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American Gigolo (2022)
Uses superficial elements of the original film sparingly because its unsure what it wants to say
I was an impressionable teenager when the film came out, and even though the film can be viewed a cautionary tale, I was still taken by the style and lifestyle of Julian Kaye. Like Pacino in Scarface, young men tell themselves they'd be different and not get taken by the excesses. The majority of the American Gigolo series is also cautionary, and was a good angle to take for television as they would have time to get into the origin story of Julian Kaye. Performances were strong by all parties, which was needed because the scripting was only slightly better
than average, among other more problematic elements. The most noticeable to me was how passive they made Julian Kaye when compared to the film's character. Granted, much of the film showed him when in his prime so his cockiness and self-assuredness could be expected, but even when his house of cards fell and he became desperate, there was an animalistic strength to it. They wrote Bethernol's to be slower, less verbal, less intelligent, and to be a victim since his childhood. This of course played into the plotting of the series, but I think they could've still done an origin story with him as a victim that would have been true to the original character. However, if you're like many who thought "why are they making a tv series about a marginally received film from 40 years ago" you could also figure that they were going to take it in directions that were in poor judgment. A lesser issue was the repeated use of some of the same flashbacks, which was mostly unnecessary and somewhat insulting to the intelligence of the viewers. The last problem I want to mention was with its consistency of message. You've got dark and somber narratives within each episode, clashing hard against the ""Call Me" intro sequence, which clearly celebrates the gigolo lifestyle of beauty, flash, and privilege. It's so bad that at the end of the sequence they should have posted a message "...and now back to our regularly scheduled program". The most egregious use of this was at the very end of the series, after Julian has come out the other side of all that was thrown at him and has forsaken all his gigolo colleagues, when they run a "getting back on the gigolo saddle" sequence, with celebratory music and all the flash of the intro sequence. It seems that they were saying, "we took you on this odd adventure but now we're going to give you what we think you really want because we really have no idea what to do next." Showtime was wise to close the book on this one, although not so for developing it in the first place.
The Gray Man (2022)
Impressive action sequences at times, but lacks original dialogue and characterizations.
I liked the Gray Man, but it could have been so much better. As I was watching I felt as though I was watching a cross between a Bourne and Bond film due to action, location, story, characters, etc. It didn't help that Armas was just in a Bond film. I liked her performance and most enjoyed Chris Evans's, although his dialogue could have been better (true of every character). The fight sequences were well done, and there was an inner-city action sequence in the middle of the film that was especially impressive. That all said, with better dialogue and character development/scene choice, and less derivative content from Bourne and Bond, it could have been a much better film. Not the worst way for an action fan to spend 2 hours, but you will find better fare out there.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Failed to jump into B-movie schlock with both feet
Which could have made this stupid tale much more enjoyable. Instead, they only had a light dusting of it, and it just made for film with a conflicting and confusing vibe. It was interesting to see some actors at the beginning of their careers, which was the one notable thing about it. The other is that it's so bad that it makes you wonder how much SLJ got paid for this crap. I can only hope that it was 8 figures, but doubt. Pass.
La nuit a dévoré le monde (2018)
A protagonist so dumb that he doesn't deserve to live
I won't give you any spoilers, but will say that after several instances of "Sam" doing things that would severely endanger his chance to survive the zombie apocalypse, I started rooting for the zombies to take him out. Only the mentally disabled could do worse. The story was slow and Sam's journey wasn't that interesting. I'd like my 90 minutes back.
Closer (2004)
About people trying to love but clueless on what it's about
The film had me hooked from the start - a slow mo sidewalk city scene with a funky Natalie Portman walking among the masses towards Jude Law doing the same, while Damien Rice's "The Blower's Daughter" plays. They catch each other's eye and can't look away. One of those fleeting magical moments of life that consumes you, special because it rarely happens. The truth of it is that this phenomena happens more often with people who like the idea of love, but don't know how to get there or sustain it if they even do. That's what the characters of this film are and what they do is based on it. The dialogue and intensely drawn out conversation scenes are not something you see much of in film today, and that's a shame. It can be torturous at times to watch these misguided souls wreck what they have based on whims and it's primarily due to their own lack of self-exploration. It won't be a film for everyone, especially today's ADHD-conditioned audiences. I thought it was fascinating in the way it pulled you in and made you want to see the disaster that was bound to befall the characters. Few films like this out there - check it out.
Red Oaks (2014)
Never lived up to its potential
After an engaging, tone-setting plot, I was expecting a continuation of the irreverence, but got mostly vanilla. You could tell that the writers didn't know where they wanted to go much of the time. While there were a few touching moments, most of what was seen played it safe so everything worked out for all concerned in the end. Go elsewhere.
Everly (2014)
Torn
First off, I'd like to thank the executive producers that funded this film for offering one of the most beautiful women in the world enough money to get her to agree to play a character in a film that wears nothing but tight-fitting clothing, very little of it at times, and all the while contorting her rocking bod in a variety of different ways from start to finish. For Salma, judging from the quality of many of your past roles and productions, I imagine that you were paid well and likely in an amount that few who are reading it would freely turn away from. Regarding the acting, dialogue and plot, mediocre at best and cringe-worthy (even LOL) at times. This is clearly a film where it is best that you leave your brain at the door, provided that you have anything to work with in the first place. The camera work, lighting and sound is solid Hollywood crew fair, so hat's off to all of the behind the scenes crew that likely worked their tails off. I'm giving this a 5 because of Hayek's beauty, the crew's solid work and because I was rarely bored even if I was laughing at something that the filmmakers didn't intend for me to laugh at.
Madtown (2016)
Unrealistic and ultimately depressing
While I don't necessarily mind if a film is depressing if everything else works, when it is done so by way of creating a world that doesn't ring true, that signals a failure to me. I think the writing is probably the ultimate culprit, although you might be able to make a case for the editing to have a hand in it. Things like there only being 6 or 7 people to run the restaurant that Milo's character works at, the overly convenient final scene where Milo is confronted by characters from his past, and the stand-up crowd's reaction to his stand-up (especially the final scene of it), just didn't ring true, and made the writing look lazy. The actors did very well with what they were given and other film elements were on par with most films these days, but the story and its particulars failed in the end. Spend 2 hours of your life another way.
Upload (2020)
Interesting concept undermined by a by the numbers story
There's a lot to like about the concept and look of Upload, and these are the reasons I gave it a 6 rather than a 4. Without them, Upload's gushing, predictable teen-appeasing characters and interactions would grow tiresome more quickly than they ultimately do - unless we're a teen. There's some occasional clever inventiveness here, but in the end its overwhelmed by the aforementioned.
Ettor nollor (2014)
Washed out look and story
Sometimes washing out the color in a film's imaging can age impact to the story and setting, but that is often when shot selections and the environments photographed contribute as well - not so here. As for the story, it seems that 2/3 of the story was also washed out and tiresome, and things only picked up in the final hour of this 3 hour movie. There's a touch of The Usual Suspects idea going on here, but it is awkwardly tacked on at the end as a means to make up for wasting 3 hours of your life. Pass.
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
A lot of fun, but misses being a classic
It had been awhile since I had such a good time seeing a movie. Maybe it was that I saw GOTG on a rainy day during a vacation, or maybe it was just that I was genuinely surprised that GOTG had some originality rather than being another over-rated, paint-by-numbers superhero movie.
Regarding the latter, many of us have grown weary of The Dark Knight, Avengers, and other superhero films that get 8's or 9's here or 80 or 90 plus rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and repeatedly fail to live up to those expectations. Of course, GOTG IS over-rated (much less than the other superhero movies), but that's more of a statement about the flaw in the Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb ratings systems than anything.
GOTG is more original than those other films because of witty dialogue and memorable/original characters. Chris Pratt's "Starlord", "Rocket Racoon" and "Groot" were my favorites and at least one of them will likely be yours as well. The other characters are more supportive and serve that role admirably. I did have a quibble about the 2 main bad guys - one of them needed to go because it just cluttered the field and storyline. While this probably made sense to the fanboys, I'd never heard of GOTG before this movie and it was likely made to appeal to a broader audience than just fanboys.
The thing that prevents it from being a classic (or "A New Hope" - seriously?) is that the story is fairly run of the mill and not nearly as expansive or original as what you would see in a classic sci-fi film. The best sci-fi films introduce an original world that even after the credits roll still has huge potential to continue in a number of directions, with great depth and vision. GOTG has some unresolved story lines to give it a place to go, but it's world/idea is too small to have the breadth of possibilities that one would find in Star Wars, Alien, The Matrix, etc. However, not all of the sequels to these films succeeded (Matrix, recent Star Wars sequels/prequels), but this was due more to the failure of script and direction than lack of potential. Of course, that does give GOTG hope - with a well- written sequel that adds original story elements to the fun dialogue and characters we could have a series that rises above its solid, but limited beginnings.
Maybe that's what all this "New Hope" talk is all about?
Mirrors (2008)
dumb premise and why did Sutherland do this film?
While scenes were played about as well as could be expected from the material, the premise killed this movie. Way too flimsy in my opinion. And why would Kiefer do this film amidst his big 24 success? Must have been bored and needed the distraction. Paula Patton is too beautiful to keep picking dogs like this - if MI-4 is as good as MI-3 she will be moving in the right direction. The gore was over the top, but viewers should have realized that after the opening sequence. If they don't bail out by then, then it's their own fault if they make it to the horrific bathtub scene and get grossed out (and start developing TMJ issues :). I didn't like the cheap scares which combined something springing at the camera accompanied by some jolting sound. If you have to do that a lot it shows your story is weak. It also makes the viewer expect it and lessens future attempts. Spend your time watching something else.