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7/10
Not Too Bad
23 March 2019
It was kind of fun. Better than a few of the Friday sequels. The acting was pretty good. The music was spot on. Definitely a 7.
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Silenced (2011)
10/10
Maybe the Best Movie I have Seen - From Any Country
3 October 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Gang In-ho takes a job working at a school for the hearing impaired in Gwangju. The movie opens with him driving to the school (and having an accident) about the same time as a young boy from the school commits suicide by walking in front of a train. From almost the beginning of his time at the school, he notices that something seems out of kilter. The school seems almost dark and unfeeling. The students not particularly friendly and one teacher is just damned mean. The movie focuses on two sisters, one of whom is especially stand-offish and the other, unfriendly and with issues about eating and their brother who seems to be bloodied and bruised worse every time he comes to class.

We eventually learn that the two girls are being abused physically and sexually by the Principal and the Asst Principal with the knowledge of one female teacher, the security guard, a local police officer and at least one staff member (who is abusing the boy both physically and sexually)

The teacher enlists the help of Seo Yu-jin, a human rights activist to help the children (and him) Initially they find little support for their cause. The police are totally disinterested in what Yu-jin tells them. Partially because here in Korea making the establishment look bad is not something people do readily and partially because the police officer is a fairly high ranking figure within the department. Finally, they turn to YTN News. And a reporter does an interview with the children that is seen on TV throughout Korea. The police reluctantly spring into action and arrest the principal, asst principal and the teacher -- no one else. The movie then moves onto the second trial. The children are 'raped' again, this time by members of the establishment.

The Superintendent for Public Instruction and the defense lawyer try to bribe the teacher into ending the case. When he refuses, they pay off the aged and mentally feeble grandmother of the children. The local evangelical community rallies to the defense of the principal. The prosecutor seems to be on the side of justice, but in the end, it appears he left the children hanging out to dry.

The movie is extremely graphic and painful. The rape scenes are not glossed over and the physical abuse of the oldest brother is difficult to watch. But more painful, is the end of the trial where the audience is left frustrated, angry and saddened by the way these three children (and their dead brother) are left with nothing even remotely resembling justice. What makes this hard to take is that, while the movie is based on the events, the events still happened and they were as horrid as the movie describes. And were it not for the book and this movie some of these people would have continued with their lives as if nothing had happened. A definite 10.
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Halloween (2007)
2/10
When trailer park trash result in movie trash
5 September 2009
Warning: Spoilers
This movie had the most useless array of characters possible, with everyone more idiotic than the other. In this retelling, Michael is an animal torturer/murderer turned serial killer.

His family is something out of a pathetically bad perverted comic. Malcolm McDowell completely wastes his talent on the Loomis role. The rest of the characters have as much depth as a shallow puddle and are as interesting as watching someone put a label on a deodorant stick.

What I learned from this movie:

1. Mental hospitals allow homicidal killer use real metal forks when they eat.

2. Mental hospitals do not require their patients to shower.

3. Mental hospitals allow their patients to have filthy rooms.

4. Mental hospitals allow their patients to make hundreds of gruesome masks and hang them in their room.

5. Maximum security mental hospitals have a staff of one at night in a hallway with extremely dangerous patients.

6. These same hospitals have staff members that could barely graduate middle school that work with and taunt dangerous mental patients.

7. When confronted by a murderous psycho, a police officer will only fire their weapon 1 time.

8. In Haddonfield, teenagers often slaughter coyotes, cut them open, hang them set them in front of the grave of a woman nicknamed 'Satan's Mother.' And they steal her headstone. All as a Halloween prank.

The things that hurt this movie the most are

1. Trying to give Michael a reason for the way he is weakens the suspense. It's far scarier when you see it happen with a nice, well adjusted solid middle class family because if it could happen to them, it could happen to anyone.

2. The first Halloweens focus on the stalking by Michael made for a better movie.

3. The hick, trailer trash characters turn the movie from a tight suspenseful movie, into a silly comedic farce.

4. The first movie had a group of interesting characters -- this had none.

5. The scene where he holds her in the house is just dull and it fails in providing an suspense. No one believes he's going to get her, so there's no suspense.

6.In the end when Michael comes back to attack her again, after having been shot carries no real shock value. It's just a lame excuse to keep the movie going for a few more minutes.

7. There is no continual suspense throughout the movie to draw you in and keep your attention. The suspense is like watching a 5 minute video followed by a few commercials followed by another 5 minute cartoon.

This movie went for stupid and it seems to have nailed it. Before you defend this piece of trash by saying, "It's a movie." I agree -- it is. A really crappy movie
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Shuttle (2008)
2/10
If you're only going to see one lame, preposterous movie this year
5 September 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Don't pick this one. ****Spoiler Alert***** The plot of this aggravatingly bad movie is four friends are talked into taking the shuttle from the airport by a very zealous driver. On the shuttle with them is a rather milquetoast looking business type.

Shortly into their trip the driver of the shuttle takes an off-ramp and some lunatic driver tries to run them off the road. The end result is they get a flat tire. The driver gets one of the people on the shuttle to help change the tire and the jack slips and the guys fingers are crushed between the tire and the shuttle. It's at this point that the driver reveals himself to be a kidnapper and he has taken all the people hostage.

Now the movie gets extremely slow and tedious, as the characters do one lame thing after another. One of the men is killed trying to escape -- even that lacks any suspense. Finally it is revealed that the milquetoast business guy is in cahoots with the driver when milquetoast guy kills the other male friend by slitting his throat.

There are a couple of attempts to escape by the women. Milquetoast is beaten over the head with a tire iron -- yet he survives.

The driver is also beaten and somehow survived a head on collision with a fence at high speed while kneeling next to the steering wheel. Somehow he didn't go through the window or even get seriously injured with a collision with windshield. Yet the woman driving the shuttle is knocked unconscious -- yet she had a steering wheel to protect her and he had nothing between him and the windshield.

He is eventually able to subdue the women and get them to an underground garage that is a front for human trafficking. One of the women is killed. The other one stabs the driver in the leg with a good sized piece of broken mirror and shoots/grazes him in the head, yet he is able (in what should be a severely weakened state -- severe blood loss, two head injuries and a large leg gash) to drag her out of the shuttle, drag her to a large crate, throw her in and get it locked, all the while with her fiercely fighting him.

Now some people admire the message of the movie about human trafficking and how it is going on today. This is a serious problem. But, making an extremely boring movie about the topic does not entitle it to a higher rating.
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Joshikyôei hanrangun (2007 Video)
3/10
Pretty much what everyone else says
27 January 2009
Warning: Spoilers
If you love movies with bizarre scripts, zombies, some nudity, a weak lesbian love scene, a girls swim team and a guy who plays a flute while a girl fondles herself and then gets raped by him -- This is the movie for you.

The high school has been infected by a 'popular' virus as opposed to those unpopular viruses nobody likes. The antidote is brought by a medical team-- which is really the evil master looking for his trainee that has escaped his clutches. There is a serum for the students and there is a special vial for the teachers.

Everyone takes the serum, except the two main girls. Then everyone starts to become zombies, except the two girls and the swim team -- the disinfectant in the pool (chlorine???) has made them immune to the zombie-virus.

While hiding from the zombies, the two girls start talking about the swim competition that's tomorrow. I know when I'm being hunted by zombies, I often talk about sporting events that are coming up. Then they have lesbian-sex. I know that when I'm being hunted by zombies I have...wait...I'm a guy, never mind.

The scene in the classroom where the math teacher slices up his non-zombie students with meter sticks, while his zombie students feed upon the non-zombie students is just too weird. The zombie female teacher who speaks some English is also just too weird as she kills with a machete.

The main character is a water warrior master who has escaped her master so that she can live a life like all high school seniors her age. We learn she is a new student at the school about 10 minutes into the movie, which makes the ending even more confusing.

The scene with the rape-master and his flute is laughable. He plays his flute while his 'slave' fondles her genitals...she does moan and squeal well, but that's about it. Then he has sex with her.

If you think this review was disjointed, the movie is 100x more so. It's funny in places and just twisted and bizarre in others. There's enough to laugh at and enough to say "What?" and "Huh?" to make it better than 2 stars
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Gag (2006 Video)
2/10
The Trifecta of Crap
27 October 2007
This movie wasn't bad enough to be funny. It was just incredibly painful to watch. But, it did hit the trifecta: 1) The actors CAN'T act to save their souls. 2) The script is just miserably awful. 3) The directing is just sad. Let's start with the set up for the film, two professional burglars break into a house and finding a guy tied up in a basement. The guy tied-up has obviously been beaten and/or tortured and may be dead. One of the burglars wants to leave thinking the guy tied might be dead, the other one refuses to leave until he has cracked open the safe and gotten the money that may be inside. WTF!!! If the police show, we all know who they'd blame. But, there's moron insisting they stay to get the money first and risk lethal injection. The movie goes downhill from there. The characters become infinitely more lame. The story goes from inane to irritating. And the pathetic script, combined with the inadequacies of the actors and director drag this movie down further. (Yes, it's possible for this movie to get worse). I'm convinced the high marks and lauding this movie is receiving is from people who are closely associated with the making of this film, or they are close friends of the people involved. Because this movie just sucked.
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The Hitcher (2007)
2/10
This Movie was Craptacular (possible spoilers)
26 June 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I have never seen the first movie, so I have nothing to compare it to. But, this movie LAME, The flaws and lame twists in this movie are so absurd that you don't just have to suspend disbelief to appreciate this movie, you have to repeatedly stab your brain with a sharp pointed object not to see this 'film as pure garbage. To begin with, it would be nice to have a couple you could have some sympathy for. These two characters are the types you hope get whacked quickly so the real victims can appear -- no such luck, they are the real victims. The acting just flat out sucks --- except for the Sheriff and the killer. It's one thing for 'dead body number 5' who is on the screen for six seconds to be an awful actor, it's another thing to sit and watch two of the main characters vie for a razzie award. The movie lost me fairly early when the killer turned up in the fundie family car that just happen to be passing the car driven by the main characters who had kicked the killer out of their car the night before -- LAME! I was curious as to how the killer kept finding all of these vehicles to drive around in. The movie starts with his car that breaks down, then he has the 4x4, then the sports car...come on! They're in a desert for Christ's sake, not next to the car rental counter at LAX. Next...The killers overtaking of ALL the police cars and shooting the police helicopter was laughable. Then his escape out of the police van, by killing the guard and then shooting the drivers, the van flipping over and over God knows how many times and the killer is totally unhurt just leaps into 'idiocy.' This super villain serial killer motif takes a director of immense talent, an exceedingly competent script and solid acting to pull off. Sadly this movie has none of that.
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Vacancy (2007)
8/10
A well made, suspenseful thriller that builds nicely and avoids the blood and gore-fest. (possible spoiler)
17 June 2007
When I first started watching the film I was hoping this was the set-up couple for the real victims. The couple was endlessly whiny (wife) and annoying (husband).The rationale for their annoying behavior didn't make me any more sympathetic towards the two of them. As the movie got going, it went through the predictable cliché-ish 'other characters.' Mechanic and Motel Manager. Once they were in the room, something amazing happened -- the characters started doing intelligent things. When there was the strange knockings on the door, the husband did what most normal people would do -- he tried to confront the unknown idiot and the next room and then went and got the manager. When he figured out that the movies were taken in his room, he analyzed them for any clues they might have. I was actually impressed that the characters in the film stayed smart and did reasonable things, rather than do the same idiotic things I see in most films. The last ten minutes are a bit of a downer (IMO). I found the ending contrived and forced. But, at the same time I did find it nice they avoided one annoyingly old cliché of so many of these types of movies. I won't mention it, I'll let you figure it out. I also appreciated the fact that the movie avoided the need to throw blood everywhere, as if that makes the movie more suspenseful, intense and/or scary. I must say it kept me engrossed. I liked it a lot, in spite of its flaws.
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2/10
If you like a movie with a really awful script, awful acting, awful directing, awful set design...
21 April 2007
Well you get the point. A true test of whether a sequel is any good is whether it stands on its own. And I can honestly say that this movie falls flat on its face from the sadly pathetic and predictable beginning until the uninteresting and sickly end. I have never seen the first Black Christmas movie and I am eternally grateful to other members of IMDb for informing me that the original is of high quality. I will purchase the 1974 movie at my first opportunity. The movie is about a guy who murdered his family on Christmas and is sentenced to a mental hospital. He escapes the mental hospital on the anniversary of th night he murdered his family -- Christmas. Sounds a lot like Halloween. In the interim period, a sorority has purchased the house and moved in. Most of the sorority have gone home for the Christmas break, but there are a few girls left behind. The movie leaves no doubt that there is a second menacing killer in the house -- now how this second killer would know that Billy would be able to escape on that evening is kind of left to the imagination -- My guess was sunspots or an alien human-dog mind meld -- ala the pet shop guy on the Simpsons. The women back at the sorority are all extremely attractive women who are as beautiful as they are shallow, unpleasant and totally without any concept of common sense whatsoever. I'll spare you any details of how lame the ending is, except to say, if you make it that far without turning off the DVD, you will not be disappointed -- it's REALLY, REALLY bad. Katie Cassidy cannot act to save her soul in this movie. Her performance is not without its charm -- if you like talentless women screaming on camera. Michelle Trachtenberg, whom I consider to be a fairly good actress is pointless in this movie. She is in it a very brief time and her character adds nothing to the movie. They could have hired some unemployed young woman and given her the part. On the positive side this movie...ummmmmm....well...it's over.
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Poseidon (2006)
2/10
150 million disaster
18 March 2007
This is one of the worst remakes I have ever seen. It's also an extremely bad movie. The script is really weak. The lines were pathetic. The characters just damned awful. I was really hoping that everyone in the group died -- that included that little kid. There just is nothing really likable about this movie. The special effects are good, but I can play video games if I want to see special effects. Aside from really awful and dislikeable characters, there are four other things that ruin this movie (IMO): 1. The original was a great movie. If you're going to remake a great movie, at least make something good. 2. The set up was of the movie was bad. It happened too quickly. I guess they were desperate to show the tidal wave as quickly as possible. 3. The ending was just lame. 4. When you have good actors in a movie, please have a good script for them.
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Severed (2005)
2/10
How bad is this movie?
20 November 2006
I bought this movie in Yongsan (Korea) for about $3 US because I knew it would suck. How did I know? The review for the movie came from IMDb.com. Now, I realize that our opinions on movies are just as good and valid as some idiot who works for a newspaper. But, I guess they couldn't even find one movie critic who liked this piece of trash.

The plot is fairly bland. A bunch of environmentalists are trying to stop a logging company from cutting down trees. The company is also investing in a special project that will make the trees grow back faster.

Unfortunately (and predictably), the formula has a side effect. When it comes in contact with an open wound it turns people into zombies, why it does that is not entirely clear.

The company loses contact with the logging camp, so the CEO sends his son to find out why this has happened. The son gets there and his first contact with one of the zombies is so ridiculous, it's more laughable than anything else.

He is saved by a group of survivors who have made a 'shack' out of some wood in the forest. It's at this point that the element of time becomes very clouded. I was assuming a few days had past before the CEO sent his son to the camp. Yet, shortly after the son comes across the survivors, they have to try and save two people who are chained to trees. Later in the movie they come in contact with another group of loggers who make it seem like it's been a few weeks since the zombie problem began.

The scene where they couldn't get through the gate was just bizarre. The company locked the gate and put up razor wire, yet it seems if you drove the truck up to the gate, you could have climbed on the hood and jumped over the gate.

There are many more things about this movie that left me confused. It's such a mess.
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The Grudge (2004)
4/10
I've seen both Ju-on and Grudge
16 June 2006
Ju-on is wayyyy better. Ju-on is much more disciplined (as disciplined as it can be with the format of the story). Ju-on avoids much of the cheap shock tactics that are used in Grudge (especially the end). The use of light and shadow are also better in Ju-on. The scene with the Raimi and the dead woman who lost her jaw was just silly and served no purpose in the story except to go for the gross out effect. I was agitated that they cut out the detective and his daughter from the original movie. I'm surprised I disliked the Grudge so much. I mean, they had the same director for both movies. But for a variety of reasons, some I mentioned above, others I left out, the movie just didn't work. Grudge is just lame.
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Pray TV (1980)
9/10
A Little Gem, That Was Before It's Time.
13 February 2004
It's too bad this movie came out in 1980, instead of about 1986, when all the television evangelism scandals hit, because this movie is a winner on so many levels. It is cheap, it is silly, but it has so many one-liners and on the mark spoofs it's great. In addition to Dabney Coleman, playing Marvin Fleece, you have other actors who went on to become successful, Paul Ruebens, Andy Haig (Hill Street Blues), etc. My favorite line is still, "To get into heaven you must do the hardest thing in the world. Give everything you have to God." Which is followed by a chorus singing about someone who was hit by a bus after church because he didn't give them money. It's got many more memorable moments. Don't miss it.
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10/10
Quite Possibly the Greatest Movie EVER Made.
26 December 2003
This movie is so great it's hard to believe anyone didn't like it. But, then there are people who think Jerry Springer is quality television. The movie was long and it probably should have ended when Frodo woke up, but no matter. The movie had quality acting, a great and compelling storyline, awesome special effects and some clever directing. When compared to other epics and trilogies -- This one is the very best.
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10/10
A Great Epic
7 December 2003
Before watching this series, I had read the epic novel "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" and I was well aware of the history surrounding the period after the death of the First Emperor. Usually the movie does not do justice to the novel, but this series does it justice and more. The only exception is the actor chosen to play Lu Bu. An amazing movie. And an amazing period in Chinese history.
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Lake Placid (1999)
4/10
Only one good thing about this movie.
7 December 2003
There is only one good thing about this movie and that's the character played by Betty White. The story is fairly typical -- Giant Animal running amok killing people. No one of course knows this until a group of unsuspecting teens, or young adults stumble upon it. Seen this scenario hundreds of times and this movie misses the mark too. Except for Ms. White.
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9/10
People This Movie is for Little Kids
6 December 2003
I took my kids to see Pokemon with their friends and they all loved it. Every child in the theater seemed to enjoy the movie, as did some of the adults. I think this movie is much more appropriate for children than a lot of the schlock that is put out for kids. This movie is for children. And it worked well on that level.
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10/10
The Funniest Movie Ever Made
13 November 2003
This is easily the funniest movie ever made. Every time I see this movie I laugh. The humor is witty and off-the-wall. Mel Brooks makes fun of every stereotype. His Jewish-Indian was great. Cleavon Little was masterful, his "Don't move or the Nigger gets it." while pointing his gun to his own head was hysterical. I think what makes this movie a masterpiece is that every character is essential to make this movie work. People who are offended by this movie TOTALLY missed the boat. I'm bi and I think the gay jokes are funny. I have friends who are black and Latino and they think this movie rocks. As to the guy in "Europe" who thinks they should have separate reviews for europeans -- please do. Nobody gives a damn what you think anyway.
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