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Pietro_Shakarian
Reviews
The Chicken of Tomorrow (1948)
Okay...an educational film about chickens.....
What we have here is an extremely cheesy, out-dated educational film of the late 40s. The whole premise never really goes any place and the worst and most idiotic facet of it is when a chicken supposedly "talks" ala Mae West. Then there's the guy who can barely cut thin slices of roast chicken. And that annoying narrator......
Do not watch this without the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew - whatever the costs.
The Days of Our Years (1955)
....couldn't get any worse than this film
"The Day of Our Years" is an educational instruction film from the mid-50s made by Union Pacific. It's a classic in Union Pacific vaults but viewed as too corny by the average person. So, pretty soon it made it's way to Comedy Central's "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and is probably one of the funniest MST shorts. The film focuses on a Reverend better known to Tom Servo as "America's Favorite Decan of Death" who tells us three stories about death, accidents, and misfortune. The first story is about Joe. Joe likes to rush. So rushing his way home one day, he and two of his fellow workers. This particular story contains some of Mike and the bots' funniest commentary such as when Joe is on the road and while the Reverend is telling his story Crow blurts out (while we look at a close-up of Joe) "Out of my head, Reverend!" or the scene where Joe is seen in a neck-brace and Tom comments "Do you take this bionic man?" The next tale is of George. George is a crazy old guy (ya gotta love him) who's planning his retirement with his wife. One bright, sunny, cheerful, day George doesn't feel good. Could it be last night's Mexican dinner? Anyway, he ends up killing his neighbor in a (train?) crash. Ever since then George never moves from his chair, and closes the shade on everything while saying "BOOOORINGGGGGG!" The third and final story is about a man who has been blinded by a blow torch and gives his baby a train instead of his bottle. This particular MST short made my brother and I fall on the floor laughing at the commentary. I highly recommend MST version of this one (which, I think is now on videotape or DVD).
Catching Trouble (1936)
Well, ya can't help but torture and disembowel defenseless animals, can ya ROSS?
"Catching Trouble" sucks period. It features the cruel Ross who catches animals for zoos with his faithful Indian sidekick, "Ol' Sourpuss" or something like that. Ross adventures around to bring bear cubs, snakes, wild cats, and other animals back to the zoo in ways which would make the Animal Humane Society want to burn every existing copy of this.
I highly recommend watching the MST3k version of this stinker.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
How Ron Howard Ruined The Grinch.
After viewing "The Grinch," there's little I can say positive about it. Personally, I've seen Ron Howard and Jim Carrey do better. This film takes away the main point of the children's classic and Chuck Jones' memorable television special. It's not the gifts. So why doesn't anyone in Whoville know that? Of course, you can't cram a half-hour animated classic or a short Dr. Suess story without using a creative license, right? And, ya see, sometimes that license should be revoked. This film focuses on the Grinch himself. What exactly makes him tick anyway? What's beyond that cheaply-woven costume and the yellow contact lenses? It's as if they turned "The Grinch" into a psychology film! It states that the Grinch was originally an orphan who grew up under two sisters (?) and decided to leave for Mt. Krumpet after being humiliated in class by the pudgy kid (the soon would-be mayor). Now, remember that cartoon they would run on NBC on Saturday Mornings once a year? The one where the Grinch meets the Cat in the Hat. Now then, the Grinch had a mother in that show didn't he? My point exactly. More faults - classic lines which made the book and the animated special classics are now gone and Cindy Lou Who who was originally two, appears to be at least eight here! This movie really was a huge disappointment.
I do not recommend it for those of you who have grown to love the traditional Grinch.
Five the Hard Way (1969)
Hey! They shot this with a 3mm camera!
This film is brutal, boring and just plain cheesy. It's technically two movies smashed together, the first is the entire "sidehacking" bit and the second is a murder story where Rommel's girlfriend is graphicly killed and he has to get back at J.C. someplace in the mountains with some other guys, including, a drunken hillbilly who tells bad jokes such as "Number 8!" And the ending makes no sense at all. The title "Five the Hard Way" doesn't seem to make sense to those who never heard of the song therefore labeling it dated. The alternate title of this film is "The Sidehackers" even though "sidehacking" is only seen in the first five minutes.
Avoid this stinker at all costs, unless of course, it's the Mystery Science Theater 3000 variation, which is one of the funniest episodes.