"i know lizards. alligators and crocodiles are mortal enemies."
The first 5 minutes have to be among the funniest TV ever created. There is no introduction, no dialogs, just getting down to action filled business. It actually just starts with these words from the large breasted head scientist: "everybody out now. it's escaped." than a wall just explodes and the SUPERgiant SUPERcgi SUPERgator dashes after some white suited "scientists". one of the scientist screams while being swallowed whole with one bite and the subtitles actually say: "Ah!". That was at least a three A scream. There even is a slow motion sequence of the SUPERgator snatching for some sweet sciency meat. Meanwhile the large breasted one phones Kung Fu to establish the "real" monster. (humanity? who would have thought?!) Shortly after that another wall explodes and DINOcroc joins the party. So absurd, so surreal, I laughed my ass off.
The same scene is later used again, this time in black and white for a flashback. It was even funnier.
There are some scenes that have to make their way into the hilarious horror hall of fame.
1. the waterfall scene. not only gets the guy snatched by the SUPERgator from below while standing knee deep in a puddle, but also the girl doesn't hear a 10 foot high DINOcroc sneaking up from behind. Amazing!!
2. here comes the cavalry. black-suits, of course. except one, who wears camouflage. my explanation is: they ran out of costumes, so they got one that was laying around from another movie. another evidence for this is that they have a strange assortment of weaponry. also, the way how they fire their guns is ridiculous, the black guy keeps jiggling it like crazy, right before he and one other call for extraction conveniently standing with their backs to a body of water...
3. the whirlpool scene. some wishful thinking there. A rich Horror director with two busty ladies? He should have gone all the way and call the guy Jim Wynorski.
4. the sheriff's death. they use the same cgi footage of the croc running past the strange brown shag THREE TIMES with only seconds between. it takes the lightning fast SUPERgator, who can at other times outrun a car exactly 60 (!) seconds to cross the 5m gap. That was so amazing, when the daughter tried to pull her father away, i was on the floor dying of laughter.
5. the showdown. you just have to see it to believe it. all i can say is this: when the dinosaurs try to take over the world again, we'll have some sugar ready.
In short: amazing entertainment, you cant tell me that SyFy doesn't want these movies to be exactly like this.
Part Horror! Part Comedy! All Awesome!
and watch out. on SyFy, later this year, it is PIRANHACONDA. Part Snake! Part Fish! All Killer! F*ck Yeah.
The first 5 minutes have to be among the funniest TV ever created. There is no introduction, no dialogs, just getting down to action filled business. It actually just starts with these words from the large breasted head scientist: "everybody out now. it's escaped." than a wall just explodes and the SUPERgiant SUPERcgi SUPERgator dashes after some white suited "scientists". one of the scientist screams while being swallowed whole with one bite and the subtitles actually say: "Ah!". That was at least a three A scream. There even is a slow motion sequence of the SUPERgator snatching for some sweet sciency meat. Meanwhile the large breasted one phones Kung Fu to establish the "real" monster. (humanity? who would have thought?!) Shortly after that another wall explodes and DINOcroc joins the party. So absurd, so surreal, I laughed my ass off.
The same scene is later used again, this time in black and white for a flashback. It was even funnier.
There are some scenes that have to make their way into the hilarious horror hall of fame.
1. the waterfall scene. not only gets the guy snatched by the SUPERgator from below while standing knee deep in a puddle, but also the girl doesn't hear a 10 foot high DINOcroc sneaking up from behind. Amazing!!
2. here comes the cavalry. black-suits, of course. except one, who wears camouflage. my explanation is: they ran out of costumes, so they got one that was laying around from another movie. another evidence for this is that they have a strange assortment of weaponry. also, the way how they fire their guns is ridiculous, the black guy keeps jiggling it like crazy, right before he and one other call for extraction conveniently standing with their backs to a body of water...
3. the whirlpool scene. some wishful thinking there. A rich Horror director with two busty ladies? He should have gone all the way and call the guy Jim Wynorski.
4. the sheriff's death. they use the same cgi footage of the croc running past the strange brown shag THREE TIMES with only seconds between. it takes the lightning fast SUPERgator, who can at other times outrun a car exactly 60 (!) seconds to cross the 5m gap. That was so amazing, when the daughter tried to pull her father away, i was on the floor dying of laughter.
5. the showdown. you just have to see it to believe it. all i can say is this: when the dinosaurs try to take over the world again, we'll have some sugar ready.
In short: amazing entertainment, you cant tell me that SyFy doesn't want these movies to be exactly like this.
Part Horror! Part Comedy! All Awesome!
and watch out. on SyFy, later this year, it is PIRANHACONDA. Part Snake! Part Fish! All Killer! F*ck Yeah.
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