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Reviews
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
Like a live-action Saturday morning cartoon
Judging by some other comments I probably enjoyed this more as someone who didn't know much about the G I Joe universe before watching this.
It reminds me a lot of the children's action cartoons I enjoyed so much as a child growing up in the 80s. The action is non-stop with lots of fighting, shooting, car chases, explosions etc - and there are some pretty decent special effects too. Yes – it is shallow – but those Saturday morning cartoon shows weren't exactly Shakespeare either. It's also got a very silly plot – but again, so did the cartoon shows. As long as you treat it as such I thought that it more than hit the spot in terms of providing loud, flashing, thrilling and credulity-bending entertainment.
One final comment is that I actually found the violence to be a bit more than I probably expected. Quite a few people clearly die (none of that A Team-esquire shaking of the head here) and there are some quite shocking bits involving decapitations, impalements and melting faces. Any parents wanting to show this to younger children should bear this in mind.
To summarize, if the aim was to capture that Saturday morning cartoon show feel but do so with some state-of-the-art CGI effects then Stephen Sommers has done a cracking job. Come on Stephen – make some more films. We forgive you for Van Helsing.
Eden Lake (2008)
Truly horrible - which is the point
This is a very disturbing film in the vein of 'Them' - with a young couple being terrorised by a gang of feral chav kids. It's uncomfortable viewing to say the least but its very believable. For those who don't think kids could be like this they only need to look in the papers for coverage of happy slapping violence, senseless knife murders and gangs of savage kids. Sure - it's very sensationalist but I can personally think of real life events that mirror a lot of the violence in this film. Regarding the ending - and without giving anything away - I did like its bleak tone but found this to be the only really unbelievable part. When you see the film you'll know what I mean by THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT WITH ALL THE EVIDENCE THEY'D GET AWAY WITH IT. As for the rest of the film, however, if you don't believe kids could do that, just open your morning paper.
Mum & Dad (2008)
The British Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm a big fan of horror films and but I have to say that quite often film makers are too easily tempted into throwing gratuitous sex in as a way of selling their films. To this extent I was quite impressed with the way this film suggested that this was just around the corner but(mostly) just referenced sex (apart from when you first meet 'Dad' - which is probably the most disgusting thing I've seen in a film for a long time) and instead stuck to gore as a way of shocking its audience. As a dark comedy, the elements were very subtle. I know a few comments have centred on the fact that it's not 'laugh out loud' and that's true, but the way it takes what are otherwise normal family interactions but completely twists them with this warped family works very well. To me, that's where the humour lies - sibling rivalry but arguing about theft and murder rather than who has the most chips. There's also some of the most imaginative use of human body parts as decorations that would put Leatherface and his family to shame. If you like horror films, I'd watch this. It's truly shocking but with a subtle humour - like the unnatural union of Fred & Rose West with the Royle Family.
The Haunting (1999)
Flawed but still creepy
I only saw this film recently even though it's been out for almost 10 years now - but I definitely think that it's worth watching. The film builds pretty slowly and the house itself if wonderfully mad in its layout - leading to some pretty good set pieces. There's a bit of gore but most of the 'horror' is moans, groans and chases - with a nicely dark back story to build the tension. The biggest downside is the 'special' effects - they're quite frankly awful. When a ghost is crawling down the wall, you don't really want to be laughing at the shoddy computer graphics so a great deal of the tension is lost. Aside from that, this feels like an old fashioned ghost story and for those looking for a film that slowly builds the tension and opts for creepiness and shocks rather than gore, it's worth checking out.
The Ring (2002)
Easily better than the original
To remake a 'cult' classic it seems, is to incur the wrath of those who loved the original so much that any thought of remaking it is blasphemy. This, it seems, is despite the imperfections of the original. For a horror film to be truly effective, however, never have the 'imperfections' been so important. For a horror film to work properly, you actually have to be scared. It has to be like the ghost stories older kids told you when you were kids (not the censored version your parents told you).
I think in terms of the 'The Ring' I was lucky in that I got to see the American version first. As a result, I didn't know the story and so seeing this version of the story as my first view of the tale had the same effect on me (no doubt) as people who saw the Japanese original for the first time.
I often believe that an original is better than it's remake ('The Vanishing', 'Yojimbo', 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' to name many). Let's not even bring 'The hitcher' into this discussion. In this case, however, the far superiour production values of the original make for a much scarier film than the original. I watched this version - the hairs stood up on my legs as I was watching it. I saw the original afterwards and it didn't have anyway near the same effect. Sure - you say - you knew what was coming! That's true - but then I watched this version again I had almost exactly the same sensation as when i watched it the first time.
Why? That's easy. For a film to work you need to be willling to suspend your disbelief. For a horror film to be scary, this is even more important. The superior production values of the remake make it much easier to suspend your disbelief and therefore it is more effective as a horror piece. Compare one directly to the other and you;ll see that the story is in no way compromised - but that the characters are richer, the acting is better, the effects are way, way ,way, way better and the tension is even more drawn out.
Simply put THIS is EXACTLY how to take an original film that used story to scare the bejesus out of you and then make a better film that has the same fundamental psychological effect. Those working on the "A Nightmare on Elm Street' remake please, please, PLEASE take note.
The Magnificent Seven (1960)
Why remakes can be as good as sequels
One thing always amazes me when it comes to lists rating the best films of all time - why does 'The Seven Samuri' always make it into the top ten but 'The Magnificent Seven' doesn't even make the top 250. To say that this film isn't at least as good is ridiculous. Sure - it's a copy of an original story but why has that ever been an issue before? 'The Godfather' is based on a book - as are many great films - so why should a remake be less worthy than a film version of a novel. When Akira Kurusawa made 'The Seven Samuri' he based it on his love of the 'Western' genre. So a Western based on a film designed to emulate a classic western is a no-brainer.
In my opinion, 'The Magnificent Seven' is at least as good, if not better, than 'The Seven Samuri'. For a start, the pacing is better, the characters are better defined, the line between good and bad is less clear and (and why should this not be taken into consideration) the production values are better. But for me it's the character study aspects that are far better in 'The Magnificent Seven'. Each individual character, large and small, in this film is perfectly defined - not just the Samuri / Gunslingers but the bandits and the villagers too.
They say that hindsight is a wonderful thing. In this case I'd more than agree. 'The Magnificent Seven' takes what 'The Seven Samuri' presented, transfers it to (and let's be honest here) it's originally intended setting and makes each individual character stand out far more prominently than it's Japanese counterpart.
That there's effectively a 10% difference between the two films in ranking IMDb terms is almost a crime. "Yojimbo" is ten times the film that "For a fist full of dollars" is - but in this case (for once) the American remake is the superior film. Let's not be pretentious when it comes to ranking a 'foreign' film against a 'domestic' version. You CAN improve on greatness - here's the cinematic proof.
Mongol (2007)
Beautiful film but disjointed
As both a big fan of historical epics (both foreign and domestic) I was very much looking forward to this film. Sadly I found it to be very much a mixed bag: some truly great cinematography, some pretty decent acting and some effective action scenes - but also some serious pacing issues, strange narrative decisions (ages spent on some scenes then skipping over major events with a ridiculously skimpy voice-over) and a very rushed ending. My friends and I discussed the film afterwards and we all felt like we'd watched a cut down version of the film - it didn't make any sense to take such a long time on some elements (I loved much of the attention to detail and pacing in the first 30 minutes for example) but then to make huge leaps forward in the story towards the end seemed to suggest that large parts were missing. Our ultimate view is that this wasn't the case but was down to poor direction and / or editing decisions. Overall I thought that this film was a waste - a great story, some fine actors and excellent cinematography but let down by big sections that dragged and a rushed ending.
Jason X (2001)
Great for fans
If you don't like horror films and are not a fan of the "Friday the 13th" series then you were never going to enjoy this. If you are a fan of the series, however, then this is a great addition - the comedy elements really work and the special effects are great - adding extra impact to the shock-horror scenes. I watched this on DVD and the DTS soundtrack was fantastic... with the sirens going off around me and the rumble of the explosions I really appreciated the extra effort put into this film.
For those who took this film too seriously, have you ever heard the expression "tongue in cheek"?