Change Your Image
ptb1965
Reviews
Star Runners (2009)
Bad Sci-Fi, Very Bad Sci-Fi
There was absolutely nothing original about this movie. At some point about halfway in, after a dialogue exchange that was so typical (it's on page 33 of your "Manual for Writing Sci-Fi" that I turned to my wife and said, "OK, this is what's going to happen from here on out..." and I was exactly right. Of course the cargo is a beautiful woman. Of course the military bigwig is the bad guy. Of course our rogue "heroes" feel that the spaceship's officer is going to "a problem" after all, he's the only one with leadership experience. But our heroes who are, technically, criminals feel the know best. They complain about running low on ammo, but still have plenty to kill all the bugs they need. Of course there is a turncoat in their midst. Of course, our hero (who was caught so easily in the first five minutes of the movie) can now just as easily take out bad guy at the end. And on and on. The acting is bad, the effects were terrible, the story was atrocious. I agree with the user who pointed out this may have worked as a 30 minute TV episode. Two hours was ridiculous. It seemed like something an 8 year old would submit in a writing contest after watching Star Wars and A Bug's Life back-to-back. Except that it was only worth seventh place.
The Vanishing (1993)
Good movie ruined by stupid ending
I watched this movie not knowing it was a remake of Spoorloos (1988). It wasn't until reading about the two movies on IMDb that I realized there was a difference in the endings. Saying that, here's my viewing experience: The movie started off well. I got involved with the characters, though I thought Diane (Sandra Bullock) was a whiny bitch and I probably would have done the same thing Jeff (Kiefer Sutherland) does in the beginning when the car stalls in tunnel. Anyway, they do come across as a believable couple. I really think Jeff Daniels did an excellent job as Barney and the haircut, clothing, and mannerisms were perfect for this role. Nancy Travis was serviceable as Rita.
By now, everybody knows the story, so I won't belabor that point. But to me the high point was the confrontation between Jeff and Rita once Rita discovers Jeff is still obsessed with finding Diane. Great scene with great acting, and a totally believable revelation from Jeff that his obsession isn't about still being in love with Diane, it's about not knowing what happened to her.
**** BIG SPOILER ALERT **** The ending to me was very predictable, very typical, and very weak. Again, I had not (and still have not) seen the original. But I'm sitting there watching this and I'm going, "OK, Rita is gonna save the day and everything will be fine." Because that's what happens in these types of movies. And that's exactly what happens and it's terrible, because it's unbelievable. If Rita is this damn smart why is she just a waitress at a coffee shop? Moving on, my thoughts were that this movie would carry much more impact if it had ended with Jeff awakening in the coffin knowing he was buried alive and a slow fade away shot of Barney Cousins eating a solitary meal at his cabin, with Rita having no idea what happened (because she had left Jeff earlier that day "forever").
Course, I then read on IMDb that's how the original ended (more or less). Now I'm off to find a copy of the original and compare it to this. Ciao.
Chick Street Fighter (2003)
This is not good
I rented the DVD thinking it would provide some mindless entertainment. Mindless only begins to describe this movie. The acting is bad, the fight choreography is horrible, the directing is non-existent and the story is absolutely inane. Maxine loses her job and then 2 minutes later decides to get into a street fight for cash. Yeah, sure, that's plausible. It goes downhill from there.
Anyway, I didn't rent the movie for the story, I was interested in the fight sequences. It appears the actors all spent less than one day at a martial arts studio preparing for the role and didn't remember a darn thing. The motions were so slow, deliberate and forced that the fights were probably the most unexciting part of the movie. A third-rate pro wresting show provides better choreography than this drivel. Finally I had enough and watched the last 1/3 of the movie on fast forward. Didn't miss a thing.
Near Dark (1987)
Standard Vampire Flick
I saw this listed on BRAVO TV's as one the 100 scariest moments in movies and thought I'd give it a gander. To be honest I kept waiting for the scary part. I guess the barroom scene qualified. I felt it was more suspenseful than scary, but maybe that's just me. After all, we know they're going to kill the patrons.
I did like this movie, though I didn't think it was anything special. The issue of a reluctant vampire doesn't seem all that original to me. The effects were amazing, especially the sunlight/burning skin one.
However, I did have some criticisms. The character of Homer as sort of a reverse Peter Pan (a grown man in a child's body) was simply annoying and I kept hoping for a chainsaw to cut his head off. I don't know how the rest of clan put up with him. Also, if Jesse and company has been doing this for 120+ years, why hasn't somebody caught on by now? That's a lot of dead bodies and burning buildings/vehicles. Nobody else has ever stop them but Caleb takes care of it in one night.
The scenery is wrong. The movie takes place in Texas, Oklahoma, and Kansas. I've lived there. Where in the world did all the mountains come from? They could of changed the story to Arizona and New Mexico and it would have fit perfectly.
Finally I had a complaint with the transfusions curing a person of vampirism. To become a vampire, a vampire bites you and drinks your blood. Yet, to stay a vampire, you must continue to consume blood; from vampires (as Caleb does with Mae) or non-vampires. However, if you get a transfusion of blood from a non-vampire, your cured. How is that different from drinking the blood of a non-vampire? Does the digestive process affect it or something?