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Lost: Dave (2006)
child roleplay episode
In a land where mysteries unfold,
There's a tale of a man, both brave and bold.
Hurley, his name, known far and wide,
For his love of food, he couldn't hide.
Island life, harsh and wild,
Yet he faced it with a smile, like a child.
With each step, his presence felt,
In his love for food, his heart would melt.
He'd stuff his face, with no restraint,
In every scene, a food-filled saint.
From dawn till dusk, his appetite vast,
In a world so strange, he's a contrast.
His girlfriend's care, tender and kind,
Helped him manage the cravings he'd find.
She stood by him, like a mother so dear,
In her eyes, he found no fear.
Through the jungle, the beach, under the sun,
His journey in "Lost," uniquely spun.
A story of a man, with a hunger so real,
In a world surreal, his relatable appeal.
The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)
napolean dynamite level of absurdity
I just have to say, this movie is obviously a comedy, and it was very well done. It had some sad parts, but otherwise was just too ridiculous to ever take seriously. Everything to do with nuances and stuff you wouldn't quite notice right away. Nobody tells you to laugh, and none of the actors are laughing, and its similar to Napolean Dynamite in that way. Just absurd, funny, easy watching. Wish there was less gore / depressing stuff because it doesn't really fit the context imo, but it was pretty sparse so it wasn't much to handle. Some A+ quality content you'll probably never see anywhere else because the context is just a completely different vibe.
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
actually not good at all
The majority of the movie is just dialogue that's supposed to be witty, cool, idk. Honestly it's just really boring and lame. I had to rewatch pulp fiction to make sure I didn't recommend someone a bad movie. Pulp fiction is an entirely different tier; this movie should be 7/10 tops, to me personally it was worse than 6 because I don't really understand the point. I fast forwarded through most scenes after 5-10 minutes of pointless chit chat.. not intentionally but as a result of the movie repeatedly reminding me how much a waste of time it currently was. Anyways, I do not recommend it, the whole plot could have been shown in 15-30 minutes.
This Is England (2006)
feels like you're in a drug den, volunteering for vile choices
We loved how this movie started off, a bunch of punks having fun and very wholesome / funny, but after 20 minutes it turns really dark and disgusting, just full of racism and awful decor. The movie turns into a middle age biker gang hanging out in a plain apartment with no character aside from skinhead racism and violence. I seriously don't know why anyone would bother watching something so vile, then rating it highly of all things. This movie is terrible, this is not the vibe you go for when watching a movie, it's not even redeeming, just watching the life of a kid getting tugged in terrible directions, and its not even beautiful in a dark way. The first twenty minutes were good until your friend from prison comes and ruins everything for the rest of the movie.
House of the Dragon (2022)
what in the world happened
Ok, the first few episodes were intriguing, but around episode 5 and definitely episodes 6 and 7 it just entirely falls apart. I really wanted to like this show, but I'll list all the reasons I just can't bear any more of it. First of all, there are major gaps in the plot line, like killing someone with a horse without actually showing how you made the horse kill somebody. Secondly, switching out the main actress was an absolutely terrible idea, unless it was her or her agent's idea, in which case I'm glad they left. She was the show, and once she was gone there was nothing redeeming left. Episode 6 is literally pitch black like they forgot to turn the master brightness up from 5%, did anyone ever actually watch it before it was released? The wigs are absolutely ridiculous and it makes no sense that people with dark skin wearing awful wigs would be living on a cloudy coastline and have such dark skin, nor how mixing genetics randomly gets you children will fully dark skin again. Nothing in this show has any purpose, meaning, or sense about it, it's just aimless drama where a bunch of cheap scenes are filmed with people talking about their heritage or how its suddenly the end of the world, when in reality there is actually nothing wrong with the world, and their sibling is actually a completely different actor or just didn't age nearly as much as the ones who didn't get replaced. Seriously, this show turned out to be awful. I don't understand how they can do such a poor job and get away with it. Everyone in episode 6 should be fired for the lighting, absolutely F quality material and with such a high budget its an absolute immoral shame.
House of the Dragon: Driftmark (2022)
a joke of wigs, no plot, and awful lighting
Why do the people with dark skin live in a cloudy environment? Why are the children darker with such ridiculous wigs? Why do they only talk about heritage? This episode is literally pitch black like.. i cannot be the only one to notice these obvious issues.. im bored out of my mind and somehow this is rated 9/10?? What is interesting about this episode?? I cannot believe people actually worked to create this episode, its an absolute shame. Im going to venture on a guess there is no underlying book of substance this is based on because watching awful drama in pitch black with ridiculous wigs is certainly not entertainment.
Doraibu mai kâ (2021)
really calm and beautiful
Kinda makes a shame out of our adrenaline junky movies nowadays, we really appreciated the slow but beautiful pace. Wasn't a huge fan of the "play" scenes or the petty drama, but it was enjoyable, we watched over two days.
Fargo (1996)
who cares
For fans of idiocracy, don't look up, and other annoying time wasting traps that somehow help stupid people to feel better about themselves, annoying personalities are way overdone, literally the main feature of this if there is one. The villains are way more entertaining than everything else in the movie, just a bunch of pathetic people doing a pathetic job at everything in their lives. This movie makes minnesotans out to be complete idiots, which is also insensitive. Overall an awful movie, as soon as the detective gets the call the movie just goes off a cliff into boredom.
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Slow, exceptional, and quality
It's astounding that people can't appreciate a show of this quality. I really don't think it gets better than this, every scene is a new world. This show is largely flawless, with exceptions few and far between. The dialogue is interesting and analogous to our real world. It's an escape from reality with amazing imagery, soundtrack, costume design, acting, plot, etc, and it's such a shame that people somehow don't get it. I've seen terrible movies like "Don't Look Up" and I feel for the people who poured their souls into this show. I miss watching this show, we finished it a few days ago. It's not perfect, but in my opinions it's as good as it gets. Thank you for creating such a beautiful show.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Boring and the opposite of inspirational
Modern-day Idiocracy, which also sucked. Honestly just a waste of time; it's supposed to be funny, but it's annoying, including the soundtrack. I don't relate to anyone in the movie, and I can't believe people rated this movie highly. What part is funny? It's like "kill the haters because you're badass" rap music, Borat, Jackass, and all the other garbage out there.
Weird Earth (2020)
Breath of fresh air
Awesome visuals, good vibes in general, and all around just enjoyable to have on in the background.
Much better than a typical "cops" show, but with a similar mystery being solved, and much nicer visuals.
The Suicide Squad (2021)
i never write reviews but this is terrible
Gruesome scenes aren't edgy and randomness isn't funny, booking good actors doesn't fix any of it. The music is terrible, the plot is unbearable, i would rather watch anything else, seriously this movie is awful, i will remember not to watch anything by this writer. I can't believe how bad this is when they obviously had a good budget and employees. Why are the superpowers so stupid? I'm not sure what anyone would gain by watching this, even the music is 10 years old.
Pompeii (2014)
10/10 -- Great movie to see
It's like the Notebook/Titanic, but with 300/Spartacus for men!
1) great fight scenes
2) brilliant romance
3) good art
4) horrible acting
10/10 no questions asked, I saw it in 3D and was expecting a whole lot worse than I got
That being said, this is a prime example of how smoking makes a 6/10 movie 10/10
If I saw this movie without blazing, I would have been mad at the unrealistic acting, but acting is all fake, and when I was faded, I thought it was hilarious!
Do yourself a favor and see this movie, even if it means getting it on DVD instead of going to the theaters for 3D!!
Spring Breakers (2012)
good background movie for a party, but no quality
i don't normally do reviews, im just gonna spew my thoughts -mainstream music (skrillex scary monsters nice sprites) -cool colors -dumb plot -dumb ending -overextended scenes (the producer couldn't think of additional shots and kept repeating the same audio and video) -lots of boobs -james franco says yall way too much
there was really nothing special about this movie other than you can get it at redbox. the plot was beyond retarded and made no sense at all. probably 1/4 of the movie was fun to watch. i would recommend staying away, im gonna check out that 1995 kids movie though. if you're throwing a party and want something to keep the stoners busy on the couch, this is your movie, but otherwise its literally WTF