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8/10
Provoked? Good. (contains likely spoiler about 50 Shades of Grey)
27 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I saw Lars Von Trier's Nymphomaniac.

Provoked? Good. Because that is something Von Trier does even better than make films. And he is very good at making films.

Few modern filmmakers seem to treasure their relationship to provocation as Lars Von Trier. He seems to welcome every critic who doesn't/ can't/ won't "get" his movies as part of the discussion that his movies provoke. It seems Nymphomaniac has engendered a predictable range of reactions – outrage looming large above them. But Von Trier is ahead of the knee-jerk outrage.

He doesn't mean to provoke merely to peddle predictable soft porn. There is a further level of outrage to experience within the sexual tales told by Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg) to the seemingly sexless Seligman (Stellan Skarsgard), as each tale gets broken down into metaphor by the latter to the frustration of the former. Telling the tales of her sexual misadventures, Joe seeks to prove to Seligman how awful a person she is, but Seligman happily makes the effort to frame her amorality within metaphors from the worlds of politics, music… and even fishing, all in an effort to re-humanize her story, after a fashion.

In this way, Von Trier circumvents expectations… unless you know your Von Trier – he seems to revel in developing characters in impossible situations that test the limits of their hearts and their faith – even questioning the existence of "hearts" and "faith" given the often corrosive realities of human existence. Even more "outrageous" is how often he does this with a demonstrable sense of humor.

In Nymphomaniac… and I want you to be shocked by this… there are naked people. Mostly when having sex. Yup. People have sex in a movie called Nymphomaniac.

At times in the film, it seems that Von Trier is shoving the realities of the "sexual revolution" of the mid-20th century right in our faces, for its' good (empowerment) and bad (see Spider-Man's line about what comes with "Great Power" – hint: it's not as fun).

You could try boiling down his cinematic statement to simple misogyny, but, as with the heroines of Melancholia or Dogville or any number of Von Trier vehicles, he respects Joe too much to have her disintegrate on camera for no reason. Joe's sexual acts are justified in their moments (Von Trier (via Skarsgard's Seligman) even questions how a scornful society would feel about her actions were they performed by a man).

Joe insists she is not after redemption in Seligman's eyes, but continues to tell her tales. There is a conflicted motivation in the telling of her tales that I believe Von Trier meant to mirror the conflicting motivations of any audience going to see it.

Want to come see this movie to see Stacy Martin (as the young Joe) and Charlotte Gainsbourg get naked? Yup, that's there, but you'll also have to see them confronted by a family Joe's actions helped destroy (Uma Thurman plays the jilted wife and mother) or confronting racism in the context of sexuality (as the adult Joe seeks to proposition two African men with whom she wants, essentially, a non-verbal tryst).

Want to see the lusty Joe confronted with an actual "romantic" relationship? Done, but she dotes on the perfunctory Jerome (played for much of the film by an oddly accented Shia LaBoeuf), who is a sexually disconnected mess, try as he might. He is beneath her, judging her sexuality while struggling to embrace and envelop it, to no avail. She seems drawn to him over and over, in a disconnected, puzzling way at times.

Looking for an excuse for Joe's extreme behavior in a damaged upbringing? Also done, but the damage is a damage perhaps not unfamiliar to many in the audience – no abuse in the form of horrific beatings or being locked away in a cellar dungeon, or as a "Flower in the Attic". Nope, just an emotionally unavailable mom (Connie Nielsen) caught up in games of solitaire and a dad (Christian Slater) with which she bonds over their mutual love of the forest. (Sadly, we also witness with some grim detail her ordeal as she watches her father dying in a hospital room) Now if Von Trier is so interested in subverting and dodging expectations, throwing up notable bits of ugly with seductive beauty (including some typically beautiful cinematography by Manuel Alberto Claro (who shot the GORGEOUS Melancholia for Von Trier)), why engage those expectations of titillation or romantic escapism or even emotional connection at all? Well… if nothing I've said sells you, consider this: The film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey is set to hit theaters and do big things (presumably, based on the book). Its' casting has been scrutinized and promoted vigorously.

The fix is in for this "erotic romance" novel to be a big hit. Its' young heroine enters a relationship with a powerful businessman who is very into BDSM. Apparently (according to the Wikipedia entry), she eventually "escapes" from that relationship by novels' end, but (SPOILER ALERT) the film is the first in a (you guessed it) trilogy.

In Nymphomaniac, Joe willingly enters a BDSM arrangement with K (Jamie Bell), an arrangement which ends as soon as actual sex enters the picture, and which has immediately destructive consequences in Joe's life.

Yes, Von Trier is rubbing your noses in the conflicted mess of sexuality as it has manifested through the history of cinema, confronting you with a story with sex at its' center, and messy, confusing, wild emotions all around.

People will probably be more comfortable watching Fifty Shades. And that's what Von Trier is concerned about (even as he embraces the contradictions): the commoditizing of sexuality; the reduction of its' reality into a glossed over stereotype.

That's a stereotype that Von Trier dares to exploit and explode at the same time. There will be no Nymphomaniac Volume Three.
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Go Goa Gone (2013)
7/10
Go to Go Goa Gone
19 May 2013
Over the past ten years, the description "Bollywood horror film" is becoming less rare, especially as Indian film distributors make more attempts to exploit international markets.

There has been a translation barrier to cross in that regard, however, by which I do not mean just the Hindustani language, but a film language and a cinematic mode so intimately tied in to the popular music culture, that it seemed (to foreign eyes) to turn even genres like action and science fiction into sprawling musicals.

This is my second Bollywood horror watching venture, following 2003's Bhoot (which starred Ajay Devgan and Urmila Matondkar). When I first saw Bhoot, a ghost/ exorcism horror film, I supposed that director Ram Gopal Varna was inspired by American horror films like The Exorcist and Rosemary's Baby. I had not yet seen Takashi Shimizu's Ju-On: the Grudge, but once I had, I saw its influence all over the set design as well as other aspects of the film.

Bhoot, while not the first Bollywood horror film, marked a trend of Indian horror filmmakers joining something like a common culture of international cinematic horror creators, finding modes that would find greater international success.

So now, here comes Go Goa Gone, which has been (aptly) described as a zombie (horror) comedy, although, clearly, Raj Nidimoru and Krishna D.K. have seen Shaun of the Dead, which nearly makes this a ZomRomCom.

The movie mostly focuses on a couple of hapless stoner/ cubicle dwellers, Luv (Vir Das) and Hardik (Kunal Khemu), a pairing not unlike that of Shaun of the Dead's Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, especially since Luv is the more ambitious of the two, particularly on the romantic front, and he begins the film conflicted about the next step in his ongoing relationship with Priyanka (like Shaun and his commitment problems in SotD. When he makes the decision to "clean up his act" and stop smoking (one presumes tobacco AND pot) and drinking to propose to his girl, it ends badly. When Luv and Hardik's far more responsible and slightly more successful roommate Bunny (Anand Tiwari) gets the opportunity to go to a business seminar at a luxurious resort in the West India state of Goa, Hardik exploits the trip as an opportunity to help his friend Luv get over being rejected and... well, to party.

Once there, Luv encounters Luna (Pooja Gupta), and decides to crash a party (allegedly run by Russian Mafia) on an island off the coast of Goa in an effort to get together with her, dragging his buddies Hardik and Bunny along for the ride (the island party scenario also seems to be a call back to the proto-Bollywood horror, Gumnaan (1966), the movie that the West mainly knows from the song "Jaan Pehechan Ho," which made its' way into 2001's Ghost World, and a beer commercial in 2012).

Of course, this scenario ends up in the film's zombie outbreak, precipitated, in this case, by an experimental combo of drugs disseminated at the party. The guys wake up in different areas of island, eventually finding each other, and hordes of infected/ undead folk with a hunger for the living.

Eventually, they run into a couple of folks they take as Russian Mafia types, one of whom, Boris (Saif Ali Khan) has taken rather nicely to his new role as zombie killer (he first turns up, armed to the teeth, and blowing the hordes away, saying "I kill dead people" (which, somehow, I can only take as a zombie movie take off on M. Night Shyamalan's line from The Sixth Sense).

Poola Gupta's Luna is appealing and modern enough, though more of a throwback to traditional Bollywood heroines (i.e., it's less than clear that she will end up with any of the film's heroes).

It does take a while to get to the zombie killing action (a full 40 minutes out of 111), but the movie is not without the requisite inventiveness needed in the zombie action set pieces (as zombies are dispatched by having flashlights shoved sown their throats, and by shotgun blasts to the head, followed in slow motion), and Das, Khemu and Tiwari have comedic chops that are up to the task; Saif Ali Khan's Boris is something like a Desi/ Russian take on Bruce Campbell's Ash, and fulfills that role very well.

Raj and DK offer characters who, like those in SotD and Zombieland, are very aware of the zombies of (Western) pop culture (though Hardik wonders if his Christian cross would be an effective weapon against the zombs). It may be a bit derivative (i.e., the scene where Luv is convinced that they can get around a zombie horde by blending in), and there are some plot points that seem to go nowhere at all, but the film was a welcome diversion, and a reasonably original entry into the zombie horror genre (and this at a time when we seem overloaded with same on TV and in feature films).

Also welcome were the references to modern office culture (a meme about learning from experience, linked to a poster with Steve Jobs' face on it, gets twisted into a recurring line about survival) and sociopolitical ideas (as when Hardik, less than helpfully, offers that these undead were created by "globalization").

I'm not too sure how this film is playing in the Indian movie-going culture, but horror fans of any nationality, particularly fans of horror comedy, will have plenty to enjoy here.
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8/10
Another mind-bending bit of speculative fiction from Shane Carruth
5 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Shane Carruth, we missed you.

Nine years ago, he brought us his intelligent, inventive and tightly-budgeted time-travel fable, Primer, which told a tale of suburban inventor hopefuls who stumble upon a discovery which begins to unravel their lives.

Now, Shane Carruth comes back with an equally indie science/ speculative fiction story in which a couple (Amy Seimetz and Carruth) come together in the aftermath of a drug-induced bit of thievery, which launches them on a frightening voyage of obsession, paranoia, fear and, perhaps, self-re-discovery.

Carruth's new film, Upstream Color, finds him working in a similar mode to the great Terrence Malick. Like Malick, he employs a mode of storytelling where dialogue, sound and visuals combine in abstracts, allowing viewers to piece together the tale from intriguing pieces.

The film begins with a man (Thiago Martins) disposing of a paper chain in a dumpster.

We come to discover that he has taken an interest in certain plants so as to cultivate a certain variety of worm-like creature.

In his yard, school-age boys seem to perform a strange repetitive ritual.

Kris (Seimetz) has a job as an art director. Soon she is assaulted outside a bar (in one of a number of unsettling scenes), and force-fed a capsule.

The scenes that follow find her handing over large amounts of cash to a mysterious man, who directs her to hand-write a certain book page by page.

This episode eventually ends at a pig farm operated by a man (Andrew Sensenig), who seems to operate a sideline of sampling (and using) ambient sounds (i.e., power line hums). He uses these samples for, among other things, harvesting bugs from the earth using low-end vibrations.

Following the theft and its' equally bizarre aftermath, Kris encounters the young professional Jeff (Carruth), who, like herself, seems to have dealt with a recent loss.

Spelling out anymore here will have us wandering straight into the spoilerdome, sooo... let's not do that.

Suffice to say that Upstream Color is even more of a head trip than Primer. It's a very thoughtful meditation on the often painful cycles of growth and evolution. And it's a beautiful looking and sounding film as well (Carruth also composed the music).

One more thought - while Shane Carruth's new work finds him working in something like a Malick-esque mode, I hope we will find him working more like current Malick (with a film every year or so) rather than the Terrence Malick who directed Badlands (1973), Days of Heaven (1978), The Thin Red Line (1998(!)), and then took a further six years to make The New World (2005).

In other words... I REALLY hope we won't have to wait another nine years for his next work.

In the meantime, watch this little indie masterpiece.
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7/10
The Best of the Iron Man films so far; Mandarin obsessives stay home
4 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
The Mandarin was going to be a problem.

Among Iron Man's rogues gallery, the Mandarin was going to be, perhaps, the toughest one to update. The visual basis for the character seemed to be the Fu-Manchu mold; his connection to the Cold War world of the original Iron Man was also problematic, but the Asian stereotype thing was either going to be straight up offensive, or mock-ably silly. The comics writers seemed to manage (just) to breathe new life into the character a bit, by choosing to develop the old character tropes in the light of a better understanding of Eastern cultures (sufficiently so for an ongoing comics series, anyway). But how do you bring a story arc with a character with that complicated a genesis to a major feature film series in the modern day without turning the story into an outdated Sax Rohmer adventure?

Bringing in Shane Black, who turned in a very good modern noir/ mystery/ comedy with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and Ben Kingsley, who plays a Mandarin, that those who hold the original Stan Lee (Larry Lieber?) and Don Heck creation as beyond reproach, may actually hate; too bad, because the pieces of the Mandarin that are thrown to the fire for Iron Man 3, fuel a cracking good storyline involving another Marvel villainous institution (AIM) and Warren Ellis' contribution to the mythos, the Extremis virus.

The film is framed as a confessional, as Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) recalls (as much as he can, that is) a very drunken Millennial New Year's Party (pre-super-armor), where he picks up researcher Maya Hansen (Rebecca Hall), and is approached by AIM's Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce), whose AIM proposal is dismissed by Stark. His brush-off of Killian and playboy tryst with Hansen will come back to haunt him...

... in "the present day", where Stark suffers restless insomnia and panic attacks following the mind-blowing cosmicness of his foray with aliens and gods in The Avengers. He tries to deal with it by endlessly tinkering with Iron Man armors, which friend Rhodey (Don Cheadle) and girlfriend Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) both agree is not helping. Also not helping are the exploits of The Mandarin (Kingsley), an apparent international terrorist in something like the Bin Laden mode, but, Stark notes, who talks like "a baptist preacher." When The Mandarin's bombings end up harming his longtime pal and head of security, Happy Hogan (the returning Jon Favreau, director of the 1st two Iron Man films), Stark decides to take things personally and impulsively issues a threat to the terrorist leader.

This impulsive act, unfortunately, directly moves Stark and his beloved Pepper (also Stark Industries' CEO) into the bull's-eye, and the ninety minutes that follow show us Stark as Iron Man, the hero, but also as a vulnerable human struggling to strategize his way out of an increasingly horrific situation.

Along the way, it was a complete delight to find an Iron Man film so entertaining and recognizably coming from the creator of the offbeat Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (and, for that matter, Lethal Weapon).

Black has a knack, an affection for offbeat, unbalanced heroes, and Downey's Iron Man is certainly the most unbalanced of Avengers' class of 2012 (okay… MAYBE the Hulk, but his mood shifts are more on/ off switch volatile than kooky). Black's film also succeeds as a stand-alone that effortlessly exploits the larger Marvel cinematic universe, using Stark's Avengers experiences as a jumping-off point for some further (though never ponderous) soul searching. This is the smartest and funniest Iron Man (stand alone) film yet, and certainly among the smartest and most daring re-writes of a major comics property since Ang Lee's Hulk.

The difference? Ang Lee's film ended up confused and confusing, losing its' great green superstar in the process. Iron Man 3 leaves us a resilient and smart franchise with the chutzpah we should expect from a superhero.

And, naturally, you're staying till after the credits, right?
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2/10
Move on, rent Team America, nothing to see here... (possible spoiler)
12 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
The other day, Airplane was showing on cable, and I was reminded of the freewheeling absurdity that marked so many other fine Zucker comedy productions, like Top Secret, Hot Shots, Hot Shots Part Deux, Airplane II, The Naked Gun films, Police Squad... and then I remember I sat in a theater to watch this un-comic misfire built on shaky premises. It's a comedy that "doesn't get it." Looking for a hilarious send-up of pompous liberal overreaching that is actually funny? See "Team America: World Police". Among the targets skewered in that hilarious film were Michael Moore, Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn and Matt Damon... oh, but here's something that comedy had that American Carol is missing: It took equal opportunity potshots at pomposity of all kinds; the pomposity that leads us into pointless wars AS WELL AS the pomposity that puts blinders on to ignore oppression and unchecked aggressions. This, however, is a Zucker comedy with a chip on its' shoulder, taking careful satirical aim at a pomposity that doesn't exist. In this film, Michael "Malone"'s anti-war stance is equated with support of the institution of slavery, and everybody on the left is envisioned as mindless indoctrinators in the service of the enemies of America; conversely, everybody on the right is seen as downtrodden saviors of American ideals, bravely (and, unironically) fighting on against the evil liberal conspiracy. Zucker tries to re-envision the religio-social criticism of greed and selfishness in Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" as a neo-McCarthy-ite screed against perceived anti-patriotism set during the 4th of July, with the "spirits" of General Patton (Kelsey Grammar) (Independence Day present, I presume), and a "Spirit of Death" (4th of July future? What's that say about patriotism?) played by country singer Trace Adkins. And the "Spirit of 4th of July Past"? Presumably, that would be George Washington (Jon Voight), who in a "hilarious scene" (is this a SPOILER?), brings Michael "Malone" (the late Chris Farley's brother) on a tour of the church where he was inaugurated… and the fresh wreckage of the twin towers. Remember when comedies like Zoolander had to edit out any sight of the WTC Towers for fear of the distraction of a reminder of something so sad and serious in the middle of a comedy? Yeah, I guess Zucker forgot. Please watch Airplane, the Hot Shots movies, the Naked Gun movies, Police Squad or Top Secret for a good laugh. See this film if you need sad reminders that this was among the very last times we got to see Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper on screen.
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Killers (2010)
3/10
"Real people in the real world" should really spend their money renting Grosse Pointe Blank instead
13 June 2010
First, the good things: Rolfe Kent's music was very good through much of this film. The setting of the early part of the film (presumably largely shot in Nice, France) was quite lovely to see. Other than that, well... this movie was painful. The chemistry between Heigl and Kutcher was limited to her giggling at the first sight of him with his shirt off, and even then felt forced. I was feeling bad for all the actors involved, but least for Kutcher and Heigl who seemed committed to forcing a laugh out of intensely dull witted dialogue in situations which have been worked into much better films (i.e., Mr. and Mrs. Smith, True Lies, Grosse Pointe Blank). And by the way, "jessie-36," I, Michael Phillips and you are all "real people in the real world" (so I would believe having not met you or Michael Phillips so far as I know). You are also, guess what, now a critic. The destruction of newspapers as a valid critical forum has more to do with corporate economics than anything else. Celebrating the demise of the local newspaper sounds like so much whistling past the graveyard rather than a people's overthrow of those awful, awful critics. So, I'm afraid "jessie-36" that you are a critic (you should be if you're going to theaters to "watch over 100 movies a year" for free (!)). Based on your review of Killers, however, you may just not be a very thoughtful one.
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Dance Flick (2009)
6/10
Dance Flick is a pleasant and hilarious surprise, AND a long-awaited return to Wayans' form
25 May 2009
When I first saw the preview for this one, I found myself hoping against hope that the family that brought us I'm Gonna Get You, Sucka and In Living Color would step up to offer us a funny movie after White Chicks and Little Man. Honestly, I never bothered to watch those films, as the trailers were so screamingly unfunny to me.

And now I find myself horrified at the average rating of 3.3 out of ten on IMDb(as of opening weekend) for Dance Flick, which I consider a loooong awaited return to form for Keenan Ivory Wayans, and a revelation of the rebirth of that satirical spark from the earliest days of In Living Color. In fact, Dance Flick even tops all modern attempts at satire by Zucker proteges Friedberg and Seltzer (Disaster Movie,Meet the Spartans, Epic Movie, Date Movie) and even David Zucker himself (though, curiously, it seemed to me that Shawn and Marlon Wayans were in his orbit for an over decade long meltdown, including his involvement in the Scary Movie series and, finally, last year's unfunny and politically confused An American Carol).

Here's reason # 1 why Dance Flick tops it: it shows every sign that it was made by adults who actually watched the movies they're lampooning in their entireity (Gasp! Imagine that!). It's not surprising to me that a number of the more negative reviews on here ignore jokes based on movies like Little Miss Sunshine or Twilight, since those gags seemed to have been written by people who sat and watched more than the trailers for those films.

Reason #2: A good cast given a chance to shine. David Alan Grier's Showgirls parody was a great use of DAG's singing talents. Yes, he had to act through a fat suit for most of this film (ala Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy), but his performance so made up for his participation in Zucker's Carol.

Essence Atkins is hilarious as Charity, the student mom who hangs her baby carrier up in her locker, baby intact, telling the waif to "breathe through the vents."

Shoshanna Bush plays Megan White, who makes a bizarre choice for her Julliard audition, and whose mom seems on the edge of a "tragic" fate (in one of the funnier sequences in the film).

Damon Wayans, Jr., however, is a revelation as a chip off a really funny block. He plays Thomas Uncles (if you can't sit well with that joke, please go rent I'm Gonna Get You Sucka and then we'll talk), a young dancer in a street crew who's also a starry-eyed med school hopeful in what's described as a "Cosby sweater." Damon Jr. shows acting and humor chops equal to any in the previous generation of Wayans, and hopefully gets the chance to work on something at least this funny again.

Reason # 3: The director. Damien Dante Wayans demonstrates the difference between throwing a grab bag of lame material at the screen versus an attempt at layers of jokes.

Reason # 4: Continuity. This film, finally, feels like a product produced by people responsible for Hollywood Shuffle and I'm Gonna Get You Sucka. I'd gladly watch this film again, right alongside the previous two. Each of the films take out the satirical knives to point out the silliness inherent in a lot of pop cinema, but with affection.

Reason # 5: The jokes are funny. The movie is chock-a-block with well-timed gags, right down to the set decoration and costuming. Yes, there is evidence of jokes about Hairspray and Ray that are barely used, and the film is far from perfect. But the difference is in the funny. This is, and is so worth your time.
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2/10
Has anyone who commented on this film ever seen a horror film before?
10 May 2006
I'm sorry, folks, but this is a bad effort all around. If you enjoy this film, I shudder to think what Lifetime Network or Sci-Fi Channel cheapie will be the nest to send chills down your spine. Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek have collected their paychecks, so I suppose some good came out of this, but man oh man was this bad. There is an art to the timing of both horror and comedy, and, unfortunately, I believe Courtney Solomon has confused one for the other and has not realized his mistake. I mean, come on! Every time there was a back turned in frame, here came a hand and a nervous start coupled with a musical sting. EVERY TIME! R.L. Stine had more subtlety and HE WAS WRITING FOR TWELVE YEAR OLDS! I kept wishing that William Friedkin (of "The Exorcist") would show up on the set of THIS film and fire a few rounds off. At least it would have kept folks awake! Sorry, no kind words for this one, except that it is very much an independent production, which I guess proves that Dimension isn't the only guilty party putting out substandard horror cheapies... just the biggest...
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Brilliant stuff, but confirms my thought that the movie was better served shown as a whole
7 August 2004
Quentin Tarantino closes his epic of betrayal and revenge with a slightly more meditative film, a pretty far cry from the action packed bloodbath that comprised Volume 1. Uma Thurman returns as `The Bride' a.k.a. `Black Mamba' a.k.a…. but that would be telling. Anyway, she's back from being left for dead at the altar, to take revenge on the trio of killers left on her hit list: Daryl Hannah as Elle Driver (California Mountain Snake), Michael Madsen as Budd (Sidewinder, also Bill's brother), and David Carradine as the titular `Bill.' Along the way, we're treated to a further salute to eastern cinema, in flashbacks to Black Mamba's training under the querulous Pai Mei (thirty year Hong Kong vet Gordon Liu, playing his second role in the Kill Bill story, and reprising yet another classic recurring character from Asian cinema (like Sonny Chiba's Hatori Hanzo in Volume 1)). What emerges from the whole is a story about love, redemption and the possibility of moving on from the ways of violence and war into, perhaps, an uncertain future. And Volume 2 confirms my thought that the movie was better served shown as a whole. Brilliant stuff.
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Drink deep of the egg yolks, eat of the abundant nachos and, while you're at it, build yourself a cake
7 August 2004
Husband and wife Jared and Jerusha Hess developed the nerdy Preston, Idaho character first seen in their 2003 short `Peluca,' with Jon Heder (one of a pair of identical twins and star of the original short as `Seth') and a cast of largely unknowns in this hilarious ode to high school loserdom. Napoleon lives with his grandma (Sandy Martin) and brother Kip (Aaron Ruell, equally hilarious) and leads a directionless life full of arcane interests in mythical creatures like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and the `Liger' (half-lion, half-tiger). He is (rather aggressively) an outcast at school (and is frequently bullied for it, which never deters him). His brother, long out of high school and equally directionless, spends his time looking for love on internet chat rooms. When his grandma takes a spill, his uncle Rico (Jon Gries) comes to babysit the pair, though he is equally adrift in life, living out of an old Dodge van and making `sweet' videos of his football passing technique (sans receiver). At school, Napoleon finds friends in the new kid, Pedro Sanchez (Efren Ramirez) and the door-to-door glamour shot entrepreneur, Deb (Tina Majorino). Eventually Napoleon's brother is roped into Rico's door-to-door plasticware sales business, and Pedro ends up running against popular girl Summer (Haylie Duff, sister of Hilary) for class president. And this is just some of what goes on in this fall down in spasms funny film. The Hesses and Jon Heder have put together a comedy at once sharper, funnier and more heartfelt than similar products from Wes Anderson (think Bottle Rocket or Rushmore but much more consistently hilarious).
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Documentary? Satire? Propaganda? Deadly important? Yes.
7 August 2004
Is it a documentary? Is it a satire? Is it propaganda? Is it possible that this film can forego all the labels to triumph critically with over $100 million in domestic box office? YES! Michael Moore opens the floodgates of suspicions surrounding the suspiciously appointed Bush administration: suspicions of connections to big oil, big black ops, big voter fraud and big terrorism. It's not a timeless movie; it's a film that's right on time. The award winning Bowling for Columbine was a more balanced work, it's true, but Moore has a vast and irresistible web to weave, or at least to reveal, in the Bush administrations' war mongering, oil hoarding shenanigans. It's passionate and it's about time.
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Saved! (2004)
"This is not a weapon, you idiot."
7 August 2004
Jena Malone stars in this satire of modern Christian youth culture and other forms of possible religious hypocrisy, as she plays a teenager, who, worried about her friend's likely homosexuality, decides to give up her virginity to save his soul. Unfortunately she winds up pregnant and must conceal her circumstance from her classmates, especially the uber-bible-thumping head of the school's top clique/ prayer-group, played by Mandy Moore. Eventually the two come to conflict warring for the affections of the local Christian skateboarding hottie (Patrick Fugit). Meanwhile Macaulay Culkin plays Moore's wheelchair bound and agnostic brother (in one of his best turns as an 'adult' actor) and Eva Amurri is the school's bad girl who develops a relationship with Culkin's character. Wickedly funny, but never mean or less than heartfelt. As Jena Malone's Mary points out when Mandy Moore's Hilary Faye throws a bible at her in a fit of pique, 'This is not a weapon, you idiot.' Indeed.
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Cremaster 3 (2002)
And don't forget to stop in the museum's gift shop as you leave the theater
5 May 2004
Curiosity seekers… seek no more. Pretentious and `arty' could describe it… but I have to say I thought some very good work went into the production design and music. Less such into the "story". It's the top of the Matthew Barney pyramid of art films, culminating in a three hour orgy of celtic mythology, masonic legend, truly retch inducing reverse dental surgery, hardcore punk bands, beautiful models with masonic symbol pasties, double amputee model Aimee Mullins as a catwoman and with clear acrylic prosthetic legs, artist Richard Serra tossing molten vaseline against the walls of the Guggenheim, a sojourn up the elevator shafts of the Chrysler Building, a demolition derby in same's lobby… shall I go on? All the above said, the movie is still truly what it advertised itself to be. The same couldn't be said of many truly awful commercial films, i.e., "Gods and Generals" or "Gigli." You get the broken promises of entertainment and/ or involving historical drama. With C3, you get a chariot race with zombie horses, covered in blankets with the `Cremaster 3' crest emblazoned on them. And don't forget to stop in the museum's gift shop as you leave the theater. Thank you.
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Gigli (2003)
This kind of pain can't ever be good
5 May 2004
Alright, time to join the rat race choir on this one... Yeah, I know, picking on the Bennifer in its' time was considered fine sport, but to any who dare to defend this film, let me posit this: To criticize this film as crappy, cliched and ill considered all around, is not necessarily the same thing as enjoying (or defending) the excesses of dopey tabloid TV. The pity of this film was never that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were involved (well... o.k., maybe Affleck). The pity was really the very poor scripting and generally bad creative decision making. To spell it out simply: Ben Affleck is the mob thug who never actually kills or hurts but perhaps one person. That person is the stereotypically Rain Man-esque `sweetly retarded man' stereotype played almost well enough by Justin Bartha. Bravo. To add to the stupidity, J-Lo is the `lesbian assassin' who likewise never hurts or kills anyone, or kisses or makes love to a woman. She does, however, read fashionably Eastern philosophy books, and can talk her way out of any fight, which explains why mob thugs bring her in to do the job Gigli (Affleck) cannot. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a film dumber than any bag of hammers. Don't know if it's the worst ever, but, to paraphrase Kevin Murphy, this kind of pain can't ever be good.
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Thwarted families, homelessness in Tokyo and strange twists of fate...
1 May 2004
Director Satoshi Kon has concocted a little wonder of an animated film, a character based ensemble action comedy about thwarted families, homelessness in Tokyo and strange twists of fate. A loose knit trio of homeless companions (an alcoholic ex-bike rider, a teenage fugitive runaway and a castoff drag queen) find a baby on top of a trash heap at Christmas, and find themselves caring for the child while hunting down her parents. Warm, funny and as action-packed as many an anime (with hilarious action set pieces), this one's a charmer. Sure, it's always possible to do these kind of things in live action (more or less) but thank God we have a filmmaker of Kon's vision applying his ample animation skills to stories like this. It ain't all cardfighters, bounty hunters and grim vampire killers. Sometimes, it's people, too. (not that there are anything wrong with cardfighters, bounty hunters and grim vampire killers... well, o.k., maybe cardfighters)
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Secret Window (2004)
WARNING! THIS WHOLE COMMENTS PAGE MAY BE ONE HUGE SPOILER (including this comment...)
1 May 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Johnny Depp is Steven King's latest literary doppelganger, as a successful but addled, and recently cuckolded, author who must also deal with a dangerously disgruntled writer (John Turturro, vocally very like DeNiro's "Cape Fear" hick, but visually like a cast member from "Witness" or "Kingpin"), who arrives on Depp's doorstep with angry allegations of plagarism. Depp again gives a very watchable performance, as does Turturro, in a generally effective psychological thriller from writer/director David Koepp (Stir of Echoes). Koepp finds appealingly odd rhythms of Stephen King plot and language in this adaptation, including odd echoes of the themes of infidelity and plagarism. It does fall apart in its' important last part a bit, but the script is witty and clever enough, and Depp so good, that you kind of forget. Oh yeah. And... (MAJOR SPOILER! WARNING! AVERT YOUR EYES NOW!)... what a corny ending...
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Action packed, intelligent and daring to be downbeat.
1 May 2004
Refitting the anti-consumerist messages of the old Dawn of the Dead to fit the jumpy, hyperkinetic, action packed template of recent horror action exercises (even stealing increased zombie speed and a certain graininess from 28 Days Later) turns out not to have been such a bad idea after all. Of course, grabbing from the most able and/ or typically underrated of b-list actors (Ving Rhames, Sarah Polley, Mekhi Pfifer and Jake Weber from TV's American Gothic) and keeping a keen focus on the characters of this remake doesn't hurt either. Rookie feature director Zack Snyder ably exploits a witty, canny rewrite of George Romero's classic of Zombie holocaust run amok in and around a shopping mall. The look here is less day-glo than the frequently well lit gore of 1978's Dawn, but cinematographer Matthew Leonetti is put to much better use with his dark frames here than in the reprehensible "The Butterfly Effect." Action packed, intelligent and daring to be downbeat.
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Teacher's Pet (2004)
And Bob Barker would like to remind you... have your pet spayed or... uh, right...
1 May 2004
Nathan Lane voices a little blue dog who dresses up as a boy so he can go to school in this, the latest big screen version of a Disney Channel animated series (like their wonderful "Recess" film... uh, never mind...). The voice cast also boasts Jerry Stiller (in full-on shout mode, God bless him) and David Ogden Stiers (in perhaps his funniest voice performance). This one works as a witty and daring stylistic departure from Disney norm, perhaps outdoing even the much lauded "Lilo and Stitch" in that regard. Visual gags abound, taking several stylized shots at fellow "Disney icons" (i.e., Pinocchio, the Seven Dwarfs). In the big film story, Spot a.k.a. Scot follows his master and his master's clueless mom to Florida in his search for a mad scientist (voice of Kelsey Grammar) who has been trying to transform animals into people. Yup, that's right. He's no longer just going to dress the part. He's getting the operation! And transsexual/ gay subtexting? Fuhgeddaboutit.
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Pretty standard Sandler: Rob Schneider in a small role and lots of walrus vomit (but racist...?)
1 May 2004
Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore ply their chemistry well on screen for a second time, with this film that a friend of mine has described as `Memento: The Rom Com.' Barrymore is a car accident survivor who has lost her ability to form short term memories, so that every morning is, for her, the morning before the accident. Enter Sandler, who, for purposes of this movie, is the sitcom version of a marine veterinarian: he barely ever seems to have to show up for work, leaving him with plenty of time to woo Barrymore's accident victim, struggling to prove their relationship to her addled mind every day. (And, responding to the racism charge... yeah, it's true, this film was not fleshing out very deep or different characters out of its' Hawaiian cast... (Rob Schneider himself wasn't that deep) but everybody was pretty cardboard and barely above stereotypical. Offensively so? In the eye of the beholder, true, but I didn't go to this film to take my first notes for a history of Polynesian cultures... or veterinary medicine, for that matter...) After that, it's pretty normal Sandler, you know, Rob Schneider in a small role and lots of walrus vomit
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Ladies and gentlemen… naked hippies! Enjoy!
1 May 2004
Ladies and gentlemen… naked hippies! Enjoy! Okay, that said, I have to say this documentary, a sequel to filmmaker Robb Moss's 1978 documentary, "River Dogs," catches up with his fellow former Colorado river guides in the present day. It's been compared to Michael Apted's "7Up" series, but it plays more like a real life "Big Chill," minus the soap operatics of a full-blown reunion, but, alas, complete with (thankfully few) existential musings on these fifty-somethings transitions from just-out-of-college wandering river rats, to successful politicians, fitness gurus and… well… river rats. Yeah, I know, life is just a long strange trip for the flower children turned `yuppie scum,' and yet, the film still comes off like a hilariously funny and occasionally sad little story about human beings. Go figure.
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Say it with me... "SACKBUTT"...
1 May 2004
Tom Hanks leads a great ensemble cast in this Coen Brothers remake of the classic Ealing comedy. The Coens attempt to recast the Britishness of the original with American eccentrics, and it comes off rather well. Hanks is Professor Goldthwait Higginson Dorr, at first glance a Southern dandy, but, in fact, a man with equal weaknesses for grandiose criminal enterprises and the classics, particularly Edgar Allan Poe. He rents a room in the house of the elder church woman and widow, Mrs. Munson (Irma P. Hall), under the pretense of needing a place to rehearse a quintet of musicians on period instruments in her cellar. These are, in fact, his gang (including inside man Gawain McSam (Marlon Wayans), ex-South Vietnamese tunnel rat `The General' (Tzi Ma), demolitions expert (and I.B.S. sufferer) Garth Pancake (J.K. Simmons) and your basic classic lunkhead Lump Hudson (Ryan Hurst)). The plot this time involves a vault full of money, a riverboat casino, a tunnel, various explosives, and even a sackbutt. Yes, a sackbutt. Much rests on how well you buy Hanks'performance, but he does it for me allright! The only misfit of the cast was the cusses-like-Steve-Buscemi-in-Fargo-gangsta played by Wayans, but in the end it all well fits the dark comic template of the original, with broad slapstick and large bits of typically strange and funny Coen-esque foreshadowings. It's no Fargo or Barton Fink, but it's no shame at all either.
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Yup. Anne Hathaway's a charmer alright.
1 May 2004
Yup, it's official: Anne Hathaway's a charmer. She came from some success on stage and in short lived series TV, before finding that break-out role in "The Princess Diaries" in 2001. Here, she plays a young girl in a magical kingdom (post-"Shrek" and "A Knight's Tale," of course) who has been raised under a fairy `gift'/ curse (put on her by a drunken Vivica A. Fox): she must do anything she's told, whether it's shoplifting, fleeing arrest, freezing (in mid-air, after the shouted law-enforcement command), or kicking ogre butt, Matrix style. Derivative, sure, but with its' heart and wit in the right place (that would be on the clever page from writers Laurie Craig, Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith), and with a great little supporting cast (including Hugh Dancy, Cary Elwes, Joanna Lumley (the evil stepmom), Minnie Driver, Aidan McArdle (the elf who wants to be a… but that would be telling) Eric Idle, Steve Coogan (as the voice of a duplicitous anthropomorphic snake), Jennifer Higham, Lucy Punch (the requisite evil stepsisters) and Parminder Nagra (perhaps the only underused one present)), Ella is a winner. Oh, yeah, and the musical numbers... well, they were cute...
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Jersey Girl (2004)
Affleck stars! Smith directs and writes! AND FINALLY! A GOOD FILM!
1 May 2004
Kevin Smith has done it! He created a film with Ben Affleck in a starring role as a central protagonist that does not suck! In fact, it's quite good! (WELL, o.k., but Affleck was barely in "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back!" and, yes, Dogma was his best, but Linda Fiorentino was the major central protagonist there. Besides God I mean...) (please note the ommission of "Chasing Amy" among the films just listed. Yes, that was QUITE intentional). Affleck plays Ollie Trinke, a man left a widower and single father when his wife (Jennifer Lopez, also quite good for her short part) dies in childbirth. He raises his daughter, Gertie (Racquel Castro, when she turns seven) with the help of Grandpa Bart (George Carlin) in a New Jersey suburb, after he screws up his high paying publicist job in New York. Sure, when called upon to emote Affleck is usually awkward to watch, and the schmuck he essays here is nearly a repeat of the whiney guy from "Changing Lanes," but then, surprise! Kevin Smith's funny and touching script, combined with great performances by Castro, Carlin and Liv Tyler actually carry the film, and Affleck's Ollie even matures! Thank you, Kevin Smith! (O.K., in fact, dare I say, there is some likeable Affleck acting here…? Nah! Let's not ruin my rep…) (P.S., if anyone has seen my rep, please contact the Imdb. I've put posters up. Hopefully it will show...)
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A lurid tale from the inside of skate culture history
1 May 2004
Mark `Gator' Ragowski (later `Mark Anthony' briefly) rode his skateboarding skills to the heights of fame and success in the mid-to-late eighties. He was one of the giants of the sport's development from vertical skating in trespassed abandoned swimming pools to pop phenomenon ramp touring. Unfortunately, he just as quickly hit the skids as the sport changed styles to street skating, leaving him and his over-commercialized and suddenly unpopular `vert' world behind. While skaters like Tony Hawk made the adjustment and thrived even to the present day, Ragowski took a hard dive instead into substance abuse, briefly emerging from an alcoholic haze as a `born-again' skater, only to take a harder descent into violent sexual crime, landing him in prison for a 31-year term. A fascinating doc, exploring a lurid tale from a rarely seen culture (last explored in 2003's "Dogtown and Z-Boys"), with clips of Ragowski in his "glory" MTV/ Swatch tour days, as well as intimate peeks into backstage shenanigans on tour, and his frustrations in trying to move to a street style.
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See all three
1 May 2004
Lucas Belvaux's trilogy of films is meant to be taken as one multi-faceted unit, and indeed it is best viewed as such. The first (as I saw them), "On the Run," was a `thriller' with the main character, a convicted terrorist (Belvaux himself), escaped to settle scores and look up an old flame (Catherine Frot) who has settled down with a family. There we got our first glimpses of a relationship between the escapee and the drug-addicted wife (Dominique Blanc) of a down on his luck cop (Gilbert Melki), and the first hints of the events in this second film, a romantic comedy, "An Amazing Couple" ("Un couple épatant"). The comedy is about a fearfully hypochondriac husband (François Morel) and his loving wife (Ornella Muti (DeLaurentiis' "Flash Gordon"!)) who is driven to suspicion. The trilogy ties up with a character study (or `melodrama'), "After the Life," about Melki's cop and Blanc's drug-addled wife. The romantic comedy and `melodrama' work fine as stand alones, and are even enriched by the angles explored and explained by the other films. Only the thriller is really hobbled by it's involvement with the other interwoven stories. All three should be seen together, though. Or, as a friend recommended, maybe I should just watch Kieslowski's `Three Colors' trilogy instead…?
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