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Glass Onion (2022)
8/10
Improves upon the positives of the first one, and fixes a lot of the mistakes.
26 December 2022
I scoffed at the first Knives Out.

It was poorly structured with dumb scripting and awkward reveals. Sadly this meant the wonderful cinematography and performances got overshadowed.

However, with the second outing - Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery - it seems Rian Johnson has learned from his mistakes, as we are given a much tighter script and story, with well paced reveals and switcheroos.

The writing was steadier, more consistent and far more engaging, this time around complementing the creative strengths of Rian Johnson's vision.

A very quirky outing indeed, with well paced, almost takes-the-p*ss-out-itself comedic timing, that knew when to set the comedy aside for those long reveals.

Unique in it's premise? Not at all. A fun take on an Agatha Christie style outing? Absolutely. I look forward to Mr. Blanc's next mystery!
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7/10
Low Scores Are A Sad Indictment Of Our Surface Level Entertainment Culture
27 November 2022
This film underpromised and overdelivered.

I read the scathing reviews and almost gave this movie a miss.

Until I got some free cinema tickets and decided to go and see this with my partner one night for the hell of it (no pun intended).

Let it be said, I'm both a cinephile and a huge horror fan - but almost to a fault.

I hate corny overuse of jump scares, I hate films that lack substance and just rely on tacky cheap thrills to get by.

You know, the kind of films like this year's box office smash hit Smile - which serve as a staple halloween flick for the average layman to get their yearly dose of scares.

I don't see how cr*p like Smile received such raving reviews for being utterly devoid of any originality, whilst this film actually dared to develop character and weave a solid story only to get review bombed as a result.

Prey For The Devil not only shook up the genre, establishing a unique story with a likeable protagonist, but it did well to space out it's scares and develop a story laden with spine tingling creep.

Honestly I do not say this much with horror cinema trips, but I came out of this experience feeling so respected by the writers.

I can see how the average layman would automatically give this a thumbs down even though I don't understand why people HAVE to make horror mutually exclusive from a well paced, patient script that goes for the long pay off.

A good horror film needs depth, it needs stakes, it needs a solid foundation of a story and a strong setting. Prey For The Devil has all of this, and paces itself evenly, making for fantastic pay off when the utterly disturbing scenes get underway (and under your skin).

I'm feeling restored after the absolute time waster that was Smile last month, and I have Prey For The Devil to thank for that.

If you're a true horror fan and love the sub-genre of possession films, you will be pleasantly satisfied by this film.
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3/10
Positively generic, surface level with clichéd dialogue and eye-rolling tropes.
22 November 2022
We're seeing the same thing now with this new Ana De Armas movie about Marilyn Monroe.

Patronising movie making pandering to the masses, relying on public's ignorance of cinematic knowledge to wow and dazzle, with very little substance beneath the surface.

"Oh it's so sad! What an amazing movie!" is unfortunately a dominating opinion for biopics such as this which in turn allows the generic, lazy storytelling, shallow characterisations, cookie cutter writing and eye-rolling choices in cinematography to go largely unnoticed.

Watch The Imitation Game and you'll see that bar the subject being Alan Turing as opposed to Stephen Hawking, you're getting the same tropes over and over again.

Same dialogue structure, same bland piano and strings soundtrack that apparently denotes all biopics of the early to mid 1900's, same one dimensional Oxbridge men talking about sex in between PhD discussions, as if that juxtaposition hasn't been done a thousand times before.

A solid roster of actors that unfortunately went under used, as their thespian ability got traded off for awkward stares, sweet nothings and hooky lines.

All this supplementing a directionless movie that couldn't decide if it wanted to conflict Hawking's deterioration with his scientific achievements or his personal relationships.

And don't get me started on that god awful cheese scene at the end. I'm not surprised Jane made complaints about this film.
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Rent-A-Pal (2020)
8/10
Girlfriend recommended this film, absolutely loved it.
14 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Brilliant character study.

Tone, pacing and direction were spot on - honestly didn't expect much at all, just stuck this on one night, on my partner's recommendation - and was gripped the entire time.

I love a story that isn't cheap, or that leans on clichés - and what I took away from this film was that it genuinely was fresh and unique.

Will Wheaton crushed it, his performance was wildly unsettling, striking the perfect balance between friendly and creepy.

Brian and Amy both gave stellar performances as well as Kathleen.

One thing I didn't expect from this film was the overwhelming emotion, scenes that brought a tear to my eye as the film tackles the subject of dementia, a theme expertly woven into this tale of isolation and psychosis.

Honestly I could rant all day - this film is a hidden gem and if you're into good indie thrillers, definitely don't sleep on Rent-A-Pal.
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2/10
Genuinely Hilarious
8 May 2022
If you're in the mood for a laughable film, give this a go - I was in stitches at certain points.

Dumb plot, dumb direction, dumb characters, dumb dialogue.

A real comedy fest, weirdly worth a go if that's what you're in the mood for.
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1/10
Send this franchise to Azkaban
10 April 2022
Just when I thought it couldn't get any more insulting than The Crimes of Grindelwald - Yates & Rowling outdid themselves in spectacular fashion.

What an atrocious, insulting, messy, inconsistent, awkward jumble of a film.

Laughable plotlines, non-sensical world and lore building, convenience is at an all time high - and don't get me started on the clear and present merchandising attempts through washed out fan service.

Any Harry Potter fan will agree with me when I say that this cash grab of a series needs to die.

Annoyingly - it's SO bad that I can't wait to see what bull they try and get away with in the next one.
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WandaVision (2021)
1/10
Did I watch a different show?
31 March 2022
Everyone I knew rated this tripe so highly?

Absolute nonsense from start to finish, playing more on the uninteresting, forced and under developed relationship between Wanda Nd Vision that got shoe horned down our mouths in between Avengers films off screen.

Marvel fans confuse fan service with good content once again. And the twist was awful, cringe and insulting to the viewer.
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8/10
Reviews need to caaaalm down - it's a fun show !
7 January 2022
People watch this show and then dumping on it because it's not like, a gourmet Michelin star culinary master giving an in depth breakdown on the technical qualities of food.

It's Daym Drops fgs. It's entertainment - the same way you wouldn't watch I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! As your survival guide for the wild.

Doesn't make it a bad show at all.

In Fresh, Fried & Crispy - Damon hits up mouth watering joints across America, injecting love, happiness and personality into his visits. His great chemistry with everyone he meets is what makes this a good vibe show.

And the cinematography compliments the foodie fun perfectly, making any lover of a good hearty meal want to jump into the screen just to get a bite.

Looking forward to season 2 for more good vibes and good food - for now, back to his YouTube channel <3.
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Sherlock: The Sign of Three (2014)
Season 3, Episode 2
8/10
Revisiting after many years - this is actually the cleverest episode of Sherlock
27 December 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Back when this aired, I was admittedly, a much younger, more hot-tempered, boisterous person in his early twenties. I hated the episode, felt a lack of substance and thought it wasted time with so much nonsense.

Revisiting it many years later whilst killing time on a flight, having matured and developed a more steady and level headed manner, I realise now how subtle and well crafted this mystery is.

The "case" so to speak, is expertly interwoven throughout the whole episode, right under our very noses - which makes this episode an all the more rewarding experience upon a rewatch.

I used to think Sherlock was flawless as a series, but having grown out of it a little with age, a lot of the episodes have fallen quite short in terms of their string of logic justifying the actions of either the villain, or Sherlock himself.

So you can imagine my surprise when the one episode I was adamant remained a terrible instalment, has managed to subvert all my former opinions with its brilliance.

The format of the episode is what lends itself well to this one, instead of events unfolding before our very eyes, the clues and reveals of the case are kept as a secondary nerve to the events we are presented with at face value - nevertheless, these events are but a red herring to distract the audience from the well hidden facts of the case which we are presented with, but cannot spot as they slip by you in you aren't paying the utmost attention.

Overall, the case builds itself well, and holds together very soundly, all the while we are given some excellent character development and dynamic interaction

The only part it falls short is the way Sherlock is just "able to figure it out" because "it matters now" - but this is exactly the plot element that is so prevalent in many other episodes, less so in The Sign of Three.
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Luca (2021)
7/10
Silencio Bruno !
22 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Pleasantly surprised with this outing after the hugely disappointing Raya and the Last Dragon.

Had a lot of heart and left me teary eyed at the end. They focus a lot on character building and relationship development in this film which makes for a wonderful payoff.

I'll probably put this on my list of films to watch again.
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8/10
Maintains the essence of the first 2, departs from the story structure with solid success.
6 June 2021
I'm a huge fan of chilling, creepy, fear inducing horror.

It's trickier to manoeuvre than other genres and can very easily fall into the trap of rigid, trite jump scares.

What sets The Conjuring (main series) apart from the chaffe of mainstream horror films is a masterful demonstration of lighting, sound design, framing, story and character depth.

"Scary" is subjective. However, I believe the average joe confuses intentional scares with scary.

The moments that stay with me from excellent horror films are not the jumps, the boogeyman faces, the screams or the gore - but the feeling of dread that cuts right to your core.

The Conjuring series has always managed to maintain this value - and the third film is no different.

The reason I give it an 8, is because even with a different director at the helm, James Wan stayed on as a writer, making his presence known through the classic one-take, use of shadows and absence of sound we've come to know and love from this series.

The Conjuring 3 shows us that it can deviate from the haunted house story but maintain it's quality - and in my personal opinion - improve upon it's own formula.

It feels like the most cinematic film for sure, with tighter direction coupled with higher production value. But this isn't just a case of "more money, bigger film" - they've really honed in on the details and nuances and it was just such a delicious experience.

I'd say the decision story wise was a fresh take, yet it did lead to an overall ever-so-slightly slower feel at times, however this is more than made up for by what this film does right.
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Spiral (2021)
7/10
Well crafted in terms of cinematography and visual storytelling - but don't expect the same depth from the early Saw films
17 May 2021
Saw this tonight and was pleasantly entertained.

This film definitely did what it set out to do - stand itself apart from the Saw series.

A self contained story that kept all the original elements of Saw whilst taking steps to create a different experience.

Cinematically this film definitely has a tighter feel to it, introducing more visually appealing shots, playing around with dramatic colour tones and lighting.

Story wise - yes - it's predictable - but if you're going to watch the 9th film in the series expecting to be blown away like with the first instalment, then you're wasting your time. Needless to say, it didn't need complex layers of depth to be entertaining - and that brings me onto Chris Rock.

Elements of humour were much more present in this film than ever before - but the way in which the humour was implemented through the whole renegade cop/new trainee partner was written very naturally and never felt like it overshadowed the dramatic tone of the film. It gave some much needed laughs and definitely adds something new to the series.

Chris arock performed admirably, as did Samuel L Jackson and Max Minghella.

Is this a mind blowing new chapter? No. Will you get the same gore fest, dark tones and overall grimness we've come to know and love? Yes.

I would definitely recommend this for a watch, it brings something new to the table.
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Kick-Ass 2 (2013)
8/10
Takes Kick Ass to the next level!!
21 August 2013
Warning: Spoilers
As a VERY pessimistic cinema goer who is more often than not put off by the prospect of sequels - I was left dumbfounded at how amazingly perfect this was.

THIS is how you do a sequel - Kick Ass 2 is more uncompromising, more cut-throat and more serious in terms of the consequences that Dave has to face with every action he takes in his fight against The Mother F*cker and his evil forces. The whole plot of the movie shows how the three main characters have broken away from their original lifestyles all because of the events of the first film. Dave is taking his superhero lifestyle further, Mindy is trying to give it up, and Chris (MP) gives an explosive performance as Frank Damico's son who is now going slowly insane following the death of his father.

Hit Girl's conflicting identity was a fantastic nod to the superhero genre - as the first sequel of any superhero movie always involves this storyline one way or another. We really see Mindy's maturity in this film, as she comes to terms with who she really is and tries to fit in to a normal environment in high school. The scenes involving Mindy and the popular girls at her school didn't take away from the experience whatsoever - I was initially worried that there was going to be gratuitous amours of "Mean Girls" chick flick type scenes - but the writers and the directors kept this to a minimal, and it played out very well as Chlöe Grace- Moretz displays a wonderful performance as a girl out of her natural element.

The actor who replaced Marcus did an incredible job of transferring the persona from the original actor - the same cant be said for Todd's new actor unfortunately, as I really found myself hating Todd throughout the entire movie due to the actor's lack of likability. The old Todd we knew didn't exist and this new persona the actor portrayed kind of sucked to be honest.

All in all, the separate storyline's of each character broke off cleanly from one another before neatly coming back together for a brutal final half of the film. Kick Ass 2 is shocking, hilarious and heart-wrenchingly gripping. So much takes place in just an hour and 45 minutes that it felt much longer, yet never once dragged.

I loved Kick Ass 2. Every minute of it. And after this year's failure that was Iron Man 3, I'm glad that THIS was the film which restored my faith in the Superhero genre of film.

Bring on Kick Ass 3 !!
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6/10
Definitely Underrated !
12 May 2013
I'm not a fan of this genre of film - but Couples Retreat never fails to bore me!

It is a much higher standard of a romantic comedy, and has deeper levels than all the wash and reused story lines of most terrible films within this genre that often get high reviews undeservedly.

The characters all have their share of screen time and the chemistry between the whole group works hilariously !! No one tries to steal camera time, and the cast doesn't trip over each other in an attempt to try and be the funniest, they give each other space and the interaction works so organically to the situations within the film.

The length of the movie is longer than most romantic comedies as well which is not a problem, but is instead a fantastic opportunity for such a genre to actually explore the individual relationships more personally, instead of using the same old relationship issues that we usually see.

I usually pick and choose which actors/actresses I preferred in this movie, but all of the cast just clicked so well for me and kept the movie interesting.

A really fun movie, great to watch and watch again and again. A fantastic escape with hilarious results and down-to-earth relationship conflicts. A fresh approach to romantic comedies and a brave leap into new waters (no pun intended), and most of all - a success!

Definitely worth a watch! (or three!)
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4/10
Very Disappointing Marvel.
30 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
First of all, the plot of this film was so jumpy - didn't know who was where due to bad pacing. One minute he's in Rose Hill - next he's in Miami. Way too disconnected,an unbalanced time frame which failed to suck me in.

In regards to the Mandarin plot twist - well that was just a downright insult to both Iron Man fans and Non-fans alike. WHO in their right mind allowed Shane Black to take the reigns on this one?

Plus the plot twist was revealed way too early, and the fact that they used a terrible comedy scene to reveal it was not the best way to get me drawn into the story. I was instead sat there with a blank expression - I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Tony's resourcefulness I will agree on though - he had various tricks up his sleeve and that's what did it for me, it was one of the few things that kept me interested and one of the only parts of the film that felt like a true Iron Man movie.

The little kid Harley was so generic, I felt like I was watching family home alone movie again. He mainly existed to set Stark up for terrible one liners and did little else except deter the plot awfully.

Maya, Aldridge's assistant, could have been a much more crucial role too - the film spent half the time building her up to become a crucial element to the plot - only to throw her away after her sudden change of heart (you know, after 12+ years working for Aldridge.)

I understand she had become corrupted over a period of time getting lost in her work. So how can the film justify her sudden change of heart after a two sentence speech from Tony? Completely bad plot device and not useful.

The one liners in the film started off as funny, but soon became painfully unfunny and repetitive. It no longer felt like Stark had that classy sarcastic wit - instead he was just throwing out joke after joke which devalued his character we all grew to know and love.

There was so much room for deep, genuine heartfelt scripting and the film just passed these moments up to get a few cheap shock laughs from the audience - most of which didn't even have an impact.

They screwed this one up and I'm glad they aren't doing another one - I was happy with the ending though, it was the only way to truly finish Iron Man in style.

Marvel always has me leaving the cinema with an expression of awe.

But not this time, and for good reason.
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