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roncarnes95
Reviews
Licorice Pizza (2021)
Zero chemistry, little charm from the leads
It's not that the leads acting skills were questionable. They were both fine. The problem is, when you have a movie that is TOTALLY character driven with almost no plot, you better nail the casting. I didn't dislike Haim or Hoffman, but couldn't give a rat's ass about them either. They didn't have nearly enough charm and chemistry to keep me interested in the plot points. Points that were invented just for them to do something - anything. It felt like the casting was done in search of social media buzz: "We've got a woman who's in a buzz band with her sisters, and the child of a beloved, late actor! Done and DONE!" Not that Paul Thomas Anderson helped them out with the lazy writing. A random episode of Axe Cop has more meaning than this film.
The casting of Bradley Cooper, Tom Waits, Sean Penn and other big names was wasted. It's a shame, because while they couldn't have *saved* the movie, if used better they could have kept me from checking the time every 15 minutes. By the way, WTF was the deal with Cooper's character? He existed just to be weird - not funny weird, just odd. His presence was annoying, frustrating and pointless. Penn's William Holden was the only one that really added anything.
The Cube (2021)
Jeopardy has too much HARD CORE ACTION for you? This is your show.
Booooooring. Though it would be the perfect companion to a warm glass of milk and a shot of thorazine. The "action" must be too much for the producers too. Their choice of source music that sounds like Enya playing a didgeridoo says as much.
Family Guy: The Movement (2020)
Could only take 5 minutes
I can't comment on this episode's take on social movements, because I turned it off after 5 minutes. The baseball jokes were written by someone who might have seen one game. The same awful chatter gag was repeated ad nauseam. It wasn't funny the first time. Meg getting traded to American Dad would be a promotion, not a demotion.
Rel (2018)
Cancel this, give W. Kamau Bell a new show
Love Rel in Get Out. His charm shines through in even a very small role. The fact that it rarely does here shows how bad the show is. Not just the writing, but it's whole aura. The constant low lighting, the almost complete lack of even incidental music - it lands like a manhole cover. I'd like to see if it can be fixed or retooled. Parks and Rec was very mediocre its first season, and Conan was a disaster his first year or so. But there's so much wrong here....
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Zzzzzzzzz.....
Want to know how to make a superhero movie mind numbingly boring? See this movie. I think Howard's End had more action.
Bordertown (2016)
Just. Not. Funny.
Some reviewers try to assign depth to this show that just isn't there. These same people must have written thesis papers on the philosophical lessons imparted by The Three Stooges. Warner Brothers cartoons had more depth. And laughs. Ironically, the only thing funny about Bordertown is the reviews saying viewers are too PC to laugh at it. It's just a lame, forgettable show. There's a reason why it was swiftly cancelled.