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Eyeborgs (2009)
2/10
poor acting and dialogs
24 April 2011
Warning: Spoilers
It is so bad that it is actually fanny. All trash movie admirers will love it. I had the impression that the movie was shot in a week and they did not have money to repeat some scenes. Scriptwriters were writing as they were shooting. The dialogs are very bad!

The boy, his girlfriend, terrorist and a TV reporter are the result of the extremely bad casting. The terrorist is not convincing, the girlfriend is repulsive, the reporter is pathetic, the violet-haired boy is a complete nonsense. Why they had to kill 20 people to save him from the "violent" 3-d scanning by machines?

Apart from Danny Trejo, the best acting in this movie is done by eyeborgs.
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Buried (2010)
1/10
Buried alive or born dead?
28 January 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This obnoxious movie has made me produce my first IMDb review ever. Realized as the director's sadomasochistic fantasy on the screen, the movie left me almost physically disturbed and nauseated. Extremely visceral tortures of the main and only character shamelessly exploit everyone's fear of being buried alive - with no apparent moral or artistic reason. If this movie is about being buried alive, then any value it could have has always been born dead.

After spending these awful ninety minutes in the coffin with the stupid Paul, I was trying to understand why the director put me there. And I see no other reasons than the most stupid ones such as these:

Showing that the more you like national symbols (the terrorist mentions the American flag decorating Paul's house in Michigan, and there a tattoo reminiscent of American flag on Paul's wrist) the less government cares about you.

Showing that all mothers-in-law are inane witches who like to have fun and not to care if their sons-in-law call in trembling voice (from Iraq, by the way) and not even bother to tell about this their daughters.

Showing that, while all the other technology fails on you, your cigarette lighter is an everlasting product with amazing qualities. (it is good though that, together with dying Paul has also quit smoking)

Showing that all lawyers are deeply inhuman beings.

Showing the exciting underground life of snakes whose little hobby is to get into and out of every man pants.

Showing what happens to the person who is cheating on his wife. The director did not provide us with any other possible reasons of why the universe was so cruel to Paul and not to any other American citizen which was available for kidnapping that day in Iraq.

I could not get any other comprehensible messages ("the famous American family values") from this movie. Paul's voice message to his son is the epitome of very bad taste and very poor acting. It is a boring and stupid reason to make a movie, unless you are a sadist and like to see what happens to a person who is buried alive with the closest approximation.

Why the director who cares so much to make you feel like you are in coffin, treats his spectators as the most stupid people? Why Paul is burning his oxygen with his lighter? Because the viewer needs to see something and it is not possible without light. Why the director would not come up with something more inventing? As a result, you cannot be compassionate for someone as stupid as Paul.

The movie's aim is to hit you, literally, physically hit you - not to move you aesthetically or ethically but to simply kick you in your face. That's what that dull movie is all about.
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