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princessadorable
Reviews
The Onion Movie (2008)
Highly Offensive
I rate this movie 3/10 because it was not funny, and it was mainly offensive.
Most skits were long and just plain not funny. It was like I was watching it..but that was all...at the end of each skit I was like Okay...that's cool.
Occasionally I was like haha that was cute...but I wasn't roaring.
There were maybe 2 scenes in the movie that really made me laugh... each lasted maybe 10 seconds.. One being the smoking room....
However I saw the smoking room in the trailer and it made me laugh then...it just made me smile when I saw it in the movie because it followed the most offensive scene..."rape mystery board game" which is NOT funny in any way.... when we start making jokes about being raped, it's harder for those who have actually been raped to stand up and be taken seriously.
Jokes about black people, arabs and other horrible stereotypes only continues the abuse these minorities face.
Sorry Onion, this just wasn't funny.
Playing God (1997)
Lame but Angelina was cute
Overall the movie was fairly lame....I was doing dishes while I watched it... I only watched it because Angelina Jolie was in it. The movie could have been better. The idea for the movie was excellent, which is why I'm sad this movie was such a bore. A doctor gets his license taken from him when he does a surgery under narcotics and then starts working for gangs as their doctor. That last sentence I just wrote was the movie, so if you read that sentence, congratulations...you saw the movie!! Angelina was 7/10 in this movie. She is cute, but not stunning. Her face is a full.. looks healthier than she does now, but in the movie it was a bit too full for my taste. Her lips are still very juicy and kissable in this movie.
Overall 6/10
Australia (2008)
Total Waste of Money
This is by the far the worst movie I have seen in a long time. I was told by a friend to see this movie because it was "artsy and cute" wow could that ever be far from the truth. I go in, sit down in the theaters and first thing is this really annoying kid's voice who you can barely understand and who sounds really utterly annoying to your ears. I wanted to kill myself right when he started talking.. okay so after we learn that there's a place called England in the world...next thing I know some rich woman is in Australia, her panties are being thrown around and everyone is talking like an alien. I have no idea why she's there, what's going on.. and the person eating popcorn is more thrilling then this movie.
Okay so I ask my boyfriend if he wants to leave the theaters because it was a total bore. He was like oh look kangaroos! I was like okay well maybe it's getting better... next thing I know they shoot the kangaroo and everyone is laughing. This is not funny at all! I had enough I yelled this movie makes no sense and was a waste of my money and stormed out of the theater.
Conclusion: If you like watching movies that make no sense and annoy you, this is the movie for you.
The Dark Knight (2008)
Disappointing
The movie was lacking something. It wasn't as cool as the movies from the 90s. When Bruce was Batman, he talked in this really deep voice which sounded really stupid. The "batcave" was also a huge empty room with nothing in it but a crappy desk with a few computer screens. Batman was also really skinny and old looking in this movie. The main girls were also very unattractive in this Batman movie. The only good actor in this movie was the Joker. Wished they could have explained what happened to him, whether he died or what since that was unclear...I mean they say this movie sticks more to the comics.. and the 90's ones are more "movie" inspired ones.. but I mean common.. the Batcave in this movie sucked! We are moving towards the future people..the 90's Batman had more futuristic high tech gear than the new one! What the heck!
Sorry Batman.. you're going downhill.
Shanghai Kiss (2007)
Lacking Something
The movie was okay. I give it 5/10 because it had a story and it said it, but the the main dude was really monotone and lacked compassion and his relationship with the American chick(hayden panttiere) was also lacking something and was just very strange...the fact that she was younger than him was also sorta creepy. He slept with lots of people but not her even though she was the girl of his dreams... yet she was like 16 so it was just weird.
Overall it was just a strange movie.. had about the depth of a spoon. Its an okay movie to watch while you're knitting or sewing, that's what I did.