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darkzumi
Reviews
Mars (2016)
0/10! Church of Global Warming & Liberalism propaganda
It was really bad the first season, but the second season is a million times worse! It's painfully obvious the only reason they brought it back after so long is as a propaganda platform. Almost HALF of each episode is dedicated to fruity quacks sermonizing on their liberalism-based RELIGION of Humans Are Bad. The show is completely unwatchable now! The show still has all the problems it had the first season, as well. Any time the story gets interesting or the drama peaks, they cut away to dry lectures of pseudo-science by boring quacks like Neil Degrasse Tyson. DON'T WATCH THIS GARBAGE.
S.W.A.T. (2017)
SPOILERS! Don't watch - GARBAGE SHOW!
**SPOILERS**
Wow, this show has so many negative reviews, and rightly so! Unlike a number of them I'm not even going to nitpick the huge amount of inaccuracies of how they portray SWAT, or the tactics and methods they use in real life compared to the show. That's already been aptly done by other reviewers. No, sir. The main reason I'm going to sh** all over this garbage masquerading as a TV show is all the retarded SJW propaganda, terrible acting, and poor plot!
SJW Nonsense: It starts out with one of the SWAT guys accidentally shoots a black guy. Surprise, surprise, it's a white guy! He promptly gets fired with no due process, investigation, or fairness. Clearly he's an evil racist, right? Then the racist leader of the precinct or whatever promotes a black guy, as a PR stunt, ahead of the more experienced member that was next in line to take command of the unit. The guy screwed over is of course white, but he's an evil racist and thus deserves it, right libtards? I could go on almost forever because the social programming they place in the show never ends. All white cops are portrayed as evil racists, except (sometimes)for the ones that work for Shemar's character. All the black characters are reduced to a mess of negative stereotypes, if I were black I would honestly be offended by how black people are shown in this show. Most (13 out of 14) of my black friends and coworkers agree with me on this.
No Plot: There's no coherent plot, character development or growth (in the two episodes I watched), and everything is all action all the time. The "T" in SWAT stands for tactics, but the producers and director obviously didn't the memo on that. They might as well get Michael Bay to direct and produce this. They should just save time and not have the actors and actresses talk at all, since there's no plot to attach the dialog to.
Terrible Acting: The only decent acting done so far is Shemar's character and the former SWAT leader who got canned. Even Shemar's good acting is ruined by his character being a confused, mixed jumble of cop and black stereotypes. The other actor I like that does a decent job of acting is hardly given any screen time.
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
"Faithful remake", my foot! Politically correct garbage.
WARNING: This will be very rant-y, read at your own risk, also contains spoilers. First off, this remake is an insult to the original! Everything chilling about the original is instead poorly parodied as campy, goofy cheese. It's like the writers and directors purposefully set out to lampoon the original and ruin its legacy! Even by 90s standards, this movie it terrible (and that's saying something). The whole movie just screams "low budget", and the writers/director obviously didn't care how the movie turned out, as long as it was finished so hellywood could crank out another by-the-numbers remake. The main character woman magically goes from a helpless feeb into a rambo-esque bad-ass that almost never misses a head shot to a zombie and, at one point, literally just mosies on past all the zombies as she leaves the farm, even though before it was a life and death struggle where she barely escaped from only one or two of them.
What really kills the movie for me is how they made it into a liberal politically correct propaganda film. Most of the characters are hillbillies of the worst kind, and at one point they're having an almost carnival-like "county fair" deal, with the movie showing some guy in a ring with a zombie and people taking potshots at zombies strung up on ropes, clearly using the zombies being "victimized" by the hillbillies as an analogy for blacks being lynched/attacked by "racist whiteys". The lead actress even makes an insipid little snark about it, telling the audience that the hillbillies are just as bad or worse as the zombies are.
Shame on you, Savini! >:O
Pizza Masters (2014)
Entertaining show with great hosts!
Not sure if this review counts as having spoilers, so I clicked the spoiler option just in case.
I LOVE this show. Sal and Francis are really amusing and entertaining hosts for the show. Watch them travel around America where they find some of the best pizza spots in the nation! Both of the hosts have great personalities and they definitely know everything about pizza. They truly deserve the title "Pizza Masters". Not only is the show great for showcasing all the different types of pizza that restaurants serve, but you also get to see great cities across America. Sal and Francis meet great people that are serving great food. WARNING: watching this show WILL make you hungry! Besides the pizza, these two cousins also eat (and often cook) all different kinds of good food on the show. I highly recommend this show if you like cooking, or even if you just really love pizza (like me, lol). :)
Xena: Warrior Princess (1995)
Worst show ever!!!
Quite possible the lamest fantasy show ever to to be inflicted upon humanity! Terrible acting, lame casting, cheesy and awkward dialog, plot holes you could drive a semi through, stupid scripts, and even more problems ruined this show. The only reason to watch this show is if you are a guy or a lesbian and want some eye candy, but don't want anything past rated PG-13. This show was so terrible it makes me want to invent a time machine and go back in time to make it so the show was never made.
The makers of this show tried to cash in on Xena's good looks, but it didn't work. That this show ever made it past one season is nothing short of mind boggling. Also, they counted on fans of Hercules the Legendary Journeys liking it, but Hercules and this Xena show are WORLDS apart! They might have both been fantasy, but were completely different shows. In short, don't waste your time watching this.
Ninja Cheerleaders (1990)
Waste of time!
*** This review may contain spoilers *** This movie is an utter waste of time! Seriously, I want the time I spent watching this movie back. Even smashing my face on a brick wall would be more entertaining than this "movie" was. Terrible acting is the chief issue with this movie. The casting was horrible - I hate every actor/actress who was in this!!! Another problem (one of the MANY) is the awful plot! Not going to go into it to prevent spoilers though. The movie might have been tolerable if they had decent lines and the jokes/humorous scenes were actually funny - but they weren't. The movie must have been written by drunk monkeys high on acid! To conclude my ranting review: DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Kill it, kill it with fire!
This movie is what happens when someone with no talent writes a script, then people with no talent act it out, while someone with no talent directs it! The movie is slow, and pointless. The "jokes" are nothing of the kind, I laughed maybe once the entire movie. I would have walked out of the movie after 10 minutes, but I was there with a friend. I could feel my brain cells dying from "moron radiation" being emitted from the movie. The story goes from one plot point to another with extreme awkwardness, it is painful to watch. Everything about this movie seems forced, from the acting to the settings of the scenes. Another thing that bugs me is I can't place the movie's setting in time, it could be anywhere from the 70s to the 90s. I get the main character Napoleon is supposed to be quirky and odd, but the actor seems like a mental patient that was drafted at gunpoint and pistol-whipped into doing the movie.