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Don't Breathe (2016)
This movie is ridiculously stupid
Who exactly are we supposed to sympathize with in this movie? A group of young home burglars who are so cold they would even rob a blind man, or an old blind war vet who turns out to be a kidnapper, who not only stock piles jars of his own semen, but also tries to impregnate his victims with a turkey baster because as he proudly states "I'm not a rapist". Also for experienced burglars you'd think they'd have some sort of stealth skills. Blind people are supposed to have a heightened sense of hearing and smell since they rely more heavily on them. However he can't hear these kids stomping around his yard, smashing windows, rummaging through his home for half the movie, and even firing a gun. He also can't seem to smell people standing right in front of his face, but can suddenly smell a shoe from across the room and realize there are multiple people in the house. The film was mildly entertaining, but an insult to the intelligence of the viewers. I am baffled by the high ratings it has been given.
The Omen (2006)
An equally bad remake of the 1976 original.
I've read reviews that call this remake dull and not scary. I completely agree, but the same can be said of the 1976 original. Although the book was based on the movie, I read it before watching either film and thoroughly enjoyed it. Which made this drab and uneventful film even more disappointing. I did find the more modern adaptation of the film slightly more enjoyable than the first, but both are still incredibly boring. It shouldn't even be classified as a horror film, there is nothing scary or even suspenseful about the film. Its really more of a drama. I am not an avid reader, but believe me when I say the book (even though based on the original movie) is a far better experience.
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
Suprizingly good
If you can ignore some silly, unrealistic occurrences within the movie, its actually a unique twist on a classic film. I was unprepared for a different story line than the original, and found the unexpected to be somewhat enjoyable. It certainly doesn't stack up to the original (or even the previous remake), but its a good chillin' on the sofa with popcorn movie.
It's gory, it's bloody, it offers a few laughs throughout, and the acting is half decent for a Slasher flick. Since most people will to in to this with low expectations, I think they will be pleasantly surprised.
Dahmer (2002)
Someone owes me 80 minutes of my life back!
This is the worst movie I've ever seen. How can you screw up a film about one of the most notorious serial killers of all time? I want to know what made him the way he was, how he justified his crimes in his mind, what exactly he did to his victims, how did he get caught... None of these question are answered in this movie. It's just Dahmer hanging out with some gay guy for two hours. We see scenes with a sedated Asian man in his bed, but there is no foreground nor follow up as to how he got there or what happened to him. The movie is dreadfully boring, uneventful, and pointless. To top it all of the actors are bad and emotionless.
Mikey (1992)
Could be better
I discovered this movie as a Star Trek TNG fan, curious of what ever became of Brian Bonsall. A 10 year old serial killer... how could you go wrong? Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh in my review of this film. I guess my sick deviant mind just craved more blood. The plot works, and the big plus is that this film actually has a plot. The story is set up nicely and allows for a window in to the troubled mind of Bonsall's character. After a great opening I felt the film dragged a bit, but as with all thrillers the last 20 minutes more than makes up for it. Worth checking out but not a film you'll tell your friends about or rush to see again.
Carrie (2013)
It's a dud. Wait for DVD
Remakes seldom come close to matching the original, we watch them in hopes that it will at least bring something new to the story. Not only does the 2013 version fail to do this in comparison to the 1976 original, it fails even in contrast to the previous 2002 remake. The film is overworked with special effects and the script doesn't even deviate much from the original, which left me wondering what the point of this newest reincarnation was. A side from a brilliant performance from Julianne Moore (in a disheveled form that leaves the beautiful actress almost unrecognizable), the acting really falls flat. I thought C.G. Moretz looked more like she was having an orgasm every time she used her telekinetic abilities. The bizarre special effects during the infamous prom scene also reminded me of a twisted version of Disney's Fantasia. On a positive note for parents with teens or preteens interested in the film, the course language and nudity is kept to minimum. Even the shower scene left all of natures gifts tastefully covered. Although there is some violent content in the final scenes, it isn't over done. The movie is still a complete flop, and unfortunately leaves the door open for what is sure to be an even worse sequel. Wait for DVD.
Curse of Chucky (2013)
As Good As The First
Being a straight to DVD release combined with the ridiculousness of Bride and Seed of Chucky, I did not expect much from this movie. Sure enough it started off a little slow, as the film takes the time to build a story and introduce characters. When the action starts, you'll be on the edge of your seat and in awe when the film ties itself back to the Original Chucky movie. This movie brings the Child's Play series back to it's roots and redeems itself as a serious slasher-horror franchise. The ending leaves you knowing that this is not the last Child's Play movie we'll see, but wondering if it's the last time we'll see the red-headed killer doll. This is arguably the best Child's Play movie to date. There are a few inconsistencies, for example why Chucky didn't bleed when stabbed, but they are easy to overlook.