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Film-gourmet
10/10 - potential of perfect
9/10 - impressing
8/10 - superb
7/10 - good, fun to watch
6/10 - above average, however cliche
5/10 - below average, nothing new
4/10 - meh
3/10 - bad, but doesn't worth the hate
2/10 - very boring, definitely worth the hate
1/10 - suffering level of wooden shards under your fingernails
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Wuthering Heights (2009)
A Late Bloomer's Guide to Self-Reflection
Wuthering Heights (2009) is more than a film to me, it's an intimate exploration of the complexities of human nature, especially those of us who bloomed a little later in life. This rendition, masterfully brought to life by Tom Hardy, is a love letter to Emily Bronte's work and a testament to the depth of her understanding of human emotions. I was pulled in by Hardy's magnetic portrayal of Heathcliff, a character with whom I share an uncanny resemblance.
Being a late bloomer myself, I found Heathcliff's journey both heart-wrenching and cathartic. I identify with his love, his hurt, his yearning for revenge, and his insatiable need to prove those who doubted him wrong. The intensity of these emotions mirrored my own and had me hooked from the beginning. Hardy's delivery of the line, "I have no pity. I have no pity," was hauntingly profound and resonated with me so deeply, it has since become one of my personal mantras.
The power of this film was so overwhelming, it had me on the verge of tears multiple times, a rare occurrence given my generally stoic demeanor. The embodiment of 'defying all odds' sentiment is so raw and relatable, it stirs something deep within.
While Wuthering Heights is a triumphant celebration of the indomitable spirit, it is also a poignant reminder of the importance of forgiveness. This aspect of the narrative was personally challenging to me, as it made me confront my own lack of forgiveness in my life, and the pain I've unintentionally caused as a result.
What makes Wuthering Heights a perfect piece of cinema is not just its faithful adaptation of Bronte's novel but its potential to trigger profound introspection. By the end of the film, I found myself reevaluating my own perspective on revenge and competition, realizing the unnecessary harshness in my approach.
The narrative depth of this film is beyond what many may be accustomed to in today's fleeting social media culture. It's layered, profound, and requires an investment of time and thought, much like life itself. The ending is a punch to the gut, a true testament to Bronte's brilliance, which has made me return to it, time and again.
If you're a late bloomer, an introvert, or anyone who's ever felt misunderstood, this film is a must-watch. Wuthering Heights is not merely a film but a transformative cinematic experience that can leave an indelible impact on the viewer. It gets a straight 11/10 from me.
Please Kill Me, I'm a Faggot Nigger Jew (1996)
My favorite movie
This movie stands as a testament to experimental cinema, a gem that perhaps not everyone will be able to appreciate, but one that offers an unparalleled experience to those who can.
This short, 10-minute film might initially strike you as obscure, with its seemingly simple black and white footage of a woman trimming her pubic hair. But do not let the surface simplicity deceive you, for beneath it lies a profound exploration of the human condition.
The accompanying narration, delivered in a robotic tone, at first feels distant, almost alienating. However, upon repeated viewings, one starts to discern the subtle underlying themes. It is an abstract reflection on identity, taboos, and the often ignored facets of our society.
The stripped-down visual and the clinical audio deliver an impactful juxtaposition, a raw and unfiltered experience that straddles the line between art and reality. The stark black and white imagery adds to the visual depth, bringing a sense of timelessness to the narrative.
The film's power lies in its ability to draw you in, to hook you not by providing easy answers, but by posing intriguing questions. Just like the famous quote from French poet Paul Valéry, "A poem should not mean. But be", this film exists in its own realm, seeking not to provide finite interpretations, but to evoke profound thought and discussion.
While it's true that not everyone might be ready for the potent cocktail of avant-garde techniques that this film presents, those who are will find themselves returning to it time and again, like a moth to a flame. Each viewing reveals a new layer, a fresh perspective, and an augmented appreciation.
The film carries a strong warning though: once you dive into its rich tapestry, it's hard to come out unaffected. It's like a potent substance, addictive, challenging and beguiling in equal measure.
So, viewer discretion is advised. But those willing to take the plunge, ready to challenge their perceptions and open to experience a new form of storytelling, this short film is an unforgettable journey that awaits you.
Beyaz Hap (2023)
First stepping stone for the director Efe abi
"Beyaz Hap," directed by the noted YouTube personality, Efe abi, offers a unique cinematic experience with a deep dive into the lives of two young individuals pursuing their passion for dance and gaming videos, respectively. The narrative cleverly intertwines their lives with a central theme of 'happiness pills.'
Efe Aydal, known for his well-articulated thoughts on his YouTube channel, steps into new territory with this movie. Me, being an avid follower of Efe abi, his transition from the digital platform to the big screen was both intriguing and commendable. The experience he brings from his years of producing engaging video content is palpable in his storytelling style.
However, Efe abi; as a 'self-taught' filmmaker or 'alayli,' in Turkish; shows some of his rookie stripes. There's a certain level of rawness and roughness around the edges, particularly in the technical aspects of the movie, that indicates the filmmaker's relative inexperience in this medium. It's not without its charm, though, as it infuses the film with a sort of grounded authenticity that resonates.
While Efe abi should be lauded for finally taking the leap and materializing his 20-year-old dream of making a film, "Beyaz Hap" is, in essence, a stepping stone in his filmmaking journey. As a viewer, I see this film as Efe abi's warm-up round - his way of breaking the ice with the medium and the industry. The directorial prowess of good filmmakers like Stanley Kubrick and Nuri Bilge Ceylan was not built in a day, and Efe abi is no different. He will undeniably learn from this endeavor and, hopefully, deliver more refined work in the future.
That said, "Beyaz Hap" has its own charm and appeal. The film's narrative carries Efe abi's signature style, a draw for viewers familiar with his work. Yet, the film might come off as slightly offbeat to those who are unacquainted with his digital content. The film's premise, while interesting, does sometimes fall into the trap of amateurish execution.
As a psychiatrist, I take issue with the film's portrayal of antidepressants. The message can be misleading as antidepressants play a vital role in managing and treating depression. They are not 'happiness pills' but necessary medical treatment for a serious condition. Therefore, Efe abi's depiction of antidepressants feels inaccurate and does a disservice to the understanding of mental health.
In conclusion, "Beyaz Hap" marks a commendable but flawed debut for Aydal. Despite its shortcomings, the film represents a stepping stone for Aydal and is an indication of the potential growth and refinement we might see in his future endeavors.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
Abomination
In Turkish we have a saying: "Zorla güzellik olmaz (Beauty cannot be created by forcing)."
It doesn't matter even if Amazon poured 1 billion dollar into this project. They just bought the copyright for names. This is LOTR only in name; rest of it is just another Netflix type high-fantasy drama. The characters, dialogue, atmosphere, every other element is forced. This is Frankenstein's monster; they took a part from here, another part from there; haphazardly sewed them together, Lo and Behold! This disgusting TV series came out.
I'm not saying Amazon shouldn't make such a Netflix type fantasy series; just don't tarnish Tolkien's name. This is nothing like the nostalgic original LOTR trilogy.
20-30 years later when this fad dies out, people will look back and say: "Wow, corporations can be this evil. Money can make them blind". In this day and age nobody can say "The Emperor has no clothes" because they will be cancelled; however in the future, this TV series will be seen a joke. Shame on whoever partook in this abomination. Shame on you for tarnishing Tolkien's name for money.
Batoru rowaiaru (2000)
Cheesy
Title summarizes it all. Just another low quality Japanese drama but the difference is; this film got attention and became a cult movie. Too dramatic acting, too shallow script, only budget. This movie is like a children's TV show but with violence and blood. Camera and shooting is low quality compared to 2000s.
Easy Japanese script maker recipe: take a high-school drama and combine it with any genre. High-school vampire manga, high-school prison anime, high -school Western movie... You can make unlimited scripts like this. This film's style is high-school plus Mortal Kombat style tournament. Director probably said to the protagonist: "When the camera zooms on your face, clench your bottoms and push as hard as you can". He's looks agitated in most scenes, his face turns to red in almost all of them. This is called overacting. By the way, the antagonist has unlocked unlimited ammo cheat-code; he shoots non-stop with burst shots but the magazine never runs out of ammo. Is this God's miracle? We may never know. Everybody overacts except for that old-man island chief. However, when movie comes to an end; you say to yourself what the hell did I just watched?
Not worth hating however, not worth the time either. Or you can watch it x2 speed in order to see what is the fuss about this movie.
Kapicilar Krali (1976)
Sociological allegory
1970s were intense year for Turkey. Political violence were escalating and class differences were getting more and more sharper. Within the upper class: justice, military, medicine, etc. were putting the pressure on low class (in this movie, the doorman). This movie is a metaphorical perspective to this age.
Is this movie fun? Well, it is your average Kemal Sunal comedy.
Rome (2005)
Anachronistic and apocryphal
*sigh*... Where to begin with?
* After crossing Rubicon, Caesar didn't went straight into Rome but chased Pompey to a port-city called Brundisium and laid a siege there. However, Pompey managed to escape with ships. Then, Caesar marched unto Rome and took it.
* The treasury of Rome was not stored within an ox cart, it was stored in the temple of Saturn. While Caesar was opening the treasury vault, one of the tribunes vetoed and tried to stop him. Caesar made a vow to kill him before gods and everybody else, then and there, if he didn't step away from the vault door. Tribune didn't find the courage to oppose Caesar anymore.
* After escaping to Greece, Pompey had armies in Spain but they were too far away, so he started to build a new one in Greece. Caesar jokingly said: "To the west, I have an army without a commander; and to my east, I have a commander without an army". So he marched onto Spain first, not Greece. There he won the Battle of Ilerda against Spanish legions, which is his first major victory in Roman civil war. This was never mentioned in the series.
* In Egypt, Ptolemy and his advisors trapped Caesar in the Imperial Palace and had the Egyptian army riot and lay siege to the palace. This event was called Siege of Alexandria. Caesar sent letters everywhere begging for an army because he only had a little amount of legionnaires. Mithridates of Pergamum rushed with an army to his aid. There, they defeated Ptolemy faction and made Cleopatra the queen.
* By the way, Ptolemy and his advisors never knew where Cleopatra was. She was in countryside, having an internal strife against his brother for the throne. When Caesar started a arrived in Alexandria, Cleopatra saw this as an opportunity and went to Caesar only with a servant by her side. Caesar didn't sent soldiers to rescue Cleopatra as shown in the series.
* Cleopatra was not a junkie nymph with ADHD. She knew 7 languages including Egyptian. Royal dynasties had forgotten to speak Egyptian ages ago.
However, you definitely have fun, so the series deserve a solid 7/10; it would be higher if there were no horrible inaccuracies. How can you not like the scene where Caesar, while riding to Rome, commanding his army band: "Gracchus, something more cheerful!", and they start to play a Roman army music.
Detroit: Become Human (2018)
An honest review
Isn't it fun? To make your own decisions, dialogue choices; it's like writing the script of a movie as you go. Quantic Dream call this concept: interactive movie. I discovered this concept when I played the first Quantic Dream game in my life: Fahrenheit (a.k.a Indigo Prophecy). It was great, also a detective/criminal theme. Then Heavy Rain... A very good detective/criminal themed interactive movie again. Then came Beyond Two Souls, a disaster Quantic Dream tries to forget. Think about your worst nightmare, then make Ellen Page the main villain in that nightmare; Beyond Two Souls was that bad. So they returned to the the ol' detective/criminal genre again with an ugly twist! What is that ugly twist? The writers were liberal (you can understand this in many details in the game), so they had to come up with an idea to be added to a "manly" detective/criminal theme. They added a whimpery, tearjerker wannabe mother/daughter relationship for people who are getting high dose HRT. I think some of the writers were also on high dose of HRT or menopause; they ended up ruining the whole batch: Kara & Alice.
They are the most annoying couple in this game. I cringed in every scene. Alice is a teary eyed little girl whole movie "Oh Kara I'm cold!", "Oh Kara, I'm hungry!", "Oh Kara help me!"; Alice becomes redundant, becoming an annoying brat scene by scene. To add insult to injury, we play as Kara and spoil this little brat. Alice & Kara arc must've been written by someone who is getting high dose HRT or has ovaries. I don't have ovaries. Motherhood must be a wonderful feeling I get it, however this relationship between Alice and Kara is SO boring; everytime I finish Markus or Connor arc, I fear: "Is it time to play Kara & Alice again? OH PLEASE GOD NO!" My advice to the writers; stop taking drugs and estrogen treatment while writing a serious script, cut this crap out and have a detective/criminal genre between Connor and Markus, this production would en up much much better. My sincere advice for you players: kill Kara & Alice deliberately ithe beginning of the game and save yourself countless hours, and enjoy the real detective/criminal experience.
Sometimes you get unexpected results from the dialogue options. For example it says REALISTIC in the option, but when you choose it, a threatening line is said by our character. Or when game forces you to say things that you wouldn't be saying. Or there is a scene when playing Connor, our superior Hank says us not to kill an android; and when we don't do it, our character explains the situation as: "I looked in the android's eyes and saw there was life in it". I did it merely to obey Hank. This games forces certain choices on the player, it is called 'railroading', showing a one way road as multiple roads. For example: some of the many ways you play becomes evil in the end for no reason. Don't worry no spoilers.
Some liberal/SJW Bullscheiße that left a bitter aftertaste:
* They try to make illegal immigration look innocent and cute in Kara & Alice arc. You will realize what I mean when you get to the end.
* Although this game got released in 2018, guess whom they made the president of USA in game? HILLARY CLINTON. I'm not American, I don't care about American internal politics however how sore must you be that after Trump won the election in 2016, you make Clinton president in game.
* Male/female strip club... In one scene,Hank and Connor goes to a strip club and the strippers are %50 male %50 female; the customers are also fifty-fifty male/female. Has game developers ever gone to a strip club? There is no reality that this concept exists. There might be bisexual themed clubs however this is just nuts.
* When you kill "evil" policemen, they are all masked in order to show them "less human". When you should show mercy in certain scenes, there are no riot masks on the police to make them look "more human".
* In the android murder investigation case, we arrest an android and hold him in police station handcuffed. I probed into the memory of the android (much better evidence than confession), and treated him badly. The game punishes me in nonsensical ways: if you treat him bad the android grabs the poilceman's gun and shoots the robot investigator in the forehead in the most nonsensical scene you would ever watch. What the heck? We are scolded by our simian master "you f...'ed up by probing into the memory". This is forced didactism, The game forces the more direct and less compassionate ways as evil and jejune.
* The game railroads you into "androids are human". This is so called interactive however the game forces us into just 1 perspective.
Also hardcore sci-fi fans will HATE the AI in this game. The androids in this game are not androids, they are humans with light switches. Nonsense. We fight and struggle against humans in hand to hand combat. How can that be? Don't we have programs to have faster reflexes, knowing where to hit, etc.? They botched big time while writing the script of androids.
I'll tell you what's wrong with this "interactive movie" as the producers call it. In these type of productions; tons and tons of budget are poured at the beginning; months pass, the film crew is bored and the director approaches a deadline. In his mind, there is an ultimately ideal movie, which is impossible to shoot in real life. Our director realizes deadline has approached and they ran out of budget money; so he haphazardly collects our characters and make them clash and murder each other in an off-hand way; so boom ending is made with a poorly designed forced didactism. There you have it folks.
PS: You have to have a PS4, because you can't play it on PC. You can't play any Quantic Dream game on PC after Fahrenheit. I guess money tastes sweeter than other concepts so they accepted being a Sony exclusive.
Joker (2019)
HAH HAAH HAAAH HAAAAH HAAAAAH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAH! What?
Berate me new generation about what is funny. Is not-being-able-to-funny, funny? Is cringe comedy (bspw: Borat) really funny enough? Blend it with some pseudo-arthouse Bullsheiße and ta-da you have the movie Joker.
Normally; mentally challenged manchilds' stories are not favored by Hollywood too much, however this movie is an exception of this category. Joaquin Phoenix really succeeded to act as a mentally challenged character. I advise that the Academy Award would be given to him. I mean, aren't the new generation dumb enough to know the difference between Joker and Taxi Driver? Travis Scott ia also troubled but smart nonetheless.
The "HAH HAAH HAAAH HAAAAH HAAAAAH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAH!" laugh was used too much. Those would be peak points but if it's used in half of the sccenes, it would lose effect and starts to become boring. I cringed a lot in this movie, on how cheaply they tried to express an idea. Look at the girlfriend character of Joker! She was added because Joker wouldn't look like a loser. One can't manage to get the point.
Also, they squeezed in Batman character unnecessarily in a boring way. That's why I'm giving 4/10, not 5/10.
Joker (2019)
HAH HAAH HAAAH HAAAAH HAAAAAH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAH! What?
Berate me new generation about what is funny. Is not-being-able-to-funny, funny? Is cringe comedy (bspw: Borat) really funny enough? Blend it with some pseudo-arthouse Bullsheiße and ta-da you have the movie Joker.
Normally; mentally challenged manchilds' stories are not favored by Hollywood too much, however this movie is an exception of this category. Joaquin Phoenix really succeeded to act as a mentally challenged character. I advise that the Academy Award would be given to him. I mean, aren't the new generation dumb enough to know the difference between Joker and Taxi Driver? Travis Scott ia also troubled but smart nonetheless.
The "HAH HAAH HAAAH HAAAAH HAAAAAH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAH!" laugh was used too much. Those would be peak points but if it's used in half of the sccenes, it would lose effect and starts to become boring. I cringed a lot in this movie, on how cheaply they tried to express an idea. Look at the girlfriend character of Joker! She was added because Joker wouldn't look like a loser. One can't manage to get the point.
Also, they squeezed in Batman character unnecessarily in a boring way. That's why I'm giving 4/10, not 5/10.
Joker (2019)
HAH HAAH HAAAH HAAAAH HAAAAAH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAH! What?
Berate me new generation about what is funny. Is not-being-able-to-funny, funny? Is cringe comedy (bspw: Borat) really funny enough? Blend it with some pseudo-arthouse Bullsheiße and ta-da you have the movie Joker.
Normally; mentally challenged manchilds' stories are not favored by Hollywood too much, however this movie is an exception of this category. Joaquin Phoenix really succeeded to act as a mentally challenged character. I advise that the Academy Award would be given to him. I mean, aren't the new generation dumb enough to know the difference between Joker and Taxi Driver? Travis Scott ia also troubled but smart nonetheless.
The "HAH HAAH HAAAH HAAAAH HAAAAAH HAAAAAAH HAAAAAAAH!" laugh was used too much. Those would be peak points but if it's used in half of the sccenes, it would lose effect and starts to become boring. I cringed a lot in this movie, on how cheaply they tried to express an idea. Look at the girlfriend character of Joker! She was added because Joker wouldn't look like a loser. One can't manage to get the point.
Also, they squeezed in Batman character unnecessarily in a boring way. That's why I'm giving 4/10, not 5/10.
Solyaris (1972)
Just end my suffering
Ah! Russians! A really meanie sort of nation. You know the times when we were kids and looking at the world map and seeing that Russia was the biggest nation on the map and we said to ourselves "Wow! Russia is huge!". Of course this is directly related with their characters. If you know them in real life Russians really stand out from other nations in the process of thinking.
They make their art from the same part of their brain. So existentialist writers like Dostoyevski or nihilist directors like Tarkovski are born. Some of their works are enjoyable; like Stalker or Crime and Punishment. But this... This made me feel the real agony, this boring unintelligible piece of crap makes me filled of hatred originating from boredom. All the dialogues in this movie are in mumbled sound and dull, also tehy are mostly without a clear meaning. To hell with this movie.
Jerry Maguire (1996)
One of the unfortunate characters of Tom Cruise
Jerry Maguire... A movie which were almost going to be good (beyond a 6/10 maybe), started as a movie about life and competition, ended as a movie about cheap romance.
Tom Cruise is a talented actor. Most often I love his characters, especially the one in Eyes Wide Shut. His movies mostly get above average reviews from me. However this movie? Even Tom's acting can't save this garbage.
Romance with single mother and living the trip of being a step-father? This was not in my mind, I just wanted to enjoy the movie but it forces this garbage down my throat.
Die Rothschilds (1940)
More realistic than today's propaganda
This movie is much more realistic than what you see in movie theaters in USA. Just watch it and tell me which part of the movie you disagree. Germans even predicted the quasi-state Israel in the movie. There is no caricature of black and white, it is depicted as it is. The exact opposite happening in current Hollywood about how "USA won the war and defeated Germans". 8 out of 11 German soldiers fell while fighting against USSR, not USA.
Just think about this: in 1940, WW2 raging on, Germans made a movie about England, their arch-enemies. Even so, they don't depict English as caricature enemies. They are giving a message that their enemies are not English Folk. However David's Star at the end of movie projecting on England sums it all up.
Otoshiana (1962)
Anticlimax
Most people watch this movie after 'Suna no Onna' (Woman In The Dunes). Well, if you compare these 2 movies, the result would be defeat for Pitfall.
What is that? Story builds up, builds up, builds up and... Abruptly ends. There are question marks left over everything. No this is not a movie you can understand with watching it second time like 'Memento'.
I give 5 stars out of respect to the dead/alive ghastly effects for 1960s.
Suna no onna (1964)
Existential nihilism... Dreams don't come true
In the end, Japan had two choice. Surrender to USA or surrender to USSR. After Japan got defeated in World War 2 by superpowers, it had an existential crisis. All of Japan's previous ideals and culture about valor, honor, beauty wasn't enough in the face of unending demands of war. People of Japan looked through a despair induced insight and began to had existential questions about life itself and found solace in two types of movies in post WW2 era. First: historical movies. Japan found solace in living the nostalgia (Latin: ache of past), going back in time and escaping to the period of samurai and ascetic culture, free from worry all outside world and isolation for many centuries. Second: modern movies with existential philosophical undertones. Movies that question the innate meaning or meaningless of life and universe, in the face of bigger forces that affects our life; destiny, determinism. Suna no Onna - 'Woman in the Dunes' is in the second group. Which reflects the dark tone of melancholia and nihilism in an oriental way.
If I had a stone in my hand and when I say "If I drop the stone, it will land on here" would I be seeing the future? No, I just calculated a small amount of numbers: gravity, mass of the stone, friction of air, etc. and it is the result. What if I did that on a grand scale? Our whole lives. If we knew all of the factors that would affect our life from the beginning our birth, with enough calculations, can it be known where will we land when we die, like the stone we dropped? This is called determinism. It says, there is a destiny but not in a paranormal or supernatural way, gears of the universe is predetermined, with enough starting knowledge and calculation, where you end up in 1 year is not a possibility, it's a certainty. So if we have a predetermined destiny, then why do we struggle? Then everything is meaningless. Nothing will change it. Whatever we do, it is already predetermined. Then even the choice of suicide is a predetermined certainty, not a radical move that will make someone break free of bonds. Why live, why die? This is existential nihilism and makes the core of the movie and post-war mentality of Japan in a sand pit of despair.
Bugs crawling in the grains of sand. How meaningless in our eyes. However, we see the main character crawling in sand to escape the pit just like the sand bugs to no avail. Gravity pulls the sands in the pit and one has to actively work against it. Could the sand be same as the sand in the hourglass? Passing of time? How desperate to fight against it. We all had ideals in the childhood: we were going to move out of the country to some beautiful place where we would show our skills, we were going to have the best career option, meet the best people, choose the most beautiful and intelligent woman as wife, have perfect children. Dreams don't come true, even if it partially did, it's not the same in our minds where we built the ideal. Our real life is the pit of sand and outside is our ideals, and sand of time is pouring on our head. Once we get out of this pit, everything will be perfect and we will make our dreams come true. We're working this job we don't want, shoveling the sand and getting salary (rations) to buy alcohol and cigarette. However, there is no escape from pouring sand, grains of sand sticks on us when we eat, when we drink, when we have sex with a random woman. Seriously, when did we meet with this random woman and had sex, we'll break up with her once we get out of the pit, and find the perfect girl in our dreams. Time passed, we are still with this not ideal woman whom we call wife and this not ideal career which we call our job. Someone is responsible for our failed dreams, our inability to escape this pit of sand. Maybe it's this woman? Maybe we should punish her for our miseries, but to no avail. We burn the relics of our ideals (bug collection) and give up totally, then focus on the life in the pit. We improve our life in the pit not in our ideals, building a water collector under the sand.
Then like Pink Floyd sang: 10 years got behind you, a lot of time has passed. If the movie was over at this point, it would be neutral, however at the last scene we see our main character in the missing person list. After all, he wanted to have his name written on records, as he wanted in the beginning of the movie; he became successful with it and was recorded in history as a lost person, both mentally and physically.
In the end, the real you were outside the pit, the real you was your ideals. With wrong choices you failed to chase your ideals and stayed in the pit willingly and there is no one to blame but yourself. Nothing but a bug crawling in the sand.
This masterpiece is East's spit on the West's materialistic side, 1960s' pragmatism, Cold War and so called ideals. Nihilism on individual level.
Dersimiz: Atatürk (2010)
Milks real Ataturk followers' emotions
In Turkey we have a saying "Gardrop Ataturkcu", it means a closet minded person who is using Ataturk's name to his own gains. Those people filth their mouth by uttering the name of our glorious leader Ataturk.
There was an Ataturk movie madness during before and around 2010. There is Veda, Çanakkale movies, Mustafa documentary etc. Late Levent Kirca (peace be upon his soul) made a parody out of this people who show Ataturk as a commercial object in his 'Olacak O Kadar' show under the title of "Atam Çekimdeyiz", I suggest you watch it on Youtube. These media milked real Ataturk followers' emotions, while on the background, important events are occuring and Turkey going backwards in 2010. They all said they love Ataturk however when it came to act in 2010, they did nothing. When push comes to shove, these Sozde Ataturkculer are nowhere to be seen.
This movie poorly commercialized Ataturk made impersonation so bad it seems like a parody. Sprinkle half-famous people around this "movie", have them say how much they love Ataturk. Some old guy telling children story and live the same trip with them. This is not a movie, this is not a documentary. This is a haphazard school project where you cringe until you see your own kid's scene and want to leave afterwards when it finishes.
Her (2013)
Her ku$un eti yenmez
"Her" ku$un eti yenmez, in Turkish means: "Not every bird is edible." which means "There are certain tasks you can't accomplish, there are certain people that you can't bend against their will, etc."
In this movie we see loner Joaquin begging sympathy from auidience, much like "Lars and the Real Girl" and equally disturbing.
The story is about a manchild who can't process separation anxiety. Then he masturbates to a computer, then tells people around him he dates a robot, just like in my Japanese mangaku and animu. And you sit there watch this manchild trying to contemplate life with utter boredom and distraction. There are real people like this playing visual novels, falling in love with certain Japanese animated media.
My automatic bad film gauge says: "How many times you got distracted from the badness of movie? How many times you checked your watch, what time is it is, how many minutes until it's end, etc." This is one bad movie.
Seven Pounds (2008)
failure
This $55,000,000 budget movie makes you wonder why it costs so much money to film an absolute garbage of a movie. You will see Will Smith's existential crisis as an actor in the whole movie and you feel the same agony with him. Not because you sympathize with him, it's because this movie is horrendously boring.
The movie begins with Will Smith, calling 911, saying that he will commit suicide. Whatever you say goes, Will. There are chaotic web of people in this movie, Will Smith comes and goes with this Suited Up, Holding a Briefcase & Handing Out Justice Passive-Agressively type which I don't understand, who does your characters think they are? You play the same character in all movies, don't you Will? Anyways Will talks with this and that, an expensive car crash scene (hmm that explains movie's high budget), and oh boy the last SUICIDE WITH JELLYFISH FINALÉ. Wow I just can't handle this much Will Smith, I can't sympathize with you being a bad actor. Will, I think your acting career went down the drain with your son Jaden, hmm? Just a theory though.
Woody Harrelson, that son of a gun, he thinks he can hide from bad criticism. He always plays himself in the movies like Will, so he can do that: oh look at me, I'm blind and being bullied by passive-aggressive Will. Oh look I think I can do acting with making my face look dumb with mimics.
Oh also a female lead is a must, because Will has to sleep with her in the movie and look cool. Way to go Will, way to go. You are an exemplary artist. You should rename your movie to: 'Seven pounds of p**** I got, after shooting this movie'. I thank him, there had been very few movies worth of '1 star' in my watchlist. I thank Will for having a fresh movie to join my old '1 star list'. This isn't a thing many movies can do, be proud of it Will.
Underworld (2003)
World of Darkness
If you are interested in RPGs like myself, you've probably heard World of Darkness. This movie is basically a setting based on WoD. There are some positive and negative elements about this movie. The first half of the movie was mostly positive but it gets worse until the end.
*Story: Whether or not plagiarized from other materials (which is a disputed issue) it's a good story. Missions, betrayal, twists most of them leaves you with awe. There are some boring details about story however they don't get in the way of sequences.
*Setting: Dark world, everlasting night, war between lycans and vampires that's been raging on for centuries. Each have their characteristics and features. Immersive...
*Meaningless action sequences: I'm okay with action as long as it doesn't become absurd. Selene; without prior tactics, armed with only pistols killing 6 werewolves who are armed with assault rifles and ambushing her behind a door. People who are not main characters are shooting with precision of a deaf bat. There are lots of scenes like this, get used to it. Of course, Selene dropping to lower floor by shooting the ground and pack of lycans are not chasing after her; let's not forget that scene.
*Illogical details: Why is Viktor and Marcus who are the strongest vampires, lay in the catacombs defended only by one ordinary vampire who can be easily distracted by saying: "Hey, uh, Kraven is looking for you."? If vampires are meticulous about purity of their species and bloodlines why there is a black vampire managing the weapon department? Why, for the love of god, nobody awakened an elder vampire before and why Selene did it because of some paranoid thought which would most likely end up "Oops, I awakened you before your time, sorry about that." and cost her life.
Little details like these makes the movie's second half and some parts of first half insufferable, absolutely trash details. This could have been a masterpiece, but instead it chose to be an ordinary action film with an extraordinary setting.
The Interview (2014)
An American wet dream
You already know about 'the American way' to desecrate and dishonor every nation on this earth with sneaky political acts or black propaganda like The Great Dictator by Charlie Chaplin or B-class Cold War cheap action movies or this piece of filth. Granted that you know all about these, I want to talk about this cheap propaganda. Ironically bad movies or bad parodies don't justify their shoddiness.
First the publicity stunt. "The evil North Korean Empire is launching a cyber-attack, please help us by watching this movie" I wonder how many sheep Americans believed this story and went to theaters saying "Murica, f*** yeah! Lets show those Asians who is the boss!". People who fell for this cyber-attack trick are the worst kind of gullible sheep who have no idea about politics or American entertainment business who can sell their mother if it profits them.
About this movie... How should I express my hatred about it? Have you ever watched one of those North Korean propaganda videos about America, how they show American citizens starving? This movie is as cheap as those videos; even cheaper.
The arrogant Yankees go to North Korea with the order of CIA and that hot chick agent and show them how it's done the American way. They humiliate a nation, play basketball with Kim Jong-un, they play tricks spy tricks on him, they assassinate him with fireworks, stop the nuke until it's 1 second till they launch, they start a revolution and finally bring democracy and save the day again! Also that guy gets the Korean chick at the end because chicks dig the alpha male 'Muricans! North Korean soldiers betray their country immediately because of tongue-in-cheek jokes and American pop music made their leader cry and defecate his pants; now folks, that's the American WAY, DEMOCRACY, F*** YEAH! Anybody whose IQ is higher than their shoe size should be disturbed by this movie and how this movie got so popular with that publicity stunt.
'MURRICA F*** YEAH!
Recep Ivedik 2 (2009)
A fully misunderstood movie
First of all I love the character "Recep" and I mean it. These film series are heavily misunderstood. People see Recep as a sloppy and pointless character. But he is not. He is one of the best example of anti-heroes; Like Tyler Durden (Fight Club), like Tuco (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly) or like Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver). He is an anarchist, he doesn't want to obey the unwritten rules of the society, he doesn't want to surrender to the conformist way of the everyday life. And he, represents the socially awkward people like us, struggling with our problems.
Acting is perfect in the movie. Every character, every extra used in this movie is acting so natural. You feel like you know them, you feel like they are your friends; with joy, sorrow and many other emotions. You feel like Recep, whatever he does.
I think this movie is more satire than comedy, but the comedy part shines more. The movie plot is against rules of society and the vessel is comedy.
I say buy this movie if you love comedy and satire.