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Risen (2021)
In the right hands, this could have been an interesting story...
But it wasn't in the right hands. At all.
The lead actress has all the range of a, a.. nope; nothing is springing to mind with such comparably little range - maybe a peanut with a wig on it? I feel like the peanut would've given us a little more to be honest.
The story was everywhere, trying to give you a background while too pressed for time to dive deep into any one real area so you are just left with a bunch of abstract and obscure information that ultimately ends up being pointless.
I'll call this a spoiler but I'm on the fence about whether it truly is or not, but it needs to be said: I don't know how things work in sunny Australia, but here, in *actual* North America when you spend 2/3 of a movie with a shrinking violet who zones out and flinches in the presence of a father who "is lonely" and "misses her", has a drinking problem, is in therapy and randomly cut to flashbacks of her as a child in a car with her father telling her he's taking her to a special secret place that even mommy "can't know about" you're mind doesn't go to government coverups and aliens.
Way to go director, you made the audience think her dad was a pedophile for most of the movie.
Like I said, in the right hands, this could have been a really interesting story.
Moonfall (2022)
I've seen better, I've seen worse...
I have a pretty low bar when it comes to sci-fi catastrophe movies - a beginning, an end, and a discernible plot; toss a couple of decent special effects in there and I'll go get the popcorn.
Maybe my lack of disappointment comes from going in and not expecting much, maybe it comes on the heels of watching some genuinely terrible movies that make this one seem almost Oscar-worthy by comparison (looking at you Lockdown:2025) but I didn't think this was all that bad.
If you want onion-like layers and a mind-blowing plot, Moonfall wont tick those boxes; if you want to kill a couple hours while eating a snack and being mildly entertained, that's what you will get.
Lockdown 2025 (2021)
It was like getting Rick-rolled - but without the fun 80s pop.
It's an 88 minute commercial to let Jehovah Witnesses in your house. And if you don't, The Lord will... poison all the barbeque? Wait, what? Your wife will hate you and have another mans baby, your daughter will get knocked up AND your eldest son will sleep late and not clean the garage. You will also be cursed with the same shooting skill as a thumbless blind man. Yes, and you will shoot your family because you can aim the gun everywhere except at the guy, the size of a linebacker, standing directly in front of you. You will win the lottery and than you will die.
...or you can let them in. Do it for the barbeque!
If you took all the confusion David Lynch , the lengthiness Peter Jackson, Alanis Morrissette's sense of irony and rolled that up with the gripping intensity of a burp - you'd still have a movie 100 times better than this POS.
Fugget About It (2012)
A great hidden gem from Canada
I cant believe how low the ratings are, moved my 8 to a 10 to try and help counter the harsher reviews it does not deserve... and to the reviewer asking what "Canada did to us to deserve this?" - it's a Canadian show; we are a people who lean heavily on self-deprecating humor.
Funnier than American Dad, as "offensive" as All In The Family - Fugget About It is exactly what it promises to be: a spin on a classic fish-out-of-water story. Dust it off and check it out if you have the chance!
Good on Paper (2021)
Not sure why it's rated so low
It's good; it's a bit of a dark tone I admit, but filled with lots of humor and not told in a threatening way. Iliza and Margaret make a great duo, both incredibly funny women who make this anti-Hallmark movie a fun watch.
Between Worlds (2018)
Yeah.
Teenage daughter got excited because she grew up watching the 2010 Sorcerer's Apprentice , so when she saw this... movie? For only a dollar on Cineplex Store it was a shoe-in for family night.
Boy did that get awkward fast.