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jkemeyer
Reviews
Hush (2005)
Typical Lifetime Dreck
I don't know if I should be amused or insulted by drivel like this put out by "Lifetime: Television For Women" Should be renamed "Lifetime: Television For Shut In Drama Queens" because I've yet to see a movie that wasn't a tear jerking pot boiler. This film was no exception. You know a film's going to be bad when the biggest headliner is Tori Spelling, completely a creation of bad plastic surgery and spoiled privilege minus any real talent. Everyone else matched her in unbelievably bad acting and the storyline was beyond dumb, as if anyone could believe any of it. If I hadn't have been helpless on the sofa pinned down watching with the same fascination you view a gory car wreck I would have changed the channel.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Worst Remake Ever!
I've been having mixed emotions ever since first hearing that there would be a remake of the classic BBC production of "Hiker" and I have to say that all my fears were confirmed this evening. Worst eight dollars I've ever spent.
First the good, the special effects were outstanding, worlds better in every way to the cheesy low-budget of the original. The production values were top notch, the sound effects stupendous and it was visually stunning.
But.. lines from the book/series that brought chuckles originally registered nary a humorous twinge. Some serious miscasting of actors, and apparent attempts to make this a 'serious' work of sci-fi instead of the parody-laden send up of all that reeks of space adventure simply didn't work any better than the reworking of the lines. After thirty minutes of straight forward following of the original brilliant storyline we were spun off into a series of increasingly more stupid new subplots and characters. The guide was barely featured and not much was explained. The entire movie suffered from the lack of narration unlike the series/book, adding to the confusion for anyone not familiar with the original work. The added romance nearly make me puke in my popcorn. I'm betting Douglas Adams is spinning in his coffin right now.
Stay home with a video tape of the original series, or better yet, read the book.