Reviews

You can always count on Wilson Tong giving us a kind of Jive Bunny Mastermix of Kung Fu styles and this film is no exception. Snake, Drunken Snake, Lobster and Shadow kick galore! As always, Tong likes to confuse us with the plots, if there really is a plot. The eastern heroes version is a bit thrown together but still great to see. Not too many versions of this still around though so get it while you can! Like a whos who of kung fu films you'll enjoy spotting your favourite star and Stuntman Also, fans of Angela Mao Ying (the girl from Enter the Dragon, Bruce's sister) will be happy. Although she's only in it for one fight scene its well worth it. M Surman

Maybe I laughed at a couple of things but most of the time I just cringed at his over the top impression of Norman Wisdom/Robin Williams.

I think this is more of a stand up show for people with a mid to low IQ or who can't be arsed to THINK about the observations that a comedian is making.

If you watch soaps, big brother, football, X factor or any other trash TV then this is the DVD for you. Otherwise, go rent an Eddie Izzard DVD.

Oh, and what the hell was that 'musical' number all about at the end? The one where the song sounded like a song written by a 5 year old, went on for 6 hours and had the pretentious idiot's Father miming(yes, miming) the sax solo???

If you like animation, spoon feed plot, slurred acting & lot's of noise then you WILL like this movie. As with King Kong & War of the Worlds I spent my money thinking 'here's a remake made by a decent director who can inject some craft into the original story' and AGAIN I was wrong. I won't go into the 'plot' or details of the movie because I haven't taken in enough caffeine to finish but I will say that from now on I will not waste my money on remakes or anything that has 'Summer' or 'Blockbuster' in the tag line. Why do these films keep getting made? Because we keep GIVING them the money to do so! Is there anything I can say that is positive? John Williams score. (which I can play full blast at home anyway) Marlon Brando's voice-over. That's it. Brandon Routh was so so playing Reeve (not Superman), Spacey was watchable playing Luther and the actor playing Perry White? A sarcastic, cigar chomping slave driver he was not. To sum up, I missed the laughs. Reeve slipped from bumbling, mild mannered reporter to the man of steel with ease and excitement & Margot Kidder WAS Lois Lane, the chain smoking go getter. Not once did you hear lines like; 'Where were you at 4am Clark?' 'Oh, I was just reading dickens...' I rest my case. Go rent buy or steal the original and it's sequel and kick this back to mars, Venus or where ever the hell it was made & for God's sake save your money.

Yes, that's right. This little movie was co-ordinated by none other than Yuen Woo Ping and his band of merry stunt men, his brothers to be exact! It's fun to watch movies by the Yuen Clan, to try and spot all the brothers popping up in different places, sometimes after being stabbed, maimed or killed in a very horrific way! Broken neck? Nay problem, just put a different wig on and fight all over again! Dynamo was a film I saw in 80's then again in the 90's on the Black Belt DVD label then again last night... No Oscars for the main director. Boring pointless story for an excuse to make an excuse for our very convincing, always directed well by the Yuen clan, Bruce Li. Bruce Li made about four films with the Yuens and they're all his best. This film is definitely worth it. Just remember to forget that this is a Bruce-ploitation movie and enjoy the action!! Look out for the funky white game of death suit & the always vomit inducing naked gwai lo (white woman) sex scene!

A very difficult film to locate, I located one through a (ahem) bootleg company which shall stay anonymous. This really has to be Angela's best, better than Broken Oath or Hapkido. Sammo Hung's action is what makes the usual non martial artists look better than they ever have and that includes the often wooden Carter Wong! The plot line, as if anyone ever cares with these films revolves around a Chinese Kung Fu school who owe a great deal of dollars to a local mob. The Sifu gets desperate and takes his two best students which happen to be his sons to Thailand to compete, for money, full contact. Not a good idea as one is injured and one returns to kick up daisies back in Hong Kong. Instead of the Kung Fu elders throwing a massive wake for his loss they ridicule him, steal his students and forces him to hang himself! Enter Angela Mao! She decides that the only way to save face is to go to Thailand, learn Muay Thay and return with said face! The standout scene for me is when the association try to stop her and she goes through each student proving her worth. Look out for Sammo, Wilson Tong & Whang In Sik in this scene. Also, note the soundtrack used to introduce each student. It's a little snip-it taken, illegally no doubt, from the Electric Light Orchestra's B side & album track 'In Old England Town'. Am I sad or what???

Top 5 2004

Oldboy A tale of two sisters Dogville Infernal affairs 2 Lost in translation

Bottom 5

Alien VS Predator Shaolin Soccer (Love the film but Miramax SCREWED IT UP) Love actually Dawn of the Dead Wimbledon

For the record, whether you like foreign films or not, I urge everyone to see Oldboy! It's up there with Kane, Wonderful life, Pulp Fiction, Taxi Driver or any other classic you would care to mention! OK, I know people have said this before; you must see this movie but I mean it, see it, it really is THAT good! If you never see another foreign film again in your life, see this one!