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Elysium (I) (2013)
1/10
Yay! Shaky Cam!
16 August 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Dear movie makers, you suck, the majority of you suck and you know why, you and your movies have sucked for the longest time and your audiences know it too. Shaky cam ISN'T the reason your movies suck, your movies would still suck even if you didn't use shaky cam because you probably think it's a cute cool effect (hint: it's not). Shaky cam does suck though and when you use it, good or bad you aren't doing your movie any favors.

It's sad that after all these years these movie makers just cant seem to fathom exactly why shaky cam sucks but I'll try to explain. When I watch a movie and the shaky cam starts up I am distracted by it so much that I start to pick on all the other flaws the movie has that I otherwise would have ignored because the movie maker has manged to immerse me in the fictional world they created. Which brings me to Elysium.

Elysium could have been a good movie but shaky cam in addition to other flaws makes this yet another movie that sucks to add to the crap pile. We've seen all these elements before in Sci-fi movies and Elysium certainly doesn't do any of them better. The biggest problem (besides the shaky cam (I rly hate shaky cam)) is that the whole story goes down the crapper at the end. It made no sense. Although Kruger was already established as a psycho there was no reason to "bring him back to life" and then go on a rampage other than yet another excuse to use more shaky cam. He kills Delacourt which had been established as the "Emperor Palpatine" of the "Not a Death Star but a Life Star" but then the movie ham-fistedly‎ tries to position her as someone who has realised the error of her ways in the last few seconds before she dies. It makes no sense. It would have made more sense for Kruger to realise the error of his ways and then kill her and that could have been achieved if this character was a bit different to begin with, like if they made him a neutral mercenary rather than a psycho, which made no sense either... see, this is what I think about when a movie starts using shaky cam, thanks shaky cam!
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1/10
Why does everyone constantly have sunlight on their faces???
11 April 2015
In every damn scene, in every location, even miles under the freaking sea, it looks stupid and is really distracting because all I could think about was that Bette Midler song from Beaches and the line "To never have sunlight on your face" which if in an alternate universe was part of the Sky Craptain soundtrack would be rewritten as "To ALWAYS have sunlight on your face". Now Beaches despite it being overrated by so many is relatively good and worth watching maybe once but I can't say the same for Sky Craptain and the World of Tomorrow. It is pure garbage of the smelliest kind. Avoid, it will give you eye cancer... and nose cancer.
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Neighbours (1985– )
1/10
If Neighbours was a food it would be a cyanide laced sewerage pie
19 July 2008
Boring one dimension characters, pathetic writing, recycled predicable story lines, I'm trying to figure out how a show this bad can stay on the air for so long, the only explanation I can come up with is UK audiences must love it, they are tad more retarded than Australian audiences so this would be a reasonable conclusion as nobody I know that I've spoken to here watches it.

People must think I'm exaggerating when I say this show is bad, I'm not, I myself didn't realise how bad it was until I was watching TV one afternoon, I didn't know what it was I was watching but I said to myself: "Man this show is even worse than Neighbours!" When the ad break finished I was somewhat bemused to find out that it actually was Neighbours, it was a repeat of an earlier episode.

Acting is terrible, but I'm not sure if it's due the actors themselves or the abysmal writing so I'm really not certain if I should feel sorry for them or be disgusted by them, though I have to say some of them look truly embarrassed to be there.

As I said the story lines are nothing but recycled predicable crap, you know the drill, boy meets girl, boy and girl flirt ad nauseam, boy kisses girl, girl fights with boy, girl breaks up with boy, rinse wash repeat, honestly the writers of this show should be blasted from a cannon into the sun… there's nothing original here.

OK so how to rate something as bad a s Neighbours, well I rated it one, only because you can't rate it any lower, I really wanted to rate it -1 for every year it's been on air, 20+ years of nothing but crap… I can't wait for this show to be axed just knowing it exists disturbs me on so many levels, I find it odd that some people say this show used to be good, it was never good!
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