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Reviews
The International (2009)
Boooooooooooring
So much for this being the thriller to watch if you don't like thrillers. I like all kinds of movies except one: long boring ones. And one of my favourite films is The English Patient! That's how boring this film is. Even Clive Owen thinks it's boring that's why he could hardly be bothered to act during the whole thing. Except when he got so frustrated he just acted angry. Save yourself two looooong hours of trying to stay awake and watch something else. I assure you you won't even care what the 'bad guys' are conspiring to do! I'll concede that the ending was a little exciting but after waiting an hour and a half for it, it just didn't seem worth it. I wish I had spent my evening re-watching the terminator movies and picking plot holes in Terminator Salvation like I had planned.
Johnny Was (2006)
Yet another slap in the face
Well, what can I say? I think the past 3 or so reviews pretty much summed up all my grievances. I feel so peeved off though from having wasted the past 90-odd minutes of my life that I can't resist ranting. Like the rest of you, I watched this movie because of the good 'reviews'. I watched the film and agree with what has already been said - crap casting, script, direction, etc. So there's no point in me re-hashing the past reviews. But throughout the film, the same thought went through my mind - 'This guy's Northern Irish accent is appalling. And, he's talking utter rubbish'. Being from Belfast myself, as soon as I see Northern Irish characters in a film I brace myself for the impending insult that is generally the complete slur on my fellow Northern Irish with pathetic stereotypes and even worse attempts at accents (Charlies Angels 2 being a particular treat - that guy uttered one line and the whole cinema erupted in laughter. In fact the only time I've been impressed by an actor's accent is Anna Friel and David Thewlis). And this film was no different. Throwing around words like Gobshite and Craic does NOT mean you can do a Northern Irish accent dear. If it did my English boyfriend who moved here would be considered a local. If you want to see good Irish cinema, check out Man About Dog (the REAL 'Irish Snatch') or Mickey Bo and Me, Divorcing Jack, An Everlasting Piece etc etc. And by ALL means, avoid any so-called Northern Irish film that doesn't have Northern Irish actors. Or at least, that has Vinnie Jones being required to be anything other than the strong, silent-type.
Date Movie (2006)
Oh dear lord!
Before I saw this movie I checked out its reviews on IMDb and read the one above this. I thought, "it couldn't be that bad, it looks funny in the ads" and I went to see it tonight. And, well. I wish I had listened to the previous review. Now I am NOT a discerning movie viewer. I am rarely the person who says "that was crap". Usually, I'll like a thing even if it sucks. I'll say "well. It had its moments". But this movie. No way. It was so bad I was tempted to ask for my money back. I barely laughed once, mind you, the 12-year-olds in the row in front laughed plenty at the fart jokes, but frankly, I'd seen better. I have an older brother. If anyone reading this hasn't seen the movie, and are a bit like me - would be inclined to give it the benefit of the doubt - then well, see for yourself. I doubt I can stop you. But don't say I didn't warn you. For the rest of you reading this review and would be guided by it I say buy yourself a carry-out and eat up safe in the knowledge your money was well spent.