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Reviews
Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975)
True campy sadistic delight!
Dyanne Thorne stars in this `shocking' exploitation film, which was to be the first of the controversial Ilsa series. As Commandant (also referred to as Frauline docktor), a medical official of the Nazi's Third Reich, she runs a terribly sadistic concentration camp known simply as `camp 9'. Though all in all a very interesting movie, it has its moments of sheer boredom, making you wonder where exactly it is going. Packed with excellent one-liners and certain situations that can't help but make you laugh, despite the disturbing nature of the movie. It is also rather obvious that the nazi propaganda portrayed in this movie is intended more for shock value as opposed to the promotion of fascism. Castration of male prisoners who do not satisfy Ilsa's insatiable sexual appetite, the use of an electrocuting phallus to test the female threshold of pain, and flogging to the bloody death are just a few of the more gruesome moments. Full of senseless nudity and illicit sex, but what more could be expected from a movie titled `Ilsa: She wolf of the SS'. The acting is quite overdone, and the script definitely lacks in places, but of course this only adds to the campiness. Personally I did enjoy this movie in sort of a sick twisted way, and recommend it to anyone who has a dark sense of humor. If you can sit thru this one you'll love the rest of the series, `Ilsa: Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks' where she is Cadeen of an Arab harem; and `Ilsa: Tigress of Siberia', as a communist camp leader turned Madame of a Canadian whorehouse. There is also a fourth movie originally titled `Greta the Mad Butcher' which was later re-titled `Ilsa: The Wicked Warden', solely to ride the success of it's predecessors. The final does star Dyanne Thorne, who unfortunately only has about 30 minutes of screen time, as the movie seems to center more around the prisoners of a South American Sanitarium. -Mark Thomas
Harriet Craig (1950)
Joan Crawford at her best!
Casting Joan Crawford as Harriet Craig was the perfect decision. She stars in this gloomy melodrama as a woman whose compulsion for cleanliness and complete control ultimately destroys her. I have heard before that this movie was written as a comedy (which is quite evident in the original version "Craig's Wife" starring Rosalind Russell) but due to Crawford's coldness in playing Harriet, the tone of the movie completely changed. Don't get me wrong, it does have its amusing moments, as unintentional as they might be. We see Crawford act completely condescending towards everyone she comes in contact with. It is made quite obvious that Harriet manipulates her husband, Walter, who believes Harriet is the perfect wife, by keeping him "happy" in the bedroom. Some rather suggestive dialogue even for 1950. The absolute best is when Harriet holds a dinner party for Walter's boss. She seems completely rude to her guests who all coincidentally happen to be over 50, making Harriet look like a glamour girl. Much of what makes this movie so amusing is the way in which the dialogue is presented, as well as Crawford's ridiculous gestures. "My that's a lovely vase.,' exclaims one of the guests, pointing towards Harriet's most prized possession. "It's Ming-Dynasty" replies Harriet proudly displaying her vase like some prize-girl on a gameshow. Harriet seems not to feel compassion for anyone and tolerates no mistakes. "I was wondering if you ever intended on serving the coffee, my guests have been waiting for quite some time!" Harriet shouts at her maids, causing one of them to drop a teacup. Harriet's looks as if she is about to explode as the cup shatters on the floor. "I'm so sorry Mrs. Craig!" "Yes, of course your sorry, but sorry won't mend my broken tea set!" sneers Harriet as she fires the maid. The movies seems to keep building just to show us how wicked Harriet is, including a visit to her husband's boss which is completely unforgettable. She interferes with her cousin's love life, almost causes her husband to lose his job, fires all of her staff, and to top it off is mean to the little boy next door. "What was Harriet Craig's Lie? Proclaimed the posters and advertisements for this movie. The answer: Her entire existence. The lies just continue to pour out one after the other until everyone is so far driven by it, they leave. But does Harriet learn her lesson? Of course not, even the final line in the movie is a lie. So in the end all we see is Harriet with the only companion to whom she's stayed true...her house. This movie is by far one of my favorite Joan Crawford movies, and what's really coincidental about it, Harriet Craig, the character, almost foreshadows Joan's persona in Christina Crawford's trash novel "Mommie Dearest". Perhaps Christina saw this movie too many times, and confused the facts. :) ****If you liked this movie you'll LOVE Joan Crawford in "Queen Bee". It's like Harriet Craig, but set in the south! -Mark Thomas.