Reviews

I tried reviewing this before, but for some reason what I said was not accepted. That's probably a good thing as I think I probably wasted far too many words on this utter tripe last time. I can't believe "Best In Show" is so highly regarded because the whole thing is just one long "toilet joke". The characters are totally unlikeable and the gags are so bad (not to mention predictable) that I cringed throughout. I still cannot believe that those who support the film claim it is "subtle" humour, because it is without a doubt the LEAST subtle film I have ever seen. I laughed at maybe two lines in the entire movie and one of THOSE was spoken by someone who wasn't even a main character! A truly appalling film. 3/10 and I'm in a generous mood.

Three tales from the murky world of drug trafficking are sublimely welded together by Steven Soderbergh and a masterful performance by the majority of the cast made this movie well worth the effort. It was encouraging to see Benicio Del Toro pick up his Best Supporting Actor award at the Oscars as I cannot think of anyone who has played such a convincing role since the beginning of the millennium. Erika Christensen too, puts in a powerful show as Michael Douglas's troubled drug addict teenage daughter and there are enough light hearted moments - generally between Don Cheadle and Luis Guzman - to keep proceedings from ever becoming dull. Soderbergh deserves credit too for not coming over all moral on us and leaving the notion of whether "drugs are bad" entirely up to us, the audience. Maybe this film's not one for the popcorn munchers out there, but for those of us who like an intelligent well acted piece of art, this is a must. I'd give it 8.8 out of 10, but Del Toro's performance deserves a 10 no question.

Ok, I admit, since seeing Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Donnie Darko" she has easily flown to the top of my "most desirable" list. Now, due to this, if you had asked me before I saw this film if I would like to see Maggie lying totally nude on a bed, I would have said yes...or rather, I would have said "YES!!". However, this film is so spectacularly acted by both Gyllenhaal and James Spader that the final nude scene seems kind of pointless and just an excuse to get a gorgeous actress's clothes off. Don't get me wrong here, Maggie has a really beautiful body and my eyes just about popped out cartoon style at this point in the film, but that's not the issue. What I'm saying is that the movie held my interest very well anyway up to that point, and was fascinating enough, without really needing to go any further. I actually felt a little sorry for Spader's character, as he is quite obviously totally ashamed of the way he is and can do nothing about it. Lee Holloway is played to perfection by Gyllenhaal as a girl being drawn deeper and deeper into Spader's sexual perversions and the end result is just a great film. 8/10

I'll be honest with you here. I totally DESPISED the second installment of the trilogy after really enjoying the first, and as a result I had no intention of seeing "Goldmember". However a mate of mine lent me the DVD yesterday and I thought I'd give it a go - although I was fully expecting to hate it. I was wrong - this made me laugh a lot, especially some of the cameos early in the film. Plus of course, you could actually have sympathy with Austin again due to the father-son relationship wonderfully played by Michael Caine. The only thing that detracted from my enjoyment of the film was the inclusion of Fat Bastard, who remains as unfunny as a terminal illness. Still, this is six billion times better than the spectacularly lame "Spy Who Shagged Me" and purely because it won me back over after such a travesty I will give it a satisfying 7/10.

I am totally baffled by the revelation that most people I know hated the first Austin Powers movie and loved the second. For a start, in the original you could feel sympathy with our hero who was hopelessly out of place in modern society, but that's just gone in this catastrophically disappointing sequel. Secondly, these 'hilarious gags' that were supposedly abundant in this film WERE TAKEN FROM THE FIRST! Wake up people! Now, I'm not going to diss this film completely as there were a couple of scenes that made me laugh out loud - the silhouetted tent scene and the Powers / Mini me punch up. However, a certain other new creation, Fat B*****d, is probably the least funny character ever to appear on our cinema screens. Oh, and I know I'm in the minority here, but Liz Hurley was infinitely preferable to Heather Graham as Powers' sidekick. In summary, an awful follow up to a superb movie that just scrapes 4/10 for the two scenes mentioned herein.

On a dull rainy day a couple of years ago, I was just sitting there twiddling my thumbs, so I ordered this on a Pay-Per-View channel as it looked vaguely interesting and had Guy Pearce in it - who had given such an outstanding performance in "L.A. Confidential". Boy did I underestimate how good this movie was going to be or what?! It is utterly compelling, has you thinking and scratching your head throughout and the ending is such a revelation that it took me about a week to scrape my jaw from off the floor. Pearce is again excellent, although Pantoliano, for me, steals the show as bent cop 'Teddy' and Carrie Ann Moss is wonderful as the playful schizophrenic Natalie. Before I watched this film I was bored and lethargic. Afterwards I felt elated and wanted to talk to everyone about it. Long may it remain in IMDB's top twenty. Impossible to give less than 10/10.

It's true that the formula to this movie is more than a little overused these days, but it's acted well enough by Madsen and Arquette, and being less than an hour and a half in duration, it keeps you interested anyway. I found it a very easy to watch, albeit fairly predictable film that's inoffensive and, occasionally, great fun. Patricia Arquette looks gorgeous in "Trouble Bound" (I seem to have developed a thing for her after seeing "Human Nature"!) and the overall result is a slightly above average action comedy. 6.5/10

Having decided some time ago to collect the films of Billy Bob Thornton (on the strength of class movies like "Sling Blade", "A Simple Plan" and "The Man Who Wasn't There" amongst others), it was inevitable that there would be the odd turkey in there. What I didn't realise however, was that there could be one THIS bad. I'll give you an idea how incredibly poor this film is - the funniest dialogue in it goes like this: "Knock Knock", "Who's there?", "The big stinking man", "The big stinking man who?", "The big stinking man - is YOU!". Yes folks, it really is that bad. Billy Bob is only in it for about two minutes (I guess he needed the work at that time in his career), and the rest of the movie is painful. For some reason though, although it's undeniably awful, I don't hate it. That's probably because I save my ire for any high budget, special effects laden junk like "The Fast and the Furious" and not a "no-budget" flick like this one. 2/10 at a push.

This is British Cinema at its very best and has been my favourite film of all time since I first saw it on the big screen. I cannot think of two more powerful performances committed to celluloid than those of Peter Postlethwaite and Stephen Tompkinson. There is so much emotion in "Brassed Off" that anyone who fails to be moved must have a heart of stone...if indeed they have a heart at all. People I know (or reviews I have read) that didn't like the film have criticised the intense political messages within it, but in my opinion these folk are missing the point entirely. It's true that there is a fierce undercurrent of anti right wing leaning running through the movie, but to portray the characters any other way would be factually inaccurate. Some may view Thatcher as a Saint, but characters like those in Brassed Off can only ever view her as an evil tyrant. Anyway I'm going off on a tangent now. My point is this: Brassed Off is a very humane picture that paints a picture of early eighties folk who have been robbed of their livelihood, yet still manages to be funny, charming, heartwarming, heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. A truly wonderful film.

This film was about as scary as being tickled on the nose with a feather duster. The problem I have with "The Blair Witch Project" is this: I have been camping on many occasions and, should you awake and find a pile of pebbles in front of your tent, you think "Oh look. There's a pile of pebbles outside my tent", rather than screaming that you're all going to die and fumbling dramatically for a clean pair of underpants. It always amazes me that people say "Yes, but you need to think about the implications of what might have happened". Ok, but that's like talking about "Mars Attacks!" and saying "Yes, but what if some aliens really DID land and start blowing people to pieces?" - Am I missing the point here? Aaagh! No! The phone's ringing. What if it's someone masquerading as an insurance salesman but actually wants to chop off my nose with a steak knife? Help!

I saw this film last week, and whilst I enjoyed it very much for what it was, I wasn't entirely sure it merited its ranking as one of the 100 greatest movies of all time! However, the fact that I am STILL thinking about the picture seven days later would imply that this had a bigger effect on me than I at first imagined. Jake Gyllenhaal turns in an exceptional performance as the lead character, making the viewer feel exactly as he himself is feeling throughout the film. Add to this the sparkling inclusion (and inspired casting) of both Patrick Swayze and Drew Barrymore as sleazy self-help guru and schoolteacher respectively, as well as a breathtakingly original idea, cleverly shot and well scripted, and you will understand why "Donnie Darko" has achieved the acclaim it deserves. So far, I have given the movie 8 out of 10, but I'm beginning to think I should be nudging it up a notch, given the lasting impression it has made on me. We'll see...

I like to think that I am generally one of the most open minded viewers around, but, had "The Fast and the Furious" not been released in 2001, I would have had no hesitation whatsoever in pronouncing CTHD the most dreary, uninteresting film of the past decade. Okay, yes I confess, I am not a lover of martial arts movies, but given the global recognition and awards picked up by the film, I was expecting the cinematic masterpiece it was cracked up to be. The movie was too slow (and I normally LIKE slow films!), the story was like "Dallas" but with swords and sarongs instead of oil, and has sent me to sleep each and every time I have attempted to watch it. To shower this with trophies and accolades is akin to awarding Steven Seagal with a "Best Actor" award.