Reviews

I've long held a great fondness for genre cinema that lays the bite on a family. I suppose because family is about the most primal, fundamental structure in society so if you really get pulling on those teeny tiny strings you can make the whole edifice feel like it's in trouble. Of course such films come in every shape and size, from the everything will be fine and nobody was ever in much danger types right through to the family itself as trunk of rot and ooze types. The Strange and Deadly Occurrence sticks mostly on the light side of the genre, but through swift pace, smart direction and determination to put everyone through the ringer with very little downtime, it manages to be a definite winner. The story is as simple as they come, a happy family in a beautiful new house are plagued by rapidly escalating unusual and menacing events. Something doesn't want them there, but why? ...Well to be honest the why isn't all that interesting. No great twists and turns, nothing too unusual or imaginative. Pretty commonplace actually. Also it renders some of what has gone before even more unlikely than it already was. Doesn't matter much though, as this is pretty small scale stuff with little in the way of ambition, just standard tightly composed TV movie thrill-chiller territory. The ending wraps everything up in suitably suspenseful fashion there are some good scares and the acting is on the mark. Robert Stack (Airplane) plays the head of the house well, determinedly hanging on in the face of the unknown but still considerate towards his wife and daughter, never brash nor intemperate but not weak either. The sort of guy you can relate to really. Vera Miles (Psycho) is equally good as his wife, somewhat more cowed by affairs but never hysterical or even especially nervous, holding herself together for the good of all. Margaret Willock comes off well as the daughter of the piece as well, the sort of role that usually drags but she manages to be perfectly likable. They work well together, and their convincing mounting fear gives the jolts that little extra push. As far as the jolts go, they are all fairly tame but a couple make their mark well, and the whole affair is boosted by quality direction from veteran John Llewellyn Moxey (City of the Dead), including various adeptly gripping sequences of fluid, roaming point of view camera-work rather similar to that of a slasher. So, as it all comes together, a decent diverting affair with some fine moments. Like most of its ilk it isn't likely to make too much of an impression on latter day audiences, being the sort of thing that mostly just freaked out kids watching it when it first aired, but its very much a solid affair and well worth a watch for fans of the eras TV chiller programming.

So this one middle class businessman seeming type named Clay Howard wants to drop out of the rat race, and after a little celebration, Splat! Ka-pow!, near fatal car crash. He winds up with a metal plate in his head and his wife and he go on a bit of a recuperation vacation. Stopping in a small town, they stay a couple of nights, enjoy pleasant rural company and good food at the local diner, purchase a lovely Art Deco lamp for a song at a local antiques store, then head on their way having experienced a delightful rest in rural Americana. Actually, there's weird sh!t going on. Sorry to disappoint fans of films about cookery and antiquing, this probably isn't for you. Though thinking about it, like cookery and antiquing it does offer some interest and mild thrills, so maybe it is a good recommendation. But yeah, weird sh!t is going on. I have to give Night Slaves some credit, it goes for some thing different to the many devil cult/political conspiracy/murder set up explanations so popular at the time, though not entirely original it does make a nice change. Also interestingly, the mystery of what's going on plays out with intrigue rather than menace, an enticing but inconsequential puzzle that largely avoids the standard escalating paranoid tension. It's a film favouring reason and acceptance, an approach that raises some moral problems that are never resolved but does give it a nicely unconventional yet very much of its time vibe. On the other hand the general lack of tension means that the film is far more likely to bore people, and the actors have to work harder. Happily the cast do well in selling events, James Franciscus may not bring much depth to Clay but his matinée good looks and easy charm make him a pleasant protagonist, and he is neatly balanced out by Lee Grant as his fretful and nervous wife, cagily watching a situation play out that she never even intended getting into in the first place. The two have good chemistry and an effective charge to their more dramatic moments, and the rest of the cast support them well, most notably Leslie Nielsen as the local Sheriff, a sturdy and realistic type who wants no trouble, just to get to the bottom of things, as well as oddball character acting legend Andrew Prine as a local weirdo who ends up playing a bigger role than expected and the lovely Tisha Sterling as a mysterious girl who may hold the key to proceedings. So the cast and the general interest of the film hold it together for a pretty solid 70 minutes or so, but it isn't the most memorable, thought provoking or exciting of films. Probably only recommended to science fiction and made for television buffs, and not at all bad as such, just a little above average.

As my experience of the era grows I find that early 70's made for TV genre fare mostly tends to follow the same pattern, a modish premise well wrought at a youth friendly yet still often scary level, with tight, self contained storytelling reminiscent of classic pulp short writing. Deadly Dream is a bit of an anomaly in that while its basic story is slim and contained, the underlying concepts are enough to power a serious minded science fiction feature if the right hands took hold of them. Mind manipulation, conservative versus utilitarian approaches to the future, concepts of pre-crime prevention and the strange and chilling permeability of the walls between sleep and our reality, there's a whole lot going on in Deadly Dream, so much that for all its basic thrills (and it does contain one genuinely shocking and intense sequence towards the end), one is left wondering that it might have been a lasting classic rather than the obscurity that it is today. This disappointment aside, there's plenty to like about Deadly Dream. It moves like a bullet, with intriguing incidents mounting a sense of paranoia with grace as well as speed. Though predictable, there's a cold, unnerving vibe to it that works well and the general lack of compromise to the tale does the vibe justice. The main players do very well with Lloyd Bridges as the lead, a scientist hopeful and determined but buckling steadily as his drive comes up against that which he cannot understand. Janet Leigh is equally fine as his wife, confusion curdling into fear, slowly harrowed yet never without an underlying sympathetic support. Then there's effective menace from Don Stroud and Richard Jaeckel, and more sympathy from Lief Erickson as an older scientist, cautioning but helpful and kind. So with the general actorly commitment and solid direction this is a decent little thriller, but the gap between what is and what might have been is so great its a difficult film to fully like. Worth a watch then, but don't set your expectations too high.

Another well honed TV horror production here, in fact possibly my favorite so far of my present quest. Haunts of the Very Rich is one of those films that rather defies reviewers, the climax is all important yet a cliché set in stone even in its own era, to comment on how the film becomes truly effective would spoil it for those who didn't already figure it out, and to say much about the hints and murmurs of chill that come before would spoil those little details for those who guessed what was going on from the outset but still aimed to be surprised by the films smaller mechanisms. Most of the reviews here make the film somewhat to obvious, so I will simply say that the plot sees seven strangers journey to a luxury resort, wherein the luxury soon becomes something else entirely. The film thrives on character and precisely measured tension, taking some two thirds of its runtime to move up through the gears before the final surge. The writing is often melodramatic, but the cast sells it very well, Lloyd Bridges touching as a lothario with an actual heart, slick superficiality slipping away in likable fashion, Cloris Leachman falls in convincing love, Anne Francis pulls off powerful dejected pathos, Edward Asner brings class to what could have been a bland cliché and Moses Gunn hits the right mellow yet subtly devious notes as the resort host. Now all this class goes a good distance towards keeping the film a solid watch, but it has to be said that things really don't get too noteworthy until the 50 minute mark or so. There are creepy vibes but only one or two jolts, things really are pretty subdued and get going just in time to stave off tedium. However when it all does come together the film becomes a rather terrific affair, genuinely chilling and surprisingly emotional, an ideal reward for what has come before. So all in all this one may not be perfect but as far as its kind go its pretty darned spiffing, essential viewing for TV horror fans and just plain pulp enthusiasts (for the classic story and unexpected touches). So a solid 7/10 from me, but will obviously not be to all tastes.

While falling very much on the melodrama side of things as opposed to aiming for much in the way of overt shocks or scare tactics, She Waits holds together pretty well in its way, building pleasurably to a suitably fraught final block. The plot is simple, David (Ilya Kuryakin) McCallum takes his lovely new wife home to see his mother and work through some of his own issues, only for said mother to stir up the past and his wife's own neuroses into a foaming brew of the possibly supernatural. Actually for much of the time the film could simply be called something like The Menace of the Meddling Mother In-Law, as generally the point of whether or not something paranormal is going on is kept ambiguous, while the fact that the mother is doing no good is beyond question. Still, a quality turn from Dorothy McGuire keeps her character interesting if not beyond cliché, one gets the feeling of genuine fear and torment roiling away inside her, the feeling that she really is doing what she thinks best and exists in a sphere of isolation permitting no outside force to change her mind. It's a decent performance and she has great chemistry with Patty Duke as the beleaguered new wife Laura. Duke captures very well a sense of restless curiosity, steady mounting insecurity and eroding personality, malleable mind within fragile beauty. David McCallum on the other hand is very much a weak link, his acting borders on the somnambulant for most of the film, only developing a noticeable pulse and positive action in the final block, in which he does redeem himself somewhat. The scares are too thin on the ground and the details of the plot are left rather undeveloped, not that I mind having the nitty gritty left to the imagination but I definitely prefer to have a few more hints. Still, there are a few chills and the flowing camera-work gives a nicely foreboding atmosphere to the dark and daunting house in the the majority of the films action is set. Overall I'd say this is a worthy little diversion for fans of this sort of film, though it lacks much in the way of spectacle or thrills and isn't even all that tense, it keeps fairly compelling with its drama and is an admirably sincere and serious entry in a genre which was well on its way to collapsing into the swamps of camp long before this film was made. A fair 6/10 from me, though definitely a film for those already predisposed to enjoy it.

It's pretty rare that I watch simple, straightforward thrillers, let alone particularly enjoy them, so She Cried Murder was quite a treat to me. As simple as they come, without a speck of fat, this is lean, keen stuff even by made for television standards, clocking in at around 66 minutes in length, a good six or seven minutes shorter than the average. The action starts immediately with model Sarah Cornell witnessing a man push a lady to her death in front of a subway train, and her nightmare really begins when encounters said murderer later, the nefarious individual being rather keen to keep her quiet after having seen her see him. From then on the film takes the form of a constant chase, mixed with a dash of paranoia and a few explanatory digressions providing context without slowing down the main pulse. The lovely Lynda Day George makes a good fist of the main role, she isn't the most convincing as an actress but looks the part and throws herself into the action with an agreeable determination that grows effectively frayed and desperate as her pursuer proves frightening tenacious. Telly Savalas is excellent as said pursuer, playing things low key, soft faced and even superficially charming, he menaces through the contrast of his actions and demeanour rather than playing things up as a baddie and is all the better for it. Nobody else really has big enough roles to make an impression, but Mike Farrel (BJ from M.A.S.H.) does have a nice turn as a sympathetic police officer. There's little more to say about this that would stray into the realms of spoilers, but director Herschel Daughtery does a sterling job with both the pace and set pieces, there are several moments of seat edge suspense and the finale is a minor marvel. At times the film is even somewhat reminiscent of Italian gialli, though the film only very seldom approaches the same heights of style and has almost none of the same twisted verve. As one might expect of a made for television production things are rather tame, and there are one or two nagging loose ends, but on the whole this is a splendid ride, one that never wears out its excitement and is hence well worth a look for vintage thriller fans.

A solid step ahead for director Curtis Harrington and writer Robert Bloch from their collaboration on The Cat Creature, The Dead Don't Die is a delightfully unhinged and at times surprisingly chilling supernatural mystery, hearkening this time back to the 1930's but doing rather better in capturing the anything goes pulp serial atmosphere of that time. The story has Navy man on leave Don Drake on a mission to clear his brother's name, said brother having been executed for apparently killing his wife. On the trail he gets warned off by strange beauty Vera LaValle, and comes to find that something really rather bizarre is going on. Now although it's been more than a decade since I read Bloch's original story so I can't compare writing and adaptation, but Harrington expertly captures the surreal and melodramatic night- realm of great 20th century horror. Barely any scenes take place in daylight even when the timeline seems to indicate that they should, but the film makes all this night-time scrambling seem perfectly natural, as if the film takes place in some strange, half dreamt but grimly real region where light itself is unnatural and solutions or escape fleeting. Though the story ultimately comes down to traditional zombies stretched into a slightly ill conceived conspiracy, the general atmosphere and smattering of creepy details (like skin crawling dance marathon moments) brings the film into quality disturbing psychotronic territory. The generally great performances do a great deal as well of course, George Hamilton bringing things together as a rock solid, faithful and committed man steadily harrowed by strange circumstance, Reggie Nalder giving real heft to a traditional ghoul role, Ray Milland wearing his tired, worn and corrupt character with easy style and not a little sympathy, and Linda Cristal evocative as the haunted beauty of the film. The pace is somewhat measured and the set pieces (such as they are) evenly spaced, so those seeking swift gratification will surely be disappointed, and the sadly fairly poor quality of most copies of the film currently in circulation may well put off others, but for the dedicates of this kind of cinema, The Dead Don't Die is a definite winner. It's a great example of traditional zombie horror at a time when the Romero paradigm was close to taking over, the cast is classy and the scares still resonant despite the lack of any gruesome or outré shocks. All in all a solid 7/10 from me, highly recommended to fans of this sort of thing.

The first made for television collaboration between Psycho scribe and all round pulp horror titan Robert Bloch with classy b-horror veteran Curtis Harrington, The Cat Creature is a charming if inconsequential affair that neither reaches the levels of its influences nor surpasses its status as a made for television production, but is still perfectly good stuff for a dull afternoon left sparing. The outlandish plot sees an antique theft from a deceased collector result in the release of a murderous acolyte of the Egyptian cat goddess Bast, and cop Lieutenant Marco teaming up with Professor Roger Edmonds to figure out what's going on. Then there's occult shop owner Hester Black and her assistant Rena Carter getting involved in things as well. The vibe hearkens back to horror and detection stories of yesteryear, particularly the 1940's and Cat People, with a measured pace and restrained action as well as certain pleasing subtleties. Director Harrington pulls off a few effectively creepy stalking sequences and deploys the titular beast in fun if slightly repetitive fashion. Fortunately the story has a few twists and turns so things never get dull, although they fail to get all that heated either. The cast is fairly well handled and thread things through nicely, Stuart Whitman is suitably gruff and no nonsense as Lt. Marco, Meredith Baxter paints Rena in sympathetic shades of confusion, fear and yearning, while David Hedison takes a while to warm up and loose his awkwardness but is still likable as Prof. Edmonds, a classic academic good guy figuring things out with open-mindedness and learning. Best though is Oscar winner Gale Sondergaard as Hester, crooked and controlling, time soured and radiating low key negativity yet at the same time open and helpful. She steals every one of her scenes and brings an unaffected old fashioned class to things that is perhaps the films greatest asset. It's just a shame that the film doesn't really have enough in the way of atmosphere or shocks (being rather tame even by made for television horror standards), so for all that it has in the way of style and vacant likability it just isn't all that compelling. Certainly watchable, but definitely a film for fans of television horror of the era rather than more casual fans, who may quite reasonably be bored and unimpressed. As a fan of such horror then I give The Cat Creature 6/10 and partially recommend it to other such fans, but it is far from essential.

There was very little chance of this film not being badass. A combined rip-off of Predator and Robocop directed by hack trash grand wizard Bruno Mattei and starring veritable Colossus of kick-ass charisma Reb Brown in the Arnie role, along with Massimo Vanni looking like Chuck Norris and the always reliable Jim Gaines, and a script by husband and wife super-scribes Claudio Fragasso (Troll 2, Zombie 4: After Death)) and Rosella Drudi. Oh and our Claudio is also the guy in the robot suit, credited under his regular pseudonym of Clyde Anderson. Anybody reading this already knows whether this film is for them or not, people generally are either Mattei fans or have sh!tty taste. But for your sake dear reader I shall go on, lest you not be quite convinced. The pacing is the only drawback here, the film takes a little while to really get into the groove so during the first third there's mostly the dialogue to go on. Fortunately the dialogue is worthy of Mamet, my favorite line being probably "You walk like a ruptured duck" . Clearly a film that should be shown to screen writing classes as an example of how to get this sort of thing right. The action is pretty steady when it gets going though. Things tend to alternate between people and trees being shot up real good, and trees and huts being blown up real good, with occasional people being blown up real good for varieties sake. Oh and there is a bit of knife work, but I don't know that I'd describe it as real good. It's OK though.Basically if you like films full of people walking around in the jungle and shooting at trees with occasional explosions and a robot that speaks in comically mangled digital gibberish then this is a film for you. I like all of these things, so Robowar was definitely a film for me. It even musters up occasional pockets of genuine excitement and suspense in amongst the hilarity and repetition, with a climax that is more affecting than one might expect. There's no gore other than mangled corpses and a severed limb, and no sleaze which definitely hurts things, but as far as goofy action trash aimed at the undemanding goes this is definitely a winner. Not as good as the classic Strike Commando mind you, but in Mattei rip off terms this is pretty darned decent. Way better than Shocking Dark at any rate. So watch it folks!

Well, I would have hoped a director as mighty as Bruno Mattei might be one to break the curse of inferior sequels. Sadly not, but he does his best here with the odds stacked against him. This time around he doesn't have the incomparable Reb Brown, massive amounts of firepower and corresponding bodycount nor hysterical emoting, and his various "inspirations", tend to be lighter (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Romancing the Stone, Lethal Weapon as well as Rambo 2 and other jungle actioners), so really the ultimate product was bound to be flawed, and it is, but it still pretty much rocks so its all good. Brent Huff takes over the Mike Ransom role, and while he lacks the stately magnificence of Reb Brown does a solid job, a smart, rough and tumble tough guy who can come into his own when the going gets hard. Mary Stavin plays a bar owning partner and love interest of sorts, bold, brassy, badass and not to mention beautiful she proves an ideal counterweight to the macho end of the scale. Italian schlock regulars Massimo Vanni and Ottaviano dell'Acqua (Rats: Night of Terror) appear as well, but the most plaudits go to the great Richard Harris. The cosmos only knows what strange wheels turned to put Richard Harris in a Bruno Mattei film but he gives it his all, a turn of authority and dignity forged in total commitment, he plays the material as if it were Oscar worthy and the effect his marvellous, his scenes tremendously entertaining. The star power can't entirely distract from the fact that the film is a bit too light hearted, and doesn't have quite enough action, explosions, wannabe gruelling violence or deranged tilts at pathos to be truly great, there are certainly classy bits (often involving useless ninjas) but overall there's a slightly underpowered feel to things. Still, I can't say as this isn't pretty solid entertainment. You'll laugh, you'll roll your eyes, you may in some small moments feel your pulse start to quicken but most importantly, you'll likely won't feel bored. So worth a watch for fans of this sort of thing.

Well it was touch and go for a moment there. My interest in seeing Knowing stemmed from hearing how insanely wrong headed it was, but for quite a long while I just thought it was appealingly bad. It came through though. Actually for the first hour or so I was capably entertained, sure I was cringing or laughing at it but I wasn't bored. The plot is utter bunk, a religious parable uncomfortably wrapped in apocalyptic science fiction, its themes brayed with all the grace and subtlety of a naked street preacher farting into a loudspeaker (chaos vs. determinism, science vs. faith) and their resolutions as predictable as night and day, and the gears that move it asinine (a professor cracking a code with the powers of pattern recognition and perseverance that any serious researcher knows can only come of a whiskey fuelled all nighter), but it moves at a reasonable clip and is unusual enough to intrigue. It also packs a couple of surprisingly ballsy disaster set-pieces in the first half, pretty silly but more viscerally intense than expected. So despite few of the character decisions and none of the dialogue feeling natural, and despite the screen-writers omitting to even inject contrived likability to bring the characters above absolute baseline interest, for a while I was disappointedly thinking that Knowing was just a standard bit of entertaining crap. Then meteoric, the path gets clearer, the pace more obvious and the interest starts to burn away, preparing for the ending. And boy oh boy what an ending. Two pronged, both predictable, one kinda cool and one far less so, the good stuff is kept to less than a minute and the bad is a virtual revelation. Hilariously ill conceived crypto racist lunacy with lame CGI effects work and messy symbolism, its jaw dropping stuff and well worth the wait. And it isn't just terrible but sufficiently terrible that it casts revealing light back on everything wrong with the rest of the film, even things that weren't immediately apparent. Put simply, highly satisfactory. The side benefits are Nic Cage committed as ever doing a restless nervous weirdness schtick that rather convinces, Rose Byrne being lovely as ever and some lady I never even heard of before called Nadia Townsend who appears a couple of times and is also lovely. Oh, and it generally looks good and whatnot, professionally enough made. All in all I couldn't possibly recommend this one on any genuine level, but it's definitely worth a watch for people who like really bad films. 3/10 (but a happy 3/10).

Strike Commando was it seems one of Bruno Mattei's most successful films of the 80's, bringing in enough cash for an further assortment of action trash in the latter half of that decade, including a sequel. 'Tis easy to see why it was such a success, being swift paced, simple minded and action packed. Also the main characters name is Mike Ransom, which makes it immediately a more awesome film than any which doesn't have a main character called Mike Ransom. The plot has Ransom and his men taking down a Vietcong munitions store, only to run across an imperilled village which Ransom vows to return and liberate. He does return but rather fails on the liberation front, as villains have offed the lot. And so like any red blooded soldier would do in the face of atrocity and impossible odds, Ransom sets off for some vengeance time... Apparently Strike Commando is in large part a rip off of Rambo 2. This wouldn't surprise me in the least as a good half or more of Mattei's filmography consists of ripping of other peoples work, but I can't say for certain as I've never seen Rambo 2. Frankly after Strike Commando I have little intention of even bothering, as rather than a lightweight like Stallone Strike Commando has Reb Brown, a man so irrefutably badass that he makes Stallone look like your elderly maiden aunt who has a steel pin in her hip from the time she fell over while gardening. Not only that but he brings a tragic grace to emotional scenes worthy of a five tissue weepie, especially when telling a dying child about Disneyland (where apparently popcorn grows on trees). Yep, he's an all round hero, crack shot, knife flinging maestro, dead on with a crossbow and handy with fists and feet, all this and still man enough to show his emotions. Well matched is the main villain of the piece, Jakoda (or Jaaakodaaah!!!!), played by Alex Vitale, a big brawny slimeball played by Alex Vitale who enjoys killing and torture but even worse makes fun of the hero by calling him Americanski (a sure sign of utter villainy is someone who makes light of God's one nation!). And the various other baddies are fun too, including a turn from trash frequent flier Jim Gaines. Altogether Strike Commando is the epitome of a pig headed good time. Things get blown up, countless goons are shot or knifed and downtime is minimal. The action is even reasonably well staged, at least as good as any mid tier American action trash from the same era. I wouldn't in the world recommend this to anyone who looks to cinema for insight and the higher qualities of man and art, but trash hounds will almost certainly get their kicks. 7/10.

The Salton Sea commences in classic neo noir fashion, camera looking down at a man slumped upon the floor of a burning room, his mournful notes dancing in the air amidst charring money, wearied voice over inviting the audience to make their own mind up as to the events that led to this pretty pass. By and by the film enters less into the expected machinations of love, money and deceit, but a story of a sad man and his life among the terminally addicted, a milieu rather well evoked. Where all too many films about drugs mist along in glum pointlessness, bask in dumb revelry or wallow in bathos The Salton Sea gets things rather right, stylised for sure but in the aid of a well handled mood, endless days of sunless light, warmth of hazy friendship, excitable chatter and mad ideas. Its pleasing stuff, quirky and sympathetic drama tinged with offbeat humour and ever laced through with disturbing undercurrents of danger, with an eclectic cast handling their roles well. Much of the film is really pretty swell actually, which makes the final block all the more of a let down when the plot comes together. Though well executed things come together in regrettably typical fashion, eschewing the potential for thoughtful and interesting fusion of noir elements and drugged out characters, its fun in its quirky and violent fashion but a bit of a let down really. Still, assured direction from DJ Caruso (who appears not to have made anything worthwhile since) and plenty of good turns keep the film afloat. Val Kilmer is powerfully haunted as the hero with dark secrets and darker past, his star power subsumed into a pretty interesting character. Vincent D'Onofrio is an unhinged blast as a dealer with a fake nose, Deborah Kara Unger well worn and wearied as a beleaguered neighbour, Peter Saarsgard brings light as a friendly addict, Anthony LaPaglia and Doug Hutchison are hard nosed cops and there's even a nice restrained R. Lee Ermey cameo. A fine mixture, and they gel well together making for a smooth, interesting ride. With a better ending this could almost be a minor modern favorite of mine, but as it stands is merely pretty darned decent. Strong 7/10 from me, worth a look.

One can glean some indication of the quality of Shocking Dark from the fact that it was the final collaboration of Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso, the latter having reached the end of his tether. That's right, the maker of classics like Troll 2 and Zombie 4: After Death finally found himself on a project he found an affront to his artistry. But to be honest, as far as plagiarism happy no budget Italian cack goes, Shocking Dark isn't all that bad, that is to say it might send you to sleep but it won't have you clawing your eyes out with frustration. Probably the earliest of Mattei's Aliens rip offs, its not quite as accomplished as his swansong Zombies: The Beginning, but as far as Aliens rip offs in general go its far from the worst of the pack, being certainly a whole lot more charming than the likes of the excremental Xtro 2. The plot has a bunch of Marines codenamed Megaforce delving beneath the remains of a post apocalyptic Venice to see why a colony there has lost all contact, and inevitably it turns out there are monsters afoot. The course of events is shameless in its pilfering from Aliens, scenes, characters are blatantly lifted as well as even the odd actual line. The audacity is amusing, and it also has the effect of giving the film a watchable structure and cosy familiarity, which is then pleasingly subverted in the finale when the film abruptly switches to ripping off a different science fiction favorite of the 80's. Of course the staging is nowhere near as effective and there are frequent spells of boredom, but things are frequently amusing and the second half musters some reasonable excitement. Most of the fun comes from the creatures popping up and dragging people off or throwing them around, the designs are typical rubber suit fare and suitably imposing, gnarly and slimy toothy beasts that spatter some pale ichor when shot, which in the latter half they frequently are. Lots of gunfire and running around, not enough explosions or physical interaction with the environment but enough gun blazing fun to keep amusement up. The cast, though possessed of little to no actual ability deliver their dialogue with gusto, frequent trash flier Geretta Giancarlo Field puts on a cool tough gal schtick, Haven Tyler is a reasonably appealing Ripley stand-in and Christopher Ahrens appropriately cold and crooked. Its all conducted with enough enthusiasm to keep the thing just about watchable even though currents of tedium snake through most of the runtime, and there's a depressing vibe to the smoky factory setting and lighting scheme of mostly blue, blueish green or on occasion deep red. The lack of any gore is a substantial minus as well, though after a while I got used to it. Altogether I can't possibly recommend this to anyone who isn't cursed to watch every available Bruno Mattei film, but for those that have to it's better than a poke in the eye with a wet stick. 4/10 from me, but a sympathetic 4/10

Shinjuku Incident sees Jackie Chan doing as many action stars are wont, setting aside grand spectacle for something more serious, a piece designed to linger longer in the minds of those who consider mere action throwaway frippery. So from the stark opening shot of multitudinous illegal immigrants washed up upon a Tokyo shore through a first few mishaps handled not by virtuoso martial artistry but simple force or even running away, its clear that this isn't a film of swift pace and hair-raising stunt work. What it is, is pure crime drama, a simple slowly boiling affair taking all the way to its fearsome final block before really exploding. Simple, and predictable, if you've seen more than one or two of these kinds of film before you likely won't be surprised by anything here, for me there was only one plot point I didn't see coming a mile off and in retrospect I actually should have done (been a while since I last watched any Asian crime dramas you see). But despite not being too surprising Shinjuku Incident is solid stuff for fans of the genre, as written and directed by Derek Yee (a Shaw Brothers star back in the day) its a slickly compelling piece rustling up a good degree of sympathy for its characters and satisfying with its climax. The stock plot has Jackie Chan as an illegal immigrant seeking to make his fortune and find his fiancée in Tokyo, in pursuit of the former he becomes a petty criminal and in the latter he finds his fiancée now a Yakuza bride. Driven to make a good life for himself, he delves in waters beyond his control, with violent results. Chan gives a solid performance, there are plenty enough who could have brought greater depth to the role but he conveys in suitably restrained fashion the dignity, sorrow and determination needed of the role. The supporting cast is similarly decent, Daniel Wu with unreliable edges as an unfortunate friend, Naoto Takenaka noble as a sympathetic cop, Bingbing Fan a delight as a friendly bar owner and Jinglei Xu poignantly restrained as the fiancée turned native. Everyone keeps their characters afloat basically, so the film never bores despite not often sparkling, essentially a rock solid filler until the badass final showdown, a chunk of well handled violent mayhem worth the wait. So in the end Shinjuku Incident is a decent experience for genre fans who don't expect much in the way of frills, traditional story in sharply shot urban underbelly with jolts of effective violence and a fine finale. A solid 6/10 from me then.

Should have been prepared I guess. After some 5 odd years as a fan of Australian horror, digging everything I saw from the big guns to the barely seen, finally I come across two in a row that I don't get along with. The Demons in My Head is especially unfortunate, since it actually has a pretty interesting story and some potential. Essentially it uses the standard narrative of a good hearted man driven down a bad path by his frustrations and failures, but weds this to the rather inspired lunacy of a gateway to other dimensions residing within a helmet found inside a meteorite, a gateway capable of transporting matter through mind. This could have been an at least semi inspired science fiction parable, but writer/director Neil Johnson sadly uses his science fiction and horror elements as little more than dressing for a sexual comedy, sexual comedy which barely raises a chuckle and fails even harder at being sexy. The characters of this leaden piece are Travis, who lusts after his blonde housemate (who isn't interested) and later transfers his affections to a religious weirdo (also blonde) who similarly isn't interested. And all the while Travis has to fend off the advances of his snarky gay stereotype other housemate Regis, Travis not being gay. And he also has to contend with the possibility of all his possessions getting repossessed. As comic set-ups go it isn't too bad at base, but the writing makes a self obsessed dimwit of every character with several of them shrill to boot and the sub-Neighbours standard acting does nothing to shade or endear any of them, resulting in an embarrassing morass for much of the film. The forays into genre territory are laughably cheap in a bad way, the effects mostly of a standard that recalls TV programming for the under-5's spawned from producers who assume their audience just won't care. Towards the end there are one or two short but nicely bloody gore shots but its too little too late and the startlingly asinine ultimate resolution to the tale discolors pretty much every meagre bright spot of the rest of the film. I'll give the film a little credit for sheer WTF value, but overall its terrible and only masochists should consider watching it. 2/10.

I didn't expect much of Haywire, since I saw it on a flip while duelling one of those afternoon hangovers that debilitate in the most tedious of ways. To my pleasured surprise it eased my brow, quickened my pulse and even made me smile, though imperfect certainly one of the better mainstream films I've seen of late. The key to it all is that it isn't a film about plot, but about energy, about the vacuous rush in and as of itself and the smiling knowledge of same. There is a plot, espionage stuff with a highly skilled mercenary lady betrayed and seeking truth, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is the precise yet effortless editing that makes near every other scene transition seem like it could be a suave sleight of hand, the slickly mannered dialogue and of course a handful of action scenes. The dialogue is utterly disposable and all the more winning for it, characters communicate in ticket stubs, crisp signifiers of no content other than meaning understood, but as the film progresses the dialogue builds in effect, it becomes its own little magic trick, mirthful in its knowing superficiality. Superficial but not pointless, by the by the film comes to resemble a paper trail caught in an updraft, twirling fragile shape that catches the eye the more for the threat of dissolution and chaos. Screenwriter Lem Dobbs holds everything together pretty well, though really it's Soberbergh's direction and editing that make everything work. And of course the key joke to the film, that its centre is a non actress and those around her, those in the most clipped of exchanges are often rather good actors. Though I shouldn't be unfair to Gina Carano, the film requires her to be tough and she convinces, it also requires her to fight and she fights well, deploying some cool moves. It also doesn't hurt that she's rather easy on the eye. Around her solid work comes from Ewan McGregor as a slimy mover and shaker, Michael Fassbender as a smooth gay secret agent and Michael Douglas as a handler of sorts, plus a small turn from Bill Paxton as her dad, nobody really excels but all do their bit, low key and convincing enough. My only substantial complaint is a finale that falls a bit flat, for all that the film has been building to it ends on a bit of a whimper, neither exciting nor intriguing enough. Still, it doesn't dispel the good vibes of the rest of the film, given that it is more or less as slick as the rest, and has it logic I guess. All in all I thought this a classy entertainment of an old fashioned yet forward thinking sort, and as action thrillers go worth a look. 7/10 from me.

I can only guess that in the case of this film the name came first, the kills contrived a soon second ad everything else a distant third. So distant in fact that I had the impression of something hastily pasted together in a desperate race to beat a deadline, to bring everything to the quickest possible solution in order to have a releasable product against time. I hate to be so harsh but I can't think of much else that could be an excuse behind a film so terribly thin when it comes to connective tissue between kill scenes. The basic set up is solid, those who were once members of school cricket team who bullied a teammate to the point that he was hospitalised and another expelled find themselves victims of a cricket themed slayer and are taken to a safehouse, only to find themselves not so safe. But there's almost nothing beyond this description. You might be thinking hey, some flashback build-up, bullying scenes leading to a terrible mistake? Not so, all there is are victim point of view shots of jeering bullies and towel whips. Well then you might think, a premise ripe for interesting characters and interaction, drawing of interpersonal tension? Not so, none of the characters are interesting or likable, in fact for the most part they tend towards outright obnoxious, even the nominal hero? A twist perhaps, some kind of mad turnaround straw for the avid slasher fan? Well there is a twist, but a lame one. Oh, and the score is completely forgettable as well. Basically this is a mostly inane and charmless film but owing to a swift runtime and reasonably decent flow of kills, plus the fact that most of said kills are either bloody, amusing or both, it manages in the end to be a fairly painless watch and not too much of a waste of time, especially if, like me you tend to be used to your bad slashers not being particularly bloody at all. A fair 4/10 from me though, film for the completists.

A strange film this, this Invasion of the Bodysnatchers aping affair from Soviet era Yugoslavia. Quite pointed in its criticisms, its notion of poverty and decay giving rise to seductive, destructive, downright monstrous collectivism. And a new movement not just monstrous but ah!, shock horror! decadent also. Seems to have survived intact though, I guess the censor must have been sleeping on the job or else just passed it through as a moonshine delusion (being as how its fairly weird and all). So for a plot, a homeless writer takes refuge in an abandoned hotel and spies a party of rat people, if this weren't unnerving enough they plan to kill the father of the winsome lass on whom his sights are set. So they come together, trying to come up with a rat person poison whilst eluding infection themselves. To be honest stripped from context this is actually pretty mundane stuff, but well arranged, it wraps about the attention like some piece of anthology science fiction, with the same sort of pattern of minor jolts building to stronger, risings and fallings to an ending of suitable ambiguity. There's suspicion in the outset that all may be delusion, and so a two pronged potential, evil as delusion superimposed on order, or perhaps order itself as a manner of madness. This leads to little though, the film generally evades attempts to not be taken as literal narrative (even if it is allegory). Still, as a time filling science fiction curio this hits enough of the right beats. Ivica Vidovic is a solid enough hero, run down and freaked out but well capable of handling himself in crisis, and he has able support from Fabijab Sovagovic as a helpful elderly scientist and Mirjana Majurec bears pleasing wisps of light and charm as his lovely daughter. There's some restrained but creepy effects work though little actual violence to speak of and the full fledged creature design towards the end is a little silly and too blatantly shown. Real live rats provide some discreet but effective chills too and work well with the cluttered, grimy setting. Creepy crawling score does well for the atmosphere too. Not really enough here for a hearty endorsement, but for those that like to scurry in the dark, scamper in the obscure this is certainly watchable enough. Solid 5/10.

It isn't difficult to see why The Card Player is one of the least generally regarded Argento works. Largely free of gore or fluid camera- work, a stylistically restrained affair that could almost pass for made for television. And yet it works by and large, it may not be a classic but it's a lot of fun, with a playful feel that rather charms. The intent on the surface was to merge two rather different traditions, the giallo and the modern day serial killer procedural film, but a casual glance at the two reveals their incompatibility. The giallo founded in twist and contrivance, exuberant sleight of hand the magic behind lurid pulp fun, the later serial killer film a matter of darkness and psychology, the horror of death and trudge towards truth, stone faces and realism. The Card Player stuffs the former in the latter and the fit is tight, but rather than strain for neatness and appearance Argento pushes for knowing absurdity. So there's some of the more open weirdness and humour of his work, lively and eccentric characters and a few visual gags. But as well as absurdity, in the set up can be seen a film-maker reacting to his legacy. In films past Argento gave beauty to violence in the impossibly wandering eye of his camera and we delighted in him for it, but here he recognises the audience and doesn't give them what they want, moreover it is a camera (and just just his but that within the film) that denies, a single stationary webcam that shows terror and death but no arterial business. The treatment is imperfect, elegant but insubstantial, touching on the matters of death, fate and audience (the defining image being the reflection of a gambler's face in computer screen that shows both terrified victim and the card game for her life) but unable or unwilling to give them much weight. The effort is appreciable though and the film in general is a charmer. Liam Cunningham comically inspired, tough and touching as a boozy agent transferred to Rome, Stefania Rocca hitting the right hard but tender notes in her stock heroine character (complete with predictable personal problems), Silvio Muccino an amusing card sharp and other players doing their work well. A few well crafted sequences of nervy tension too, as well as a couple of impressive lunacy. Certainly a number of places in need of more sting, and a killer and motivation rather disappointing, but overall a well worthy work of underrated fun. 7/10.

The Weirdo tells the story of Donny, a simple young man mistreated by almost everyone but his aunt. He finds love and happiness with a slightly crippled lass named Jenny, but you just know things aren't going to turn out all sunshine and good times. Though broadly a horror film, and certainly drawing on classic genre themes and situations, much of The Weirdo is occupied by brooding drama, heavy on dialogue as Milligan piles up his dysfunctional concerns. Lots of typical Milligan stuff seems to be there, a loathsome priest, an even more loathsome mother, retarded people and constant mean spirited behaviour from most of the characters, the film is an essay in casual grinding cruelty, innocent simplicity slowly broken down till mad and murderous climax, an avalanche of deliriously inept slaying packing quite the punch. The climatic shenanigans I pretty much expected, what took me rather by surprise in the film though was how moving it is. The writing seems really to care about Donny and Jenny, they are in a terribly sad situation and the film never seems to be exploiting them. The small, committed cast and unfussy direction help out here, although the film has an everytown setting and the action moves around a number of different places it always feels claustrophobic, this gives it a sense of inevitability, that Donny will be wronged for no good reason wherever he turns. There's a sincerity and compassion here that really works despite the oddity and comically broad touches like the abundance of slapping, happily this feeling is backed up by some decent acting. Steve Burington does good, sympathetic work as Donny, slow and seemingly simple, pitiable rather than pathetic and with an edge of menace. In fact throughout the film I kept being reminded of some or other similar if not near identical turn in a different movie, just out of reach of my recollection. Jessica Strauss is sweet, childlike but lovable as Jenny and her relationship with Donny comes off as unforced and natural as such a set up was ever likely to be. Sure it's a bit of a fairy tale, but they work well together and are rather touching. Naomi Sherwood is Donny's aunt and comes across a nice enough old gal, doing her best in a situation she never asked for and probably didn't ever want. The rest of the cast is basically just a set of hateful meanies, caricatures but delivered with gusto, with a shout out due to Lyn Caryl, doing great malign work as Donny's near unfeasibly spiteful mother. The ending of this one probably would have been better with a less schlocky approach and the film is ultimately a bit formulaic, but I had a rather fine time with it on the whole. Not by any means a great film and probably not even a "good" film in the conventional sense, this is still worth a look for Milligan fans and 80's oddity addicts I think.

In Missing we have a Korean take on the abduction themed neo-nasty picture, and what a generic take it is. Young actress looking for a break Hyun-Ah stops off at a chicken soup shop with a vaguely sleazy director, only to fall into the hands of the owner, only to fall into the evil clutches of the unhinged owner Pan-Gon, who cages her and subjects her to the expected indignities. And along the way Hyun-Ah's sister comes looking for her, and... well there aren't too many surprises here. Not much to see, quite literally as the film is rather restrained with only a few grisly moments and the impact of nastier scenes achieved mostly through reaction shots, the sort of work that brings off the odd brief wince but no real lasting squirmy impact. While Asian cinema often ups the ante in such territory bringing either psychological depth or full bore brutal theatrics, Missing generally lacks the excess of its more noted Western counterparts, and adding insult to injury opts to keep their flaws (inept decision making) instead. With all this it shouldn't be a remotely worthwhile experience, but it does succeed on minor terms, ending up a pretty watchable and by and large mindlessly entertaining affair. Seon-kun Mun is the definite highlight as the villainous Pa-Gon, playing with a low key loathsome menace tinged with pathos, one can see inside how he came to be how he is and the understanding complements his power as a baddie. Se-hong Jeon plays off him well as Hyun-Ah, sympathetic in her desperation with an edge of grit to raise her a little above the standard wailing victim. Ja-Hyeon Chu is decent as well as the investigating sister, convincing in her somewhat fearful determination. Along with the performances the setting and cinematography also work pretty well, creating a grim pocket of isolation just off the beaten track, a sense of fear that just past the outskirts of normality lurks evil. So the foundations are here, but not the crucial kick, a few neat jolts and twisted moments, some deaths and a wee splash of fun bloodshed but pretty much no scenes where the film really locks down to get fearsome, to really blast the audience somewhere dark and brutal. The end result was a film I found fun enough, pleasing enough, but not good enough to truly find memorable or commendable. Still a reasonably strong 5/10 from me though, the sort of film mostly to watch if you feel like you have to but one that won't disappoint too much if you enter with low expectations.

A watchable diversion here for those that enjoy the slow paced Asian spook films but have grown tired of the technological interests and or patently contrived jolts built on raw psychological grounds like Ringu or Phone. For Inner Sense the psyche takes precedence, rather than serving as mechanics bench upon which scare tactics are assembled the psyche itself is what we see put together. And the interest is in how the assembly comes to affect the assembler, the relationship of faulty mechanism and mechanic. Unfortunately this is on the whole a pretty basic film though, without too much to say it makes its mark chiefly as a slickly oiled emotional engagement, well performed with a couple of fun scares and a few interesting visuals. In his final role Leslie Cheung is likable with carefully measured darker shades, his psychologist character drawing up the roots of his co stars eerie visions and in the process unloosing troubles within. A convincing turn that one is hard pressed not to find somewhat drawn from tragic reality, it makes for a poignant swansong. Kar Yan Lam is the lady haunted, repressed, high strung and impressionable she succeeds in conveying the tight wound character. A few familiar faces like Waise Lee and Norman Chu appear for solid support, but this is for the most part a sealed off affair and sufficiently compelling in its isolation. Downcast and rain-slicked yet clear eyed cinematography from Kwok Man Keung contributes suitably glum atmosphere and grants the rather obvious (it even gets spelled out) symbolism moments of visual flair. Things all come together to make the film work, though the treatment of story and themes is generally shallow and unadventurous. I didn't expect something of the calibre of Persona (which this film in its fashion resembles), but I did hope for something with less simmer and more heat. Actually in fairness it does heat up in the finale, but in the way of maudlin melodrama that leaves an unfortunate taste. Ultimately I had a perfectly reasonable time here, and as a somewhat interesting filler piece this works well enough, but more pop was really needed. 5/10.

Whatever you make of Quentin Tarantino as a film-maker (and I can take or leave him), its hard to imagine a livelier nor more influential champion of the weird and woolly corners of cult cinema. I don't recall the moment in Kill Bill cribbed from Goke: Bodysnatcher from Hell (a scene of plane in blood red sky), like many other details it was lost for me, just another colorful bauble in that magpie's nest of a film, but with renewed interest Goke can now be seen as it should, in pristine widescreen subtitled form. And so a new generation of weird cinema enthusiasts can experience a film that, while somewhat flawed offers up enough arresting moments to be an overall solid watch. It begins impressively on a plane mid sky, all around turns blood red and birds fly to bloody smears on windows, then comes a UFO fly pass and system failure leading to a crash. An assassin on board and possible bomb threat have people already very much on edge, but things get a whole lot worse when an extraterrestrial menace comes into play, and the surviving passengers and crew will have to keep their baser instincts at bay if they want any hope of survival. This of course proves easier said than done, the confined space and lack of provisions drawing out every tension, pulling nerves taut till they fray away and snap, the course of things predictable but individual events fortunately less so. The various character decisions that drive the film don't always ring true but they do provide a dramatic pulse, and the cast throw themselves into their roles with suitable aplomb. Hideo Ko wields cold menace as the potential assassin, an understated determined malevolence making him a solid villain. Yuko Kusunoki is entertainingly loathsome as a more outre slimeball, Eizo Kitamura appropriately desperate and irritable as a politician. Kazuo Kato makes for a decent creepy oddball psychiatrist, the sort of person you wouldn't want treating you under any circumstances. There's a dependable good guy in Teruo Yoshida to balance out the overstrained or openly villainous though, and Tomomi Sato as a stewardess backing him up. In fact the only weak link is American Kathy Horan, whose performance is kinda shrill and irritating, though she also has the disadvantage of the film's worst writing. See there's a message here, an obvious one that the film puts across with all the subtlety of a jabbering town crier pounding nine inch nails into your skull with a ball-peen hammer. It's an overbearing approach that detracts from the experience in general, though having reflected on the film for a few days the good stuff does stand out more than the bad. Cool cheapo effects including a model plane, ominous colored lighting and a silvery alien slime creature, cool opening and absolute dynamite finale with enough to sustain between, overall memorably unusual atmosphere, its fun stuff that grew on me all the more thinking on it after. It may not be a truly bonkers classic, but for seekers after the strange this is definitely a worthwhile trip. 7/10

I always enjoy watching obscure horror, but its a pursuit of many ups and downs. Embrujada definitely counts as a down, much as I wanted to appreciate it. For the most part it operates as melodrama spiked by minor horror elements, revving up the pace in the last 10 minutes or so but still failing to deliver much excitement. I would not be at all surprised if its plot were based on a fairy tale, its heroine obsessed with bearing a child to the point of madness and visited by the beastly spirit Pombero, with bad repercussions for those around her. Its a sad cautionary tale about the danger of pursuing what one can not have and the ills that come of breaching customs, rigidly traditional and pretty predictable. I don't necessarily mind this sort of story-telling, it speaks of tradition and confers a sense of place and time that can be of a good deal of interest to an outsider like me, but this one moves far too slowly (a bore at just under 80 minutes, could have been over in around 65 without much loss) and lacks much in the way of event. No gore (just some red smears) and little in the way of spookiness or violence, its a thin brew with little to offer horror lovers, fans of South American melodrama may find some small nostalgic spark but even this is kinda doubtful. On the plus side, our heroine is played by a ample breasted beauty by the name of Isabel Sarli who appears topless on several occasions, the locations are attractive and nicely shot (conveying a certain exotic atmosphere) and the actors generally do their best with the material, with Sarli imbuing her clichéd and slightly irritating character with some humanity and Victor Bo solid and roughly likable as her lover. The general commitment on display stops this one from being a complete dead loss and there are one or two jolts, as well as cool beast man make-up for the Pombero, but on the whole this isn't interesting or exciting enough to recommend and its lack of excitement makes the more questionable aspects (stereotyped roles, odd decisions, hint of racism) of the tale stick out the sorer. You could do a lot worse, but this is still skippable, only the most dedicated of obscurity enthusiasts need apply.