sweet, and delivered on their self determined daughter of Cronenberg status. Story could have been tightened up in a few places, but this can be forgiven because watching Rosa Salazar chew the scenery is delightful...
Then...
The End.
Ugggh- yeah, I know, let's preserve the main characters so that we can shoot a sequel, but with all of the supernatural ideas floating around, they couldn't have come up with something a little better for our Climax/Denouement? Solid seven stars until that ending knocked off two.
Grisse (2018)
Comparisons to Deadwood are Dead on Balls Accurate
This is basically a spaghetti western set in Indonesia, and they take full advantage of the locale by giving us several factions all fighting over the heart of Grisse- a walled garrison where the drug trade is paramount and everyone is after the next, more potent formula for heroin. Great characters, good pacing, and revenge upon revenge story. What's not to like? Oh, I suppose if you're all upset and belong to the "wOkE/Go brOKE" crowd, you'll leave some piss poor review; that's okay. It's still an excellent series.
The Irregulars (2021)
Magic and Anachronism, and your problem is the race of the Actors?
This is based off of a Graphic Novel- Interesting story lines, keeps my attention; it's fun!
Sherlock Holmes has been a jumping off point for hundreds of stories; this one does Doyle's characters no disservice, just an interesting spin.
Good production values, good acting- enjoyable.
I Care a Lot (2020)
The hate is pure Misogyny.
This movie was compelling, fun, and didn't have one likable character. Neither did Scarface- and that's the closest thing I can think to equate this with.
The story had a few twists and turns, but in the end, it was all about the money- pure avarice. It's as good a motivation as any, maybe even better than some. All of the hate for this movie is because of the perceived victims... meh. Great anti-heroine tale of corruption. Netflix kicks out some stinkers, this isn't one of them.
Dirigible Days (2012)
Two stars for the Idea
This is awful- not even a passable student film. I wish I could rate it higher for the effort, but come on- I kept expecting some 'Boom chicka wow wow' music, because this is pretty much on par with low budget X rated features. I understand it was a passion project... but Prime needs to stop throwing this kind of dung on the wall to see what will stick. This didn't.
The Kitchen (2019)
Serious Review
The majority of the.negative reviews on here speak to the fragility of the male ego. This was a decent organized crime movie, I would put it on par with Live by the Night or Kill the Irishman. It's no Donnie Brascomor Goodfellas, but come on, you don't get that caliber of mob flicks all the time. Just because the main characters are female, you get a ton of negativity.
Give it a watch, It will likely keep you entertained if you aren't worried about your masculine ego.
October Faction (2020)
So Sick of People Rating Titles Low because of Social Content
This kept my interest. The premise isn't new, but the execution has some neat twists....Monster Hunters in a World Wide underground organization have to deal with internal family drama. Yes, the acting leaves a but to be desired, but give them time to find their footing.
I'm giving it a ten to combat the Incel Reviewers that have decided to take over the review boards with their bull manure.
Good show to watch while cleaning the house; you won't get lost even if you miss ten or fifteen minutes.
Rattlesnake (2019)
No Moral Conundrum
Who wouldn't have put three slugs into Theo Rossi's character in exchange for their daughter's life? I know I would have. Could have been quite good, nice visuals and music. But she didn't really make that deal with the powers that be, now did she? Should have gotten more agreement fro. The protagonist prior to the 'deal' being struck. Still, not bad.
Cyrus (2010)
Seriously?
Somebody liked this? I'm sorry, Marisa. I love you and everything you do...except this abortion of a movie.
Leave the cinema veritas zoom to action movies. I seriously wanted to throw up several times.
There is NOTHING good about this film. I have a life; I watch movies to escape it, not to live some poor asshole's horror story.
Jees; the person who green lit this should be crucified. And I'm not kidding.
Oh, and the leading actors need to get jobs...in Somalia. I really don't want to ever see them again.
AWFUL.
Passengers (2008)
A Twilight Zone Episode at Best
Please, save yourself, your money, and your sanity. I'm sorry, I love Anne Hathaway, I love twist endings, I REALLY love dark psychological thrillers....
FAIL, FAIL, FAIL... on all counts.
This movie is so schizophrenic, I wanted a shot of Thorazine to get through it.
Maybe I missed it, but they never gave the year this was supposed to be set in, so I'm guessing late 80's due to lack of cell phones, internet, etc.
Hey, keep insulting M. Night Shyamalan, but man, he did this WAY better.
Zombies Gone Wild (2007)
I can't vote 0, so here goes
A couple of my friends made me watch this to torture me over making them watch Stink of the Flesh.
This movie made Stink of the Flesh seem like one of the top ten horror movies in existence.
I had to fast forward through much of this, and after I removed it from my DVD player, I promptly broke the disk in two, and made them march it out of my house.
It is that bad. IMDb is making me write more, so here goes;
SAVE YOURSELF, DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. I cannot stress enough how bad this movie is. And I sat through the Dark Backward, so I know I can sit through an awful movie.
Dagon (2001)
A Classic
SPOILERS INCLUDED!!!!!
`The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate its contents.'
H.P. Lovecraft
The most unnerving thing in the world is that someone finally manages to do justice the one of Lovecraft's stories, bringing to DVD one of the freshest horror movies produced in a long time, and self-proclaimed critics are falling over themselves to point out all of its faults. As far as I could see, every one of the things I have read people complain about thoroughly illustrates the cannibal tendencies of Hollywood producers. Those who found Dagon boring, slow, poorly written, poorly acted, et al., would be better served to zombie themselves down to the local metroplex to imbibe Scream 19 and leave true horror alone. It reminds me of those shirts I used to see in the eighties, proclaiming; `It's a (insert nationality here) thing, you wouldn't understand.' And most of you don't. The writing was lackluster? How so, since most of it was lifted from Lovecraft's stories, and most people agree that he was an original, intense, and incredible author. I concur. I have seen hundreds of movies based on the 'chase scene' plot line, many of which become blockbusters (The Lethal Weapon franchise comes to mind) and noone ever seems to complain about that, but base a horror movie on the same kind of plot line, and suddenly it's 'thin'. And dozens of people criticize the main character `I didn't like him.' Since when is it necessary for the main character to kowtow to the audience? Angel Heart, a classic horror movie in the Satanic vein boasted one of the most unlikeable heroes around, yet received critical acclaim. All of the gore was explained if you took the time to notice the incredible details of the film; the old drunk was skinned alive because the Dagonites wore human skins during their ceremonies. Small details, such as the townspeople 'talking' in whale and fish noises, combined with one creepy setting after another, combined with the evil 'siren of the sea' shedding her blouse every other scene kept my eyes glued to the set. Yes, I was not lucky enough to screen this jem in a real theater, but this DVD has a place of honor in my collection. My mind didn't wander once, as I found it doing while watching crap like Jeepers Creepers. On top of all of that, the movie has history, and that counts for a ton. So for all you critics out there who didn't like it, that's fine, it just goes to prove that lack of taste is a worldwide phenomenon, and is not just localized in Alabama. Oh, and one more thing, It's a Horror Movie thing, you wouldn't understand.