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The Beyond (2017)
what happens when a visual effects guy directs a movie
Great effects, horrible plot and acting. Lead scientist sounded like a valley girl, couldn't take her seriously, expected to hear something trite and sciency, followed by "weeeelll, like, you know..." oh, and don't get me started on the open borders undertones. The tagline was "To find our place in the universe, we must venture beyond our boundaries." Thank god I didn't venture into a movie theater to see this.
The Purge (2013)
A Preachy "Panic Room"
I came into this movie knowing two things: the plot was original/intriguing and Ethan Hawke did a good job with Gattaca (another low budget sci-fi) in 1997. Unfortunately, James DeMonaco is no Andrew Niccol, and The Purge was a tremendous waste of potential.
The setting is the not-too-distant future, in an affluent, Stepford- style neighborhood. Following what we assume to be a second American revolution, there is an annual "Purge" that allows people to commit all manner of crimes as long as it is not against the highest ranking government officials and as long as it is using weapons below a certain grade (i.e. you can't nuke the White House and get away with it). The effects have been dramatically lower crime and unemployment rates since the dredges of society are being removed from an increasingly efficient system.
From the beginning, it is the character development that limited this movie's delivery. The protagonist, Ethan Hawke's character, sells security systems for a living, has a quiet wife, a loner son, and a hormonal teenage daughter. These pieces scream typecasting, so you can't really blame the formulaic acting since the actors did exactly what the script told them to do. From the beginning, you know that the wife will have to challenge her husband on a moral issue (in order to exert her female independence), the son will have some profound affect on everyone (because all sociopaths are secretly geniuses), and the girl will be responsible for something going wrong (because she's an irresponsible teenager).
Besides the predictable character development, we're also stuck hearing all these mannequins preach to us about social equality as if we, the viewers, really believed genocide was a good idea. The second you see an African-American male appear you suspect immediately he'll end up saving the world, because.. well, you know.. he's supposed to do that in this kind of movie. Even so, you can't be sure because there are a couple of plot twists that keep you wondering more than just how long the movie is.
The movie isn't only frustrating because of its failed potential, but also because the plot development relies on the stupidity of its characters. The father is pretty careless about his security system on the only night of the year when murder is legal, the son makes several dumb mistakes that make you want to climb into the screen and hit him, and the daughter, of course, lives up to her potential as a trouble- making teenage trollop. All in all, it's a worst case series of events that occur on the most dangerous night of the year in a part of town that is never subjected to Purge-related activity.
It gets 4 stars for the originality of the plot, the use of a moderately talented and relative unknown actor for the lead bad guy, and killing off a main character.
The Story of Luke (2012)
Swing for the fence, hit a single
Films that tackle difficult subject matter, particularly mental or psychological issues, require a near-flawless performance from the leading role, and lackluster talent and delivery can kill these genres before they even hit the production room.
This movie is a prime example. Luke, our protagonist, possesses all the characteristics one might expect from a young autistic man living with his grandparents: he is neurotic, obsessive, doesn't like to be crowded (physically or in conversation), committed to ritual, etc. Unfortunately, viewers have been spoiled watching Dustin Hoffman and Sean Penn deliver the same character, but with incomparable form, and when a C-list actor takes the reins of a role like this, he better have the supporting cast, script, and director to back it all up. None of that was present.
The protagonist is quickly thrown to the wolves after he is forced out of the comfortable home he has known his whole life. Cary Elwes plays his uncle, but he struggles through the easiest role a 40-something can play: the typified stay-at-work dad who has grown apart from his plastic-faced-bitch-of-a-wife. As Luke is forced into a new living situation with his forgotten aunt and cousins, viewers sense the overplayed hostility toward Luke, which is clearly a result of the writers establishing early friction in order to execute the feel-good turnaround later. Simple apathy would have sufficed.
If that weren't contrived enough, the casting team brought in Seth Green to try and salvage Luke's scenes outside the home. As Luke's socially incapable temp manager, Green is clearly a much more experienced actor and is worth a few laughs. Still, as the plot develops he turns from Luke's superior to Luke's disciple, in a way, and considering the gap in acting talent, this plot strategy doesn't hold much water. Moreover, Green basically plays the same role he always does - a spoiled, red- head, loud-mouthed brat and self-possessed computer nerd. An actor better be talented if he's going to play the same role for two decades.
All in all, the acting keeps the viewer thinking to himself, "Wait a minute, people don't behave like this," and in the end it was probably the fault of the writers, as well as the director for letting it slide. There were few cinematographic tricks to make the film "artistic," so we're left with something trying to be autisitic. As too many films have shown us, doing autism is difficult, and when you fail, you fail hard.
The film gets 4 stars for tackling important subject matter and finishing with a positive note that viewers probably weren't expecting. However, 96 minutes can be better spent watching or doing something else.
High Fidelity (2000)
Relationships + Music + TopFive Lists + The 90s = My #1 Favorite Movie of All Time
The fact that this is my favorite movie (at least since 2007) and I still gave it a 8 out of 10 speaks mainly to my acknowledgment that the movie lacks some critical elements that make a "Classic Movie." However, for the sheer scope and ubiquity of the subject matter tackled in High Fidelity, I rank it #1 in my All-time favorite movies category.
First off, it approaches relationships from the perspective of any emotionally confused, disenfranchised, 20something male, making it a rare gem for that viewing demographic. The opening sequence launches directly into this motif, as Rob's girlfriend (Laura) is packing her things to leave as he primes us for the main theme of the movie: tracing his relationships with women to the present day in an attempt to uncover a solution to his broken love life. His revelations throughout the narrative reflect the selfishness inherent in his age, and by the time he comes to an emotional nirvana at the end, you almost want him to suffer a lonely life (but not in a sequel). Alas, this story is happier than reality would allow him to be.
The musical flavor of the narrative is central in the same way that the computer theme was central in the Tron movies. Music saturates this movie. Rob (John Cusack) is a music lover running a record store in the heart of Chicago, which gave us modern Jazz and House. Although technically a 90s genre film, the script (which comes from the eponymous British novel) references music from all eras of musicology, and one scene in particular, in which Rob and his store crew (Jack Black and Todd Louiso) are referred to as "music snobs," resonates beyond the film's own yearbook to a future that includes the "indie kid" and "hipster" generation.
Finally, two aspects of this movie appealed to me in particular, and launched the movie into my #1 spot: the art of the Top Five list and the cult of the 90s. I love Top Five lists, and if you ever have a hard time small-talking someone, just ask them to name their Top Five of anything. Most people will say they like too much stuff to rank any of it, but that's malarkey because once you say your Top Five they'll argue with at least one of your choices, meaning they do have the capacity for ranking things. This movie starts with a Top Five list, which is basically how Rob outlines the order in which he will investigate his previous love interests: the Top Five Worst Breakups in His Life. As for the importance of the 90s setting, let me just clarify by saying that the 1990s are in my Top Five favorite decades list. Musically, it may be #1.
The shortcomings that dropped it a couple of spots (I never give movies a 10) are nitpicky, but evident enough to limit the movie's rewatchability. One such shortcoming is the seemingly free-wheeling script given to Jack Black. Some of the things he says and does appear, well, too Jack Blackish for the movie I want to watch, and he wears thin early on as an obnoxious, abrasive, and fatuous character who wouldn't have many friends in real life (not that he does in the movie...). Katherine Zeta's lines are similarly contrived, as are a few other roles. Another pitfall is the pointless plot detour at the end of the movie when Rob is deciding about his long-term life with Laura and encounters an informed local music journalist. Sparks fly, and just as we think the movie could get 20 minutes longer, it doesn't.
Although there are enough problems with this movie to bring it down a notch or two, it does include my favorite movie elements all in one feature presentation: it's funny, it approaches love from the guy's perspective, it's musically themed, it includes Top Five lists, it's set in the 90s, and it takes place somewhere other than New York or California.
I highly recommend seeing (and owning) this movie if you like at least two of those elements.
Shakes the Clown (1991)
Underrated Cast, Underachieving Script...I Mean, It's An Alcoholic Clown Movie So....
I downloaded this movie years after putting it on my watchlist because I had seen it mentioned in one of those Men's Journal "100 Movies Every Guy Should See" lists. In the end, its presence on a list like that might be appropriate, but don't reshuffle your own watchlist to make room for it.
The cast is actually terrific. Bobcat Goldthwait in a forgettable lead role still filled the role nicely, and with such a star-studded supporting crew, the cast is actually the most memorable thing about this movie. Adam Sandler and Blake Clark have major roles throughout, which was no doubt a fertile time for the two to bounce ideas off one another, thus sparking a screen relationship that would help fuel Sandler's meteoric rise through 1990s comedy. Kathy Griffin is the feminist friend of the lead actress, Julie Brown, who later played Ms. Stoeger in Clueless. Even Robin Williams made a cameo appearance as a catty mime instructor, surely offering at least a few laughs with his pre-GWH clown-like demeanor.
Unfortunately, this semi-Allstar cast was paired with terrible writers. Sure, there is the occasional line or two that elicit laughs from even the most lifeless of cynics, but the viewer can't help but follow a very contrived script throughout the movie, and only the body language of the actors themselves seems to save the screenplay from itself.
Overall, simply by recognizing the significance of the cast, all together as early as 1991, is enough to take from this movie what it has to offer most. I can't recommend making time for it, but if someone brings it over and you're in an agreeable mood, put it in and enjoy a lot of hidden humor (background gags and subtle one-liners) in this alcoholic cult-classic.
Fist of Fear, Touch of Death (1980)
Ce n'est pas un film de bruce lee...
First things first: this is not a Bruce Lee film. The opening sequence makes it look like a brief interlude with old martial arts footage being used to maintain the interest of the viewer, when all of a sudden the viewer realizes 15 minutes later that it's not stopping. It occurs to the viewer that he/she is watching a feature presentation of some kind, though, exactly what that feature hopes to accomplish is beyond all comprehension.
The basic storyline is this: a journalist is at the "World Karate Championships" interviewing various D-list fighters and washed up athletes as to who will take on the crown of the recently deceased Bruce Lee. The movie then proceeds to take on an eerie biographic quality to it, tracking Bruce Lee's youth and development as a fighter with doctored footage that has been overdubbed to make it seem legit. The story drifts between the stories of Bruce, his family, the legacy of his grandfather, and the journalist (in the present day) narrating the climax to the fight at the end of the day to determine the new grand champion.
Don't bother watching it. The fight was terrible, the overdubbing is cruelly plagiaristic, and the real-time acting is on par with the adult film industry gaining popularity at the time.
The Mapmaker (2007)
Like flipping the pages of a picture book with someone narrating it...
After googling "The Mapmaker" just to see what came up, this was one of the first results. After reading the synopsis, I decided to watch it since I generally like things about suicide and maps. I was unimpressed, mainly because we don't see the suicide happen and there was no mapmaking.
I generally like all-things-UK as well, and the Scottish narrator along with a pretty good score held my attention throughout the first few minutes. Unfortunately, once the intro was over, the narrator dove into the protagonist, a predictable female social outlier, replete with second-hand brand name wear and too much eye shadow. We've seen this before - Boring! Of course, had she been a good actress I'd be willing to feed into this character development, but the fact that the film was shot frame-by-frame and looks like someone flipping the pages of a picture book, we have no way of knowing how good of an actress she actually is.
This wasn't a film, it was a pseudo-artistic PowerPoint presentation.
City by the Sea (2002)
23rd Worst Movie I've Ever Seen
This film is just awful. The only redeeming quality this film possesses is that they cast Eliza Dushku.
That's it, folks. The people saying that it was good have an optimism complex larger than John Goodman. From Frances McDormand's awkward body language (and face touching) to Bob DeNiro's stilted play-up of father/son tensions to John Forsythe's contrived bad guy persona, this movie is downright terrible. I was surprised to learn it was made in 2002, since the score made it sound like it was from the mid-90s.
And the fact that Eliza Dushku is hot doesn't really matter since she disappears 3/4 of the way through the movie after telling Bobby DeNiro that she is going back to using again. This is after the audience got no indication that she was having any trouble, and even witnessed her tell James Franco's character to stay clean earlier on.
The film just tries way too hard to be dark. The drug use is visually brief, but referenced throughout. The setting is good (Long Beach, NY), but there's very little past-to-present context besides a few comments by the cast. The father/son element is meant to be two-fold, with DeNiro playing a guy battling his own father and his own son's fates, but by the end of the movie you can tell the writers did not have fun playing with that material.
If I could give it negative stars, I would.