Reviews

He: From the beginning, the movie does a great job pulling out all the scary sound effects clichés. For me, the bit that had me on edge the most was the crying baby. That would make even the hardest criminal crack. Though there were some good scary flashes, I could stand to see more of the scary guy a bit and was a bit disappointed that no one died in the movie. Sorry, the psychic woman doesn't count as a human being. Oh, and by the way, once you mention astral projection, I'm thinking less about horror and more about a D&D campaign where I'm rolling a D-20 die to winnnnn!

She: I like movie on the whole. It's unexpecting! I did not expect they would move to another house. I thought that the house was haunted. The mother is beautiful, the father is cute, but I don't understand the ghost. Random ghosts, like, appearing from nowhere, and especially the demon. Why the demon? That is not related to a ghost story whatsoever. But then again it kinda makes sense in the end. In the end it gave me a kinda a creep.

Kaiguo: OK movie but nothing new. Kind of projection of several other movies I've seen before. Babies crying, doors creaking, know what I mean?

He: 5 She: 7

He: Even though this movie trots out Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street), Richard Riehle (Office Space), and dozens of New Orleans boobies, I found myself more tickled than scared. This movie is truly a cliché amongst the horror movie genre. We have every horror movie stereotype represented and lined up for your slaughtering pleasure: The edgy, misunderstood girl. The cool yet nerdly guy with a heart of gold. The token Afro-American guy (you know they almost never survive horror movies). The elderly couple. The T&A girls. The middle aged pervert. And the token Asian guy (the Cantonese lines her shrieks were pure comic gold). While I thoroughly appreciated the gratuitous and graphic violence, at times it was so over the top, it was more funny than horrific. The comedic effect of this movie ruined the horror experience for me, despite having tons of blood/guts/boobs and the "Jump to Conclusions Mat/People Person" guy from Office Space getting his head ripped off.

She: I like this movie. It definitely kept me awake. It was funny yet scary. I like that it introduced me to New Orleans culture. I laughed a few times, at least. It made me nervous and made my feet sweat. I recommend this movie to whoever like horror and comedy.

He = 7, She = 8

He: The tale of the hapless out-of-towners getting lured in by lesbonic Nazi chicks and their grunting psycho older brother-boyfriend thing is tired and overdone. Yeah, we do like senseless, pointless torturous violence, but this movie seemed like it lacked serious motivational madness until the Nazi daddy came onto the scene. At that point, the pointless torture and homicide began to make sense. I'm not sure how the CHUDlike cave dwelling half-breed offspring fit in, and their inclusion was a stretch. What kept me coming back was the creative violence and torture.

She: The first 15 minutes of the movie were totally not necessary. What do riots have to do with choppin' Nazis? This was the most bloody movie ever. Violent, bloody, disturbing, terrifying. Good plot. Horror in the movie never ends, and the movie never ends either.

(Average rating between the woman and I, for once we actually agree on a rating)

He: OK, so quick cut macabre cinematography in the beginning of the movie does a great job in capturing my attention every time. Add to that an insane asylum (complete with requisite crazy folks), a creepy mannish nurse, and one or two hotties for sexual tension, and you have the ingredients for a sufficiently watchable horror movie. Yeah, as one would predict, the movie contains the overly predictable twist which you're not supposed to predict. The overall plot is a bit ... um ... thin, but thankfully horror movies don't need too much of that. It gets in the way of the killing.

She: I love this kind of movie. The psychological part is great. House of madness. The plot is very interesting, actually. It's out of my expectation in the end. Above all, it's a very good movie. If you are into twisted and puzzling movies, this would be your number one choice. You never know what is gonna happen.

Combined average: 1.5

He: We had to turn it off. I know it's time to surrender and pick another movie when my woman is in my face pushing on my chest and begging me to shut the movie off. When it comes to movies, if I'm in for a penny, I'm in for a pound, no matter how bad it is. Unfortunately, I cannot override the woman's final decision. The only reason the movie got a 2 was because there was nice cleavage debuted at some point during the somewhat-too-long ramp up to plot development.

She: I hated this movie from the start. I hate vampire movies so much. It just makes no sense. A bunch of weird people are wearing weird costumes in the basement. Why? Do not respect this kind of movie. Just shut up.

(Overall average score between Mark and Yanni)

Mark = 5 Yanni = 7

He: This movie was dreck. You wait and wait for the violence, and then when it finally happens, it leaves you thinking "WTF just happened and why?" And I don't mean "why" like "wow this is puzzling, show me more," it's more like a totally senseless non sequitor WTF where you continue watching in utter disbelief of the crap you just experienced. The only reason I rated it as high as I did was because the family, totally neurotic and dysfunctional, made me laugh a few times. Watching them come unbuttoned was the most entertaining piece of the movie. I mean, seriously, do all teenage boys carry around marijuaua and porn mags with them on Christmas trips, stopping in the woods to cure their hormonal urges? Hmm, maybe ...

She: I liked this movie. I felt that the plot was kinda unique and tells the whole story. I don't know how to say it but the director has good imagination ... to me. The way the family talked to one another was hilarious to me. But the ghost sucked.