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scottsp10
Reviews
Don't Hang Up (2016)
Ugh! Too many implausibilities...
Many times when watching a film (especially horrors and thrillers), one needs to just swallow certain absurd plot points. You just have to sit back and go "well, it is a movie, so I'm not going to let common sense get in the way too much." But there comes a time when way too many absurdities come up and you no longer can accept what you are watching. It actually becomes comical.
That's what happens in this film. The villain in this flick is so savvy with technology, he is able to do things beyond what anyone (unless they work for the Government in cyber security or something) could do. But of course, these masterful tech things are necessary to keep the movie going.
I guarantee you are going to ask yourself at least half a dozen times during the movie if what you are seeing is even capable of happening, how it happened, how the villain worked it out, and how everything happened in such perfect order that it worked with no problems. And by the time you ask yourself that for the sixth time, you will be rolling your eyes.
I can't even comment too much about the film itself (writing, directing, acting) because the craziness of how it all goes down just goes beyond looking at any other aspect of the film. Does it sometimes have good suspense? Yes. Are the main characters good actors? Sure. Will it make horror fans happy? A portion of them, yes. But does it take way too many liberties where the audience has to suspend their disbelief? ABSOLUTELY. Too many liberties.
Sadly, those issues force me to grade the film no higher than a 5.
Blue Lagoon: The Awakening (2012)
A Truly Horrible Movie!
This has to be one of the worst films I have seen in quite some time. I went into viewing it knowing it had nothing to do with the original. And that was fine because I was looking for a new movie or a re-imagining if you will. So, that is about the only positive thing I could say. At least it is original. But is so very bad. Where to begin? The script? The writers should never be allowed to pen a script again. The dialogue was so cheesy at times and laughable at other times when it supposed to be deep. Some of the back and forth between the leads will make you roll your eyes. Yes, it is that bad. And the actors do nothing to elevate the material. They are bad actors. I don't even know which one is worse. I realize they are generally unknown actors here in the States but I can guarantee that neither will come out of this being considered breakout stars. If you can get passed the writing and acting, let's discuss some of the ridiculous plot points.
The two are stuck on the island for two months or so yet the male character never grows a beard, moustache, or chest hair. How is that even possible? His hair doesn't even grow on his head. And the female remains completely smooth as well. Considering the time they are on the island and without the proper materials, this is just way too much for the audience to accept. Now, the two characters engage in a physical relationship and we find out that for the girl, it is her first time. Yet, the male had no clue. Really? Are we not even going to try and discuss how inane that is that he wouldn't know that he has just had sex with a virgin? Whatever. Beyond those things, we have the actual plot of the film. We go from one scene in which the female wants off the island to the very next scene where she is perfectly happy being alone with the male. This happens more than once during the movie. In fact, sometimes we go to a commercial with her in a panic and come back with everything seemingly better. Odd to say the least. When they are finally rescued (in a completely anti-climactic way), they return home and the movie takes an odd turn where both characters as cold towards one another and seem to forget all the bonding and changing they did on the island. This of course, remains the same until the final minute of the movie where they come back together and we are supposed to see just how in love they truly are. Again, whatever.
Take special notice of Denise Richards character for a specific point of bad writing meets bad acting as she plays the mother of the missing girl and beyond one failed crying scene, shows next to no realistic emotion over the fact that her daughter could be dead. Everything about this movie screams fake. It just seems to lack a decent plot, cohesive writing and structure, and expects the audience to just accept way too many things that are not consistent. A complete and total failure from start to finish.