Change Your Image
gumbico
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Midnight Mass (2021)
Slow and predictable, worst of all - NOT SCARY
This was such a disappointment, I don't know where to begin. After the perfect retelling of Hill House, I expected more. This is a slow burn on religion and vampires. I strongly recommend King's The Mist to see how scary religious zealots can be, that'll take less than 2 hours. This however, was a waste of time.
Great acting and storytelling. Just don't expect to be scared, which is what I was expecting.
Time Trap (2017)
Very interesting sci-fi, worth a watch for time travel fans.
For those that enjoyed Man From Earth (2007) where the story and acting carries the movie, Time Trap should be a treat. Even though it is low budget with so-so special effects, it never really got in the way of the story. The story itself is fairly straight forward for a time travel movie, there's a cave where time warps and it also happens to be where the fountain of youth is hidden. Start with that and imagine what can be found there and the movie does a good job with it. It sounds similar to Netflix's Dark, but not as convoluted and complex.
Definitely a fun movie to watch and to ponder over afterwards - not something to just dump from your brain after viewing.
Lore (2017)
Finally, they killed the narrator!
I thoroughly enjoyed season one, but I couldn't stand the narrator. Yes, I know this is based on his podcast, but geez man, who on Earth speaks like that? I really had to force myself to finish that season because I really couldn't tolerate his annoying voice. So I am more than happy to say that Amazon did the right thing in season 2 by ditching his voice altogether! The content of the shows are fascinating and disturbing. Now if they could redo season 1 and cut the narrator, this show would be a 10.
Life (2017)
What Gravity should've been
For any fans of Tess Gerritsen's book, Gravity, who were disappointed by the actual film of the same name, look no further! This is the closest we will ever get to seeing any semblance of that great book on screen. Sure, the film Gravity was good, it just wasn't anything like the book. Meaning, there were no killer microbes!
Plot is super simple, scientists onboard the ISS study rock/soil samples from Mars. They discover bacteria in the samples and successfully resuscitate it. This little alien then begins to cause terror to the crew and the ship.
Not sure why there's so much negativity in these reviews. It's a basic sci-fi thriller grounded in the present. There's no evil alien out to kill mankind or interstellar travel, it's just about survival. Is a bird evil for eating a worm? Are humans evil for eating any sort of meat? Is a cow evil for eating living plants?
Give me a break! Go watch this and enjoy.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
A treat for horror fans!
I had to give this a 10 to counter balance all the 1-4 stars floating around. Still, it's easily an 8 in my book.
Finding a good horror movie these days is tough, almost as hard as trying to find a good sci-fi flick. But if you enjoy the Insidious and Conjuring series, this one is perfect. First off, it's a horror movie, so unrealistic things are going to happen. But if the characters behave in an "average joe" sort of way to these extreme situations, the movie works. And it works here in spades. Second, the pacing is spot on. From beginning to end, something is happening to move the story along.
The story behind the girl's body is slowly revealed over time in bits and pieces. And as the truth comes out, the characters behave accordingly. It's that simple and this makes for a great horror movie.
Busanhaeng (2016)
Way overrated zombie flick with stupid characters
'm a zombie movie fan, all the way back to the original. I even love the fast hoarding ones of today. So when I heard about this Train to Busan one and saw the high ratings, I rushed to watch it. And what a joke!
I'm not going to recount the plot as they're pretty much all the same with apocalyptic zombie movies. What makes them different are the characters and how they act in such situations. This move, the characters are all just spineless morons. Imagine all the dumb teenagers from any horror movie that repeatedly do stupid, unrealistic things over and over and over until they all get picked off one bye one. Now transplant them into a bunch of teenagers, adults, and senior citizens and stick them all into a train. Yes, this is a zombie movie, so I can suspend reality for a bit, but c'mon! At least have somewhat sensible people. The repeat offenders of bad choices are all over this movie.
Watching this was annoying and frustrating. Was it scary ever? Not at all, just a bunch of people with painted on veins and bad hair. We've all seen better ones in Dawn of the Dead and the 28 Days/Weeks ones. Did I care about any of the characters surviving? No, if they keep doing dumb things then they sure as hell deserve to die.
Don't believe the hype, this movie is complete pass for horror fans.
Kill List (2011)
got questions? don't expect any answers here.
Other reviews have already covered this, but I cannot stress how true they were. Yes, the movie is okay, but what completely destroys it is the simple fact that nothing, I mean nothing is cleared up by the end of the movie. About 4 or so major plot points are brought up and none of them are developed. A total waste of time.
I'm not talking about misinterpretation or "missing" the meaning here, there is nothing to miss because the movie doesn't even try to explain anything. For a prime example of how not to tell a story, reference this movie. This isn't a joke where the punch line falls flat, it's a joke without a punch line, period!
Zui ai (2011)
What's left when you have nothing left?
Plot: Story surrounds two people that find each other after their own lives fall apart when they are diagnosed with AIDS. Forced to live outside the village, they and others like them are discriminated against by their own neighbors and loved ones. In this setting, a man and a woman decide to make use of what time they have left.
Review: Not much to say here really, the story is very slow and the characters aren't that likable. But the only saving grace of this movie was the bond that grew between the two main characters. In the end, I didn't like them any more than I did earlier, but their love story was heartfelt and true.
Les 7 jours du talion (2010)
Waste of time
Not sure what the heck these other reviews are raving about. Most pathetic revenge flick ever. Watching a kid try to fry an ant with a magnifying glass is more disturbing than this movie. The father spends more time destroying furniture and yapping on the phone than exacting any sort of revenge on the pedophile. I kept waiting and waiting for the action to start, but it never started! Next thing I knew, the movie was over.
I was hoping for something along the lines of Man On Fire, but this was a snore fest. It was not disturbing and nor was it realistic at all. The summary of the movie is this in a nutshell, "A father captures his daughter's killer/rapist and then doesn't know what to do next." Doesn't sound like a great revenge flick, and if I had known this from the beginning, I wouldn't have wasted my time.
À l'intérieur (2007)
Total waste of time
I was really looking forward to watching this and getting my gore fix for the day. And this movie did deliver on the gore, but it was so dumb that I spent more time wondering why the characters did what they did instead of appreciating the fun slaughter.
There are no teenagers in this movie, but it might as well have been filled with them. One after one the characters that pop up, from coworkers, relatives, law enforcement, they all basically just show up in the movie to be fodder. This movie is devoid of any common sense. Even the main character does one stupid thing after another. Especially in the end, it's so blatantly dumb that it's mindblowing. Lets see, I have a choice between a hand cannon and a chopstick, hmmm...which one should I use to defend myself with? At least the teen slasher flicks have some eye candy to counter balance the stupid characters and the paths to their demise. This movie had none of those, just annoyingly dumb adult characters.
House (2008)
Not a horror movie
I decided to watch this after seeing the IMDb rating of 7.3. What a mistake that was! Basically two couples end up stranded in a bed and breakfast type house and spend the whole movie trying to figure their way out. Plain and simple, but there isn't anything scary about it. Nothing exciting or fun either.
I appreciate horror and the fact that gore isn't a requirement, take "The Others" for example. No need for nudity or blood or limbs, but that movie still managed to freak me out at times. Or a low budget horror like "Dead End". Equally good story and great acting. House has none of these. Instead, it throws in tons of stupidity. For example, the classic "struggle with an assailant, knock them down but run away while leaving the weapon on the ground next to the enemy" can be found here. This was basically "Prom Night" minus the teens and fancy hotel.
Total garbage...
Darkness (2002)
This was decent until....
Alrighty, this is your standard haunted house/satanic cult movie. There's nothing to be scared of in this movie other than the sudden increases in volume and other tricks. Hell, the intro was the most exciting part for me.
Anyways, one thing in this movie just completely ruined it for me. The most sane character (the daughter) does something that makes completely no sense. In a movie with an ill father, a mother in denial, and a weird kid, the daughter is the only one with a good head on her shoulders.
SPOILERS----> But towards the latter half of the movie after the father is taken away in an ambulance to the hospital and the mother and son go as well, the friggin daughter decides to stay at the house "because she HAS something she has to do." ???? At that point, I went bonkers! I'm like, okay, your lil brother tells you he sees dead kids in his bedroom, the architect of your house tells you that it was built for a satanic cult and that 7 kids were missing/murdered and your dad starts freaking out, and your dumb ass wants to stay in that house all by yourself!?!?!? WTH? The worst part is, she doesn't do ANYTHING while she's there. You would think she had something important to tend to but all she does is pick up a box of junk from under the stairs and then falls asleep. Only to be woken up by a freaky phone call. And she STILL doesn't leave the house. "We're watching you bitch!" My god, if a kids voice says that to me over the phone when I know there's dead kids around, I wouldn't be standing there. This just made no sense at all. During the whole movie she kept telling her mom to leave the house and not return. Yet, there she is.....
<------END SPOILERS
So if you can put up with a movie where the lead characters knows whats wrong and tells everyone about it, but doesn't take her own advice, then check this out. For the rest of the population, I suggest you stay away from this. I was so annoyed after watching this movie, you would've thought that I was sitting in a theater with some kid in the back kicking my seat and people yapping all around me. But no, there's no one to blame other than this ridiculous movie.
The Notebook (2004)
I just don't get it....
Okay, first off, I didn't much care for this film. My significant other wanted to see it so I had to go. Now, I have no problems with romantic movies, I think Serendipity and Sweet Home Alabama were great movies. But this Notebook fluff? I got bored from the beginning while they were on their first date. Lying in the middle of the road? WTH? "Me and my dad used to lay here and watch the lights." I'm thinking, the girl should say "What the hell is wrong with your family?" But anyways....
I just don't get how people are claiming how great this movie was when the story was just so...ummm...dumb?
SPOILERS***
And the letters, all 365 of em. So Allie is so hung up on Noah but she never tries to check the mail once out of a whole year??? Aw cmon!! What a load of crap. And towards the end, Allie's mom drives her out and tells her daughter about the secret love she had/has. At this point, I'm thinking, why is she doing that?? Does she have regrets? All she says is that she loved/loves this bumpkin yet she still truly loves Allie's father. So this is the same lady that pulled her daughter away and hid letters for a year? Is she telling her daughter to go with Noah or not?? And if she is, shouldn't she had done that after she saw 365 letters??? That must mean something if a guy writes your daughter 365 letters.
FINALLY, the whole way the story was told from the nursing home and the "Notebook." This will sound like 50 First Dates, but here it goes. Instead of reading that whole damn book to her over and over just to have his wife come back for "minutes", he shoulda just made a video tape, showing who he is and who she is and who their kids are. Bam, that would straighten her up in 15 minutes.