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Bird Box (2018)
1/10
Bird Plops
12 January 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I've seen pretty much all if SB's movies and to be honest.... I really didn't think they could get much worse.....A stock zombie apocalypse story line.... disparate personalities that conflict with each other for survival against something that is never really explained.... and at the end of a grueling 2 hours... in the last 40 seconds turns out to be a rather poorly articulated demonstration of the idea that a physical disability isn't always a handicap.....How patronizing are they trying to be?
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Bodyguard: Episode #1.3 (2018)
Season 1, Episode 3
Excellent show one big gaff
16 September 2018
Just a small point, at about 34:50 ish episode 3 when a minister is driven to the door of number 10, an officer opened the door for him. Number 10's door can ONLY be opened from the inside! This scene would not be possible.
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Independents' Day (2016 Video)
1/10
Oh good grief
8 June 2016
I really am struggling to find the words to describe JUST how bad this movie is. Poor CGI. TERRIBLE acting. Obviously a rip off story... Poor narrative that doesn't come close to the original movie which wasn't exactly poetry in motion itself.

It's just impossible to understand why they can get away with pumping out this nonsense. Or how even struggling actors get involved in such nonsense.. although I guess sometimes you have to do what you have to do.... but oh dear god... the humiliation.... !!

Truly awful... avoid at all costs.

I didn't and now I have the scars to show for it.
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1/10
Possibly one of the worst movies ever made
15 May 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I realise that some movies have to be made just to capitalise on the current news thread, or on current issues. But really... this pile of absolute seaming propaganda and rhetoric is beyond what anyone could consider credible. I mean... ONE Presidential bodyguard Secret Service guy... tells an entire SAS team to stand down so he can go and sort itself out on his lonesome... REALLY.. Who..WHO would even consider that as even vaguely plausible? This move is full of the most ridiculous clichés and stereotypes.. COMPLETELY unbelievable story structure, and some pretty low budget effects. It was SO BAD I had to watch it to the end just to see HOW BAD it could possibly get... In that respect, it didn't disappoint.
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1/10
Utter Drivell
18 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
There really is nothing complementary to say about this steaming pile of conspiracy theory hyperbole.

It is filled from start to finish with the very worst collection of crackpot claims, laid forth as facts. If within the first two minutes of watching (maximum) you don't say to yourself... "Oh I see where this is going... pass the tin foil hats!!" I would be VERY surprised indeed. It has NO redeeming features what so ever, and no rational thinking individual has any need to even think about the merest possibility of contemplating the very idea of watching it.. The "science" is flawed, the assertions are just lunatic fringe ideas that you can find on many a crazy persons you-tube channel. Who ever funded this must be as mad as a hatter to believe in it, and to throw away their money. Utter UTTER Drivel....
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1/10
What a train wreck of a movie
24 May 2015
It'd difficult to know where to begin. Firstly I guess it's my own fault for not looking too closely, but this wasn't the movie I was expecting to be watching. A friend of mine worked on "San Andreas", and I know his FX work is way better than I was seeing on screen. The next big mistake was to carry on watching it. What an absolute pile of trash. 80 odd minutes I've lost for all time. Please take my advice, don't bother watching this movie, It's VERY badly acted, technically..! It would be very insulting to decent film and media students to compare them. And the....... actually, there's really no need to break it down any further. It is simply AWFUL.
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The Interview (II) (2014)
1/10
What a lemon..!!
30 December 2014
The hype that was generated prior to the eventual release of this "work" really was the only thing going for it. A masterful stroke of marketing genius, designed to reduce the astronomical level of losses that this truly terrible movie would have surely incurred had the release gone ahead in the manner that these things usually do.

And yes, I know it's meant to be a comedy about a plot to assassinate a dictator, but frankly it lacked both plot, and comedy. The humour was based on nothing more than a series of unintelligent, and very adolescent running gags, frankly way too young for either of the main leads to carry of with any credibility. The use of naive and exaggerated schoolboy racism, was at best, embarrassing but did lean more towards "just plain stupid" on most occurrences. The physical comedy, what there was of it, actually brought the level up a little, pretty much to "reasonable amateur" status.

This movie goes no where, and it does it very quickly. I am sure there will be some who will thoroughly enjoy this movie for what it is, but to be honest, I suspect most of them will at some stage in their lives, be the subject of an internet upload that uses the word "fail" in its title, and which involves the hideous consequences of the misuse of fireworks, sharp/blunt objects, and or a combination of those items when added to falling off things that any sensible person wouldn't have climbed on in the first place.

A real stinker
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3/10
Could have been better
18 January 2013
It's always going to be difficult to cover a subject matter such as this without either en-flaming prejudices or offending sensibilities, and regrettably this does neither. The story, while interesting due to it's historical background (although some details have been altered due to true to it's word "dramatic licence") Is an interesting story for study and analysis. But it's not really the stuff of blockbusters. The covert, well planned, long term, meticulous nature of the whole operation, pitted against the 'screen' frustration of a character depicting a real person, who no doubt is somewhat more professional in real life, is regrettably. Let down by poor scripting, lacklustre performances on all counts! and a poor execution of the subject material. If this had been portrayed as much as possible, and produced as much as possible as a documentary, fair play. But it's not....it's a movie, and not a very good one. You can't over dramatise a real sequence of events, as that would do dis-service to those who were really there (and there were some elements of that...but even they only warrant a "huh"), but to try and avoid that whilst trying to entertain....not an easy trick to pull off. The other downer is 2hrs 30 some?... Some movies can be 2:46, or more, yet it feels like time has flown by........I felt I'd been stuck to this for a day and a half........ Could have been better....possibly by not having been made? On the plus side, the guy who played Osama bin Laden (Ricky Sekhon I believe is his name) Cracking job, well played sir, a brief but important role.
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Cosmopolis (2012)
1/10
What? Were they having a bad day?
6 January 2013
Oh dear, it's a sad day when It's necessary to be overtly critical of a David Cronenberg film. Such a great director and writer, but I have a feeling that the claim that he wrote the entire screenplay in just 6 days, might not come across in quite the 'positive' aspect that may be intended.

We solved world famine in 6 days...very positive

We fixed the economy in 6 days....very positive

we sailed around the globe in 6 days (unbelievable)....but very positive..

wrote screenplay to $20M+ movie in 6 days.....err....I'm gonna have to ask a few questions if I may...????!!!!

There is I'm afraid only one thing I can find that was good about this movie, and that is Paul Giamatti's performance through the drivel he was given. A consummate professional.

Besides that, I have never even heard of such a misguided, self serving, pretentious, piece of pseudo intellectual clap trap.....

I would like to inform family and friends that I did make it through the full.....oh I don't know.....it felt like weeks...! And I'm OK.....I survived, if only just.

AVOID AVOID AVOID
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The Dictator (2012)
8/10
A pleasant surprise
21 June 2012
When I sat down to watch this movie I have to admit that I did so with a few preconceptions about what to expect. I was not impressed by Sacha Baron Cohens, Ryan Seacrest/ashes stunt as for me, it was just publicity for it's own sake, and, yes, I know, 'no such thing as bad publicity!' but still! poor! That aside, this movie, simple, and following a 'clash of cultures' format that has worked well for Cohen in the past (as well as for many others before him) it was entertaining and funny, while at the same time being racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic...all of those things we hate in the intolerant shadows of society, but all at a level that is made acceptable by the satirical nature of the movie. It's intended to be mildly offencive, and it is, but funny with it! Not rolling in the isle's funny, but funny!
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10/10
made in the spirit of a true Hammer
14 June 2012
The plot is simple, the narrative uncomplicated, and while never likely to really be a contender for any major awards, this is a movie that really embodies the greatest spirit of what a Hammer film is.

Dark and foreboding, surprising and suspenseful, while not overtly macabre, chilling, compulsive, and definitely cerebral.

While Daniel Radcliffe, will always have the spectre of Harry Potter over him, which is certainly nothing to be ashamed of, It could be considered odd that this outing was in some way in the same field? Mystical and supernatural, yet he ably puts the audience's preprogrammed expectations to one side as he admirably fills the role of the meek and personally troubled lawyer.

With a mesmerising supporting cast, outstanding writing and direction, this is a simple yet outstanding film.

Put plainly, a quality film, well worth watching. A+
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1/10
Utter Rubbish
24 February 2012
I can't really fully express just how bad this movie is! What were they thinking of when they made it? It was a sad day for British comedy when this pile was released. There is no real thread to the storyline, other than it follows a random pattern of events and is presented in a stereotype, mocumentary fashion that has really been done to death, and to greater effect.

Many of the subject themes are not only offencive, and I don't mean offencive in a shock comedy 'ok it's offencive but it's funny' way...I mean just plain offencive!

Sorry to be negative, but there really is not one good thing I can think of to say about this film......apart from that it does eventually end.
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