Reviews

I know I'm going to get death threats for this review from die hard Disney fans, but I don't care. The Little Mermaid is not my favorite Disney film. Sure, the animation is great and there are a few good songs in there, but that's all I have to say that is good about this film.

Before you harp on me saying "But Disney sells smiles and had to give this story a happy ending compared to the original tragic story", that is not the reason why I don't like this film. I think giving stories like The Little Mermaid a happy ending is hard to pull off, but it can be done. Just too bad the execution and lack of morals made this film hard to swallow.

The big beef I have with this film is the protagonist. Seriously, I really cannot stand Ariel. She's so much like Bella Swan from Twilight, that it's sickening. Ariel is superficial, spoiled, self centered, whiny, ungrateful and well, she's just about as smart as a door knob. Her dream is to have legs, but why? Because, having legs is cool and awesome and the new trend among mermaids. I know this is a family film, but that is not an excuse for cop out writing. If Disney gave her a more heartfelt reason why she wanted to be human, I would have liked this film some more.

As for Ariel being superficial, the only reason why she loves Eric is because he's handsome and a prince. Never mind that he's lazy, self-centered, vain, cocky, egotistical and downright idiotic, he's handsome, rich and famous, and that's all that matters. She even goes as far as giving everything up in life, so she can stalk him and be possessive of him, to the point where she throws a tizzy when he looks at people other than her. You know, if I were Eric, I wouldn't care if she lost her voice. I would ditch her if I were him. Partners who force themselves on you and get possessive of you aren't the good type of lovers. I don't care what Disney has to say about that.

As for Ariel being spoiled and ungrateful, she's rude to her family and friends, and treats her own family like a pile of garbage, yet her family and friends love her back. "But she's a teenager" isn't a valid excuse. Even teenagers who treat their family and friends like trash end up facing some punishment for their actions and mistakes. Hell, if I acted anything like Ariel to my family, they would have disowned me and send me to live on the streets. Well, Triton does try to punish her, but he regrets it later and lets her live out her wet fantasy of having a lazy and useless trophy husband.

Ariel's not being smart for selling her soul...I mean voice to the so-called "evil" sea witch Ursula. And why does she want this? Because her "cruel family" won't let her have a trophy husband from another world. Give me a break...

So to make the long story short, Ariel gets her wish, but then, Ursula makes herself pretty and seduces Eric. Instead of getting over it, Ariel gets possessive of Eric and stalls the wedding. But as she gains her voice, she becomes a mermaid and Ursula tries to turn her into a barnacle. But instead, Triton takes her place and a big battle ensures. Eric gets to do all the work while Ariel just cowers in a corner whimpering and crying. How sexist is that? I can see if this movie was made back in the 1940's, I'd be more understanding, but it was made in 1989. The same era She-Ra, Jem and other girl heroes came out. There's no excuse for Ariel to be a doormat.

So in the end, Ariel doesn't apologize to her family and friends, but they still give into her dream and she gets married right off the bat. They don't talk to her saying that she needs to know him better, because that would make sense. So Ariel gets married to Eric and has a child with him, at the age of 16! And he's an adult! No, that's not pedophilia at all.

In a nutshell, I can't believe this movie beat All Dogs go to Heaven and Little Nemo in the animation war of the 1980's. A film about a creepy, unhealthy and borderline dysfunctional relationship beating a couple cute, yet dark films about redeeming yourself (All Dogs go to Heaven) and conquering your fears (Little Nemo). The parental watchdog groups boycotted all Dogs and Little Nemo for being too dark and creepy, yet don't bat an eyelash to the diseased values in TLM?

Watch Little Nemo, All Dogs go to Heaven and The Dark Crystal to see what real family films are about. Sure, they have their dark and creepy moments, but they have likable characters and don't promote dysfunctional relationships.

Rating: ** out of *****

I watched the Dark Crystal again. It's still my favorite children's movie, but it is anything but perfect. Beautiful character designs, deep world and an interesting plot (NOTE: You have to read books and interviews to really understand the plot and world) Well, it's almost perfect if it wern't for one thing:

The gelflings are flawless and perfect. And that is what's wrong with them. Am I the only one sick of perfect and flawless heroes and heroines in children's films, while the villains seem more human? I would like the Gelfling more if they had actual human flaws and personalities.

You know what the gelfings remind me of when it comes to storytelling? Two words sum it up: MARY SUE. That's right, the perfect flawless character that plagues books and fanfics (and to an extent, RPG video games). I'm sick of the supporting heroes (eg. Aughra) and the villains (skeksis) being more likable than the poster children heroes.

There is character development in the DC novel and official books, and it clearly stated that Skeksis did once have some good in them. Let's see, SkekUng is brave, SkekTek is intelligent, SkekEkt is usually cheerful, and SkekZok is devoted to his duties. Are those consitered evil traits? I don't think so. And the UrRu have a few bad traits themselves like being lazy, procrastinating, giving in to depression and being weak willed. So the Skeksis and the UrRu seem pretty human to me.

So why must the hero and heroine be boring and have nearly no personality nor have too many emotions. If advanced civilzations are a race of beings with miniscule emotions and no personality, then they are doomed and that world won't have much going for it.

But I think that's about to change with the main heroine of the sequel(if it doesn't get cancelled). In fact, when I read the summary, Thurma sounds more like an anti-heroine. We need more of these type of heroes.

Overall, if it wern't for the Mary Sue like poster children, the Dark Crystal would have been a perfect film. Still say though, the Skeksis are my favorite movie villains of all time.

Rating: 4 1/2 out of five.

I'm honestly a huge Keita Amemiya fan. I love his artwork and how he presents a story, no matter how familiar the story is. I had such high hopes for "Dual Heroes" when it came out on the N64, and sadly, those hopes were crushed by all the glitches and bugs in this game. No wonder Amemiya refused to work with Hudson Soft ever since 1997.

Graphics (2/5): If it were for all the graphic glitches and fogginess in this game, I would rate the graphics higher. The high point of the graphics is Amemiya's beautiful artwork and character designs. But just too bad the in game graphics mess up on you a lot to the point of not being able to make out a thing.

Sound (3/5): The music is not too shabby for an N64 game. Sure, it's no Soul Calibur when it comes to the soundtrack, but the tunes are upbeat and memorable. But the sound, N64 does not deliver good sound nor voice acting. In fact, the characters only grunt and pout in this game. If they would have made Dual Heroes for the Playstation or Dreamcast, it would be so much better.

Gameplay (2/5): It's an easy to play button masher, and well, that's the problem. In Soul Calibur, you had to use a little strategy with that button mashing, like using the right weapons or high low attacks. In this game, it's pure button mashing. And of course, it wouldn't be a problem if the game didn't glitch or freeze up 89% of the time.

Story and Characters (4/5): Dual Heroes only strong point are the story and the characters. It's about a futuristic planet Earth where people wear anti gravity devices and use high tech machinery. One day, an evil dictator decides to strive for world domination and strips the freedom away from various countries. So it's up to a motley assortment of cyborg warriors to stop his reign of terror and bring freedom to the world.

What I like about the plot is, that there is NO tournament. I actually like some story with my games if you don't mind. And the characters seem so very interesting, as well as beautifully drawn. Just what kept me from giving this category a perfect five is that there is not enough character development. It would have helped to have actual voice overs or characters saying lines after a battle.

Replay (1/5): The only reason to replay is to see Amemiya's artwork. Other than that, the buggy game play makes it more frustrating than fun.

Overall (1 1/2 out of 5): Dual Heroes had so much potential. It could have been a great game and be released for a more powerful system like the Playstation or Dreamcast, but alas, it ended up being just a buggy game forgotten by many. You know, I don't blame Amemiya for cutting ties with Hudson Soft. If someone messed with my creation so much to where it's unenjoyable, I would be mad at them too.

Okay, I agree with all the Barney haters on this site. I think Barney and his friends are all ugly looking and obnoxious and the show is very lop sided and unrealistic.

But the thing that ticked me off the most is how Barney presented Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals on his show when talking about same sex parents and relatives. That wouldn't be so much of a problem if the creators of this show didn't use so many derogatory stereotypes of homosexuals. I mean, not all gay men wear mascara and love the colors purple and pink, and not all lesbians are ugly and manly looking with a bosom that sags to their abdomen. As a bisexual female, I just think this is terrible for a children's show. If this were South Park, I wouldn't mind it, because South Park is for people who can distinguish fantasy from reality. A lot of people who watch Barney are little kids or handicapped people who can't usually distinguish fantasy from reality.

And now that I think about it, Barney sort of comes off as an ugly gay stereotype himself. Let's see, he doesn't have a girlfriend, he's pinkish colored and wears clothes with sequins (yes, it's true) on it. If you claim to be for the rights of gay and bisexual individuals, then stop making a mockery out of them in front of people who don't know any better. If Barney went black-face and ate fried chicken and watermelon at the same time, the show would be pulled off the air before you know it.

I give this show a negative one out of five. Don't show your kids such hateful crap. There are children's shows out there that are so less insulting.

Why do people hate this game so much? I love just about every Soul Calibur game they made, no matter how many bad reviews it got. Okay, well, I'm not a sponge that agrees with the public. Here we go.

Graphics (5/5): The playstation 3 and X-Box 360 definitely lives up to the graphics. The character designs and artwork is also real pretty. Like Soul Calibur II, SCIV uses multiple character designers, including the people who created Gantz and Keroro Gunso. The graphics and artwork never fail to amaze.

Sound (4/5): The soundtrack is good as usual. It actually fits with the games atmosphere. The voice acting is pretty good too, though I do think the Japanese voice acting sounds a bit better. Though the English dubbing isn't the worst, but I hate how they didn't match the English dialogue with the mouth movements. It's like watching a badly dubbed Kung Fu movie from the 1970's. One lesson for Namco, when making foreign language dubs, try not to make it look so goofy.

Gameplay (5/5): Even though a lot of the game is online, but it still doesn't stop SCIV from being fun. I'm glad they didn't change the gameplay too much (all they added were critical finishers, which are cool). I guess Namco follows the philosophy "if it's not broken, don't fix it".

Story and Characters (5/5): Here's the part I like about the Soul Calibur series. It's an epic good vs evil tale and guess what? There's no tournament in sight! Just a tale of good Samaritan warriors fighting evil demonic creatures bend on destroying the balance of the world.

And most of the characters are interesting too. None of the heroes are flawless, each have their own hits and misses. And most importantly, a cast of strong and intelligent female characters. Yeah yeah, I know the girls wear revealing clothes, but judge a character by how they act, NOT by how they dress. There are only two unlikeable characters, but for the most part, the characters are interesting and likable.

Replay (5/5): Replay value is high on most of the series. A lot to unlock and download in this game, you wonder where it ends.

Overall (5/5) What's that? A video game series that actually gets a 5 out of five? Yes, you read that correctly. Soul Calibur is my #1 favorite fighting game series of all time. Sure not all the games got good reviews but who cares? One to their own, I guess.