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jessehammertime
Reviews
WNUF Halloween Special (2013)
Wasted Opportunity!!! Such Potential!!
This could've and should've been terrific. The filmmakers totally nail the look and feel of cheap, local 80's TV and waste it on a poorly acted and terribly crafted found-footage horror story that doesn't work in any way, start to finish.
There are moments when I truly thought I was watching an old VHS tape which makes it all the more sad that nothing besides the commercials are very well thought out. The story is truly lame as are the actors. Some so over the top you wouldn't be wrong thinking you'd stumbled into a high school play. That said, if these guys were given another venue, Adult Swim comes to mind, and some decent performers, this stuff could be damn entertaining.
Drop the Poughkeepsie Tapes angle and you've got the second coming of SCTV here.
Space Station 76 (2014)
Brilliant & Destined For Cult Greatness!
I cannot understand for the life of me why this movie is below 5 stars.
It. Is. BRILLIANT! I checked it out under the false impression that it was "Anchorman in space" which sounded fun. It's actually more like The Ice Storm in space and an amazingly original piece of work.
Every detail is perfect. From the retro-future set design and art direction to the soundtrack to the acting to the writing, it's all top-notch. Sharply funny and deeply touching with so many memorable moments and devices (the scenes with the robot psychiatrist are pure genius) you'll lose track.
Patrick Wilson steals the show (and makes smoking a cigarette look absolutely heavenly) but is by no means the only great performance. Marisa Coughlan and Kylie Rogers as the sweetly troubled Sunshine play a broken mother and daughter to perfection. Hell, even Jerry O'Connell brings some seriously great stuff to this.
Directed with amazing visual panache by Jack Plotnick, it never feels cheap or over the top but subtle, cool and often gorgeous. The pace is slow but never drags for a second and shots hold long enough to make the intended impression.
This movie is destined for a huge cult following once people discover what it is (a smart, emotional think piece) instead of what it isn't (Anchorman in space). Do yourself a favor and come aboard.
Godzilla (2014)
Three Dimensional Monsters. One Dimensional Humans
First off, the ten star reviews are completely out of hand and I would take any of them with a grain of salt. Godzilla a perfect movie? Stop. Just stop.
For all the attention and detail paid to the monsters in this film, (oh, and Godzilla is big, bad and beautiful), the focus on making the humans believable is so dull and blurry it has the effect of making you feel drugged. Unpleasantly, hospitalized drugged. Even the strongest performance in the film, courtesy of Bryan Cranston, of course, is pretty much one emotion, angrily maudlin. And once the semi-relatable anchor of this performance is pulled up, way too early, this ship sinks faster than a tugboat in a MUTO's wake. Our lead is boring and unremarkable and when he puts on a military uniform he blends into the background, indistinguishable from the other soldiers who barely speak. And Ken Watanabe's scientist stumbles, mumbles and stares into space offering up barely there advice that isn't heeded by anyone and who can blame them? He seems drunk.
Director Edwards may have wanted to take his eyes off the storyboards and CGI rendering Macs for just a second to go over the actual script a little more. Clunky dialogue, leaps in logic and plot holes you could pilot an Akula through bring new meaning to incoherent. There are so many head-scratchers in this my scalp was raw. My favorite, being a resident of the Bay Area, is when it's pouring apocalyptic rain in San Francisco, Oakland is somehow bright and sunny. Now, I know we have some micro-climates here but, really? The 5 stars come from the monsters themselves. While the MUTOs are sort of unimaginative, a cross between the Cloverfield monster and the bugs from Starship Troopers, they are damn believable and have weight and presence on screen. Godzilla is incredible and a sight to behold when the cameras aren't constantly cutting away.
This was a real wasted opportunity and I am disheartened to learn that Edwards is helming one of the Star Wars films as I was hoping that series was going to bring back the attention to characters. Sadly, it seems not.
Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)
The Film Equivalent of a Stun Grenade.
Wow. Just, wow.
This movie genuinely had me giggling with glee at the audacious and striking visuals. Thumping, droning synth music and spare-as-air, every-sound-is-a-byte soundtrack. The shots, the colors, the creepy, creepy characters straight from the Lynch/Cronenberg school of acting all make the first hour and a half of this movie an absolute, instant cult classic marvel.
And then it keeps going. And going. And you want it to stop. Like drunken sex continuing long after you've had your fill and now you're just feeling queasy. There is a point where you know exactly where it should've ended and had it, this would be a full-on, 10 star masterpiece.
But alas, it did not.
But do yourself a favor and see it anyway. You will not be disappointed. Until the end, that is.