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Ironclad (2011)
2/10
a horrible shaky-cam mess
27 December 2013
I haven't read all of the reviews, but I am baffled that those I did read didn't mention the biggest and most glaring problem with this movie: the laughably extreme shaky-cam action scenes.

I gave it a 2 out of 10 because of the good production values and a good recreation of how those times looked like, but the action is pretty much unwatchable and the writing is just bad, but I wouldn't have minded that if I would have gotten good action scenes.

It is just an disorientating flurry of shaking images and quick cuts and often I couldn't even tell what was happening. Even small action scenes without gore effects, like a short fist fight between two of the "heroes" are filmed as if the DP would have had an epileptic seizure and as if the stunt men would have been so shitty that the editor decided to hide what they were doing as much as possible.

I'd like to ask the other reviewers: Who cares about the historical inaccuracies when I can't even see the movie I'm watching?

Even other stupid mistakes that reveal a shocking ineptitude of the director and writer, like making "the heavy" (the Danish mercenary leader) look weak and inept in his very first fight at the beginning of the movie, are hardly worth mentioning. It is a bit like complaining about a hair in my soup after the waiter just puked all over my table. I just mention it because it shows that the guy making this movie wasn't just a misguided shaky-cam fetishist, but really simply doesn't know what he is doing.

This is just a huge waste of good actors, costumes and other production values. Like giving a Fabergé Egg to a toddler and watching him destroy it.

Even the dialog scenes are filmed badly, in unnecessary close ups that give you a feeling of claustrophobia, even when the scenes take place outside, under open skies. It really is baffling because it seems as if the director and the DP tried their very best to show the audience as little as possible of all the great looking sets, locations, landscapes and costumes they were given to work with.
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7/10
caught me off guard and I liked it
5 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I'm generally a fan of Zombie stories and I'm not riding the "I'm so sick of Zombies!"-bandwagon yet. Most Zombie movies are very cheaply made C-Movie trash, so I really appreciate a Zombie movie with high production values and a capable cast with a well known lead. The fact that it caught me off guard and I didn't even know it was a Zombie movie made it even better. From the plot summary I expected the threat to be a more conventional disease, or a alien monster, or some incorporeal force (like in "Sphere") or alien technology, or a crazy crew member. As a Zombie connoisseur I also appreciate that they managed to create a new, intelligent and fast kind of Zombie that is still as creepy and single minded as the classical Romero type. Many other reviewers here criticized the movie as being derivative, but I don't see it. The only other "Space Zombie" movie I know of is "Life Force" and it has pretty much nothing in common with that one. It would have been derivative if the threat would have been one of the other options I listed above. Like I said, I'm not sick of Zombies yet, but I can understand people who are, so I understand how another Zombie movie could put people off, especially one like this that doesn't advertise itself as a Zombie movie and comes out of the left field, but this one is such a rarity with its high production value, the good cast, good acting, suspense, drama and a A List (I think) lead actor who doesn't seem unhappy about being in the movie, as Brad Pit does in "World War Z".
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