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Phantasm (1979)
Encounters with a Tall Man.
Plot: A young boy unexpectedly witnesses a bizarre event at the town's cemetery. The boy convinces his older brother to investigate the abnormalities in the graveyard. So, with the help of his brother and Reggie, they investigate the morgue. They encounter strange dwarfs, an incredibly strong, tall man and a few extraordinary weapons.
View: The directing is strong considering that it's a low budget film. Overall it's well directed. The acting is terrible. And the script is filled with major flaws, which is accompanied by slow paced action. I think the film could have concentrated more on what the tall man was actually trying to accomplish and what his world really was. Instead, the film takes us back and forth the mortuary and the brother's house. I think Reggie is abducted from his house on three different occasions. I realize this was all a dream, but it has so many inconsistencies. The only thing I liked about the movie was the extremely cool weapon that glides through the morgue, trying to kill anything in its path. The scene portraying the accidental death of one of the inn keepers is well executed. I think the movie would have been more successful with the inclusions of more of weapons similar to the flying metal death dish.
Vote: 4/10. Just below an average film. Not worth watching unless you have a special connection with the film.
The Tripper (2006)
Below average Slasher.
Plot: A group of hippies attends The American Love Fest. This festival unites the free hippies in a massive display of love, freedom, and drug use. The location of the festival is inside a forest and in the midst of the forest there awaits a man hell bent on wrapping his axe around the head of any person who wonders his forest. One by one, hippies start disappearing, and this strikes the attention of the sheriff, who seems to be the only person concerned with the notion of a maniac lost in the woods. After the deaths of a few, the unenviable happens; the masses of hippies find one of the victims tied feet first to one of the branches of a tree. This instills fear and causes widespread panic. However, it does not last for long; it actually drives the people to dwell deeper into the woods, where they party long and hard in front of a bone fire.
The killer, who wears the mask of former President Ronald Reagan, reaches the pinnacle of his efforts when he rampages around the bone fire, rips of limbs, decapitates heads, and chops other body parts on a massive scale. The funny thing is nobody seemed to run away to safety. Instead, they sat and stared as each victim falls prey to Ronald. The climax is the most famous slasher movie cliché involving the drug free, socially withdrawn, troubled person, who, you guest it, is of course female, and the only person who did not have sex, fights with the evil Ronald Reagan. She eventually kills him with a hammer. Although, guess what, Ronald is not dead. The deputy informs the Sheriff that the body of Ronald had no been recovered, and the end scene shows Ronald stabbing the most annoying character in the film - the event manager. Other slasher clichés include, the murder of the informative old man who heeds warnings to the unsuspecting victims, the killer who turns out to be avenging to death of his mother by killing those who represent the same people who in his mind killed his mother. The couple interrupted during sex who happen to die, the corrupt official, the interaction with the town locals on the way to the festival, where they happen to get drawn into a fight, the crazy ex-boyfriend showing up at the very end, the law abiding sheriff who is the only person, apart from the hero, fearful of things to come, and many others I cannot think of right now. Oh, hang on, the killer who mysteriously vanishes into thin air leaving behind nothing other then his mask.
View: This is just another cliché filled horror/slasher film that brings nothing new to the screen. The setting, plot, characters, dialogue and everything about the film is substandard. Heck, it bored the hell out of me.
Rating: 3/10 - It was terrible, but I've seen worse. I wouldn't recommend it. It's not even worth downloading the sucker for free.
Two and a Half Men (2003)
Cliché mania.
Don't ask the reason why I watched a few episodes of this cliché filled, highly overrated Hollywood junk. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the tired; rundown boring plot, and silly characters. I've recently read that this show follows Everybody Loves Raymond - go figure. It's a show with a domineering mother followed with a show with another domineering mother. Only difference between the mothers is their apparent sense of fashion.
Let's take a look at a few other clichés. If for some unfortunate reason (unfortunate for the producers) the chubby Jake, played by Angus T. Jones, suddenly fell ill and was therefore unable to continue on the set, it would be an exact replica of "The Odd Couple" without the humour. Charlie Harper, played by Charlie Sheen, and Alan Harper, played by Jon Cryer, are so completely different that people claim their mother, played by Holland Taylor, slept with Martin Sheen and then played doctors and nursers with Woody Allen. Another banality is the wise cracking house keeper, who is the funniest character on the show (says a lot about the show) and is exactly like the wise cracking house keeper on "Will And Grace". Again, the resemblance is uncanny. Let's not forget the pulchritudinous Rose (Melanie Lynskey), who is also a psychological unstable, clumsy freak who lives next door. She is much like "Kramer" from "Seinfeld", except Rose is a walking fraction teacher chubby Jake learnt the fundamentals of fractions by constantly studying the amount of clothing Rose unravels on each episode.
The jokes on the set are as original as "The Magnificent Seven". Take for example the jokes about ex-wife lesbian jokes, which was an over used joke on the first season of "Friends". It was the last year jokes about lesbian ex wives were funny anymore. Also, the constant jokes about women are definitely the main reason 82 percent of the viewers of the show are male. I think many females would be furious with the shows take on ladies. It's either that or females are far more intellectually superior then men. The second is highly doubtful, but the first comment seems a fair argument. If your wondering I was being sarcastic about my input of the intelligence of both males and females. I just thought it was fitting since the shows jokes are as funny as mine, and draw a lot of negative reviews by female critics.
So, let's go over the cliché cast of the century. Firstly, there is the weird neighbour, the rich playboy bachelor, the lady like dad, the mature ten year old child, the wise cracking house keeper, the lesbian ex-wife, last but not least and domineering mother.
Wrong Turn (2003)
Entertaining Slasher Flick.
Stan Winston. From the creator of monsters, dinosaurs, aliens, robots, and many other unforgettable creatures that lurk in the shadows of the dark, brings to the stage a 70's style genre, creating with it three disfigured, mutilated, creatures that I shall never forget. You might be asking who this creative genius might be, wondering what creatures this person actually created, and have you the viewer seen any of the movies this person played a major role in. Let me open the window, letting out the suspense by revealing the identity of this freak of human nature, who has been sending shivers up peoples spine since the 70's, the MAN of ice goes by the name of Stan Winston. Stan Winston's first, and to many avid fans his most memorable creation were the Gargoyles, and during this era Stan created many other amazing freaks, but I shall skip less recognizable work to works of brilliance which many readers of this review will be sure to recall with complete, and utter admiration of Stan's work. OK, let me start by introducing the robot in the movie Terminator (need I remind the reader how original the robot was at the time?) The next unbelievable, and also my favourite was the extraordinary Alien in the movie Predator - once again the same question applies. Stan went on the create many, many other unforgettable creatures in movies galore; T2, Jurassic Park, The Relic, Edward Scissorhands, AI, and before I start writing Stan's biography, let me share my views about Wrong Turn.
From the opening scene of the desperate hiker to the very end, WR is like the line on a graphic equalizer - with high peaks, low's, and off-course a balance. One can argue the balance is sometimes very predictable, unoriginal, lacks suspense, but on the other hand the high's lift the low's to balance out the movie into eighty something minutes of a stable, entertaining horror flick. Not to mention the performances of the leading actors - Eliza Dushku, who plays a strong minded, strong willed, HOT BABE, who after being dumped by her x, travels with her friends into the wilderness upon where they meet Chris Flynn (Desmond Harrington) And, oh boy the meeting isn't your standard office meeting.
The next twenty or so minutes concentrates on introduction of the characters, and off-course a brief glimpse of the ever so frightening trio of physically retarded maniacs. Again, this sequence of events is predictable, but the bear trap scene is quite the opposite. Now, the most interesting part of the movie, where the equalizer level is set at high happens when the four unsuspecting adventures stumble across a cabin, and decide to enter in hope of finding a phone. Each of the four travels into various rooms with each individual discovering unique objects, when all of a sudden they hear the roaring engine of a tow truck approaching the house. When they rush across to see what the drama is, they see the tow truck and catch a glimpse of the trio. Panic sinks in striking the cords on each persons own fear. The four are un-able to escape, opting to hide in pairs in two parts of the house. This is what I was talking about before - can you imagine seeing your own sister being mutilated by three freaks of nature, while you're stuck underneath the safest place in the house? I'll allow the people who have yet watched the movie to thoroughly enjoy this sequence of events by moving right along to the scene leading up to the end, which is in my view almost as terrifying as the house scene, but with a little more gore, and spice added to the mix. In this scene the remaining male comes across a police officer, who happened to be the person listening to the distress call made the night before - all seems to be finally about to end, but instead while Chris tries explaining the situation, an arrow comes blazing past Chris striking the officer. Once again this particular killing of the police officer is almost an exact replica of Friday the 13th 4, when Jason uses a spear gun exterminating the victim in one crucial blow to the eye. I purposely left out scenes where originality conquered the setting. I'm sure all horror fans realized why. Rating 7/10