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Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)
7/10 Based on when I Saw It
This is one of those movies that is best judged by the people who saw it on its original or first rebroadcast. By today's standards, I agree with a lot of reviewers that say it is not very good. I wouldn't give it a 1, but probably no more than a 4. But I am one of the lucky people who got to see it on its original broadcast, and like so many others, it has scarred me for life.
I harbor no ill will toward new viewers who didn't get to experience the fear and trauma this movie inflicted on viewers (especially kids like me) when it was first released. I actually feel sorry for them, as they didn't get to experience one of those rare movie experiences where everything just came together perfectly.
Five Across the Eyes (2006)
SPOILERS INCLUDED! Not the WORST Horror Movie I've Seen
This is far from the worst horror movie I've seen. There were some genuine well thought out moments in the film:
SPOILERS BELOW...
1) The killer using the key remote to find the van hidden along the road.
2) Not really showing much brutality, but definitely making you well aware that it's happening.
3) Having the girls end up in a complete circle right back at the gas station where they started.
4) The grainy film adds a lot of atmosphere.
5) Hearing shotgun blasts in the distance, but not having any idea what's going on out there.
6) The killer was stabbed well over thirty times in the chest, a few times in the nether-regions, and lit on fire. And remained dead (quite refreshing to see!).
Unfortunately, too many negatives outweigh whatever positives they put up. Such as no use of a steady-cam; having trouble focusing in some scenes; the music, or lack there-of (supposedly there were 23 songs, but I only recall music three or four times - I suppose that says more about the music than anything); the voices are sometimes hard to understand; there were a few scenes that could have used some serious editing; and the lack of a dedicated mic to specific people in some scenes.
All in all, not a bad effort. But they really could have used some assistance in their production to clean the film up. I'd like to see what Swinson and Thiessen can do in about three films. I think they may have their craft down a little better, and put out a much more polished project.
Days of Thunder (1990)
Everything Wrong (Almost)
I think the only thing they got right in this movie is the the cars go fast. Other than that, they were completely off-track (pun intended).
1) Russ Wheeler says in a pre-race interview: "If Cole comes near me, I'm gonna put him in the wall." In reality, you're out of the race, with a nice hefty fine. Maybe permanently parked.
2) Cars on the lead lap were lining up on the inside. In reality, lead-lap cars line up on the outside, and cars that are a lap or more down line up on the inside (unless there are ten or less laps left, then it's single file).
3) The amount of on-track banging that the movie has. After a car has been beaten up as badly as some of those were, there is no way they could keep up that pace, especially at Daytona. (Unless it's a DEI car at the plate tracks, then NASCAR allows them to cheat so the sheep who blindly follow Jr. can have their three or four wins per season.)
4) The passing at Daytona is completely unrealistic, as there is no way that a single car can pass a line of cars. Can't be done. No way. Not with the aero-packages and the restrictor plates. (Unless, of course, it's a DEI car. See reason three above.)
5) There was a caution with two laps to go, and miraculously they were able to get the race going with one lap left. Not possible. They have to open the pits for at least one lap. If there were three laps left, it might be possible if they stopped the race immediately.
6) Cars are not built in a barn. Maybe in NASCAR's infancy, but by the 70's, things had changed tremendously, and if a NASCAR car was built that way, it would maybe finish the race. But could not contend for the win. It would be a thirtieth place car at best.
The story was pretty bad, too. If you watched "Top Gun" (another stinker, if you actually sit down and TRY to watch it), you've seen "Days of Thunder". Just with a different vehicle under Tom Cruise's butt. Even the racing scenes were boring.
Avoid this movie like the plague. Because if you don't, you'll fee like you have the plague after you're done watching it. It's so bad, on a rating of Zero to Five stars, it owes one.