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jayfril
Reviews
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
Matrix > Reloaded > Revolutions
like a computer virus, it just gets worse and worse.
lets relive matrix 1 again for a minute. this film was perfect in every sense. it spawned a whole new way movies were made. some films tried to rehash what the matrix had, but fell short. in part 1, you had a very sixties-esque, kung fu, sci-fi, action thriller. to every guy, that is a dream come true. you looked at the real world a little differently. you started to wonder if you were in the matrix yourself. scenes were more realistic and less fantasy which made it a different type of movie. the story had more twists and turns that made you sit at the edge of your seat wondering what was going to happen next. and what i liked the best about it...there were less scenes in zion.
i've watched matrix a countless amount of times which is why i give matrix 1 a 20/10
reloaded was, ehh, good. awesome action sequences, but it was more fantasy. you had a skyrocketting neo and an incredible highway chase scene. but what i didnt really care about this film was, the matrix didnt seem like a normal everyday world as it did in part 1. it seemed as if the only people in the matrix were agents or ones unplugged. there was less dialogue and explanation in part 2 until the very end when the architect drops a boatload of information on us. it lacked a good story like the first one and it lost that sixties-esque feel to it. sort of like batman 3 and 4 losing what tim burton perfected in batman 1.
matrix reloaded gets a 9/10 because i still think its an awesome action film. it would have gotten a 10 out of 10, but the scenes with zion in it had to be penalized.
as for revolutions...this movie was a complete waste of my time until the very last scene with agent smith. too much time was spent in zion and nearly any time spent in the matrix. and can you really call it the matrix anymore? it just seemed like a place for neo and agent smith to have a showdown. what happened to staying incognito around these all powerful agents? they seemed to lose there luster after each film. its like, you werent even nervous about neo facing these guys anymore. so the thriller factor of this film went out of the window. now neo is controller of his own and everyone elses destiny. great. so wouldnt you think most of the movie would focus on what neo has to do to destory the matrix (SPOILER!!!!!! which he doesnt)? no. instead you get to watch that dipsh*t from part 2 reload these machines that resemble the dockloaders from aliens a couple of times. the scenes with zion took up about 70% of the film. sorry, but i am no fan of zion. it sucks. but it does get better. there is a pretty cool duel with agent smith and neo at the end. pretty amazing and climatic. oh yea, the end sucks too. why? well, b/c everything neo was originally set out to do, doesnt happen. matrix is still in full effect and zion is in a bigger sh*t heave then it was before he showed up. aweful ending to a great movie and a satisfactory second film.
revolutions gets a 3/10. only reason i give this any points is b/c that fight with agent smith really was quite awesome.
Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)
Hopefully we don't have to hear about JC3 for another 23 years
someone should inform the producers and writers of Jeepers Crapers that if you want to make a franchise on this like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm St, Halloween, etc. etc. making a plot where this guy with wings feeds every 23 years isn't gonna fly. not unless you have jeepers creepers 5 filmed on the planet Mars. i didnt find this film good, nor entertaining. usually i'll give a film props if it was entertaining. but this movie was dark for about 95% of the movie and it all took place on a school bus. great plot vinny! whats part 3 gonna be about? howabout a rundown diner? at least then, the kids can drink some coffee to keep on their toes.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Thanks Ronny!
I thought Ronny Yu did a great job of meshing the two storylines together. He didn't reinvent any stories, followed the two movies guidelines well, and for people that never saw any of the other films, he helped them out by retelling each story which i thought was awesome. freddy had some classic one liners and jason had some brutal kills. all in all, i'm very satisfied with the film and looking for somekind of sequel - maybe with michael myers!
Head of State (2003)
ZzzzZzzzZzzzz
i'll try to be as brief as possible. don't watch this movie. it is crap. crap! crap! crap! crappity crap-crap! this movie is so crap, that if crap had to crap, it would be crappier than that crap. no lie, i'm usually one to defend a bad movie like kung pow or dude where's my car, but this movie was so stale, i had more fun driving to hollywood video than watching this.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
I'm baffled by the good reviews
Poor poor James Cameron. This director didn't know what the heck he was doing. what was up with arnold saying "talk to the hand" or putting on some elton john shades? this movie lacks originality, suspense, a hardcore edge to it, a good soundtrack, and in my personal opinion, i thought arnold was a jerk in this movie. you almost wanted him to self terminate at the end. after the first 15 minutes of this movie, my stomach started churning with the way they mutilated this great film. the way they overlooked the story of the first two and just decided to create an all new plot to this one. and don't expect this film to be a great trilogy, its gonna be sequel garbage now.
American Pie (1999)
Who want PIE!?
Ok, at first i wasn't going to reply to this movie. I felt that there was no reason to. But after seeing negative responses to this movie b/c of its crude nature, I had no other choice. This movie, in my opinion is the best comedy of the 90's. I remember when this movie first came out, I went to see this movie 3 times in the movie theater. I did't even see the Matrix 3 times in the movies. I not only own American Pie 1, but i own American Pie 2 as well. I'm also looking forward to American Wedding. Anyways, back to the matter at hand. This movie is CRUDE. This movie is STEREOTYPICAL. This movie has NO PLOT. However, this movie is not necessarily AMERICAN. it should just be called "PIE". in fact, the original name of this movie didnt even have AMERICAN in it. if you can not relate to this movie, you must have some genetic defect. american or not, this movie relates to every growing teenager thinking about sex. it has its crude humor and i love it. i love crude humor. i love howard stern mornings and i love porkys. i like when people eff up and i love when laughter is pointed at others. call it sadistic, but i think alot of you people need to lighten up. this movie is a light hearted comedy and if you can't find an ounce of humor out of it, i'd hate to even know you.
IF YOU FOUND PORKY'S FUNNY...RENT THIS! WAIT...BUY THIS! GOOD DAY TO YOU!
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991)
Totally Gnarly
Why does this movie have a 5.1? this movie deserves at least a 8.9. when i saw my cousins dvd collection, i totally ganked this from his house. this movie rules to no end. i have no intentions of giving it back to him and have every intention on watching it about 40 more times before even suggesting to him that i have his dvd. i just hope he doesnt read imdb religously like i do. ;o)
The 'Burbs (1989)
Hey RUUUMSFIELD!
this is my alltime favorite hanks flick. next in line is dragnet. anyways, the burbs is a hilarious coldesac (did i spell that right) adventure of three middle aged guys aiming to prove their dummy wives that the klopecs are in deed - murderers! satanic rituals, mutilations - MUTILATIONS, all of it is in here. i swear this movie is the best!
The Goonies (1985)
I'm moving to Oregon to be a Goonie
This movie is the epitome of childhood adventure. I don't know anyone who dislikes this film. I babysat for some little kids last summer and showed them this movie and they loved it too. This movie is for every generation. In fact, my dad still does the truffle shuffle.
Slackers (2002)
Whats wrong with you people?!
Worst movie of the year? Ok...the name is SLACKERS! Not Schindlers List Part 2. Why do you people try to pull so much meaning out of these stoner flicks? What are you thinking when you rent these movies? That you'll find a diamond in the rough? A Spielbergian classic?!? I like stupid humor. Sue me. I can laugh dumb nonsense. I've shown this to a ton of people and they all found humor in it. Cool Ethan is quite possibly the craziest character ever written and what his face from Rushmore pulls it off perfectly. Plus whats his face from that Stan video is PIMP in this movie. Seriously...take notes from STAN, eminems greatest fan.
My advice to you critics that downplay a stupid script in the first place is to stop watching comedy's. Stop now while you're ahead. Thank you and good day.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Action packed - Stale Plot
to give this film a 0/10 just b/c you're disappointed that it didnt stand up to its predecessor is insane. this movie wont stand up to its predecessor and niether will the last one but this movie is still quality. we all know the plot. SAVE ZION, NEOS THE ONE! so why bad mouth the plot when you fell inlove with it in the first film...how can you not know what was gonna happen in this film?? i could have predicted the storyline and we all know there is a third installment still yet to be released. did you think this was gonna be a completely different movie??? i agree that some of the scenes were a bit eccentric and some of the cg and special effects were overused, but i went home a satisfied man. yes, i said man. this isnt the type of film to take your hubby to. sit her home and go out with the guys to see some crazy kung fu action. this film is easily one of the greatest action films i have ever seen. choreography was brilliant and the green screens used were superb. you cant deny a 14 minute chase scene and crazy evil albino twins. this movie is action packed, but the plot gets stale. don't expect an oscars to come out of this film. quit bellyaching over it and enjoy the action. rating - 8/10
Phantasm (1979)
Aweful.
Ok, I am usually one of the first to defend a crappy horror movie. I went to see Halloween 8 with Busta Rhymes. I downloaded Jason X with great anticipation. I considered Rawhead Rex a classic! I even bought Killer Clowns from Outer Space for $9.99 but would have gladly spent an extra ten bucks for it the other night at Best Buy. However, this movie seriously sucks and is a waste of time. The idea of this movie was a good one, though - an evil man that digs up bodies and a bunch of wierd crap happening in a creepy funeral home. Well, thats about as good as it gets. This director must have been high with the screenplay and storyline of this movie. You have this kid that hangs out and spies on a graveyard (who does that?!) and gets his older brother and his friend to help him figure out whats goin on. I'll tell you right now whats goin on...a horrible plot in progress. You have a creepy guy (almost as creepy as the guy from poltergeist) that stands 7 feet tall with a lame character name called "The Tall Man". that right there should tell you that this movie lacks credability - The Tall Man?! what kind of crap is that?! at least call him The Tall Mortician or something! throughout the movie, friends are dying or pressumed dead, then coming back to life with no explanation. you have one scene where one minute the screen is completely black and the main character is in grips with this troll, then next minute he is outside in the middle of a field yelling for his brother! you ask yourself, "what the heck just happened!?" from the first scene to the very last scene, you ask yourself, "what the heck just happened?!" to give this movie anymore than 2 stars is insane. they did a good job leaving it open for a sequel, but don't expect the sequel to provide anymore information. yep, this movie is crap.