Reviews

Chris Foss! (Just saying')

Nevarro: Swamp Thing Pirates of the Caribbean pirate king pirate is back. What did I say in Eps1??!!?!?!

Somewhere nearby or not: Rebel pilot guys just chilling, space snooker, Blue "I'm going to Coruscant for permission to assist Apollo. Although I'm sure if we are this far out we should have autonomy."

Coruscant: Just like that, Coruscant. How near are these planets in this show?

Blue to office guy "I need permission" Ladies Man to Blue "No" Blue "you've turned me down, but I'm going to state a vague threat that you're not addressing or fixing, that will be conveniently left for the Mandos to.......fix." While verbally wagging my finger.

Droids are so funny, naughty Empire person. Let's mention Moff Gideon.

Hidy Hole Planet: Blue is off again to Mando Hidy Hole planet (just round the corner from Coruscant I believe; is this show Smallville? "Hey Clark I've just driven (an estimated) 30 plus minutes from town to your farm for a 2 minute chat, which seems a reasonable amount of time to spend travelling for a conversation of that length).

Lucky Blue got turned down, now there's a good reason for the Mandos to get involved.

Obviously they place a sentry or two for unarmed rebel pilots with open arms approaching their base, just not for dangerous Croco-Turtles and lethal Snatchy Foundling Eating Big-Bird Things.

"Hey, Main Mando I have a message from Greef , let me reach into my pocket for it." The Script: "All" Mandalorians point their weapons at Blue. What a hackneyed inane histrionic reaction; What's he got in his jacket that Beskar armour can't defend? Who, of the 20 plus Mandos there, was he going to attack first, let alone why?? Maybe it was a bomb, or even deadlier, a picture of two kittens.

The Mandos need to work on their ocular pat down.

Blue to Main Mando "anyway, here's the message thingy and this episode's Side Mission multiple action scenes: Unlocked. Bye."

We love a bit of R5-D4. At least someone sorted that bad motivator. And for showing Blue where the Mandos were hiding (and they really do pride themselves on their secrecy).

Cave: DJin to the cabal "I'm asking for an interference, bla, bla, convenient land gift reason, bla, bla." The crowd "mumble mumble" DJin "I'm holding the speaking hammer, shhhhh" Armorer Mando "anyone want to pip up?" Big Mando "I do!" "Bla, bla, bla, imperial butchers, bla, brothers and sisters die, bla, bla, sacrifice, bla, bla, Why??!!" (oh this can't be good, so negative, he's definitely against it)"because we are Mandalorians" (oh, I didn't see that coming, because my eyes were rolling to the back of my head.) "Make it so!"

"Jump on to my sweet, sweet spaceship and let's get going to Nevarro" says Bo-Katan Hannibal Smith Kryze "cause I've got a plan"

Nevarro: Drunk pirates who can't act drunk. Stumbly, stumbly. Or see where they are going through the masks. Shoot at snickering callback aliens.

Yay, Doozers. Sorry, Anzellans.

King Pirate " launch snubfighters it's the Main Mando" Aggrieved pirate from before "Blast that ship!" Other pirate "Understood." Seriously? "Understood"!!! He needs to be told?

DJin to Greef "We're here for convenient land gift" Action colourful Boba Fetts "Team Two, Team This, Team That, walk into obligatory fight scene." Finger signalling. They must know what they are doing.

Aggrieved Pirate "I'm on the N1". You already were!!! And if not, what were you doing?

Concurrent shoot-out and dog-fight action sequence, Tick.

Armorer Mando "with my Hammer and large tweezers I have evaded all pirates, avoided being boxed in, sneaky snuck around the back and hath saveth the day"

Oi, Random Mando, definitely don't fire your wrist rocket at the gun emplacement that was pinning everyone down, but at two pirate pedestrians.

Aggrieved Pirate "I'm off, so I can get my comeuppance in another episode" Pirate Seaweed King "in a puffers big eye I'll get us killed for more action and explosions, aarrrrrrgggghhh." Nooooo don't destroy the awesome Chris Foss spaceship.

They've won.

Everyone Cheer. Including Doozers.

Greef "Have some land."

A Forge. Again: Which means "words".

Armorer to Katee "wordy, wordy, bla, bla, bla, the writers have come up with a tenuous reason to take your helmet off, after banging on about keeping your helmet on every blooming episode I'm in, and after making DJin take a bath so he could join our club again, we must all walk together".

New Main Mission have a reason to see the actors faces: Unlocked. Nice.

Armorer to Dunces, I mean Mandalorians "exposition, reasons, shut it I'm the boss, no helmet for Katee!"

SPACE: Blue "I've found the Moff Gideon ship etc, etc, escape, beskar, is it a set up to frame the Mandalorians or is it a red herring because there are Baddy Mandalorians?" Other New Extra Main Mission get some more villains: Unlocked.

Awesome art. The End. At least I'm only two episode behind now. And I get to see Katee.

And does this episode score so high because we didn't have to put up with Big Ears so much? Ask yourself that fanboys.

So, the opening scene, just like episode 1 but jiggled around: Cute Grogu, Pointless Mandalorians (some of which are cgi afterthoughts), and peril from a giant beast attacking the conclave.

Cutsey Wootsey and crabs, Cosplayers go "Ahhhhhhh"

Pointless Mandos; practicing Ninja stuff like it was a 1960s spy movie. And Jedi paintball?

"Winged creature Ahoy" We find out this isn't the first time this winged beast has taken a Mando for lunch; POST A SENTRY FOR CHRISSAKES!

The writing for this season so far is only showing us how inept and backward the Mandalorian are.

Big Mando "We must follow it to its lair".

Let's follow by jet pack. (With) Not enough fuel. "I'm out of fuel. It always gets away". Maybe you should have used a ship you moron, seeing as this isn't the first time!

Does Mandalorian stand for dunce?

Katee, "at least someone's got brains! I'm following in my sweet sweet spaceship".

Katee returns, "I know where the big bird is, after following it in my sweet sweet spaceship (which sounds totally Star War), not my limited range jet packs."

Armorer Mando "go after the beast, but I've come up with a reason you can't use all those awesome weapons and explosives we have." Big Mando "and I have a great reason not to use our Jet Packs again".

Armorer Mando to Grogu "Now let's get to another boring moody scene where I hammer and melt stuff, or is it smelt? I'll check later, but will lead to the whole purpose of this episode."

Obligatory (but Awesome) Callback scene. Lame Jedi get cut down by clone troopers from Star War 3 protecting ole Cutsey Wootsey, doing just enough to get him to Boss Ninja Jedi in much appreciated double light sabre and escape scene. Naboo.

Oh, back to now. "Here have a large plate of metal to wear." You think as a skilled armorer she could make something useful and fitting for big ears.

Hunting group "Ok, let's camp here under this outcropping so we are out of line of sight from the monster bird, until we all leave to eat, because of this dumb custom we have." Just all turn around and face away from each other. "This is the way". ("the way of idiots")

"Let's climb, but don't forget no jet packs or weapons for the purpose to draw out this scene and lead into the next flying action scene." Big Mando with the biggest jet pack and machine gun thinks to himself, "why am I making climbing up here so difficult with my big jet pack and really big gun"

So on, and so forth, stuff happens to fill out the episode to have them all fly around, not use weapons or explosives to get the foundling and kill the Raptor. Cheering, yes, cheering. Baby birds to fly later. More hammering. And a lot of "full steam ahead", "live long and prosper" or whatever they keep saying.

End art. Awesome as ever.

Ahmed best saves the day as Kelleran Beq in the Coruscant sequence. He deserves it. Hope he turns up again.

Katee saves the day again. Even under the helmet and no facial expressions she is delivering her lines and scenes with meaning.

Carl Weathers directing is good considering the flaccid, dull writing he's dealing with.

Not fussed about episode length, just episode quality. This episode is dumb it down 8 out of 10. I'm sure this season will deliver in the end.

S3eps1 Open with........ Moody start, plus "Hey kids, you can be a Mandalorian too", sweet, Disney merchandising tick box one, achieved.

"Pointless Action Scene" showcasing very talented cgi/special effects team.

"Fan Service" the Boba Fett cosplay fanboys, who have to show how different they are, by throwing in an inordinate amount of diversely equipped warriors in every different colour under the sun that can truly signify their uniqueness.

"Yes, elite warriors" would definitely try to restrain the most hubongous croco-turtle with six or seven ropes after being unable to damage or harm it with multiple laser fire and explosive devices.

Of course, lame story integrity equals any kind of action and effects for the sake of it.

"Oh look" who's flown in to blow stuff up and save the day. 'Meh'

"Oh look" who's popped his head up, oh so cute, every cosplayer go "ahhhh".

"Exposition it" now I know what's going to happen! Even though I feel I knew this because like most, if not all, who are watching this episode, we saw last season, and Boba Fett, and the "ReCap" only 5 minutes ago. Disney production tick box "Treat viewers as simpletons with a memory a goldfish could laugh at", Check.

"Main Mission Acquired." Take a bath somewhere awkward. (Not the back of a VW Beetle.)

"Light Speed" and pointless ethereal Octopuss? Octopi? Octopuses, to bedazzle with high impact visual content when there is no story content. And big ears, ooooh sooooo cute.

Back to (neater) Nevarro. Has anyone ever seen a Star War painter-decorator?

"Oh look" we've thrown in lots of characters and thingys in the background that were from them other Star War films. It's that thingy from the slug man scene. Ooh that's a white one. And so on.

"Familiar character call back", after pushing too many pencils for the CIA I'm too scared to make any jokes or comments. We all love a bit of Carl Weathers. Nuff Said.

"Pirates" Why are they always so angry? They just ARRRRRRRR! Oh and give us a random action (shout-out) sequence, that, oh no spoiler spoiler alert, gives us the reason for the next action (dog-fight) sequence.

Explain why Gina's not about. Boooo. Convenient.

"Shoehorn" lovable droid that, no doubt, has been fan requested back into the show, or, Disney "help your chummy director mate" get back in the show and butter them up.

"Comedy kill", now that's using your head, aaaaah funny. Nearly Laughed.

"It's cute time" Disney tick box "let's chuck in more little aliens" Check. The Doozers are back. Whoops I mean Anzellans.

And big eared green alien baby now gets to interact with them in a cutesy way. Every cosplayer go "ahhhh".

Main Doozer gives us "Side Mission Unlocked". Now we get a reason for all the pointless places and characters we get to see during the rest of this season for much needed "PART" to secure further appearance of S. A. F. S. C. V. B. E. B. B.; "Safe and Favourite Shoehorned Character Voiced by Everyone's Best Buddy" to complete "Main Mission!!!!!".

"Dog-Fight, hell yeah" as spoiler spoilered earlier. More action and effects. Tick.

"Potato!" There better be a few spuds in that asteroid belt.

"Listen to me laddy, I'm n Pirate of the Caribbeans Swaamp-Thin' oo'll be chasin' ye out of thee blue for the rest o' the season ". Random threateny character, ARRRR Check!

"Star Wars Cartoon Canon Callback Hairband Mando". I love you Katee. Hope to see you at the Celebration this year, I think you forgot to renew the restraining order, booyah.

Explain why the ships and sword are gone, for the bods.

"Goodbye, Din Djarin". YEAH RIGHT!

Awesome artwork. Can I buy the last two with Katee in?

I'm not giving up yet. Still a solid show and fun.

....coming up with this ludicrous Picard origin story. Episodes one and two made for a good start to this series, but has swiftly failed to entertain from episode three onwards.

Star Trek and it's fans do not deserve this.

At a guess she had two lines. For accuracies sake I would rewatch the episode to verify, but I can't put myself through the pain of 38 minutes of the most inconsistent Star Trek story and characters ever.

Seven is milling around the entire episode, no script, nothing to say. What was Jeri Ryan thinking during the filming of this episode? (She looks bored).

Is it proof the writers have no idea what they are doing?