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A Collection of uninspired scenes...
5 December 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Greetings...

>>> Spoilers Present <<<

Gangs of New York - I didn't like it. Too confusing, too uninspired, no rational basis for any motivations. The ONLY good character and the ONLY character in the movie who has ANY kind of "Morality" is the Bad Guy, The Butcher! And we are supposed to believe that he is somehow morally equivalent to Amsterdam, the upstart boy harboring a 16 yer old spurious grudge. Get off it! His Daddy was killed in honorable battle, under honorable conditions, The Butcher did everything to show that he WAS honored. What's the basis of this grudge?

Historical accuracy aside, the movie would have been valuable alone by telling about the times in and around the draft riots in N.Y. That alone would have made the movie worth watching. The rest of the disjointed and completely UNBELIEVABLE trivia going on in the movie (any scene containing Decaprio or what's her name...) is nothing but fluff...
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Not Bad, but not good...
23 June 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Greetings...

>>>*** SPOILER WARNING ***<<<

Though the movie is already pretty spoiled anyway!

Not really a sequel, this low budget C flick has only one redeeming virtue, it's NOT animated. While seemingly based on the same story line as the first movie, this is really an alternate movie that should have been disposed of. Too many dead actors from the first movie show up and die in THIS movie. Example: the dead Captain Deladier from the first movie is the female cigar chomping suicidal Sergent in this movie. The General and the psycorp Lt. both look suspiciously familiar, and I swear I saw a couple of the same extras dying as disposable troopers.

The premise : The Bugs have a new kind of mind control bug, and maneuver a platoon of MI into a controlled situation where they can be infected and take the new mind controlling bug back to the general population. Now if it weren't for the complete ignorance of the writers, the totally ridiculous behavior of the characters, and the absolutely implausible responses and reactions of every situation, The movie could have worked and been a very good story. Unfortunately, the writers were morons, the actors, while trying very hard NOT to be comedic at every turn, failed to carry the scenes, and there is no sign of intelligent life anywhere in the movie.

But all in all, it's a fun gory frag fest with absolutely no background, and no possibility of a sequel itself! This is more of an episode of the Twilight Zone meets StarShip Troopers than an actual movie.

If Wally World put's a $5.00 price tag on the DVD, then it's probably worth the price because you also get a nifty reusable DVD case that could be put to better use. Don't bother renting it, if you really want to see it, wait for it to show up in the clearance bins and you can keep it for the same price as a rental...

Going into detail about what happens in the movie is a waste of time -

Suffice to say that it's completely predictable over feminized politically correct liberal psyco-babble nonsense. Salted with gratuitous and totally absurd nudity, bizarre and unexplainable motivations and stupid decisions at every level. It's a set piece failure of direction where the major expense seems to have been the wind machine behind a box of sand... It's a total cliché of combat grunt-speak supposedly by a bunch of conscripted wannabe newbs completely incompetent as professional soldiers.

One bonus side effect - It's a compelling argument as to WHY women should NOT be in combat units...

Unfortunately, though laughably, the movie is a liberal anti-war, anti-government propaganda vehicle that desperately tries to hide in plain sight. Unfortunately the Cloaking device wasn't installed, and no one told the crew... The level of unintentional comedy is just too high and makes the whole movie too ridiculous to be taken seriously as a thriller, which it could have been with better writing and acting.

However, there ARE a couple of very good scenes that could have been much more effective if the director had used them as story motivation.

One such excellent wasted scene was during the initial outside battle at the station - when some unknown female trooper is grounded (ala Dizzy in the first movie) and is being torn apart and dragged back by a bug. The Lt., who was cowering behind a wall at the time, attempted to reach out and grab her hand and pull her to safety, unsuccessfully.

Unfortunately the scene was NOT played up and is soon forgotten.

The special effects are "PASSABLE" for a B grade flick and most of the effects failures can be forgiven, such as the flashing blue lights of the gunfire on the guns that have absolutely NO recoil. I kept wondering when the standard issue "Marita" MI assault rifle will show up on the toy store shelves... The Bug CGI is okay, if recycled, but not anywhere near the quality or the detail of the first movie.

It's a good thing that the movie never hit the theaters - They wouldn't have sold more than 5 DVD's if it had. If you have ever seen the huge clearance DVD bins in some stores, expect to see this movie in it...

I give it 4/10 as a rating. Or 1.5 bugs. As a gratuitous violence flick it has enough story to make it better than most video games. And at least the actress that walks around nude most of the flick was passably good looking...
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Nail biting!
23 June 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Greetings...

A fantastic movie! I was on the edge of my seat the whole picture! This great remake included a more modern psychology and a somewhat better representation of suddenly being thrust into a world of sudden death and mayhem where the simplest mistake makes you a goner.

The characters are an excellent mix.

>>>***!!!SPOILER WARNING!!!***<<<

The neofascist security guard who redeems himself in the end by sacrificing himself to give the others time to board the boat, the self centered jerk who actually owned the boat, the slutty blond who gets it with the chainsaw by the scared old man, the idiot halfwit security guard who doesn't even comprehend it when he's pulled down and eaten by the hoard. And those are just some of the minor characters!

The movie starts off with a bang, a very good high speed impact of a van t-boning a car then careening off the highway into a parking lot and exploding - seen from a helicopter shot. Excellent!

I loved the ending during the credits as told by the flashing movie camera - that no matter where you go, no matter how far you run, you can't escape hell on earth!

I loved the music too - it was entirely appropriate! I LOVED the old Johnny Cash song! Unlike other comments I found the music was more than just mood or background. It conveyed the story as much as the actors did!

The movie is extremely fast paced and exciting, never a dull moment except for the strategically placed mundane life to let your nerves calm down enough to get them recharged by the next rushing zombie attack.

The Zombies are fast! Stupid but fast! I thought the scenes in the armored buses was great! The zombies swarmed them and almost pulled them over - a totally unexpected development for the characters! That's good...

An excellent Zombie flick - not polluted with false humor or inane stupid characters. The characters are actually TRYING to survive, but are somewhat ill equipped or prepared to do so. An excellent social commentary. When they try the fancy "Hollywood" ideas, those fail miserably and they lose more of their limited numbers. Success and survival is found with sacrifice and hard work, not fancy movie ideas or easy ways out.
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4/10
NOT The Greatest Story Ever Told...
28 April 2004
Greetings...

Unfortunately, I live in a vault, and went into the movie thinking that Mel Gibson was playing the part... OOps.... When I recovered from that mistake, I sat there shaking my head thinking, this is trash, this will never play over the Easter holiday on TBN, This has NOTHING to do with Jesus...

Then I got it...

What this is, is the Brutal Truth. Not the sanitized pablum you get fed in sunday school. You should already KNOW the dialog, because it's a movie for those of us who already do. We already know the story. This is all the bits that your 20th century liberal upbringing and 2000 years of sanitation efforts has kept you from seeing.

It's the message that inspired Christianity. The Wake-Up call that the desciples themselves sold to the populace of THAT time. Your average person back then was intimately familiar with this kind of brutality and could easily identify with the hero.

This movie isn't a replacement for "The Greatest Story Ever Told"...

It's a suppliment... It's the insert that you SHOULD have seen to get it... Get both movies - play the first three hours of the old classic, then stop it in the Garden of Gethsemane and put in this one...

Enough said...

Thanks Mel... I get it now...
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7/10
Continues the Decent into Madness...
26 April 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Greetings...

I won't rehash the topic of what happens - You've read the rest...

>>> SPOILERS - TURN BACK NOW <<<

This movie is appropriately titled : We are given only SNAPS of Ginger... As hallucinations of Bridgette as she slowly decends into the great darkness.

As sequels go, this is an adequate #2 in a three part series... We are treated to the continuing decent into madness of the little dumpy sister of the first movie. This has all the look and feel of a set up sequel. To get money and funding for a finale Part 3...

Again, it's low buget, but has an adaquate storyline to take us to a plausible conclusion. Bridgette, fully transformed and locked in the basement ready to be unleashed in the final episode with little psychotic Ghost as her fantasy comic book Mistress holding her chain.

This movie lacks the plot twists and turns of the first movie, but that's okay - It's not a discovery story like the first one, we already know what is going on. This episode, introduces us to the fact that there ARE other WereWolves out there, and one of them is sniffing around Bridgette - we aren't told who this other WereWolfe is, possibly the boy from the first movie who we last saw stumbling off to class with a syringe sticking out of his neck? OR is it some OTHER population of lycanthropes... That's the problem, we don't know.

All in all, this one follows the standard teen Monster movie rules of engagment. Everyone who has sex dies, everyone who does drugs dies, everyone who oppresses the hero or heroine dies, and in the most gruesome ways possible. No surprises. The surprise in the end that we discover is that cute little troubled Ghost - is a raving lunatic!! And locks Bridgette in the cellar dungeon alive to heal up to unleash on the world.

Personally, I can't wait for episode 3!!!
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Ginger Snaps (2000)
8/10
Ah, the problems of youth. As good a story as The Fly...
26 April 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Greetings...

Rated: 8/10 Excellent!

Not since Alien has a monster movie made me "Scared".

Simply said - This movie is a fantastic monster movie.

Monster movies, for the most part, are cliched formula flicks that follow certain rules of engagment. Ginger Snaps, breaks all the rules, in the right ways, and gives surprises and twists, mixing the terrible night terrors and the mundane teenage life is hell attitude, into a completely entertaining and refreshing scary movie that does it's job, and does it well! Artisticly and masterfully mixing in just the right amount of campy humor, teenage nudity, peer abuse, sneering teenage angst, and sheer mind numbing stark raving terror. Toss in a dash of emotionalism, titulation, a few tear jerking touching scenes, then SLAMS you back on the meat table with the blood gore and guts flying! Very well done... And that's difficult to do well.

I generally rate movies on "predictability" - Ginger Snaps is NOT predictable. It is a refreshingly unique WereWolfe tale.

>>><<< !!! =-( SPOILER WARNING )-= !!! >>><<<

At the end of the movie, when Ginger is stalking her sister in the celler, after making a meal of the doper science hack, I was fully prepared for MOM to come down the stairs and reveal that she was the Queen WereWolfe and say something like "Oh you girls, Ginger stop knawing on your sister's leg!" I thought I had it figured out!

All the classic Monster movie clues are there! Mom keeps a stock of the ONLY flower that can make the secret elixyr that cures the lycanthropic deseise, MOM discovers the body of the neigbor girl and is willing to cover it up, to burn down the house and ditch dad at a whim! MOM says the magic prophetic words "Just We Girls"... But NO!!! Ginger is Killed!?!?! But she has 2 more movies to do! How could she be killed?

Like The Fly (the remake) it's a tragedy story where every one dies, or wishes they had. This is one of those few monster movies, that ISN'T an insult to your intelligence, or your common sense. It is true Gothic Horror mixed with a psychotic decent into madness.

However, There ARE a few nitpicking mistakes that could have been handled better:

Using Isopropyl Alchohol as a base liquid for an injection is a VERY bad idea and is INSTANTLY lethal...

They didn't include the standard Disclaimer line: "We can't go to the authorities, because they will never believe us, and they will think we are crazy" It is just assumed...

The low budget is plain, the monster is a bit comic in it's movements, and doesn't express well. It's obviously a latex animatronic or low cost digitizing to look that bad. There were a couple of scenes, where an expressive "Ginger-Wolfe" would have played very well. Especialy the finale scene when Bridgette kills her. A potentially touching heart wrending scene was lost there because the animatronic couldn't show any pain, sorrow or sadness...
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Very Scary for the time.
26 April 2004
Greetings...

I too saw this when it opened back in '68 at a drive in! Only it was somewhat before High School for me! I was already a veteran Saturday afternoon Horror movie fan and this was the most scary movie I had ever seen! I had nightmares for weeks...

The Jungle drums, the dark night scenes, My father in the front seat laughing and jearing - me hiding in the back seat, unable to tear my eyes off the screen! My sister was there - But she never saw the movie! She hid under the blanket the whole movie, until the second feature started - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

I had an amazing memory back then, and I remember that the next night, My friends and I went out into the woods, and bult a camp fire, where I recounted every scene of the movie, every line, described all the horror and all the action... They were as scared as I was, and they never saw the movie!
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Timeline (2003)
3/10
A hilarious comedy of liberal morons lost in time!
22 April 2004
Greetings...

TimeLine is a liberal romp of the worst kind, celebrating the modern stupidity of the educated morons that travel back in time to 1357 France. Their first incredibly Liberaly Educated decision is to take back a group of characters consisting of Scottsmen and Frenchmen to an English 100 years war encampment in 14th century France. We are supposed to believe that these supposedly educated idiots simply forgot in the heat of their foaming at the mouth emotionalism that in 1357, England was at war with both Scotland and France...

Naturally 3 of their party are killed within minutes of their arrival! The English in 1357 apparently DIDN'T forget! They are then predictably taken captive and the emotionalism and modern stupidity takes over from there. As the movie progresses these modern day murderers start their romping and stomping mass murder spree, delighting in their supposed superiority as they all get a taste of 14th century blood. Indescrimantly murdering anyone in the past who happens to get in their way. This of course has NO apparent effect on the timeline, and naturaly these self rightious young politically correct tree huggers are drooling and foaming with rampant emotionalism at ever turn. Not once during the whole movie does anyone ever simply calm down and carefully think intelligently.

The acting is 3rd rate - the costumes are all bright and clean, as if everything has just come out of the laundry, and the entire movie is carefully crafted to be completely predictable at every turn, so as not to surprise any young communists who might get upset at the non-stop violence and gore.

It is absolute liberal propaganda pablum for the Hep-C Generation. You'll love it so long as you didn't actually pay for it! This movie has Buyers Remorse written all over it!
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Wizards (1977)
A generational experience.
22 April 2004
Greetings...

Wizards is a statement that probably cannot be understood by the Gothic Post Modern Fallen down a stairwell with an open tackle box crowd. To truly understand it, you had to live through the horror of Duck and Cover, Air raid sirens, the summer of love, and Woodstock...

It's a hippy fantasy grown up and feeling the pain of having to finaly accept the world and do something about it, forever leaving your childish innocence behind and taking responcibility for something other than simply, yourself.

This movie was an important milestone now long forgotten by many, but revived easily. It has MANY imbedded unforgettable lessons that we Flower Children generation had to learn, and by 1977 many of us were on that road. Wizards was a dunking in Icewater, a wake up call. A shocking reminder that even in a fantasy world of magic - Ultimate power can be defeated with a little showmanship and a 9mm...
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