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1/10
Horrific Attempt at Horror
29 October 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The Hills Have Eyes is yet another unnecessary horror remake that relies on shock and gore instead of true horror that comes from playing upon our fears.

Set in the barren deserts of New Mexico, a happy family is besieged by a group of individuals hideously mutated by radioactive fallout from the US Government's testing of nuclear weapons in the area roughly fifty years ago. They look terrifying, they murder and cannibalize their victims and communicate mostly in grunts. They are in fact so over the top, so hideously deformed, that there is no sense of reality to their existence. They are the monsters of this film, yet they are not frightening because they do not play upon our fears. They are so fictionalized, so distanced from our reality, that they exist outside of it and are rendered harmless to the viewers.

Watching this film I was reminded of Tobe Hooper's horror classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which I consider to be one of the most frightening films ever made. What makes it so frightening is not the attractive teens being picked off one by one, what is frightening are that film's monsters; Leatherface and his family. They are a family, just like the family everyone has. We can instantly relate to them, which makes the fact that they are murderous cannibals truly horrifying because the film intimately drags the viewer into their world. Family is a safety zone, and to destroy such a comfort as family the way The Texas Chainsaw Massacre did is quite terrifying.

The Hills Have Eyes attempts to play up this same kind of familial terror, but fails. The family of monsters are, of course, all hideously deformed. We are given glimpses of a matronly figure, and are introduced to a giant-headed father figure who doles out the orders. Yet there is no sense that this family is connected, that they are functional, that they are even human. The viewer therefore cannot relate and therefore cannot be as terrified as the filmmaker thinks we should be.

Yet one more reason why the film fails in creating horror is that it paints the monsters as victims. In the original, the murderous mutants were simply murderous mutants, but in the remake they are victims of Big Government testing. We are shown a graveyard where the mutants laid to rest the victims of the nuclear testing, we are constantly made aware of the horrible effects the testing had on those who linger on (even getting glimpses of mutant children--not children, poor things!). If we can feel pity for the monsters in even the slightest ways, then they are no longer as monstrous and the horror is no longer as horrifying.

On to the much publicized gore of the film. The blood flows freely as a woman's organs are consumed in front of her son, a man is burned alive, fingers are chopped off and pickaxes plunge into craniums. This use of excessive gore adds nothing to the films, in fact it distracts from it. By having so much violence, so much ridiculously elaborate gore, the film creates a bloody other world for the film to exist in. The viewers are not part of this world, so they cannot be frightened by it.

In summation The Hills Have Eyes fails completely as a horror film. Its creations of monsters is over the top, as is the violence and Emilie De Ravin's American accent. At an hour and 48 minutes (unrated cut) this film is not worth your time. Rent the original or better yet rent Texas Chainsaw and see how a horror film should be made.
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Danzón (1991)
3/10
Fails almost completely as a film.
16 November 2005
This film can hardly be classified as such. It lacks and visual style to distinguish it from other poorly made melodramas. It's characters are almost all stock, save for Julia, who is the only person the audience is supposed to connect with. However, due to a poor performance by the main actress and a horrifically abstract plot, we are unable to connect in any real way with this woman.

Julia runs off to a city she does not know to find her dance partner, and she does not find him, but she does find a new sort of "family" consisting of a drag queen, a hooker, a no-nonsense hotel manager and a man young enough to be her son who she gets to "know" very well. This would be almost satisfying if the film did not first establish her OTHER family by giving the relationship Julia has with her daughter and her friends at home so much screen time. Maybe the "finding herself and her family" story line would have been effective if the viewer did not already feel that she had these things already. This choice makes the whole film obsolete, and instead of making Julia sympathetic, it makes her seem selfish and also very stupid.

But then there is the ending. She returns home to her first family (after abandoning her found family, just like her dance partner had abandoned her--so had she really grown?)and returns to the dance hall, alone and ready to dance without a partner. This is the one act that showed some bravery (the actually brave kind, not the dumb "I'm running off to a strange city alone to spend all my savings looking for one man" kind). FOr a moment, the viewer is left satisfied thinking that the film is allowing its heroine to grow--but then who should appear but Carmelo, her dance partner. The frame is filled by their passion-less dance for what seems like hours, and the end credits begin to roll. This is a wholly unsatisfying ending for two reasons: 1)The film establishes Carmelo to be kind of a God figure, illusive and unobtainable, the perfect being that Julia is going to such ends to be with, and to show us him is just painful. 2)It negates the rest of the plot. Why did we waste so much time on this journey if she didn't really need to take it? Would Carmelo not have come back if she had not befriended a drag queen? The problems with this movie go beyond plot elements. It is very poorly shot. First time director Navaro (who also edited the film) lets the camera linger for far too long on mostly static objects. This halts the pacing of the film, and it occurs many, many times throughout. There is also an amazing amount of fluid camera movements, pans and tilts from one character to another, to a sign, to a building and then back to another camera. It is nauseating to see.

The only thing that keeps me from giving this film a 1 is that it does show single women of a certain age living in Mexico, and it shows them in a positive light. It does not victimize them as single women so often are in Mexican cinema, but deals with them as people who work, who live and who are independent. But this is just not enough to support a film. As a feminist statement, it makes its point, as an entertaining or engaging film, it fails completely.
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1/10
Not as bad as you've heard--it's worse.
8 June 2004
Warning: Spoilers
CONTAINS SPOILERS

After protesting for as long as I could, my brother convinced me to see the third installment of the Matrix trilogy, The Matrix Revolutions. I will begin by saying that I was a big fan of the first film, and was curious to see how the story would end. I went into the movie with as open a mind as I could, but after the first forty-five minutes I was just angry at how bad the movie really was.

It was at this point that Neo was reunited with Trinity after being held by the "Frenchman" in a sort of limbo (in this case it was a white on white on white train station.) This story line was entirely useless, especially since the conflict was resolved and served no point in the rest of the movie, except to introduce a cute little girl who is a machine, a useless program going on to live with the Oracle. (I lie, this story-line also gave the Wachowski brothers an excuse to film both a bondage night club and Monica Belucci's ample cleavage.)

The movie goes on from there building up tension and "drama" that leads up to the breaching of the last human city, Zion. Another thing I do not understand is why the humans want to be free? The Matrix is a much better place to live than the real world, which is dark and cold and only hospitable under the ground. The people here have reverted to a new religion and to wearing horrifically unflattering clothing. Why would they choose this life of constant turmoil and darkness over the life of at least supposed happiness in the matrix?

The movie builds up to two climaxes, one involving Neo in the Machine City and another involving the rest of mankind in Zion. In the end there is a depressingly anti-climatic battle in Zion where lots of stuff blows up real good, and not one person shows a single emotion. It is as if the directors told each actor to choose an emotion and facial expression to go along with that emotion and to stick with it. Watch closely Morpheus and Trinity for an example of this.

Neo ends up having to fight the billions of Agents Smiths that have taken over the Matrix. If he wins, there will be peace, if not Zion will be destroyed. Since it all comes down to this battle, then what was the point of the rest of the movie? Especially the drawn out battle scene that precedes the films second climax? It is enough to make a person mad.

In the end Neo of course defeats Smith in a manner that made no sense to me or my brother. Peace is declared and the Matrix trilogy comes to the most infuriating happy ending ever in the history of movies.

Earlier I said that I was a fan of the first film, that has all changed because of what the Matrix went on to become. With the first film, they made history, but with the second two the Wachowski's have committed murder. The special effects in the second two movies are not eve as impressive, especially in Revolutions (never before have I seen a more boring gun fight!) This movie is infuriating and poorly written with so/so special effects and some of the worst acting ever captured o film (Yes, I am including the Star Wars Prequels). Skip this movie, skip Reloaded and simply watch the Matrix on DVD. It is far better.
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