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Pacific Rim (2013)
1/10
Breathtakingly bad.
13 July 2013
I only have myself to blame. I saw the trailer and was seduced by the whole "Giant Robots fight Giant Aliens" concept, and Del Toro's record. But to say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

I came very close to walking out. And the only other time I've done that is watching Adam Sandler's "Don't Mess With The Zohan". That's how bad it is.

Visually, it's on a huge scale and is nothing you've seen before. It deserves some plaudits for that. Rinko Kikuchi put in a decent performance (at least when compared to her fellow cast members)

But the poor acting, cringe-worthy dialogue, lazy characterisation, sad attempts at "comic relief", incoherent storyline and gaping plot holes do not make up for the cool effects. And to be honest, after the first 20 minutes or so, you kind of know what you're going to get for the rest of the movie.

I know it's a big blockbusting summer popcorn movie, and I usually LOVE that stuff. But this was lazy. When 95% of your time is on the effects and 5% is on the rest, you're going to get a crappy film, and that's exactly what you get here.
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5/10
A Masterclass from Streep (in an otherwise average film)
1 July 2006
Meryl Streep gives a masterly performance as the boss-from-hell, Miranda Priestly. Her cool and calm delivery is far more terrifying than taking the more obvious route of barking orders at her underlings. Meryl Streep injects a large does of humanity into a character that has the potential to be more of a cartoon.

Stanley Tucci and Emily Blunt also do an excellent job with their supporting roles as put-upon minions. Their catty asides are delicious.

Anne Hathaway, unfortunately, and the whole subplot about her losing her own identity, are just dull in comparison. The audience just doesn't really care about her.

The film could be used as a starting point for a feminist rant. However, it does at least acknowledge that a man acting the way Miranda does would be admired as an excellent leader - whereas a woman is just seen as a complete bitch.

The film is distinctly average, but worth watching for Streep alone. An Oscar nod wouldn't be a surprise.
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10/10
I had to stop myself from cheering
28 June 2006
I'm not a superhero fan or a comic book fan, but from the moment that wonderful music started to play, this turned into the perfect summer movie experience.

Spacey has great fun as Luther, but is almost upstaged by Posey as his tart-with-a-heart companion. Brandon Routh had me a little worried from the previews, but excels as a man struggling to accept that things have moved on in his absence. The effects were spectacular - the shuttle/jet sequence is simply astonishing.

There are those who think that Bryan Singer is a genius, and then there are those who are wrong. Sit back and enjoy...
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6/10
Has Class - Lacks Soul
19 May 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The Notorious Bettie Page is a interesting biopic of the lady whose risqué photos and films upset the conservative notions of certain people.

Mol certainly looks the part, but whether it is intentional or not, the Bettie Page portrayed on screen is both a victim and a fool. Mistreated by men all her life, yet unable to recognise that the pictures she willingly poses for are for the innocent entertainment of 'classy' gentlemen.

It is a film that doesn't seem to know whether it is a banner for free speech and expression, or a diatribe about the nature of sin. Either way, it's a got enough to say to pass an enjoyable few hours.
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Poseidon (2006)
4/10
Unintentially cheesy
19 May 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This kind of film will always be reliant on effects, and in the case of a big ship that encounters some problems, Poseidon is always going to be compared to Titanic. But Peterson enjoys messing around with water, so it's OK to be optimistic.

It starts out in a similar vein to the Big T, with a nice sweeping view of the star of the show. The main characters are clumsily introduced to us within the first ten minutes - and the ones who are evidently not going to make it may as well have giant bulls-eyes tattooed on their foreheads. Peterson makes no effort to give any of these people a credible character. But in his defense, this is not why we're here. We want to see Peterson "flip the ship" - which he does rather well. All the big money shots are present and accounted for.

Once the ship flips, things take a turn for the frankly ludicrous - and there is a part of me that says "Why Not?". Its a remake of a big cheesy 70s disaster movie. It's not aiming for realism.

The motley crew of escapees start their attempt to escape. Things are occasionally a bit tense, and often hilarious (not intentionally), the escapees start dropping like flies. The dialogue is ridiculous, but there are some big explosions and near misses, that you can put your brain into neutral and just enjoy the ride.

It's a silly, but perfectly acceptable way to spend a few hours - and worth seeing on the big screen to fully appreciate the scale of the movie. But Wolfgang shouldn't expect any calls from the academy...
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4/10
Disappointing...
19 May 2006
OK, the book wasn't a literary masterpiece, but it was good fun, and kept the action and suspense rolling along nicely. Ron Howard's determination to stick to the story is admirable, but what is sadly missing is any real sense of excitement.

Hanks looks bored, and Tatou's "I don't understand" face gets old very quickly. McKellen is having a great time, and Bettany does a reasonably job. Alfred Molina - one of the UK's finest actors is criminally wasted in a supporting role with no bite to it. As is Jean Reno.

And will someone tell Ron that his reliance on flashbacks is getting out of hand.

I had high hopes, and they have not come close to being met.
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Munich (2005)
2/10
Save Your Money
16 February 2006
I saw this last night and am strongly thinking about writing to Mr Spielberg and asking for my money back, or an apology at the very least.

Obviously the subject matter is a delicate one, and I think neutrality was the right way to go - it left me with a distinct "a plague on both their houses" feeling, but that is not my gripe.

Almost every scene in this film was a cliché. We're in Paris? Ah, then the Eiffel Tower must be in every scene? Amsterdam? Let's have some canals and bicycles. London? Well, it should be raining, obviously... Daniel Craig as a Jewish South African, but a strange British twang? Nobody comes out of this well - especially Spielberg.
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