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Reviews
Succession (2018)
So boring...
Wow. Halfway through the 1st episode and there has been absolutely *nothing* to grab my attention or keep me interested. Terribly boring. Looked up why so many people like this show and most say that it picks up "halfway through the 1st season". Yeah, uh, no, I'm not watching 6 hours of a boring show before it starts to get good.
Inside Man (2006)
Tries to be more clever than it is
As the title states. The story itself is ok. Fairly standard heist movie kind of thing. Hostages, negotiator, etc. But I hated the shooting style. I don't know the proper cinematic vocabulary but the way it was shot was jarring to the senses and I found myself more often thinking about that than following the story.
The Chair (2021)
Boring
Couldn't get through the first episode without falling asleep. Just didn't grab my interest at all.
Law & Order: Organized Crime (2021)
I hated it
I hated the way it was shot. I don't know the technical theatrical term for it, but I hated it and had to turn it off.
Made for Love (2021)
Worth watching
Pretty good, a bit weird, kinda funny. Give it a go.
Undercover Billionaire (2019)
Interesting idea but...
Interesting idea but I get a strong feeling it's fake, or perhaps more specifically, there's a lot we aren't shown or explained.
Chronicle (2012)
A superpower to make what should be a great story and make it superboring
Three friends spontaneously develop telekinesis powers. Cool! Let's see what kind of fun and trouble they get into! But instead of that, what you get just a bunch of mundane scenes of them goofing around. There's no STORY being told here. It's just so boring and it's frustrating because it really shouldn't be.
Can't tell you what happens after the first 45 minutes because I was so bored with kids using their superpowers to do the most incredibly boring stuff I turned it off.
Fatherhood (2021)
Heartwarming but paint by numbers
I like Kevin Hart, generally, and his performance here is quite good. It's a nice, heartwarming story of a single dad raising his daughter and figuring things out along the way. A couple of chuckles along the way but nothing super funny. Some touching moments as well. But it just felt so bland. At the end of the day, a movie is a story and it needs to be a story worth telling. The events here were just a little too everyday for it to really keep me very interested. I'd like to see Hart do more drama with a more thee-dimensional script, digging deeper into the character and the issues they deal with.
Impostor (2001)
Boring
This was boring. I saw someone else recommend watching a short version which apparently exists and I wish I had followed that advice. The premise is fine but it's clear they tried to fill a lot more time than was needed. Essentially, the plot is established in the first few minutes, followed by an hour long chase (which really isn't very exciting or novel), and then wraps things up in a few minutes at the end. It's not the worst movie in the world. It's just very blah.
The Virtuoso (2021)
Waste of time. Can't believe I sat through it.
Not only boring and slow but incredibly dumb. The constant voiceover is distracting, trying to sound cool but just ending up cheesy and annoying. The acting itself is decent but the characters weren't believable at all.
Spoilers
Ok, this is so stupid it boggles the mind. His very first hit, he's told to make it look like an accident and his choice of method is to shoot out a tire while the target is driving? Yeah, cuz you know, bullet holes in tires screams accident. Not only that but the accident I saw on the screen probably would have a 95% chance of survival for the driver. The 2nd hit is just a code name, a location and a time. He has no idea who he's supposed to off so he has to go around asking everyone he meets if they've heard of this code name? Are you kidding me? And even then, the "code name" is meaningless. It's not a person's name so he doesn't even know what it means.
The Serpent (2021)
Excellent story
I too hated the constant jumping around. Non-linear storytelling is fine but it was just way overdone. Having said that, by the 3rd episode I kinda got used to it (tho still didn't like it). Aside from that, this is a very well done series chronicling the activities of a serial killer in SEA.
I Care a Lot (2020)
Getting a lot of unfair criticism
This movie is getting a lot of low reviews because it's "stupid and not believable". Funny thing is, 20 years ago I would have thought, "this is dumb. No one could get away with that", but these days there are so many loopholes in the system that I found myself thinking, "this is crazy, I can't believe they can get away with this!' The difference is that 20 years ago I would have rejected it outright. Now, it's more astonishment. Yeah, the movie does make it way too simple but the premise is realistic. Some people HAVE done this and gotten away with it! It's not meant to be a full examination of the legal system. Yes, it's dumbed down a bit and overly simplistic. It's not a documentary folks. It still managed to be a fun and engaging movie for me that kept my interest throughout. I don't regret watching at all.
The Mauritanian (2021)
A story everyone needs to know about
Stellar actors and a powerful story of what really happens at Gitmo. It shows the lengths the US gov will go to when they need a scapegoat. It's categorized a drama but it's rather a real-life horror. Jason and Mike have nothing on Bush and Rumsfeld.
The Unicorn (2019)
Painful
Who is rating this show above a 5 at best? I get humor is subjective but omg this show is so unbelievably lame it hurts to watch. All I can do is ask myself, "is this supposed to be funny?" throughout the show.
I like the cast as actors but the script is just too hokey to be funny. Maybe it's funny if you're 13? I literally don't know anyone that would like this show. Kept waiting for it to get better but it seems to just be getting worse.
Tenet (2020)
Horrible, horrible disappointment
I love Nolan. Following, Memento, Inception, Interstellar... I couldn't speak highly enough of those films. But this is a crapfest. It's utter garbage.
1) The dialog. It's too scripted-sounding, rapidfire, and doesn't give you time to take it in. Worse is that it's delivered in a monotone devoid of any human emotion. Oh, wait, no, what's even worse than that is that it's mumbled and then there's the loud music overlaid on top of that. I am a native speaker and literally couldn't make out about 60% of the dialogue. Extremely frustrating.
2) The entire inversion concept is so stupid you can't get your head around it. It's not "wow I can't understand this super smart concept". It's just dumb. Reverse entropy moving forward in time but actually, no, it's backwards but.... yeah, whatever. It's stupid beyond belief. You just can't let yourself get sucked into the story. At least I couldn't.
I really wish I had just rewatched Interstellar instead. What a waste of time.
StartUp (2016)
How did this get such a low score on RT?
The Shield meets Silicon Valley meets Sons of Anarchy. Thrill ride from start to finish.
I'm convinced that the critics over at Rotten Tomatoes have been paid off by competitors to write bad reviews for this show. 33%? Are you kidding me? I get that not everyone is going to like it but come on. This is one of the most gripping shows I've seen in years. Season 1 and season 2 both are incredible TV. I put this up there along with Breaking Bad and The Shield (pacing is more Shield than BB).
Don't be fooled and please do go out of your way to spread the word. Tell people to leave more reviews supporting the show. We need to counterbalance RT's paid bad reviews. I've lost all faith in RT after this. Not sure who peeved who off but what they are doing is downright disgusting. Will never trust their reviews again.
If you liked The Shield and you don't like this, I don't know what else to tell you.
Wakefield (2016)
I want my 2 hours back
I would have rated this a 1 but Garner shows some pretty spectacular side boob, so that's gotta be worth something, if only for the fact that I didn't even know she had boobs to speak of.
Besides that, however, this movie will leave you feeling regretful of the two hours you've sliced out of your life to watch it.
Guy decides to one day abandon his wife and kids to go live in the attic where he has a good view of the dining room and spies on his family for a few months. We never figure out why he's so unhappy with his marriage and life since it's revealed at several points that he's the jerk in all of this to begin with. Now if he was an interesting jerk, that might have made a good movie, but oh my God, this is one boring mundane douchebag. We get to watch his family do ordinary everyday things and hear his inner monologue express the most unsurprising ordinary thoughts.
If your life is so unbelievably boringly mundane that you enjoy this movie, I can only feel pity for you.
Ratter (2015)
Most boring movie I've seen in a long time
There are at least 4 fake accounts being used here in the comments. How do I know? Because it is impossible for anyone with the intelligence to create an account and post on IMDb to consider this movie a 7, an 8, a 9 and a 10.
This isn't just a difference in personal preference. This is by any standard a terrible terrible movie.
I expected a movie about someone's life being turned upside down because they were being cyber-terrorized. That's the plot summary. What I got instead was a movie that chronicled the most mundane activities of a young pudgy woman's everyday life.
Everything is shot on webcams and cell phones. I thought this was clever for the first 10 minutes because, although it was annoying, I thought it was a good way to introduce the viewer to the fact that all her devices have been hacked by a stalker. I guessed that it would then turn into a real movie after five or ten minutes. Nope. The entire f***ing thing is shot like that. It's annoying as hell. But much worse is the fact that nothing happens.
For the first hour, we the viewers are treated to having to sit through (and don't forget this is all shot from the perspective of computer webcams and cell phone cams):
- she does housework - she dances around the house - we see her ankle in the shower scene - she gets hit on by a guy in the library - she chats with her mom on Skype - she cooks - she does aerobics - etc. No, it does not get more meaty than that. Imagine your boring routine life and then having to watch someone else do the exact same things you do all day. That's what this movie is.
I tried hard to keep going but I couldn't. I gave up after an hour to go floss my teeth, which was more exciting by a factor of 10.
Bad movies, there are plenty, I can live with that. What I can't live with is the f***ing FRAUDS on this board that are working for the studio and come here to pump up the rating. It should be illegal to falsely make others believe a movie is good to get you to watch it. In every other business, trying to sell something by lying to the customer - by saying that something does what it clearly doesn't - is illegal. Movies are supposed to entertain. This one does the opposite of entertain.
The only "horror" in this film that I saw was having to sit through the non-story.
It just plain sucks bad.
Wilfred (2011)
Absolute garbage
This is the dumbest show I have seen in a long, long time. Of course, sense of humor is very individual so I'm not surprised that not everyone agrees with me. However, to see 9 and 10 stars across the board is more than a little disturbing. I can only guess that the other reviewers are 10 years old and hacked their parents' computer to post a review.
I like humor that is as crass and vulgar as it gets, but when it is completely devoid of wit, it is not humor. The simple act of saying or doing something that is considered off-color stopped making me laugh when I was 12.
That's where this show's humor stops. I suppose I'm supposed to laugh that the dog like to smoke up. Haha. That is sooooo funny. Give me a break.
It's such a shame to see this coming from FX. They have some really great shows, but this? Pure garbage. It's just not funny. I really tried to give it a chance, given that there were 8 reviews with nothing but stellar reviews for it, so I watched three episodes and I have yet to even chuckle, much less laugh.
Maybe I'm missing the joke. Maybe it's one of those ironic things where the show is so unfunny that it's funny? I'm supposed to laugh, not at the show's 'jokes', but at the creator and writers' utter failure in producing anything remotely entertaining? Is that it? Or maybe I should take a cue from the dog and hit the bong myself before sitting down to watch it?