galahad58's Reviews

Prom Night (I) (2008)

1/10

20 August 2008

This movie is a good example of the extreme lack of good writers and directors in Hollywood. The fact that people were paid to make this piece of junk shows that there is a lack of original ideas and talent in the entertainment business. The idea that audiences paid to see this movie (and like an idiot I rented the film) is discouraging also.

Obsessed teacher (3 years prior) kills teenager's family because he wants her. For no reason he kills the mother, father and brother. From the first five minutes you see the bad acting and direction. Years later, obsessed teacher breaks out of prison. HMM--usual bad writing--no one in the town he terrorized knows until the last minute. Obsessed teacher somehow becomes like a Navy SEAL and can sneak around, sniff out people and with a knife is super killer. Sure!!! Now obsessed teacher kills hotel maid for no reason, knifes bellhop for the fun of it, and starts to hunt down the teenager's friends. Now there is the perfect way to get the girl to love you. Obsessed teacher sneaks out of hotel---again it is stupid, ever cop would know his face--but he walks right by them. Now he kills two cops outside teenager's house and somehow sneaks into her bedroom and kills her boyfriend.

There is not one single positive thing about this piece of garbage. If any other profession put out work of this low quality, they would be fired. Yet these idiots are making hundreds of thousands of dollars for writing and directing this trash.

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In the Valley of Elah (2007)

1/10

Disrespects the People who keep you free

15 June 2008

Movies like In the Valley of Elah are very disrespectful to the men and women who serve this great country. Men and women who stand on a wall, sit in a foxhole, face danger day in and day out for less than minimum wage. Men and women who have made this country free and have allowed movie makers the freedom of speech to make films without the worry of mass censorship. This movie portrays all the young military men as off balanced mentally disturbed people who have no conscious or soul. Movie makers do not have to agree with the decisions made my the countries administration--but insulting the military is just plan low, disgraceful and the work of a coward who would never serve his/her country.

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Funny Games (2007)

3/10

Not Funny At All

12 June 2008

Warning: Spoilers

Today's youth is a reflection of Hollywood's desire to torture, disrespect and maim anything that may be innocent or decent. This movie is a prime example of the trash that Hollywood has produced over the last five years. The story is poorly written and geared to show acts of torture and heartless crimes. The acting is just trash--scream, plead, scream, beg--nothing new in today's film making. This DVD is only worth sitting a soda upon it while watching another DVD. What makes it go beyond bad, to pitiful, is that after 90 minutes of sitting through the torture, pleading, trash talk, and sickening acting--the heroine finally gets a break and shoots one of the culprits with a shotgun. BUT WAIT---the second culprit grabs the TV remote control and turns back time---WHAT!!!! What kind of stupidity is this? Where did this come from? Nothing in the story led to this being able to be a possibility--and how could it be so? Wouldn't the family have just used the remote control and do away with the entire weekend? Better yet, I should have used the remote control 60 minutes earlier and turned on something worth watching.

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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

4/10

Just Bad

23 May 2008

As an Indiana Jones fan, I was looking forward to the release of this movie. I figured nothing would be disappointing because the character was so much fun and worth watching. I was wrong. This movie is comes off like a parody of Indiana Jones. The script is absolutely awful. There is none of the humor or playfulness of the previous movies. The humor was what made Indy so real and likable. There were no relationships to talk about. In the past, Indy's relationship with Marcus Broady helped to define his character. That relationship showed his loyalty to his friends and the things that made him a person you could identify. The relationship between Indy and his father made the third movie a wonderful treat and it made up for the dark, miserable Temple of Doom. This movie lacks all the friendship, humor, and relationship that defined the Indiana Jones trilogy. The script lost the heart and soul of Indiana Jones and created a cardboard cut-out to make money. The adventure was also weak and uninspired. The Lost Ark was tremendous--the Temple of Doom was palatable--the Holy Grail was marvelous--El Dorado was lame (especially since it has been the subject of movie after movie after movie for decades). The action was way TOOO comic book oriented. Having Shia LaBeouf swinging from vines with a pack of monkeys went beyond dumb. The part where LaBeouf and the monkeys attacked the Russians went to Dumber. The entire sequence where over ten minutes were spent on ANOOOOTTTTHHHEEEERRRR long car/jeep/truck scene was overdone and ridiculous. Cate Blanchett was disgraceful as Irina Spalgo. Her performance was embarrassing compared to her previous works. What a waste of a good actress. I hope the Indiana Jones franchise hangs the fedora on a hanger and never makes another embarrassing movie like this again. Think Star Wars Episode I--same circle--destroy a good franchise.

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The Golden Compass (2007)

5/10

Average

6 May 2008

This movie boasts a lot of very beautiful special effects. The ice bear is a marvel to watch and the daemons are a wonderful addition to the story. The script is not very strong and needs the effects to push it along. It is not a very inspired movie and has a great deal of low points. Sam Elliot is the best part of the movie. He brings life to an average movie and his scenes are the best part of the film. Who keeps giving Nicole Kidman kudos for acting? She is by far one of the most overrated actresses of our time. Her performance is horribly bad and terribly bland. A cardboard cutout would have had more life and talent in her role. This movie gets a 5 because of Kidman's poor performance.

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Rambo (2008)

8/10

Action and Adventure to the Max

1 February 2008

Rambo, John J.

A name synonymous with action and adventure. Military violence turned up a decibel over normal with a hero larger than life. That is John Rambo.

After closing the book on Rocky, with Rocky Balboa, Stallone decides to come full circle and end the story of John Rambo. He does it in style. While Rambo is not the Academy movie that Rocky was, it is still a good Rambo film. The action is well choreographed and the story well done. Is is Shakespeare? No, it is Rambo. Expect the limb explosions, the gutting of the enemy, blood and gore--this is an action film that deals with the unspeakable horrors that people allow to happen all across the world. It is Rambo saving the day--going against a tyrant who butchers people--and helping the helpless. Rambo is the super blockbuster, popcorn crunching, mindless fun movie we used to love for a Saturday matinée.

OHH RAAHHH!!! Loved it. It is not as good as First Blood or Rambo: First Blood Part II--but it is a good action film.

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Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979–1981)

5/10

Two Seasons---Two Different Types of Shows

6 January 2008

Season one was an interesting and fun season of science fiction. Season one had all the makings of a series waiting to grow into a bigger phenomenon. Who made the bad choice to take Buck off of the Earth and put him onto a spaceship? Who made the horrible decision to stop Mel Blanc from doing Twiki's voice and making Twiki sound like a dork? Who made the bad choice to give us Hawk---a bad, bad, bad character? Season two was an absolute mess. Season two destroyed what could have become another growing series of sci-fi tales. Season one would get a 7 rating--season two would get a 3 rating--so a 5 average is what I am giving this show.

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Halloween (2007)

1/10

Rob Zombie is America's Worse Movie Maker

22 December 2007

Leave it to Rob Zombie to completely destroy an American classic. Zombie's take on Halloween is a complete waste of time and energy. Every character is poorly portrayed, the script is horribly written and the directing is more frightening than the movie itself. The constant cussing and tossing of the F-bomb gets old--and this is a staple of Rob Zombie movies. The man knows nothing about making a well intelligent script that defines characters and their behaviors. The acting is rock bottom, with his pin-up wife once more playing another trashy woman. There is absolutely nothing worth while in this version of Halloween. I just want to know what Hollywood idiots keep tossing money at Rob Zombie to make another piece of garbage. This DVD should be used as a beverage coaster and not put into your DVD player.

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Knocked Up (2007)

5/10

Knock It Off

27 September 2007

NetFlix sent me "Knocked Up" today. I sat down expecting a nice comedy movie, but was highly disappointed.

Every other word is the F-bomb. I have not heard that much foul cussing and language in a movie in a long time. It took any semblance of humor and tossed it right out the window. How can you laugh when every word is the F-word, the C-word, or the MF explicit.

A total disappointment and a waste of time. I am sure someone will find this juvenile, vile thing funny---but there was nothing to laugh at. It was rude, crude (and not in a funny way), nasty (the characters treated each other badly), and just foul over and over.

I would never recommend this to anyone.

This is sad that this is what America finds funny in movies.

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Bug (2006)

1/10

Avoid

26 September 2007

This is a typical example of the garbage coming out of Hollywood nowadays. This movie is plagued with a bad story, horrible directing, script faults and horrendous acting. There is not one positive thing to say about this film. This movies fails as a thriller, it fails as a love story, it fails as a story about two warped individuals, it fails on so many levels that it should never have been a green-lit project. Ashley Judd is awful and this is a role that could destroy what was once a promising career. This role choice was the worse thing that Judd could have decided upon. Bug ranks down there as one of the worse movies I have ever seen. The best thing you could do with this DVD is use it for a soft drink coaster when you have guests.

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Perfect Stranger (2007)

2/10

Halle Berry--Most Overrated Actress Ever

15 September 2007

Another bomb by Halle Berry. Everything about this movie is worthless. The story is pitiful and the direction is sluggish and terrible at best. Bruce Willis brings a nice performance that is wasted in a movie that should have never been made. Halle Berry is one of the weakest actresses to ever hit the screen. This is another example of her lack of acting ability. What she needs to do is find a fantastic director that can work with her limited talent and bring a decent performance out of her. The movies she chooses are some of the worse films to hit the theaters. I would suggest that you avoid this movie at all costs. It is not even worth a rental price.

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Stardust (2007)

8/10

Could Have Been A 10

15 August 2007

People are comparing Stardust to The Princess Bride because of it's fairy tale content and humor. Stardust is a nice enjoyable film, but it does not match the wonder and beauty of The Princess Bride. Robert DeNiro is brilliant as Captain Shakespeare. Shakespeare is a different type of role for DeNiro and he embraces the role to create a wonderful character you care about. You can see that DeNiro enjoyed his role within every shot of screen. Claire Danes is magnificent as Yvaine. Danes creates the inner beauty the character needs to make the story work and you root for her the entire film. Michelle Pfeiffer is wickedly delightful as Lamia. Pfeiffer not only plays the wicked witch, but brings some humor and life to the character to make her more interesting. Where the film is lacking is in the lead role. Charlie Cox is very weak as Tristran. He does not have the charisma that Carey Elwes had in The Princess Bride and he does not bring life to his character. Cox has more of a cardboard type performance that almost brings the film down to a B-movie standard. Overall, this is a wonderful film. The creators should have gotten a better lead to make it a better movie, but it is still highly enjoyable and worth watching. Not The Princess Bride, but close enough.

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The Simpsons Movie (2007)

10/10

The Funniest Movie of the Summer

14 August 2007

After 18 seasons on television, the Simpsons could have been an average product and it still would have drawn a big audience from it's loyal fans. The makers put a lot of heart and effort into the feature film to add new life, new jokes and a lot of laughter. The movie was refreshing and fun from the beginning shot to the end. Homer was hilarious at every turn and this cartoon character was more impressive than any feature film actor in this summer season of movies. Each family member had their moments and provided wonderful lines, humor and events that made The Simpson Movie a precious gem in a summer of bad movies. I would highly recommend this movie.

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Rush Hour 3 (2007)

5/10

Almost An Exact Retelling of the First Two Films

14 August 2007

Rush Hour 3 is basically a retelling of the last two Rush Hour movies. The dialogue was almost exactly the same, the stunts were the same as the first two films, the jokes did not change, and the acting was just as mediocre as the prior films. There was nothing new about this movie and it made the entire experience boring. Wait for this film to hit video so you will not be disappointed. If you watch Rush Hour 1 or 2 again then you have seen Rush Hour 3. Chris Tucker was not funny at all and the repeated "My brother from another mother" was funny in movie 1, but in movie 3 it is contrived and old news. No new material present at all.

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Comedy Central Roasts: Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner (2006)

Season 1, Episode 4

4/10

Boldly Going Where No Man Should Have Gone

28 April 2007

There were some funny parts of this DVD, but the crudeness went a bit overboard. I thought it was a roast of Shatner, yet the roasters attacked each other and few comments were made about Shatner. Andy Dick was pitiful and made your skin crawl, Farrah looked to be high and brainless, and Artie Lange was a slob. A couple of the roasters were funny, but the constant oral sex jokes about George Takei went on for too long. This is something those who like insults would enjoy, but it is not something that someone used to the TRUE roasts, of the past, would like to sit down and watch. William Shatner's part was the funniest part of the entire DVD and you have to sit through a lot of garbage to get to Shatner's part.

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Wild Hogs (2007)

9/10

Hog Wild Laughter

18 March 2007

Critics have been panning Wild Hogs in their writings. I have read a lot of negative response from the same goof-balls that have promoted some very bad movies. Sometimes I wonder if they are on certain payrolls to give a certain vote towards a movie. With that said---Wild Hogs is absolutely wonderful. In today's day of poor comedies (see anything starring Will Farrell for example) that do not produce a laugh or a smirk---Wild Hogs is a breath of fresh air. I have lately been happy if a movie has at least one good laugh to feel like my admission fee was worth spending. And in today's movie world, most movies are one joke wonders. Wild Hogs is a throw back to the days of My Cousin Vinny, Airplane, and Young Frankenstein. This movie was filled with laughs and good gags. The movie starts off slow and is reminiscent of a couple of failed Tim Allen projects (Shaggy Dog and Zoom), but after about 15 minutes it shifts gear and becomes a wonderful comedy well worth spending the admission fee. If you want to have a good laugh and enjoy yourself---see Wild Hogs.

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300 (2006)

8/10

Decent Telling -- but inaccurate

17 March 2007

I hope that this movie inspires people to read about the history of the Spartans and the Greek cities that fought bravely against the Persians. I offer this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/300_Spartans for those interested to give a brief background and history about the battle. For those not interested in reading, I would suggest renting/buying the 1962 movie "300 Spartans" to get a better feel for the historical part of this tale. First, this is a super bastardization of the tale. There is very little historical value whatsoever in this movie or in the graphic novel. If you are looking for historic accounts, do not go to this film. This is pure entertainment--plain and simple. The visualizations are wonderful, the movie is nicely paced and it is highly entertaining. Acting is not at a premium though. Butler just constantly screams into the camera, rather than talking, and he plays his character more like a WWF wrestler than a Greek hero. Most of the dialog came straight out of the historical (see link) quotes or from the 1962 movie. I enjoyed this movie and I could accept 90% of the Hollywood/graphic novel liberties that took the place of historic accuracy. The one thing that I found highly amusing was that the Greeks were not armored clad (as they would have been). As I stated earlier, WWF was more the feel of the movie--muscled men wearing only helmets, but no body armor. Only an idiot soldier would wear just his helmet and history shows that the Spartans did wear beautifully crafted leather armor. I give this movie an 8 for it's entertainment value and it's nicely shot battle scenes. Had there been a little more historical accuracy, and a little better acting, this could have been a 10.

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Casino Royale (2006)

4/10

Boring James Boring

15 March 2007

After multiple generations of James Bond, it is time to put this tired, old, terrible franchise to rest. There was hope that a new Bond would inject life into a franchise that had long worn out it's welcome. Starting with the same boring old animated opening, it looked like more of the same regurgitated garbage from the past. This James Bond movie was poorly designed. There was limited story to try and force more action and killing into the movie. It felt more like a bad video game than a feature film. The story was terrible, the directing was juvenile and the (suprise)ending was too damn predictable. Put a tombstone of James Bond and move on----PLEASE.

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Rocky Balboa (2006)

10/10

An Oscar quality movie

25 December 2006

Warning: Spoilers

It has been a long time since I had written one of my reviews, but I felt like I had to write something about Rocky. I have not seen a movie of Rocky's quality since Million Dollar Baby. Rocky is one of the finest movies made in the last couple of years. Stallone returned to the writing style from his first Rocky script. He creates wonderful characters, wonderful conversation and situations, and an extremely heartfelt movie. No movie moved me, emotionally, as much as the Rocky movie moved me this weekend. Though I identified with many of the aspects the character was experiencing, I felt that it was a very emotional and beautifully crafted film. Rocky is dealing with the loss of his wife Adrianne. Those who have followed the series know how much Adrianne meant to Rocky and the movie shows how hard Rocky finds life without his beloved wife. The movie goes through the pains of loss and loneliness that many of us have felt throughout the years. The movie also deals with an ex-athlete who really is living on memories. Memories of his wife and memories of his past endeavors. As a person who played many many sports, I love to remember those things and always feel the desire to prove that I can still do some of those things today. The boxing is a back-drop though to the emotional situations and the human aspect of the Rocky character. Stallone shows the loneliness of Rocky and how he needs a friend to rely on. How Rocky has an estranged son who barely talks to him, how he deals with an angry and miserable Paulie and how he spends his evenings telling old boxing stories to the customers of his restaurant. The story shows how Rocky meets "Little Marie" from Rocky I again and how he needs her friendship and needs to reestablish the social aspect of his life. Rocky is about people. Rocky is extremely well written and deserves an Oscar nomination for screenplay. I felt that it was well directed. I also felt that Stallone was in his best form, as an actor, since Rocky I and also deserves an Oscar nomination.

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X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

9/10

X-Cellent

27 May 2006

Superhero/comic book character movies. Those two words used to mean a light, action adventure with some off-the-wall special effects. Movies like Batman, Daredevil, Electra, and The Hulk were poor excuses for movies and were made to just show the character in action. A new form of comic book hero exploded onto the screen when the first Blade was made. The script was more mature than people were accustomed to and it set the stage for more depth in screen writing for comic book adaption. Spiderman was the first to break the mold with a superhero and Batman Begins continued the development of a superhero movie to an intelligent, thoughtful adventure with dialog and characters you could care about. In the past, only Richard Donner's Superman made an attempt to rise above the normal comic book/superhero formula. The third X-Men movie continues the maturation of superhero films. The script is well written, the direction is very good and there is actually acting on the screen. None of that paper macho Electra and Daredevil acting we have seen in the last couple of movies. Because this is the third X-Men movie, audiences have bonded with some of the characters. Comic book fans will be more deeply involved with these characters and what happens will effect comic fans more than the movie fans. Main characters die. Yes, I know that does not happen in a superhero film---but main characters die in this movie. Not just one. I do not want to give much away---so I will only say that this is a good movie and a great start to the summer movie season. This is a definite film to watch on the big screen. One final note---there is an important scene after the credits. I do not like when movies do that since 90% (estimated) of the people never see those clips.

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The Da Vinci Code (2006)

8/10

Well Worth It

19 May 2006

The Da Vinci Code is an outstanding film. Ron Howard does an excellent job of direction. The timing is nicely paced, the acting is outstanding, the scenes are beautifully shot and the film feels right.

Ian McKellen steals the movie. McKellen is superb and his performance is definitely worth an Oscar bid. I enjoyed every single moment that McKellen was on the screen. This is McKellen's best work since he played Gandolf and he took full advantage of every second that he was on film.

While the church, and the ignorant religious zealots, are condemning this movie; there is nothing in this film that exhibits an anti-church or an anti-Christian movement. The film does show the ignorance of some members of the church in their quest to gain more power over people. The movie shows the evils that religious intolerance can cause when one priest says that Christ sacrificed himself for the betterment of mankind and so shall his descendants. The priests talks about this to assure himself that it is right, and good, to kill innocents in the name of the church. While this is going on, that same priests talks about how the Vatican would punish him, and his cohorts, if they found out what they were doing. Therefore, the movie shows that it is not the entire church, but a small part, doing the evil things. As intelligent people, we see that this is true in all religions. This is exhibited in the news on a regular basis. There is nothing in this movie that would make a person question their faith--but there is enough that may make someone take an interest in Christian history. Is that a bad thing? I do not think so.

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Poseidon (2006)

7/10

Nice Retelling

12 May 2006

I fully enjoy the original Poseiden Adventure. I am a big fan of Wolfgang Peterson films (Das Boot, The Perfect Storm, and Air Force One). I also believe that Kurt Russell is one of the most entertaining actors of our generation. Because of the aforementioned reasons, I was fully excited to see "Poseiden".

While Poseiden is not as good as Perfect Storm, or Das Boot, it is a highly entertaining movie. While the old disaster movies spent over a third of the movie with small dialog to introduce you to the characters; Poseiden just kicks the movie into full blown adventure. A little dialog, and interaction, would have made you care more about the characters--but then the critics would have complained that the movie was too long. I am sure that Wolfgang learned that too much characterization can hurt a film (Troy) and decided to go right for the throat with Poseiden.

The acting is better than previous commentary will lead you to believe. Remember that this is a disaster movie and not a Shakespeare production. Russell, Lucas and Rossum give quality performances (for an action film) that are believable and give you people to care about during their ordeals.

I gave Poseiden a 7 only because of the shortened movie. I would like to see what had been edited from this film to discover if the edited material fleshed out the characters a bit more.

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Silent Hill (2006)

7/10

Interesting Version

21 April 2006

As a big fan, of the Silent Hill Playstation games, I was eagerly awaiting the release of the Silent Hill movie. I was enthusiastic about the release of this movie, but was a bit skeptical since the last great horror PS game (Resident Evil) spawned two horrible made films. My hopes were that someone embraced the Silent Hill experience and would not over bastardize the story and destroy it as Resident Evil had been destroyed. While the movie is highly influenced by the game, it does not completely hold to the storyline behind the Silent Hill games. While some fans may not enjoy this aspect, it had to experience some changes in the plot to make a feature film out of the Silent Hill story. The game was mostly an action/horror that took you to different places to fight different creatures. The plot, of the game, was a simplistic plot to advance you onward in your adventures. The screenwriters embellished the plot line and added some elements to make more of a feature film story. Overall, the film was a nice suspense/horror story. I would have liked to experience more of the evil dimension and had seen more of the creatures from the game introduced into the story. The overdoing of the religious zealots I understand were key to the story, but in a world were religious zealots have caused most of the horrors and trouble of a civilized world, I could have used a touch less of the zealot movements. For a very interesting and suspenseful movie, the ending was a bit weak and anti-climatic. I would still recommend Silent Hill and rate it a 7.

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The Fog (2005)

2/10

Foggy concepts

25 January 2006

Remakes--love them or hate them. The remake of the Fog falls completely in the hate category. The original The Fog was a grade B low budget movie. The original was the kind of cheesy movie you find today in the direct-to-DVD bins. The story was that a ship full of lepers wanted to colonize an island in Oregan. The residents, of the island, cheat them out of their money and cause the deaths of the lepers. 100 years later the lepers spirits return and extract vengeance upon the ancestors of the settlers. This story had more holes than swiss cheese. What purpose would vengeance on the ancestors of their enemies serve? Their enemies still benefited from the murders and the ancestors really did do nothing wrong. The sins of the father should never be extracted upon the son. It was a bad story. The remake had all the same aspects with a slight twist at the end. The twist was about as interesting as the rest of the film though--none. The newer version not only stays with the original concepts, but the grade B acting (from the original) seems like Shakespeare compared to the newer version. The only decent part of the remake is the special effects; which are few and far between. This is a rental only--but even a $2.00 rental seems like a rip off after watching The Fog.

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The New World (2005)

1/10

Malick or no-Malick?

22 January 2006

Are you the type of person who would be interested in a Terrance Malick film? That is the foremost question you should ask yourself before going to the theater and spending box office prices. Do NOT think about the fact that Colin Farrell or Christian Bale are in this film before you spend your hard earned money. I would suggest you rent one of Malick's previous films. If you can sit through one of his movies, then you may have a taste for what he puts upon the screen. If you cannot sit through his films, then you have saved yourself a lot of money. Malick is for those who want to sit at a art exhibit and stare at a red dot like the dot was an original piece of art. Malick's work is for those who patrol art exhibitions by artists who make things out of garbage so they can "fit in" with high society. Malick is popular with the Hollywood liberals--that should explain enough right there. It is him personality that makes him popular over his talent. Malick is NOT a good film maker. His audiences are small because his talent is limited. Malick spends more time trying to convey messages with LONG shots of grass, trees, birds, bushes, etc because his dialog cannot bring out the essence of the film itself. Malick cannot bring the better performances out of his actors that would create the same atmosphere (but better) that he tries to create with his terrific direction. Malick is not in the same league with the great directors of our time: William Wyler, Steven Spielburg, Clint Eastwood, etc. Men who can focus on an actor's eyes for the perfect emotion, men who can tell a story without focusing on a blade of grass, and men who can make three hour movies and maintain a proper flow of visuals and dialog. Rent The Thin Red Line, Heaven's Gate, or Badlands (all in the worse 100 movies of all time) and if you can sit through any of them; you are ready for Malick.

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