Change Your Image
dumpy666
Reviews
Halloween II (2009)
Just not feeling it this time (major spoilers)
I really have to say that I set my expectations far too high. I haven't seen a movie this summer that I liked and I was hoping for this flick to be a saving grace. It wasn't. All the elements that made the first Halloween great for me were missing. I miss Daeg Faerch as young Michael myers. So when the movie opened with a really bad flashback, and a different kid playing young Michael Myers (i knew this in advance), I was already skeptical. This new kid lacked that "it factor", and really made the dialog feel forced. The explanation for the "mom's ghost" shtick felt too reminiscent of Friday the 13th a la Jason Vorhee's and his mother.
To top it off the whole controlled by the will of his mother's ghost, or a delusion of it, spoils the thing that makes Michael Myers who he is. That is to say, an insatiable need to kill with no explanation of the true nature of his motivations. What makes him an effective killer persona, is the anonymity of his actions. Sure we know where he went crazy, and sort of why, but by Rob Zombie spelling it out so clearly in this narrative it takes away the allure. Like the adage says, "no one buys the cow, when they can get the milk for free".
As another poster has said their is a strange need to overuse the "f" word en mass, multiple times. So the dialog I found to be weak. Scout Taylor-Compton and Brad Dourif were good in there roles (Laurie Strode and Sheriff Brackett, but Danielle Harris as Annie Brackett was reduced to a secondary character with a lack of depth. As were Laurie's new friends, we'll call them "the slutty interchangeable-cliché twins". Because both of these characters performances were phoned in.
I'm not feeling the whole angry drifter angle they put Michael Myers in. Tyler Mane still conveys utter brutality on screen, so kudos to him. But they honestly didn't give him the proper vehicle this time, letting the whole flashback/hallucination/dead mother thing get way out of hand. How many times can you put your own wife on camera shamelessly before you realize she's impeding the flow of the characters progression. And how weak was the way Laurie found out she was really Angel Myers?, really, just read a book. It works, but it just seems like they threw it in last minute in a pitch meeting where they were trying to tie up loose ends.
This movie felt like a miss-mash of Halloween and The Devils Rejects. I really must say I was so excited to see this movie, but I guess when you factor in that Rob Zombie originally didn't want to make a sequel, but magically had a 'change of heart', I should've seen the writing on the wall. The first Halloween felt fresh because Zombie took an already good formula and expanded upon it with great character development, and a rare sense of hunger that made the brutality of the killings stand out even more. As a slasher movie, Halloween II works, but as the "Laurie Strode goes mental/psychological thriller" they hyped this as, I'm very disappointed.
Punisher: War Zone (2008)
The first movie I ever walked out of (possible spoilers)
Before you discount my review of this movie because I didn't stay until the end of the movie, let me defend my fandom. I have been a Punisher fan for years, I am a rabid fan of the Punisher MAX comic, I loved the 04' film and The Punisher character is for me one the best characters in a comic ever.
I went into this movie with low expectations because I was such a fan of the Thomas Jane Punisher film in 04'. It also had horrible reviews, but I told myself that a true fan would give this film a chance. In the opening scene of the movie Frank Castle sneaks into a mafia stronghold, and does what he does best, kills people. However, he does two things that Frank castle would never do: he snaps some mafia woman's arm and decks her, true fans know the Punisher doesn't hurt woman or children, it's one of his few rules. Then he grabs a chandelier, hangs upside down and then starts shooting. The Punisher is not a flashy overly choreographed showboat. He's a well trained, straight forward, ex-military killing machine. Knock my sheer nerdery but how do you enjoy one of your all-time favorite characters acting glaringly uncharacteristic manner. He accidentally kills an undercover FBI operative for god's sake(unless they explain he didn't do it after the 71 minute mark of the movie when I left). The Punisher I know doesn't accidentally kill people I swear i thought that I read that the director of this film did extensive research into the character, and stated her love for the war journal comic. But I refuse to believe that anyone who would put this movie out, is anything close to a fan, let alone well versed on the characters nuances. The casting was horrible, the acting was hackneyed, and the excessive splatter gore and grandiose fancy deaths were total BS. Ray Stevenson was horrible as Frank Castle, talk about a phoned-in effort. Choosing Ray Stevenson to play this role would be the equivalent to casting Corky from life goes on to play Jason Bourne in the next Bourne Movie.
I will go as far as to say that i feel like this movie is the marvel equivalent, to the DC Batman and Robin debacle. You want to see horribly campy special effects and one-dimensional acting se this film. The Jigsaw face special effects reminded me of Jim Carrey's "the mask", and his brother "Looney Bin Jim", wow what a horribly over the top job of psychopathic portrayal.
This movie takes various elements of the Punisher story: his family's murder, microchip(worst casting choice), Frank Castle's soft spot for children and his penchant for extreme violence. And then perverts them to the exact opposite of what I've come to expect from the Punisher Mythos.
The bad part of the plot for me was pretty much start to finish. It was predictable and B-movie-esquire. Punisher maims a criminal, he survives, and then goes on a rampage of revenge, Punisher kills him in a bullet drenched showdown, credits role. I'm not saying I could write it better Per Se, but I would've stuck to the Punisher MAX style of writing. Had Garth Ennis written this movie and used any of the Punisher MAX story arc's this movie would've been better than most of Marvel's recent films.
Transporter 2 (2005)
a slippery slope of CGI nonsense and ridiculous stunts
I went into this movie with an open mind, even though my better judgement told me otherwise. the TV ad's painted this to be an overdone stunt fest and too over the top. there were a few colorful nods to the first film, but not enough charm throughout to save the sequel.
the stunts are the focus of this movie. they were the nails in the joists holding the walls together in the first movie, they're the entire foundation this time. The writers and director make frank out to be not a mere astute wheelman and fighter, but rather a one man army, a superman of sorts. they packed in more choreographed nonsense than the average Jackie Chan movie. I seriously cannot say enough bad things about this director. A few times he made a nod in Sergio Leone's direction, but minus the brilliance that director was known for. The fight scene with the female assassin near the end was so crouching tiger-esquire it made me literally shout obscenities at the screen. The final showdown on the plane was so predictable that the second the plane was introduced onto the screen, my friend said "here comes your BIG Hollywood ending.", he was right. Just pointless overacted tripe. Those scenes on the plane looked like an episode of the Thunderbirds circa 1966. As for the driving, this movie is packed so full of CGI car stunt nonsense it's sickening. CGI can look fake, but this...this looks like adobe photo-shop bad. The bomb on the car and hook on the crane thing, had me shaking my head. and you know who i feel the worst for, Jason Statham, because they ruined this character big time, using this sequel to try to make him the next Mega-action Hero. This movie is to the transporter series what Blade:trinity was to that series. Convoluted, self-absorbed, unintelligent, cinematic rubbish. Anyone who tells me that i'm being too harsh on this movie is obviously easily entertained. This movie will insult your intelligence.
Looking to a third installment i'd expect Frank will be transporting birthday gifts for orphans and fighting terminators.