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Reviews
Underworld (2003)
Imaginative but faulty.
Here is yet another twist on the structural rules of being a vampire and a werewolf. The style of the movie is quite good and it has a very "comic book" feel to it. The acting is pretty good too. The story line lacks quite a bit and you'll have to throw away what you already "know" about these mythical creatures because the director made up his own rules, which are creative, but lack depth. Overall, the movie holds the audience's attention primarily because the movie has some interesting twists and turns plot and story wise moreso than because the movie was captivating. Also, the movie is much better while listening to the DVD Director commentary since the director and writers explain a lot that is missing or misunderstood while watching the actual movie. This is a good film that is worth at least one watch and once with the commentary. You'll like it or you wont.
Feardotcom (2002)
Disturbing And Stupid
A drawn-out, messy storyline with few chills, mediocre acting, and random unrealistic elements that make the movie confusing and difficult to follow. It is also another example of modern horror where the entire point of the movie is to use special effects and dark gray screens to portray very graphic violence (in this case graphic torture scenes) that disturb and nauseate and further attempts to desensitize watchers to violence and murder. There are couple of attempts at witty humor and style with the characters but these are way off base. The music score does contain some creepy sounds which would have set the stage for a good ghost story, however the over-use of graphics take away any enjoyment of the creepy feeling the music may have given audiences. Many scenes focus on the torture of the victims prior to death and I found these to be unnecessary as they contribute nothing to the film's progression. The movie isn't shocking and doesn't present anything that hasn't already been in other modern films of gore and murder. The tone of the film is overly serious making it quite stupid in many places, especially toward the end. I don't recommend it because it is a bad film that is just a waste of time to watch. Not to mention the subject matter of torturing people to death is just not something that I feel comfortable entertaining myself with. By reading the reviews and message boards I don't think any adult did like this film. However, there seem to be quite a few teenagers who did . In fact, the film itself seems to be marketed toward those who glorify violence and murder without consequence and is a good example of some of the movies that contribute to the societal problem of children being overly apathetic and quite anti-social - but that is an issue best discussed elsewhere. I give it 0 stars.
The Boondock Saints (1999)
I didn't like it. Here's why....
This is a film that you will either like because you pick out the good parts or hate because you simply can't get past the bad parts. I couldn't get past the bad parts. For starters, the film is very improbable as well as unrealistic with too many silly elements that do not at all mesh with the very serious and dramatic tone maintained throughout. Because the film doesn't contain the necessary parts of a satire it can't be argued that it was meant to be one. In the end, the movie ends up being 2 hours of outlandish violence and very irritating characters that received way too much screen time. I found myself wanting to fast forward any scene containing the minor character Rocco. And the 5 minute flaky detective scenes where he is singing to opera music and dressing in drag was just too senseless and foolish for me to stomach. I would have at least felt better about movie if, at the end, the Irish brothers recognized Rocco's annoying mannerisms and shot him for being so aggravating and stupid! The only `saving grace' about this movie, and the only reason I would ever consider re-watching this movie, is the `coolness' of the two brothers. The brothers interacted well together and were very entertaining to watch so long as they weren't in any scenes with any of the other characters. In conclusion. I found this movie to be annoying and very disappointing. It has a good premise, though not original. Nothing was special about the editing or special effects, or even the characters themselves. If you want a movie with good shootouts, and `cool' guys with real accents check out movies like Snatch or Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. These movies are a lot of what this movie wishes it could at least be compared to. As for the director's debut: He needs a lot more practice and I'd like to know how he goes from an absolute nobody to getting such a movie budget to make such a horrid film. I guess some ideas sound better on paper.
Evil Toons (1992)
A soft porn B Horror movie. What more can you ask for?
`Evil Toons' is a rather entertaining movie with fair to average acting, very attractive women running around with no clothes on, a not-too-bad of a plot, a very horney cartoon character with an extra long tongue, and plenty of laughable elements that make B movies so much fun. The movie isn't presented as a serious drama or even a serious comedy and one gets the impression that all the recognizable actors in it knew this in advance. After all, I hope they read the script prior to shooting.
The movie begins with the typical horror genre; Four girls are hired to stay and clean a very large, but abandoned house. While cleaning, one of them finds a creepy looking book covered in real skin that contains pornographic images of cartoons and is written entirely in Latin. And wouldn't you know it, the geeky girl knows just enough Latin to get them all into trouble. As with any movie that ends up on the B listing, there could have been many improvements that would have made this movie better - but too late now - I doubt any of the actors will do a sequel.
In short, don't expect too much more than a lot of good laughs accompanied by the shaking of your head. The movie is well worth the $5 rental fee.