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Reviews
Pinocchio (2022)
Close but no cigars (literally)
As a huge fan of the classic cartoon version we all know and love, I'm too disappointed in this move to actually have the energy to fully ellaborage on my criticism.
While I applaud Disney for attempting to pay homage to the classic in a live action format, it sadly falls by the way side in under delivering at the most basic core, which is the writing.
Casting and creative choices aside, it all boils down to this: if you're presenting this adaptation based on the framework that is the Disney classic feature film, how can you possibly get to the end of the movie and just fail miserably in not giving the audience what they want to see, which is Pinocchio getting his wish and becoming a real boy? I'm agast at this notion. It just seems inconceivable to me. It is only the very thing you kept repeating all movie long.
Added to the "woke" mentality embued, making social criticisms here and there, even snarky in-jokes about Hollywood, all could be relatively forgiven if the movie came to the end and the writing just had delivered.
And sadly, it has not.
It goes to show that you could have all the budget in the world, all the production value in the world, amazing, elite and classy actors helping steer the ship, a world renowned director, if you don't deliver, you've got nothing.
And that's what I took away from this: nothing. This is not what a movie should make me feel like.
Terribly disappointing.
Geostorm (2017)
Predictable, but not horrible
If I had decided to watch this movie solely based on critic and user reviews, I wouldn't have given it the time of day. But opinions are like... Well, you know. And everybody has one.
This honestly isn't as bad as a lot of people make it out to be. The premise is basic and simple to understand, the storytelling is solid (the way hundreds of other movies have done it), the visual effects aren't that many - I think most of them are in the trailer - but they're timely and done right, and go as far as getting a reaction. (Oh, my lord! I didn't know that was a thing!...)
The editing though, can be nasty sometimes. The climax of a scene can abruptly end and immediately cut to its resolution and that's a little off putting if you're slightly aware how editing works.
Was there enough meat for the actors to sink their teeth into? Probably not. But that's just the nature of blockbusters in general, and this is no exception. It's all about the premise and the drama. And to be fair, even that is well achieved to the point where you think the ending is pretty much certain, until it isn't.
And most of all, which I think is the overarching theme that few people seem to be talking about, is that it tackles a real life problem we all face and what its most dire consequences can be in the most extreme circumstances, even without the sci-fi portion of it. I'm guessing a lot of people reacted poorly to that alone, because honestly, looking in the mirror in the matter of climate change, sucks.
But objectively, as storytelling and move making goes, the movie delivers a solid, balls to the wall, piece of narrative and action, which is to be praised, not criticized.
Holmes & Watson (2018)
It's a satire. Grow up.
People don't seem to be tolerant of anything these days, especially of humor. This is the right laugh-out-loud, so-ridiculous-it's-gotta-be-on purpose, make-your-jaw-drop, damn near perfect antidote to the heavy, politically-laden, hysterical-about-anything society we live in these days.
It's a humourous take at one of the most iconic fictional characters ever created, who has not only found a place in popular culture for the past 100 years but also weaved itself in popular slang. (Yeah, no s***, Sherlock.)
I read a lot of 1-Star reviews with people whining and complaining that they left in the middle of the movie, or they thought it was absurd... Well, that's the point. This movie wasn't made to take Arthur Conan Doyle's legacy seriously. It doesn't even take itself seriously with an out-of-the-blue musical piece that pops out of nowhere. And I stress: that's the point.
I've seen a couple of bombs with Will Ferrell that were hard to watch. This isn't one, by any means. "Holmes & Watson" miraculously manages to be a witty, at times beautifully-written piece of comedy with an amazing cast, as evident by the amazing John C. Reily ("Magnolia"), Rebecca Hall ("Transcendent", "Vicky Cristina Barcelona") and even Ralph Fiennes, who is brilliant as Lord Voldemort in the "Harry Potter" saga.
And the reason I mention the audience when I bring up the reviews on this site is because a lot of it is American and a lot of the humor in this British-set comedy is geared towards Americans. And in 2019, America couldn't be more divided in this Trump-era. So I would imagine it's no surprise when a lot of Trump supporters watch this movie and have to listen to jokes about the kind of President they have in office right now: a politically incompetent showman who is also a tyrant and a buffoon. I imagine this deep dig doesn't go over well with a lot of the hardcore pro-Trump audience. Or maybe they don't like the red "Make England Great Again" fez which mocks the signature red Trump cap. I would go as far as as saying that what really strikes a nerve is Dr. Grace Hart's (Rebecca Hall) line about women receiving shock treatments to cure feminine hysteria. Ooh, that's gotta leave a mark with feminists. Not to mention the constant "A female D-O-C-T-O-R?" remarks by the lead characters. Yeah, I would imagine that stings... in a comedy movie.
Or maybe is the reference to American's seemingly m God-given-right to own and use guns. "They're Americans. Of course they would use a gun", Sherlock says at one point.
But that's what humor is. It makes light of important topics and flips them upside down so one can think about subjects and ideas and even firm beliefs in a different way. It's meant to create an escape from reality and this movie does dances with reality but ultimately is successful at being funny in its own way.
Plus, just the crazy amount of thought that went into the lead characters' dialogue is something to behold and applaud. Of course the delivery is over the top. But the point is that Ferrell and Reilly do it SO well. To the point where I was left wanting more. Like, right now.
So in a time where most people seemingly become hysterical with just about anything, I applaud the cast and director Etan Cohen for having the gumption to make a satire with a beautiful period production design and comedic timing that will not only make you laugh but ALSO provoke your thought at the same time.
And with the British theme in mind, this European says: well done, chaps.
Walt Before Mickey (2015)
Poorly lacking
Who better than teen movie "American Pie"'s own Thomas Ian Nicholas to play one of the most celebrated, influential, and history-changing personalities of all time, the creator of Mickey Mouse himself, Walt Disney?
In a casting choice that I'm sure will baffle most, Nicholas, with his boyish good looks (or despite them) is most surely not the right choice for the role. But it's not "Walt Before Mickey's" only pitfall, even if it's the worst.
As a whole, the movie feels flat, uninspired, and at times downright depressing, bordering on awful late night soap opera drama from old days that have since been forgotten.
There's no one of particular note on the cast, the story (as often happens with biopics) feels rushed, while at times slumping away, and the final product just feels very unfinished. (The sound people in particular, it seems, couldn't have cared less edgewise.)
Which is actually sad, considering the subject matter at hand: the rise of an immensely prominent figure, not just in the United States, but across the world. There simply wouldn't have been a "Snow White", a "Cinderella", and countless other animated works of fiction that brought a whole genre to the mainstream and made Disney the household powerhouse that it is today, were it not for Walt Disney.
I checked the IMDb rating before even watching the movie, and was rather surprised. "How can it possibly be so poor, given the subject?" And alas, unfortunately it is.
So other than Tom Hanks' "Saving Mr. Banks", which deals with a more advanced stage in Walt Disney's career, I'm afraid we'll have to wait for a movie that will actually pay a worthy homage to the man himself, and will be heralded in movie history as such.
Special Correspondents (2016)
It's like a car wreck
Because as bad as it is, you can't stop watching.
The premise of the story is actually good, but acting, the secondary actors, the jokes, the plot twists are nothing short of sophomoric. It's actually so bad you can't believe you're still watching it. The whole cast probably believed they would be doing something very "The Office"- like. Nope.
Ricky Gervais may be a hilarious comedian, but a little too much of his typically British humor is in this to the point where it hampers the movie.
It's just... bad. It's "how long does this go for?" bad.
Not your finest hour, Ricky.
Les Misérables (2012)
A matter of taste
Personally, even though I like musicals and being a musician myself, I thought there was just way too much singing in this movie.
Not to knock the fantastic job the whole cast did. I know Hugh Jackman spent around 14 hours a day singing in shooting for this film, and all the main characters are just stellar at it. (Who knew Russell Crowe could sing a lick, much less do such a good job at it?)
I just have a problem in that music - and not all that linear. Some of the lyrics' structures are pretty out there, especially when several stories intertwine, you can't understand a thing - is being used as a CONSTANT vehicle to tell the story, rather than highlight key moments in the drama. For my taste, I just feel the narrative of the story gets gently swept away in all that music, as I do feel the movie would benefit so much more from more constant, traditional storytelling without all that musical weight.
But on the flip side, it is a dream cast, every actor is pitch perfect - no pun intended - in their role, the sets and wardrobe are outstanding and Tom Hooper does an amazing job is portraying the griminess of it all, when need be. (Though I could do without some of the independent-y "alternative" looking shots scattered throughout)
Absolutely no knock on the movie as a whole. Everyone does a wonderful job. For me, it's really just a matter of taste.
An easy 8 out of 10.