If the puppy-torturing, sexually frustrated kid from your 9th-grade class who used to draw pictures of his female classmates and teachers being murdered in various ways somehow grew up to produce or direct movies, this would be the result. "Santa's Slay" is billed on Spike TV as a "horror-comedy" which is their way of warning you that it will be neither scary nor funny. And sure enough, it fails to be anything at all redeeming.
I not only stopped watching long before it finished-ignoring the sinister urge to keep looking at this twisted wreck of a movie- but I actually felt a twinge of deep sorrow that the human race could produce a movie like this, and some people would actually like it. (Granted-mostly drunken, jobless potential rapists who live in their parents' basements, but people, nonetheless.)
The fact that "Santa's Slay" (even the title is a lame pun) doesn't "take itself seriously" doesn't make it clever. This movie knows it sucks. It only hopes that if it pretends not to care that it sucks, you won't care either. The acting is horrible, as you'd expect. The premise itself isn't horrible, but that means nothing if the movie itself is absolute garbage.
There is nothing and no one to care about in this film. It's pure nihilist, pointless hatred. This movie hates everyone- Christians, young people, old people, women, children, even itself. The opening sequence presents an unpleasant, materialistic family (shame on you, James Caan!) then expects the audience to take pleasure in watching Santa Clause barge in and murder them in gruesome ways (burning one girl's hair off down to her charred red scalp, then dunking her in eggnog), while happy Christmas music plays. Get the joke? The music is happy, but UNHAPPY things are happening! Oh, the irony!
Listen, crappy movie-director: just because people are unpleasant doesn't mean we want to watch them brutally murdered in supposedly amusing and corny ways. Well, maybe you do, but you probably used to torture puppies.
"Santa's Slay" is actually worse than "Manos: the Hands of Fate" if only because "Manos" didn't have the luxury of a big budget and some name actors. Not only a waste of time- a waste of life.
I not only stopped watching long before it finished-ignoring the sinister urge to keep looking at this twisted wreck of a movie- but I actually felt a twinge of deep sorrow that the human race could produce a movie like this, and some people would actually like it. (Granted-mostly drunken, jobless potential rapists who live in their parents' basements, but people, nonetheless.)
The fact that "Santa's Slay" (even the title is a lame pun) doesn't "take itself seriously" doesn't make it clever. This movie knows it sucks. It only hopes that if it pretends not to care that it sucks, you won't care either. The acting is horrible, as you'd expect. The premise itself isn't horrible, but that means nothing if the movie itself is absolute garbage.
There is nothing and no one to care about in this film. It's pure nihilist, pointless hatred. This movie hates everyone- Christians, young people, old people, women, children, even itself. The opening sequence presents an unpleasant, materialistic family (shame on you, James Caan!) then expects the audience to take pleasure in watching Santa Clause barge in and murder them in gruesome ways (burning one girl's hair off down to her charred red scalp, then dunking her in eggnog), while happy Christmas music plays. Get the joke? The music is happy, but UNHAPPY things are happening! Oh, the irony!
Listen, crappy movie-director: just because people are unpleasant doesn't mean we want to watch them brutally murdered in supposedly amusing and corny ways. Well, maybe you do, but you probably used to torture puppies.
"Santa's Slay" is actually worse than "Manos: the Hands of Fate" if only because "Manos" didn't have the luxury of a big budget and some name actors. Not only a waste of time- a waste of life.
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