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Reviews
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
*sigh*
I wanted to like this movie. I did. It's a weird combination of sci fi and epic high fantasy, but... just... Ehhh.
So to start, this is a very good looking movie. Seriously, the visuals are a treat. Set designs, aliens, sci fi tech, costumes. Cut from the same cloth as movies like Guardians of the Galaxy. The premise too, is interesting, and had a lot of potential.
Everything else is, frankly, pretty dreadful. Which is a pity.
The biggest problem with this movie is, in my opinion, that the main character, Major Valerian, is just intensely unlikeable. Maybe they were going for a roguish Han Solo/Peter Quill kind of character with him, but he just came off as an entitled douchebag for the entire movie. And we're supposed to realistically believe there's a romance subplot in there with Sergeant Laureline? He continually seems to disrespect her, and she barely even seems to like him.
Seriously, the movie is named after this guy? Why?
The main plot was pretty weak. It could've had potential, but seems to be a bland rehash of tired military corruption tropes. The exposition is full of straight up infodumps. I mean, sure, they're full of pretty visuals, but they're still just infodumps. Some reveals happen far too early, spoiling the effect later on. Overall, the exposition is clumsy and badly written.
Another major plot problem is that it spent far too much time on long and needless diversions, which ultimately had no real consequence to the overall story. Which presumably were there to either cover up the weak main plot or just to add needless spectacle and pretty worldbuilding. It awkwardly danced around some character development here and there, without ever actually accomplishing any.
The thing is, this movie tries to make a few deep points about coexistence, consideration for others, and corruption in a big, multicultural society - but they all either feel awkwardly shoehorned in or they're handled terribly by the poor writing.
All the while, it fails to really build up any empathy for the characters. And it's difficult to feel invested in characters who you've been given no reason to care about. The only one who seems to have a character arc is Valerian, and that's just him going from being a douchebag to being slightly less of a douchebag.
What's most frustrating is that this movie could've been great if it had been properly executed. All the elements were there, but it just failed to deliver.
Also, hiring Rihanna as a disposable plot device is just criminal. She deserved better.
Snowpiercer (2013)
...what?
This movie was... interesting. There were some nice ideas and concepts in there, but ultimately it just made a big mess inside my head. And I'm not going to pick out plot holes because hell, just read any of the other reviews on this page. But combined, they felt a bit distracting.
The art and style is great. The whole thing is interestingly designed, and certain motifs like the big W logo come together at the ending when the main plot twist is revealed. Some of the character design may be a little goofy, but it fits with the overall tone. A lot of this movie is very visually attractive and the actors do a good job of keeping the narrative going. The choice of bilingual dialogue is an interesting one too, and not something which is used often enough in cinema, in my opinion.
The trouble, the way I see it, is that most of the tropes in this film, dystopian or otherwise, have been handled better in other films.
The population is controlled by both the top level and the bottom level being controlled in unison, leading to regular revolts by the lower class which are ultimately doomed to failure while still allowing room for the cycle to continue. That's basically the same premise as the latter two Matrix films.
A dystopian society is subdivided into a starving and oppressed lower class who live in abject poverty and a flamboyantly dressed upper class who seemingly do little else but engage in mindless hedonism. That's essentially the worldbuilding from The Hunger Games.
Brainwashing people with pseudo-religious propaganda to believe the person in charge is some kind of benevolent and merciful overlord... I can't think of an example offhand but I know I've seen that before.
I was honestly surprised when those protein blocks the lower class were eating weren't rebranded soylent green. Though I have to wonder where they got all the roaches from. Were they farming them?
All that said, a lot of good plot setups and payoffs are there in the writing. The drug is an explosive, the matches save the day twice, the uncomfortable regularity of characters losing limbs, and so on. Most of the plots and arcs are well constructed and you genuinely do feel empathy for some of the characters, making for some sad moments when they met their ends. The trouble is that the ending felt... Derailing. Pun intended. Giving it a full on Blake's 7 ending made a lot of the movie's main conflict feel a little pointless in hindsight. And why was there a polar bear on top of the mountain? They hunt seals.
Additionally the whole thing about Curtis not wanting to lose his arm as a character arc feels a little tacked on TBH. But that's probably what happens when you squeeze most of a character arc into the final act of a story. Also, dammit Chris Evans, what is it with you getting limbs stuck in machinery at the end of movies?
Overall, this movie feels more Waterworld than Fury Road, as far as dystopian stories go. It's worth watching as an entertaining and slightly larger than life action movie, as long as you don't pay too much attention to the finer details. But it certainly won't be for everyone.
Pod (2015)
Disappointing
The unfortunate thing about this movie is there are some genuinely good elements in it which were utterly wasted on a forgettable story.
The cinematography is great. Scenes are (mostly) well shot with some interesting artistic flair. The way the camera work is done for some sequences is distinct and memorable, and reminded me of Stanley Kubrick in places. The handheld camera style at tense moments uses the same trick as with found footage movies, making you feel closer to the action, and almost making you feel like a character yourself at times. It's just a pity that during the more tense action sequences, they resorted to clichés like shaky cam and inexplicably flashing lights.
The setting also has a lot of potential. A remote, isolated house by a lake, surrounded by snow, giving a real sense of isolation. Unfortunately, that feeling is completely squandered in favour of the house's dimly lit and claustrophobic interior. And then at the end when you realise that a neighbouring house is not actually very far away.
Unfortunately, all of this setup eventually gives way to a lacklustre story which seemingly makes up for a lack of substance by making nearly every scene far too drawn out. Everything goes on for just a little bit longer than it needs to and it makes the whole movie feel... tiresome.
To be honest, it felt like half the movie was a long shouting match between three dysfunctional siblings, full of ultimately inconsequential information. I found myself wondering at one point if the plot was ever going to progress beyond three people standing around yelling. It eventually did, but this whole thing amounted to very little beyond an overlong setup for the disappointingly brief section of actual horror. Which would have been more impactful if the scriptwriter had given us any reason to care about the characters.
The ending felt tacked on and contrived, thanks to a complete lack of foreshadowing or setup. Or maybe it was buried somewhere in the scene with all the shouting? It's hard to say.
Ultimately, this movie felt like a waste of time. And there wasn't even an actual pod anywhere to be seen.
Payload (2012)
Dark and dystopic
This film is about the people who the future has left behind. A towering space elevator – a lift to carry passengers and cargo directly to orbit – serves as the backdrop for a place full of crime, corruption, and violence. The juxtaposition of such a glittering accomplishment of human engineering, with a lifestyle where bribery, self sacrifice, and fighting are necessary purely to survive is particularly poignant. And even while this dystopian hell is going on, all the while there's the tantalisingly close means of escape. A way of quite literally climbing to safety.
Payload pulls no punches. It depicts a grim and depressing reality which makes you look again at the world around us and question how likely a dark and seedy future like this really is. Excellent and powerful viewing.