Change Your Image
therearecows
Reviews
Crank: High Voltage (2009)
Favorite Action Movie of all Time!!!!
To be honest, I was hoping this would be better then the relatively bland original movie. I have now watched this movie 7 times consecutively and cannot stop. This movie shattered my entire universe! I have yet to find another movie that can compare to this gem! Yeah, as Jason Statham himself said, this won't win an Oscar. But in the wide spectrum of things, does that really matter? Hell no! I have watched Academy Award Winning movies, and turned them off midway. Entertainment is really what I am looking for in movies. Wasn't that the point of this media, to enjoy? This movie delivers. If you yawned the whole way through any new action movie to date, give this one a go. Yeah, if over-the-top action is not your forte, definitely skip this one. It is in no way a good movie, just an AMAZING one. Critics got this movie totally wrong. This deserves major merits for everything it attempted. This is a must watch movie before you die, without a doubt.
Hollow Man (2000)
Completely Bland, Ridiculous Movie
I'll be honest, I thought there was some hope for this movie in the first 10 minutes. It might turn out all right, I thought to myself. Turns out I was completely deluding myself. This has to be one of the most ridiculous plot lines of all time. *Spoiler* The guy goes insane practically at the snap of your fingers in the movie, then survives multiple hits to the head (while the attackers are killed after one hit), being set on fire, and dumped into a fire pit of sorts, until all that is left of him is muscle and organs, and still survives? Terrible, terrible plot. I guessed the ending 30 minutes into the movie, and was completely correct. The only possible redeeming quality of this movie was the CGI, which could almost hold up to today's standards. Very impressive. Too bad they didn't pair it to go with a good plot.
Hot Rod (2007)
Fantastic Comedy
I was forced with the difficult decision, one fine day in Blockbuster, to decide between renting Hot Rod or The Ring. I had already seen the ring, but Hot Rod looked pretty bad. I did, however, want to see how bad Hot Rod was. I have a strange love towards terrible movies. Imagine my surprise, then, when I started watching and was laughing in the first 20 seconds of the movie. I couldn't leave this movie. I watched it 3 times consecutively, and couldn't stop. I do not exaggerate when I tell you that this is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Even my friends were doubtful when I told them we had to rent it. At the end, however, everybody was thanking me for introducing them to such a fantastic comedy. Of course, if you aren't a teenager, or somebody with a penchant for ridiculous humor, then this movie will not be for you WHATSOEVER. But if you are looking for some humor along the lines of Bill and Ted's excellent adventure, then look no further.
The Losers (2010)
Nice Surprise
I honestly didn't believe this was going to be a good movie. I'll be honest, I just didn't want to sneak into Kick-Ass. So I went to see this movie with another skeptical friend... and we were literally blown away. At the end of the movie, neither of us talked. My friend eventually broke the silence by stating the simple fact. "This movie was... good?" I really can't remember another movie where I laughed as hard as this one, bar Hot Rod. I was blown away at how underrated this movie is. Sure, the plot is cheesy, but pleasantly so. But what really made this movie for me was how seriously it took itself. That is, not at all. If you love the ridiculous tongue-in-cheek moments in movies, this is the movie for you. Really, anybody who loves action movies that aren't dead serious and have some legitimately funny moments should watch this movie. I am actually going next week to watch it again. They should have had a better advertising campaign, as I had no clue what this movie was about before I watched it. It simply doesn't do the movie justice whatsoever. If anybody was put off by the advertisements, need not fear. This is a fantastic movie.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)
Absolutely Terrible
This movie was a terrible movie, even for children. I am 15 and had to bring my younger brother to this. Even he didn't enjoy this movie. Watch the three chipmunks attempt to "survive" high school. It boggles my mind that people are still pretending that high school is a huge threat. It really isn't anywhere near how bad these unimaginative scriptwriters and directors believe it to be. you love exhausted and clichéd plot-lines, shallow teenage stereotypes, numerous plot-holes galore, and an endless stream of fart and belch jokes, you still won't watch this movie. I wouldn't even recommend this to fans of the original, which was probably about five times better then this garbage. A useless movie that maybe should have been released straight to DVD at best.