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CadWalliter
Reviews
House of 9 (2005)
This movie is so bad, it is physically painful
The only reason I gave this movie a "1" is because zero is not available. This movie sucked so hard, I think I died a little inside when I watched it. It is awful and idiotic.
The ridiculous and unrealistic behavior of the characters- ALL OF THEM- will have you cussing and throwing stuff at the TV. There is absolutely no character development, yet the movie tries (and fails) to draw on the characters' backgrounds, for supposed 'reasons' as to why they behave the way they do. Not that it matters, because you will despise all but one of them anyway- and the one you don't hate, you'll be indifferent to.
An example of the moronic behavior (SPOILER!): one of the characters murders another, by beating him in the head with a pipe. Yet the other characters do nothing. They just stand there watching! And, they also completely ignore the murderer after he is done killing the guy, like nothing happened. Yet when the murderer himself ends up dead, they are suddenly out for blood, screaming and calling for the guy they think did it to be killed. Yeah, that makes so much sense.
The guys who wrote and directed this should be blacklisted and banned from having anything to do with movies for the rest of their lives. They shouldn't even be allowed in the theatre as spectators, lest their overwhelming FAIL infect some innocent movie.
Seriously, run from this movie. Run far and fast. And if you ever see the writer, director, or any of the actors in person, please tell them I hate them very much and want my 90 minutes back.
The Family Stone (2005)
This movie fails at everything it tries to do
I would give it a zero out of ten if I could. This movie fails as a comedy, as a drama, as everything. The characters are so cliché and hackneyed, it is unbelievable. There seem to be about twenty of them (the characters), and throughout the movie they meet, fall in and out of love, fight, whine, act ridiculous and erratic, wallow in self-pity, and are generally just irritating. Through most of the movie I was saying to myself, "who ACTS like that?" Most of the characters are so unlikeable that their behaviour makes it impossible to care at all about what happens to them.
There hardly seems to be a coherent plot, and what there is of one is a waste of time.
Of course, everything turns out super-duper okay in the end. I literally, physically rolled my eyes at the bus scene, it is so cliché. And the very ending is supposed to be bittersweet, but it is just way too predictable.
Pass this movie by if you value your time.
Blue Car (2002)
Not Impressed
(Note to readers: there are definitely spoilers here!)
This movie seems to have gotten high marks from viewers, but it didn't strike me as being praiseworthy. Some of my issues with the film: it was melodramatic yet dull, mostly pointless, and some of the situations are just ridiculous (such as Lily's death- I doubt they generally leave windows open- or even easily accessible- on the Psych Ward! I also doubt they leave suicidal children unsupervised).
My main complaint is that the characters' behavior is often bizarre. Their motivations aren't very well fleshed-out, leaving the viewer (at least this viewer) wondering, "who the heck acts like that??". That combined with the very slow pace made me more irritated with the characters than sympathetic. Agnes Bruckner, however, is quite a talented and lovely actress and made Meg likable if nothing else.
All in all I give this movie a four- it's just OK. Not good, not bad, but OK. I'd take John Hughes over Blue Car any day- at least his movies keep me awake!